F O U R:

Summary: How do you feel an emotion that has been out of your reach for a thousand years? Can you feel it at all? Can you even tell it is there? When you've been blinded to the truth of humanity for eons, how do you react when you are confronted with it? How do you cross a line you only just realized is there? [KB] [Shuichi Minamino x Botan] SPOILERS.

Title: F O U R

Series: Yu Yu Hakusho

Genre: Romance / Drama / Angst

Pairing: Kurama / Shuichi Minamino x Botan

Rating: T

A/N: To give you a quick idea of what's going on without giving too much away, this story deals with emotional handicaps, time, and a little bit of identity crisis- but not the way you're probably thinking. Also, it takes place a few years after the end of the series (More specifically... probably the end of the anime, if only to avoid the complications of messing with a canon pairing. (Also, to bend time to my will: I set Genkai's death about a year after the end of the anime, instead of right at the end of the manga.)

HOWEVER! I'm writing this with Kurama's appearance as seen in the manga: Black hair and brown eyes.

Also- Don't get confused by the pairing I listed: I treat "Kurama" and "Shuichi" as a single being. I don't consider the fox spirit an alternate persona and Shuichi probably won't even take that form in this story. Anyway- That's (most of) the basics as to why this story is listed under Shuichi x Botan and not Kurama x Botan. (Despite the fact that I'll probably get fewer readers because of it.)

F O U R:

Chapter One:

L I F E:

S H U I C H I

Sometimes it was hard to believe that life moved on. Shuichi had spent such a long time involved with Rekai and the Makai Kingdom that sometimes life in the world of humans seemed incredibly slow and uneventful. He found joy with his family, of course, but outside of that he was at a loss as to what to do with himself. College proved more challenging than high school and middle school, but not by much. He was... popular with his fellow students, but had little in the way of friends among them. As they say: Admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.

He still saw Yusuke (And with him, Keiko) and Kuwabara (And with him, Yukina and Shizuru) occasionally, and Hiei rarely- But Koenma, Botan, their friends from the dark tournament and other adventures, never. Not once since... Well, since Genkai died. The funeral was the very last time they had all been in the same place.

Things were different now, but- He'd chosen this path. It certainly was strange- going so long without tapping into his Yoki. He wondered if someday it would simply... fade away. He supposed it didn't matter: it was part of a different life- a chapter he'd closed.

Shuichi had no intention of any further involvement with Rekai, or Makai. How was he to know that fate had other plans in store for him? That a prominent character from that closed chapter would soon stumble into his life?

It happened one autumn day while the dark-haired young man was out buying groceries. He had honestly never expected to see her again- What reason did she have to come to the human world except to ferry human souls? Still, she was there- blue hair and all- gathering groceries fallen from the bottom of a torn bag.

Shuichi wasn't sure at first that it even was her. He saw enough strange hair colors walking through the downtown area that it wasn't an immediate signal. Still, when he knelt down to help her, he was sure: The recognition on her face was clear. "Kurama-kun!" Shuichi's own eyes widened in surprise. "Botan... What are you doing here?"

How long had it been? Two? Three years? Botan smiled, "It's been so long! I just finished training about twenty new ferry girls, so I've been given an extended vacation. I decided I 'd spend it here in the human world- but I'm blabbering. How have you been, Kurama-kun? How is your mother?"

"It's Shuichi now." Said the black-haired young man, gathering up a carton of ice cream and a tube of toothpaste. "Though- I can't seem to get Yusuke and the others to call me that. I'm doing fine- Mother is in perfect health. I'm living in a dorm now, and I'm busy with classes, so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like."

Botan blinked a few times. "Ohh, right! You're a college student now, aren't you? I thought you looked a bit older. I'm sorry- You see, time passes a bit differently in Rekai. I've absolutely lost track of how long it's been!" She laughed. Shuichi smiled. "Three- No, four years. I don't know if it's surprising or not, but- you haven't changed a bit."

Botan laughed, getting to her feet. "Oh you. Thank you so much for helping me with my groceries." She said, putting some of the lighter things in a different bag. Shuichi frowned at the amount of bags- She'd have a hard time getting those home by herself. "Would you like some help carrying them?" He asked. Botan made a surprised face, then looked at the bags herself. "I guess... I might've bought a little too much to carry myself." She laughed again. "Awfully silly of me, huh? Sure- If it's no trouble."

Shuichi smiled, picking up three bags. He wondered how she thought she would carry them home by herself. "None at all."

He wasn't sure how he felt about meeting Botan again- He'd promised himself he'd never get involved with anything related to Rekai again, and here he was helping a ferry girl carry her groceries. Still, it was Botan: She'd been there through every adventure and had been a good friend to himself and the others. It was good to see her... right?

B O T A N

Kurama- Shuichi, Botan corrected herself, He's going by Shuichi now. Shuichi did look different. Taller, older- He'd even cut his hair: It now only reached his shoulders. She wondered how much the others had changed. They would all- except for Hiei- be in college now, wouldn't they? Well, perhaps not Yusuke. It was... strange. Botan hadn't really been close to any humans before, so the fact that they aged so quickly had never had a very prominent place in her thoughts. It occurred to her that any passerby on the street would assume Shuichi was the older of the two of them. At the age of- He was sixteen when Genkai died, wasn't he? so- twenty, he already looked like a mature young man- Botan's appearance was that of a girl at least three or four years younger than him. As he had said, she hadn't changed a bit.

"Do we turn here?" "Uh? Um- yes! We turn right here. Just a little further, now."

Botan adjusted the paper bags in her arms, still thinking. It really had been a long time... She wondered how Keiko and Yusuke were doing- Had they gotten married? Keiko had told her of Yusuke's proposal at Genkai's funeral... The last time Botan had been permitted leisure time in Ningenkai. She supposed they must have- unless Yusuke had really messed things up. She still wished she could've gone.

Botan realized she was thinking too much. She was on an extended vacation, after all- She would be able to go see them. Shuichi probably knew where they lived. She'd have to ask him about it later. Anyway- What was wrong with her? Here she was with a friend she hadn't seen in four years, and she wasn't even talking to him!

"So! How is college, Shuichi-kun?" Shuichi glanced at her for a moment, seemingly surprised by the sudden return of conversation, then turned his concentration back to the city. "It's fine. I'm not having a hard time of it, anyway. I'm aiming for a major in education and minoring in horticulture- I'd like to be a professor, some day."

Botan smiled. "I'm sure you'd be a wonderful one. I do hope you're not cheating in your horticulture classes, though." She teased. A smile spread across Shuichi's face that Botan could not decipher. "No. I haven't used my powers since the Makai tournament." Botan's eyes widened. "But- It's been five years since the Makai tournament! You haven't used your powers at all for five years?"

Shuichi nodded. "I've decided to live as a normal human. I've had nearly nothing to do with Makai for five years- nearly nothing. It's hard to avoid having anything to do with it when I'm friends with a Mazoku and Koorime." He said with a soft laugh.

"Hm..." Botan pondered this. So that's why he's going by Shuichi... Even with me and the others. "What about Yusuke and Kuwa-chan? Do you know if those two have cut ties with the Makai?"

"No and... Almost. Yusuke participated in the recent Makai tournament, and Kuwabara... Well, he wasn't involved with the tournament, but he has been talking with a few youkai about a surgery for Yukina."

Botan's eyes widened. "Surgery? Whatever would Yukina-chan need surgery for?"

"Calm down." Shuichi said in a reassuring voice. "She's not sick, or injured, or anything like that. In fact, she's better than ever. She and Kuwabara were married a few months ago- the surgery is necessary because of Yukina's race. You may not have heard of this, Botan, but Yukina is from an entirely female race- they reproduce asexually. If they... mate with a man, they will have twins- one girl and one boy, just like with Yukina and Hiei- however, having a son is deadly to one of Yukina's race. I suggested to Kuwabara and Yukina that they ask Koenma to simply make her human, as compensation for their aid in saving humanity, but Kuwabara wants a back-up plan, just in case."

Botan smiled. "Well, I could put a word in with Koenma about that. Still- only a few months ago? That certainly took a while, didn't it?"

Shuichi laughed. "Well, I'm partially to blame for that: I told Kuwabara to wait a bit on starting a relationship with Yukina- I had to talk Hiei around. Even then... You might've noticed that Yukina was completely oblivious to Kuwabara's feelings. It took a while for him to get those feelings across, and he was a bit hesitant to propose."

Botan raised an eyebrow. "Hesitant? Kuwa-chan?"

Shuichi shrugged. "Turns out he has a fear of rejection."

Botan smiled, a bit sadly. "So, I've missed another wedding. I don't suppose Hiei and Mukuro decided to tie the knot while I was in Rekai?" "Hm... You might have to wait a while for that one." Kurama said, half-serious. "A long while."

Botan giggled. "Well, I'm not missing another one- When you get married, someone had better find a way to send an invitation to Rekai." She joked. "On that note- What about you? Anyone special in your life?" Shuichi shook his head. "Not at the moment. Are we getting close now? To your home?"

Botan glanced around. "Ah! We are, it's just around this corner."

S H U I C H I

Botan's apartment was very nice- a fifth floor loft overlooking the city, with a large living room, bathroom, and a full kitchen. Shuichi assumed Koenma had arranged for it. The blue haired ferry girl asked, stocking her shelves, "Are you hungry, Shuichi-kun? It's about dinner time, would you like me to make something?"

"Ah- You don't have to go to any trouble-"

"Oh, nonsense!" Said Botan, with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You did help me carry my groceries home- the least I can do is make you some dinner. Do you like oden? It's the perfect weather for it."

Shuichi sighed, knowing he wouldn't win, and acquiesed. "Fine- Thank you." "Not a problem at all!" Said the young-looking woman, now removing items from her shelves. Shuichi took a seat on a rather pink chair- whether Koenma had arranged for it or not, the apartment was Botan's taste. He glanced around the room, noticing that it was filled with little signs of Botan's cheery personality- he laughed a bit to himself at the maneki neko on a shelf, and noted with a smile about five vases of peonys.

"So, how have you been, Botan?" Shuichi asked. They'd done nothing but talk about him and the rest of their friends on the way over, and he was curious as to how her life was going.

"I'm alright. Things have been a little... strained, for some time now in Rekai, so it's good to have a break. Enma-sama is still having trouble trusting Koenma-sama since the whole Mazoku fiasco- but give it a few hundred years and things will be back to normal- everything fixes itself soon enough."

Shuichi had been a bit surprised to hear her speak of a few hundred years as if they were a few months- or a few weeks. He'd forgotten again that Botan was not human, and came from a world that saw time differently than his world did. Even if he no longer acknowledged the youkai parts of himself, he should have remembered: when one has lived a few hundred years, the days, the weeks, sometimes even the months begin to run together. Surely Botan had lived for some time. He should not have been surprised at all, but it was so easy to forget that Botan wasn't human.

"You don't have any food allergies, do you?"

At least until she stuck her head through the doorway and Shuichi was confronted again by the lack of change in her after four years. How many human women would kill for that- to look sixteen forever? Still, it was unsettling to Shuichi. They could have been relaxing after a battle in the Dark Tournament, and the only thing that would remind him otherwise would be looking in the mirror- realizing that he, at least, had aged. Botan was like a photo from the past, a reminder with every glimpse of everything that had happened four years ago.

"Not that I know of- and I've had oden before, so there shouldn't be any surprises there."

She laughed- that same girlish giggle that she had for as long as he had known her. No, nothing had changed at all. Botan was the same Botan she had been since he had known her, with not even the slightest change. He supposed it was the human part of him that couldn't reconcile itself with this. After all, youkai aged so slowly that it was almost inperceptible if they ever changed. Almost. There were still more obvious changes in youkai after four years than there were in Botan.

He shook his head as she went back to the kitchen. There was no need to worry about it, or think too much about it. After a bit of time he would become used to it, and no longer be surprised by the lack of change. Surely.

B O T A N

Stirring the stew and humming quietly to herself, Botan heard a phone ring in the front room. She almost left her cooking to answer it, but then realized that it wasn't hers. After all, who would be calling her? Koenma was the only one who had the number, and he had other ways of communicating. Realizing Shuichi was getting a call, Botan turned back toward the oden, intending to mind her own business. However, it was quiet in the apartment and the only thing separating the kitchen from the front room was a thin wall and a doorless entryway. Of course, Botan couldn't help but listen in. Just a little bit.

"Hello? Oh, Yusuke. How are you?" Botan froze, staring down at the boiling stew. If she had been trying to respect Shuichi's privacy before, she wasn't now. "Oh, that's because I'm at... a friend's place."

Was he going to tell Yusuke that she was here? Suddenly Botan wondered if she was ready to see every one again. Was she emotionally prepared? Just seeing how much Shuichi had changed- seeing how much his life had changed- was she really ready?

"... Just an old friend from school. ...Hm? Yes, she's a girl, why?" Botan furrowed her brow. Why hadn't he told Yusuke-

Shuichi's voice rose, indignant. "I'm not you! Please, keep thoughts like that to yourself!" Botan glanced at the opening to the front room, wondering what Yusuke had said to set Shuichi off. "Yes, alright. I'll talk to you later."

The pink eyed girl returned her gaze to the oden, realizing it was nearly done. As she set herself to grabbing dishes, she couldn't help but ask, revealing her eavesdropping, "Why didn't you tell Yusuke I was here?" Shuichi didn't reply for a few moments, but finally said, "When you decide you're ready, you'll tell him yourself, won't you?"

"... Yes. So- what did he say that upset you so much?" Shuichi again took his time answering. "Some very... crude things, that he probably wouldn't have said if he'd known it was you." It took Botan a few seconds, but she eventually felt heat rising to her cheeks at the improbable though that she and Shuichi might do... whatever Yusuke had suggested. She shook her head, embarassed. "Um- oden's ready!"

A/N: I'm not sure if that's the best place to stop it, but I think it might have run on forever if I hadn't.

I'm still trying to decide how long this will be. The length will certainly affect the pacing, so I really need to figure that out. I do intend for Yusuke and the others to show up, but probably not in the next chapter. I really don't want to rush. (That's why I'm unsure about that call from Yusuke- but the topic won't be coming up a lot for a while, so I think we're okay.) Phew.