Title: Safehouse in a Bookstore

Rating: PG/PG-13(?)

Warnings: I don't know where the hell this came from; crack/insanity, NickEllis is you squint and tilt your head

Summary: Rochelle is pleased to find that their current safehouse is a bookstore. However, problems emerge when Ellis decides to try and read over her shoulder. How will she explain, and what Nick have to do with the explanation?

Disclaimer: I most certainly don't own Left 4 Dead 2, and Junjo Romantica belongs to Shungiku Nakamura.

Author's Note: I really have absolutely no clue where this story came from. I can't explain it even if I was presented with my wildest dream come true if I could. Also, excuse my grammar. I'm extremely tired, but decided to post this as-is anyway. Call me crazy, I already realize it.

"You're inta some pretty weird stuff, Ro'," the mechanic comments off-handedly.

A rosy color dusts Rochelle's dark cheeks as she turns her head to the side so that she can look at the younger man. Ellis is peering over her shoulder, his eyes focused on the book in her hands. Any other time she would have internally gushed over how cute the Georgia-native looked with his eyes all squinted and his lips set in a firm pout-like arrangement. However, in this current instance, she can't help but be embarrassed by the man curiously trying to read over her shoulder. She firmly shuts the book closed and places it firmly on her lap, her eyes downcast and unwilling to catch the mechanic's eye.

Their current location is a psuedo-safehouse in an old bookstore. Most of the bookcases had been dumped of their books and lined up against the windows, but there were still a few standing bookshelves that hadn't been removed of their possessions. One of the few bookcases left untouched was the manga section, a not-so-secret-anymore guilty pleasure of hers. She had browsed through the shelves' contents after the group had made certain the saferoom was secure and safe, and she had been more than thrilled to find a few of her favorite series among the shelves' contents. She had grabbed up a few of the latest volumes in one of her all-time favorite series before wandering over to the in-store café. After grabbing a bag of chips to nibble on, she had set up perch at one of the standing tables and began reading. However, what she hadn't accounted for was Ellis climbing up in the chair behind her to read the manga along with her. If she had known this would happen, she would have picked a more Ellis-friendly manga to read.

"How come you read that book backwards?"

The older woman cleared her throat nervously. "Well, it's not backwards, see? It's in the original format of Japanese books; it's how all Japanese books are made to read: from right to left."

"How come it's not in Japanese if it's a Japanese book?"

"Because manga are translated into English."

Ellis's mouth makes a wide o-shape, and he nods his head in understanding. "I get it, I get it."

Rochelle runs her finger along the spine of the book in her lap, biting her lip as she restrains from opening the book up once more to read it. It would be rather awkward to start reading again considering where she had closed the book at. She doesn't think Ellis is stupid, but she hopes that he hadn't been close enough to realize what had been happening on the pages.

All of a sudden Ellis is sitting in the chair right beside her, and he drags one of the books over from the stack beside her. He blinks a couple of time while looking at the cover before his face scrunches up and his eyes squint again, a look that Rochelle has come to associate with situations in which the mechanic is thinking about something rather hard.

"June-joe Ro-man-tic-a…?" He repeats the title a few more times before looking up at Rochelle.

If possible, the color to the woman's cheeks has darkened even further. She stares wide-eyed at the book in the mechanic's hands, finding herself nodding dumbly.

"How come there're two dudes on the cover?"

A snicker sounds from nearby, and both Rochelle and Ellis look up to see Nick approaching their table. He takes a seat in one of the other chairs at the table before he too grabs up one of the books. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head when he opens up the manga and begins reading.

A few minutes later the conman off-handedly answers the hick's question with, "It's because the story is about two guys fucking."

Rochelle heard Ellis let out a long, draw out "Oooooh," but her attention is focused on Nick, who is giving her a rather infuriating look.

"Th-there's nothing wrong with two men being in a loving, sexual relationship," the woman stammers defensively.

"Oh naw, not at all. This one time my buddy Keith-"

"Ellis," Nick interrupts, while he still holds eyes with the black woman. "Nobody wants to hear about your friend Keith's escapades with the same sex."

Curiously enough, Rochelle notices a light blush appear across the boy's cheeks.

"Ah, Nick, I wasn't gonna tell 'er nothing graphic, seeing as she's a lady an' all."

Nick turns his eyes on the hick and gives him a rather amused smirk. Ellis, to hide from the older man's gaze, flips open the manga in his hand and lowers his eyes to it.

However, after a few minutes the hick lifts his gaze once more. "I, uh, I don't understand how'ta read it."

Before Rochelle can even attempt to show the boy, Nick is sliding over beside him and pointing to which boxes he's supposed to read in what order. The newswoman watches the scene incredulously for a few moments, unable to fathom how things had progressed into their current situation. After a few minutes, Ellis shoos Nick away, telling the conman to leave him be now that he understands how to read it, and Nick returns to his own volume of the manga series.

The group sits in a tense silence, or it feels tense to Rochelle. The only sound is that of pages turning. She watches the two men with her for a few minutes before she hesitantly picks up her own book. She warily watches her companions as she opens up the page she had been on, as if waiting for them to suddenly pounce on her like some crazed, homophobic Hunter. However, after several minutes she realizes that they're both too busy reading themselves to be bothered with her, and so she lets out a relieved sigh before going back to the story of Usami and Misaki's eccentric love.

Coach wanders into the bookstore's café and settles heavily into the seat next to Rochelle. He sighs and presses his fingers into his bad knee, willing the slight pain to go away. After a few moments he notices something rather odd: silence. He glances up to the table he's seated at and takes in the sight of the others from their group calmly reading. Rochelle has a small smile spread across her face, Ellis is reading through the pages with a rather interested expression on his face, and Nick has the same bored look that he normally possesses when he's not annoyed or in pain. He notices that they're all reading the same book, and curiously looks at the book of the same title situated next to Rochelle's elbow.

He had seen manga before, having had to take a few away from his students when they were failing to pay attention, but he had never had any interest in reading one himself; although he's surprised to see the other two men reading one. He didn't think either of them were the type to.

All of a sudden the silence in shattered by Ellis slamming his book down on the table and letting out an uncharacteristic squeak. Rochelle looks away from her manga to glance at the mechanic, as do the other two, and she's more than curious when she sees a dark blush completely taking over the man's face.

"What's your problem, Overalls?" Nick asks.

The hick looks to Nick with wide eyes and an equally gaping mouth. "They show everything in 'ere!"

Rochelle bends to hide her face against the table, while Nick smirks.

"Didn't I tell you that?" The conman asks, a rare hint of amusement evident in his voise

Ellis taps the cover of the book, glancing down at its glossy cover in wonder. "You said it was 'bout two guys doin' it, but you didn't say that it showed so much detail! I ain't never seen so much detailed sex in a book 'afore."

At this, Coach's eyes become wide as saucers, and he looks condemningly at the book nestled innocently under the mechanic's fingertips. Anything that he would have said on the matter is prevented by Nick.

"If you think that that's graphic, then you haven't seen anything."

Upon hearing this, Rochelle whips her head up and gives the conman an accusing look. "Why do you know so much about all of this, Nick?"

The man simply gives her a sly smile before standing. He clutches onto the hick's elbow before pulling him to stand as well. "Come on, Overalls. I'll show you something even better than that sappy romance-shit." The hick follows wordlessly, eyes imploring and trusting.

"It ain't sappy!" Rochelle finds herself calling after the two. "And it ain't 'shit,' either!" She lowers her eyes back to the table before looking up at the oldest member of their group.

Coach gives her a sigh and the slight shake of his head. "Now look what you've gone and done. Nick was just waiting on the opportunity, and you served it to him on a solid gold platter." He gives the book in her grasp a disapproving look before sighing once more. "I can't judge anyone for their interests. I myself used to watch Oprah with my wife in the afternoons… sometimes." Then the older man stands and departs from the table, muttering something about going to find good, honest fiction.

Rochelle sits stunned for a few minutes. She can hear Coach's footsteps prowling the few standing bookshelves, the sound of the mindless wandering from the wandering zombies outside, and the hushed voices of Nick and Ellis somewhere else in the store – she's not entirely sure she wants to know what they're doing. After letting the noises around her fill her head for a little while longer, she picks up the manga she's been trying to read for the last half an hour and opens to the page she had been reading, because all she really wants to do is read the manga's gushy, romantic goodness.