Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that privilege belongs to Stephenie Meyer I'm just having fun messing with her characters.

So this is my new story, the title is taken from the song, which is where I got my inspiration. It's primarily Alice's story and will therefore be told entirely from her pov. Hope you like. xx

The First Cut is the Deepest

Prologue

"I'll always love you Mar."

Tears streamed down my face as I threw the last few photos into the metal bin.

"Together forever. You and me."

"Lying sack of shit." I hissed, striking the match and watching the flames begin to devour all the physical reminders.

Cards from birthdays and Christmases past, old valentines, love letters, poems, and all the photos of the two of us.

More tears fell as I watched the flames grow, part of me wished they would flow inside me and burn out all the memories as well, every kiss, every touch, every whispered I love you.

In other words every lie that he had spun to keep me loving him for 5 years.

Gulping in air I tired not to break down completely.

He wasn't worth it, he wasn't worth it.

I chanted over and over as the flames slowly began to die down, nothing but ash left.

My eyes fell to a photo on the floor, it must have missed the bin. I didn't even recognise the girl smiling up at me.

Picking it up I stared in disbelief, this used to be me but there was nothing even slightly familiar.

The long ebony hair had been cut off into short spikes. The sparkling blue eyes were now almost grey, dull and lifeless, sunken and bordered with purple bags from sleepless nights, the high cheek bones now stuck out gaunt and harsh stretching the pale skin that had lost that healthy glow. And the smile that stretched across her face, the simple joy and excitement that radiated from her was long dead in me.

The most significant difference, however, the one that was responsible for all the other changes was the lack of strong muscled arms circling her waist.

He was gone and therefore so was she.

Tears rolled down my face again.

I had given him everything, my heart, my soul, my body, my love, my life.

Yet it hadn't been enough, he had moved on to better things and I was left to try and pick up the broken pieces of all I'd given.

I couldn't hold it back anymore. My knees buckled sending me crashing to the floor screaming and crying.

I didn't think there was a big enough piece of my heart left to break.

Apparently I was wrong!

A high pitched crying broke through my despair. The small spark of life left in me flickered a little brighter at the sound.

Pushing myself off the ground I trudged down to the tiny room at the end of the hall and opened the door to the one memento I couldn't destroy.

The thing I believed would complete my perfect life, the physical symbol of our love was now a constant reminder of my wasted life.

But I could never be mad at her, I would never blame her or hate her.

She was my daughter and I loved her more than anything because she gave me a reason to keep going, to keep breathing even when it hurt so much I couldn't move.

As I fed her a bottle my mind wandered back down the forbidden memories I tried so hard to lock away.

I was 18 having just graduated high school, both me and James had decided to take a year off before starting college to travel.

"Lets see the world while we can Mar, you and me together it'll be amazing."

I couldn't refuse him anything.

When I found out I was pregnant, he'd seemed unsure but I'd put it down to shock, it's not like we'd planned on having kids so soon.

I deferred my collage entry again so I could focus on the baby.

James left for collage as planned, I didn't complain, he'd need a degree to get a good job. I could take online courses after the baby was born. Everything would work out fine.

Or so I thought.

Every time he didn't call, he had to reschedule a visit I always brought his excuses of too much work.

After all why would he lie to me? He loved me right?

He barley made it to his daughter's birth and left before he properly held her, but he had exams coming up he had to study.

Three weeks ago he'd come home for summer break, it was then he told me about Victoria.

How we had been young and in love and it had been fun, but with Victoria he connected with her in a deeper more meaningful way.

"I can't afford to pay maintenance."

Had been the last thing he'd said to me before walking out the door.

I felt a small hand press against my cheek and looked down into the bright blue eyes of my angel.

Pulling her hand away she looked at the tears that had gathered in her palm.

"I'm sorry angel" I whispered in a hoarse voice "I can't seem to stop."

She made cute baby noises before snuggling into my arms to sleep and a small smile graced my face as I just stared at her.

I would keep going, for her.

She was now my soul reason for living.

Looking back at the photo still clenched in my hand I sighed. The pain of James' betrayal still burned in every part of me and the truth was I couldn't take it anymore. My broken heart retreated, locking itself away from the risk of more pain.

The first Chapter will be up later today. Let me know what your thoughts are. xx