Hogan 3

Alright, this is the third chapter and also the end. I know it´s rather short but there´s nothing more to add, in my opinion at least. Maybe I´ll write a longer story soon, we´ll see. I´ve also included some lyrics of a song I thought was fitting. It´s named Der letzte Kuss (The last kiss) and it´s by a German band called Tote Hosen. Don't worry, I translated the lyrics for you guys, still you should listen to the song on utube, it´s one of my favorites^^

Nuff w/ the boring intro, enjoy:

Hochstetter looked down on the French prisoner with disgust, while he tried to catch his breath. "You son of a…!", Newkirk roared enraged, and was immediately met with the butt of Weber's rifle. When he looked up to scowl at Hochstetter, his mouth was red.

"Na, na, better save your breath, corporal.", Hochstetter sneered: "You have only got so much of it left."

"And what better way to use it to insult you!", Newkirk spat.

Hogan jumped forward as Hochstetter closed in on the English man once more, but was immediately grabbed by two of the guards. Before Hochstetter could do anything though, another guards stormed into the cell: "Major, there was a call for you from Colonel Klink."

"What did he want?"

"He meant to inform you that four of his prisoners have been reported missing.", the guard panted.

Inwardly, Hogan rejoiced. So Kinch had caught on to their predicament. Maybe even in time…

"I was going to get you but he was already on his way here…", the guard now reported. Hochstetter´s eyes bulged: "On his way…why?"

"Well, he´s coming to retrieve the prisoners with General Burkhalter." That was enough to send the major into a screaming fit again: "You told him they´re here? You blundering idiot!"

The young guard blanched, only now realizing he´d made a mistake: "I´m sorry, Herr Major.", he mumbled hastily: "I didn't think…"

"Of course not!", Hochstetter snarled: "Go and make yourself useful, private, stand outside and tell me once they´re here."

The private didn't have to be told twice; he was out of sight before the sentence was finished.

Relief washed through Hogan. So Kinch had grown worried and alarmed Klink. Maybe there was hope after all. Hochstetter noticed his expression and stepped up so close to him that their noses were all but touching.

"And why are we smiling, colonel?", he inquired.

"Your game is over, Hochstetter. Klink will get us out of here with Burkhalter´s help and we both know it.", Hogan told him swiftly.

He was beginning to feel his self confidence return. Hochstetter though wasn't impressed in the least. Instead he gave him a smile so malicious that it made him shudder.

"That might be true, Hogan.", he all but hissed: "But you want to hear what I also know`? I know it´s going to take them at least twenty minutes to get here."

Hogan thought he was going to be sick when reality hit him, hard. Hochstetter hadn't lost yet, he could still try to make him talk. And now, with his time running out, he wouldn't play around anymore.

"Fine.", he hissed angrily: "Get it over with, kill me. That's all you wanted in the first place, isn't it?"

By now he didn't even care anymore. All he wanted was to divert the man's attention whose fists were so dangerously close to Newkirk. Maybe his death would be enough to placate Hochstetter. Then the men could go back to Stalag 13 and maybe even continue their mission.

But Hochstetter burst that bubble with one snort.

"Not quite, Colonel. What I want is for you to be punished for all the times you made a fool out of me. And you will suffer, believe me, whether you confess and face a court martial or whether you watch your men being beaten to death and get to blame yourself for it for the rest of your existence. Your choice."

There was a short silence, probably to give him time to choose. Hogan barely acknowledged it over the pounding of his own heart, rushing blood through his veins. His gaze wandered over the faces of his men, the same expression on every one of them. No regret, no wavering; they already said their goodbyes to him without shedding a tear over their own imminent demise. If they could be that strong then how could he, as their senior officer, be any less brave?

+At some point, there comes the day for everyone

On which we pay for everything+

He knew he owed it to them to honor their wishes. If they wanted to die for the sake of the mission, he had to let them. He could not allow himself to think of anything but his fatherland right now. Not of all the times they spent together as a team, as friends and brothers. The fun they´d had despite their fights and the mistakes all of them had made at some point.

+And then we stand thinking of how it used to be,

Regretting our mistakes+

The family they´d come to be for him. The love he felt for every one of them and that was yet so different from the love he felt for only one of them. His burning eyes found Newkirk´s who looked back at him calmly almost as if to reassure him.

And in that moment, Hogan knew he would have given anything to prevent this reality from taking form, sacrificed anything, even his own happiness. As much as the secret of being in love with his corporal pained him every second, he would have gladly spent a hundred years forcefully keeping it inside him, if only it meant that Newkirk was save.

But he didn't even have that option now.

He should have told him earlier. Taken a chance.

Hogan knew the chances of his feeling being understood or even returned were infinitesimal. Still, it was the only thing he´d ever kept inside and denied himself, the only time he hadn't stood up for his wishes and beliefs.

+Wishing we would have done everything differently

And never lost our paths+

How could he die without at least coming clean before? But then, how could he burden the ones he left behind with that kind of mind altering confession?

For so long he had hidden his true self, because he knew that what the men, what Newkirk needed most of all, was the colonel they looked up to. He couldn't be sure they would be able to still see him that way if… so he had lived a lie and hoped for the war to end soon so he would be able to leave this unbearable situation behind.

In his mind, he had already seen himself standing at the gates of Stalag 13, the Allies rounding up the camp while he pulled Newkirk aside and told him everything. It had been partially cowardly to wait until he was free to run away in case he was rejected.

Still it had been as solid fantasy of his. And now he would never see any side of that gate and fence again. Die a hypocrite.

+We live hiding all traces of others and of ourselves,

so no one will ever see who we really are .+

Suddenly he wished he had kissed Newkirk that night in his office.

It would have been better than nothing.

But no, he had waited for the right moment, the right place, had spun his quaint fantasies around until the scenarios in front of his eyes seemed like fairytales, like they were taken from one of those cheesy Hollywood movies they were allowed to watch at camp. Kissing his corporal in the face of death certainly hadn't been one of those scenarios, but it seemed oddly fitting in a way.

+Where is the right place for an honest kiss?

I know I have to find it for us.

On some street, getting caught in the rain?

On a moonlit mountain top?

Or can we only get it from a deathbed?+

His thoughts were interrupted when Hochstetter waved to his guard Weber. "Begin."

The sturdy man nodded silently. With cold accuracy he walked up to his men and started delivering blows that sent them sprawling on the ground. Hogan instinctively jumped forward, but was immediately jerked back by the other guards.

Hochstetter watched with satisfaction as Hogan grew pale, his expression one of utter distress.

"Stop it!", he shouted, still fighting to get free: "They've got nothing to do with this!"

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure of that.", Hochstetter casually replied.

A crunching sound and a suppressed yelp told him that Carter´s jaw had just been broken. He tumbled to the ground while Weber moved on to cracking Newkirks ribs und his boots. It went on for what felt like forever and Hogan eventually ran out of curses to yell at the Major. Still the guard would not stop beating them even as they lay bound and helpless. LeBeau´s shoulder was obviously dislocated and there was blood trickling down Newkirk´s face into his already bruised face.

"You´re a monster, Hochstetter!", Hogan hissed hatefully: "Leave them alone or I will kill you myself!"

Hochstetter only laughed as Weber relentlessly continued.

"Now, that, I could use as one justification for having you shot, Hogan. Anyway, do you feel like talking yet, or do I have to start shooting your men?"

Hogan just glared at him. Shrugging indifferently, Hochstetter motioned for Weber to stop. Slowly, he walked down the line of men who could barely stay upright by now.

LeBeau was again swearing under his breath in French, but the major paid no attention to him.

"So who will it be, colonel?", he asked slyly, closely watching Hogan´s face as he drew his gun.

"Who is important enough to make you talk?"

Hogan bit his lip so hard it almost broke open; his insides felt like a lump of ice dragging him down. He couldn't stand here and watch them die, he couldn't…

"Don't…", he said beseechingly: "Shoot me if you must. They´re innocent."

He knew he was just repeating the same valueless words over and over; Hochstetter could care less if he was telling the truth or not. He had found his weakness at last.

He forced himself to keep his eyes open as Hochstetter passed Carter, brushing the gun over the sergeant´s shoulders. His breath caught in his throat, even as he didn't shoot but moved on to LeBeau. He looked at Hogan curiously as if he were waiting for something. In his frazzled state of mind Hogan could not think of what it was until the major moved on to where Newkirk was kneeling and pressed the gun to his temple.

"NO!"

All the control Hogan had barely managed to muster until now slipped away instantly at the sight of that. Against better knowledge he fought the guards grip more ferociously than ever; it was an instinctive response by his body before the brain could put a stop to it.

He realized his mistake the moment he saw the victorious glint in Hochstetter´s eyes. The bastard had set him up and he´d walked right into it.

"Looks like we have a winner.", Hochstetter sneered, pressing the barrel harder against Newkirk´s temple.

"Haltet ihn fest.", he told the guards who grabbed Hogan even more tightly if that was possible.

"Now...", Hochstetter looked down at Newkirk with mock curiosity. He moved the gun under the corporal's chin, forcing him to look up at him. Newkirk glared at the major without flinching; there was blood smeared almost all over the left side of his face, creating a stark contrat to his pallid skin, and his lip was cracked from one blow or another.

He looked as though he was about to faint.

"Now..", Hochstetter repeated idly, still looking at Newkirk while his words were clearly directed at Hogan: "If you don't mind telling me, why is this one so much more important than the other two, Colonel? Could he have a key role in your little sabotage act after all? Hmm, maybe I should ask him some questions…"

Maybe it was the cold steel on skin where his hands should have been, maybe it was Hochstetter´s cruel sneer, or the look of bleakness in those green eyes he loved: It was the straw that broke the camel´s back.

"I am a saboteur."

Hochstetter turned with his eyebrows arched but without removing his gun. Hogan made a point of staring into the space in front of him so he wouldn't have to see either the major´s gloating or his men´s horrified expressions.

"I will confess everything you want.", he continued: "Under one condition: My men, who have nothing to do with it, go free."

"We´ve been through this before, Hogan, don't think you can make a fool of me."

"Give me any piece of paper, I´ll sign it right now in front of you.", Hogan promised.

"Really?", Hochstetter seemed pleased enough, yet the calculating look didn't leave his eyes. He jerked his head in Carter and LeBeau´s direction: "Alright I will let those two go. But I´m still pretty sure that your corporal here is important to you, and I intend to find out why."

"Alright then, let ´em go. I´ll stay here.", Newkirk interjected without hesitance.

Neither Hochstetter nor Hogan paid any attention to his words as they continued to stare at one another.

"You´re right.", Hogan had to force himself to spit out the words.

He couldn't believe it had come to this. He hadn't been sure he was ever going to demonstrate his feelings for Newkirk, much less in front of a group of Nazi soldiers.

But what choice did he have?

This wasn't about romance anymore, it was about life and death.

"He is important to me.", he admitted: "Yet… it has nothing to do with espionage."

Hochstetter snorted derisively. He roughly jerked Newkirk to his feet who stumbled dangerously for a moment but managed to catch himself so he could go on trying to catch his breath. One hand clasped around the corporal´s upper arm in a bruising grip, Hochstetter shook his head: "I´m afraid you´re not very convincing, Colonel Hogan."

He released the gun´s safety catch without taking his eyes off Hogan. A smile broke across his features when he saw Hogan jerk forward in panic. "No!...No.", he then made himself repeat more calmly:

"Tell your men to let go of me and I´ll show you."

For a moment, Hochstetter seemed to debate with himself whether he really wanted to entertain Hogan´s pleading any further, but of course his lust for revenge got the better of him.

"Fine.", he waved his hand towards the guards who released Hogan and then took back several steps himself: "This had better be good, Hogan."

With the major suddenly letting go of his arm, Newkirk´s legs threatened to give in once more, but he was quickly supported by Hogan´s arms around him.

"Gov´nor.", he breathed shakily against the taller man´s neck as he leaned heavily on him: "Stop this. We won´t let you go down alone…"

It seemed like he wanted to say more, but he trailed off, his body being considerably weaker than his mind.

Hogan grabbed him tighter around the waist.

"Don't worry about me.", he answered quietly: "The mission is what counts. You are what counts."

It was supposed to address all three of his men but even to Hogan it sounded like he was solely talking about this one man in his arms.

"There´s no point…", Newkirk murmured stubbornly as he tried unsuccessfully to fully regain his footing.

"´Course there is.", Hogan dissented with a faint trace of the old enthusiastic colonel back in his voice: "I told you I´d get you out of this and I will. Have some faith, will ya?"

The familiar tone made Newkirk smile despite himself: "´S not you I don't believe in, gov´nor."

One last smile. One last quipped conversation. It had to be enough. Except for one last thing he still needed…

+Where is the place for an honest kiss?

The only thing I still need to give you…+

"Glad to hear it.", he smiled warmly as he reached up to cup Newkirk´s cheek in his palm: "Goodbye."

The corporal didn't move, he just blinked in confusion, somewhat alarmed: "Gov´nor what..?"

Before he could finish his sentence his lips were firmly sealed with those of his commanding officer. Hogan closed his eyes as his hand slipped to the back of Newkirk´s head, pulling him close, while his other arm kept steadying the wounded man. He kissed him softly but deeply, successfully blocking out the reality outside of his mind.

He was done lying. He was done pretending. This was all he still wanted.

+When ist he right time for an honest kiss?

One that can erase all of our lies.

Give me the time for one honest kiss,

that's how we shall kiss, at least now at the end.+

Newkirk gasped in surprise, obviously too stunned to react much at all.

His lips were chapped and they tasted of his blood but Hogan couldn't have wished for anything more.

It seemed like an eternity before he could muster the strength to tear himself away.

Newkirk´s green eyes met his brown ones without blinking. He seemed to have stopped breathing, and only his fingers which were clutching onto Hogan's arms in a death grip were proof that his heart was still beating.

"I love you.", Hogan said calmly, as he allowed himself to caress the younger man´s cheek once more: "I´ve loved you for so long. I´m sorry."

It was amazing how, with all the fear of his impending death, he was still able to make room in his chest for a sharp pang of sorrow at Newkirk´s non-reaction. He hadn't expected anything else; he was quick to remind himself, not in this situation, maybe not even under any circumstances. In fact, it was likely that Newkirk would throw an enraged fit once he snapped out of it. Luckily for Hogan, he wouldn´t be around for that.

That was, if he could get someone to actually move along with the proceedings. As it was, for a long, eerie moment, everyone including Hochstetter seemed just frozen into position, gaping in disbelief. The major was so completely stunned that he didn't even think to look appalled at what had just happened.

Carter´s bloodied mouth opened and closed silently, while LeBeau suddenly swore violently under his breath: "Sacré!"

That, at last, seemed to snap the major out of his stupor. He blinked as if to confirm he wasn't dreaming, then turned to stare at Hogan.

"Was zur Hölle…?", he hissed.

"There´s your answer, Hochstetter.", Hogan said quietly as he took an almost hasty step back. He didn't want to -much less to let go- but the way all color had drained from Newkirk´s face as realization slowly hit him was alarming.

Another stab of pain in his chest. He had had no choice, Hogan told himself. Newkirk would get over it. Maybe he would even put it off as just another scheme of his to fool the Nazis.

He didn´t try to talk to him, or to shake him up any further. He had said all he needed to say. And Newkirk didn't look like he was going to remember how to talk any time soon.

Instead, Hogan steeled himself as he returned to the real world. Apparently not even Hochstetter could misinterpret the look of utter shock on the corporal´s face for any kind of prior knowledge of this. So Hogan´s plan had worked; the target was off Newkirk for good.

He waited patiently while Hochsetter blinked a few more times, feeling the eyes of all men in the room boring into him.

"So where´s that signing sheet, major?", he finally prompted, desperate to get it over with: "Seems like you have a few more accusations to add to it now."

Al last, Hochstetter got over the surprise. The smile which had fallen from his face, was slowly returning: "Well that certainly is an interesting turn of events."

He swallowed hard and adjusted his gloves.

"An such a surprising one.", he added, looking at Hogan´s men: "We shall see what else you can tell me. To the courtyard."

And with that he stalked towards the cell´s door and yanked it open. Weber grabbed Hogan even more harshly than before, the contempt clearly showing on his face, and pushed him forward. Hogan followed Hochstetter without protest.

A heavy iron door to the side of the basement was opened with a creak and for the first time in hours Hogan saw something that actually made his heart jump in relief.

There, through the damp blackness of this vault, the first faint rays of dawn were shyly creeping into the room.

The night was over.

Hogan took one last deep breath and then stepped into the light without looking back. Whatever happened now, he had won. He had won over Hochstetter, just like he always did, and he had won over himself. He was free.

+It will be a kiss that forgives everything and frees the both of us+

Tightly holding on to that thought, he held his head high, leaving his petrified men behind.

Like Hochstetter, they were absolutely stunned, yet they had not been able to recover so quickly. Carter and LeBeau just took turns staring at Newkirk and then the open door.

From somewhere above them, there was a familiar barking voice giving orders, mixed with the unmistakable whining noise that was characteristic for Klink.

Neither of them acknowledged it as dawn broke on their faces.

Newkirk stood shakily on his feet, his eyes still wide and his bounds hands twitching like he wanted to bring them up to his mouth. His lips moved, forming Hogan´s name, but no sound left them.

Outside, muffled by the stone walls, a sound of thunder ripped through the silence.

The End.

Now, in case the ending wasn't quite clear -which is what I´m afraid of - it functions like the actual ending of A Sound of Thunder where you hear a loud bang but you don't know if the guy shot himself, someone else, or if it was something else all together. It´s supposed to be the same here: The men hear a loud bang which could be, snif, Hogan being shot, or Müller setting of the detonator. See, Hogan could still have had some time what with signing the papers and all and Klink is on his way. So there are two endings, you picture whichever one you prefer:

First, Hogan is shot but the other men are brought back to Stalag 13 with… well severe emotional scarring, but ok.

Second, it is the munitions factory blowing up, and everyone is startled which gives Klink time to save Hogan who hasn't signed anything yet and the guys all get out safely once more. Both versions allow some speculations of Newkirk´s reaction to what he has learned. The beauty of open endings.

Hope you enjoyed this little story. Please review.

Haltet ihn!-Restrain him.

Was zur Hölle? -What the hell?