A/N: So I seem to be on a roll with the fanfiction lately. That's two in three days! I'm feeling pretty accomplished, right now. Also a little bit sneaky. My other computer is still down, and I had some volunteering to do at the library. I brought the stuff for my summer assignments with me, as well as this fanfic, and got on the computer. I finished my homework, but instead of going back to the desk, I stayed here to type up this fic and post it. In the middle of the library. XD I'm glad no one looked over my shoulder. Sadly, Kirk and Spock aren't mine, and yes, this is is slash-riffic, so, yeah. If you don't like that, go away. :) Otherwise, enjoy!
Shut Up, Spock!
"Spock?"
"Yes, Captain?"
"Is that you, Spock?"
"Affirmative, Captain, otherwise you would not have received that reply."
"I can't see, Spock. Have I gone blind?"
"Doubtful, Captain, as I cannot see either."
"Well it must be damned dark, then."
"Well observed, Captain."
"Very funny, Spock. You're hilarious."
"This is hardly the time for sarcasm, Captain."
"Oh, shut up Spock. Where the hell are we?"
"As we have established that I am unable to see, I am also incapable of ascertaining that information, Captain."
"Certainly you must have a guess."
"Well, as we were captured by Klingons, it would be logical to assume that we are in a holding cell in an extremely remote part of one of their ships."
"We were captured by Klingons? Damn it!"
"You do not remember?"
"The last thing I remember is the ship being attacked. My memory seems to have gone blank from there."
"I see. That is a most interesting development. Where were you when the ship was attacked? I cannot recall you being nearby."
"I was in the sick bay, talking to Bones."
"Ah, the sick bay was hit rather heavily. You must have been hit with some debris."
"I must have."
"…"
"Alright, this is ridiculous. I feel like I'm talking to myself. Say something, Spock, I'm coming to find you."
"Captain, I really must protest. You have no idea of the terrain here. There could be a chasm or something of that nature between us and you could walk right into it. It is far too dangerous."
"I'm touched by your concern, Spock, but be logical. You said yourself that we're probably on some sort of Klingon ship, and the chances of there being a chasm or whatever are pretty slim. Also, we could probably tell if there was something like that here, even without seeing it. The acoustics would be different."
"…Your logic is sound, Captain."
"Of course it is. I'm sure I'm only in danger of tripping, or something, and since you sound pretty close, even the chances of that are small. Aha! Is that you, Spock?"
"Ah-hem. Yes, Captain. It is."
"Wonderful."
"Pardon me, Captain, but would you be so kind as to remove your hand? You seem to be grabbing my crotch."
"Oh! Jesus! I'm sorry, Spock! I didn't mean to – I can't see!"
"I am aware of this, Captain. No offense has been taken."
"Oh good. Good."
"…"
"…"
"Captain?"
"Yes, Spock?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Mmm, Spock. Oh God."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Spock! What are you - !"
"…"
"Oh God. Don't stop, Spock."
"…"
"Unngh. Sp-sp."
"…"
"Oh. Ah! Uhhnnn."
"…"
"Uhhhnnnnnnnnnhnnnunnnn."
"…"
"Spock!"
"Mmm. Did you enjoy that, Captain?"
"Did…did I - ? Holy hell, Spock! Where did you learn to do that?"
"Instinct, I suppose, Captain."
"Ugh. It would be instinct. Best bloody blow job ever, and it's instinct."
"This displeases you?"
"Shut up, Spock."
"…"
"…"
"Captain?"
"What?"
"I thought you should know that you taste good."
"Shut up, Spock!"