AN: Got an email asking me to reupload the 1st chap because something must have messed up so..tada...idk what happened...

Severus Snape stared. 2 year old Teddy Lupin stared back.

This could not be happening to him.

Snape shifted slightly in his armchair in his living room in his house and returned to the book he had been reading for the past half hour.

After a few sentences he looked up.

The boy was still staring.

He was going to murder Lupin when this was over.

Now. How did one professor who could strike fear into the hearts of all children get stuck with the task of babysitting one Teddy Lupin for the night?

Well, let's backtrack. First of all, there was a Ministry Ball happening. Actually, it was more like a ceremony. Kingsley, after 2 years as the "interim Minister of Magic," was finally having his position made officially permanent. Why a two year wait? Well the world had other things to do after it had gotten as good as annihilated during the Second Wizarding War.

But still, it had taken 2 years to sort it out?

Of course, this meant a celebration, all Aurors and Ministry staff were asked to attend and you don't turn down the Minister of Magic.

So, the entire world seemed to have packed its bags for the night. Tonks was definitely out of the picture, being the current head of Aurors. The entire Weasley clan was going (how many of them worked for the Ministry again? It was too many to count). Granger was off as well having just obtained a job working in Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures (if there was ever a longer job description...). Even the Potters and the Longbottoms were shipping out tonight as the men of the families had both become bloody Aurors over the past two years (Potter possibly, but how could the boy who blew up a cauldron a day make it through the Auror program? They must have seriously lowered their standards.)

And, the whole time Remus Lupin had been explaining this at the door of Snape's home, son tucked firmly under his arm, Snape could not help but ask the one question that had been eating away at him.

"The last time I checked Lupin. You have no ties to the Ministry."

And Lupin had paused and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly before muttering "It's the full moon."

Which quite effectively put an end to Snape's questions.

Of all the days to pull a ceremony they had to put in on the full moon? Whose brilliant idea was this? Nevertheless, Severus was going to murder those responsible...as soon as the blasted boy stopped bloody staring at him.

He had glared, he had sneered, he had downright hissed and growled but he had stopped immediately when the boy began to hiss and growl back.

He vaguely remembered what Lupin had told him when he'd unceremoniously dumped his son off at Snape's doorstep.

"He likes to copy what people do. He's potty trained and can eat solid food. When his hair's red he's mad. When it's natural he's sad or sleepy and when it's blue he's happy. Please. Everyone's busy and his grandmother already made plans. He's a good boy. You'll be fine."

Those had been the basic instructions and Lupin had given a little smile which looked more like a grimace and waited nervously for Snape to respond. Weren't wolves supposed to be possessive or something? Or was that territorial?

Either way they certainly don't just dump their only child off at their arch enemy's house on the night of a full moon with a stuffed cow named Moo Mi (why "Moo Mi"?) and a matching blanket, pyjama set with little dragons on it.

...why Snape cared that the items had dragons on it or not escaped him at the moment.

Granted, he'd seen where Lupin was going with his logic in choosing him as babysitter and it hadn't looked like Lupin had been quite pleased with the deal himself either, seeing the way he'd fidgeted so much at the door. Besides, it was good to have someone owe you in the future and, wolfsbane or not, Snape wasn't that cruel to allow a two year old wander freely in the same house as a fully transformed werewolf...or maybe even worse: Wander the house alone while said werewolf went elsewhere to transform... Snape was fairly certain both options were illegal anyways...

So, with enough glaring that he was fairly certain Lupin would spontaneously explode, he'd picked the boy up, grabbed the bag of belongings and slammed the door in Lupin's face without another word.

Entering his living room, Snape had placed the boy on the carpeted floor, unzipped the bag and left the boy to his own devices, picking up a book to read in the process. Unfortunately for him, Teddy had preferred to stare at the unfamiliar surroundings before finally settling on the man in the chair at the other end of the room.

And half an hour later, Teddy had stayed there, staring at the man in the faded jeans and a shirt while said man formulated plans on different ways to cook the boy's father alive without making it too obvious that it was him performing the task.

Truthfully, he'd gotten himself into this mess but it wasn't as if Snape would ever admit it.

He looked up.

The wretched boy stared back.

Snape lowered his eyes once more. It was strange; he'd never had this happen before. Students always looked away from him and did everything in their powers to continue to look away...unless they were up to something...

Snape looked back up at the turquoise haired boy suspiciously. This was the son of one of those blasted Marauders after all. Maybe he was planning something. Maybe something was to be dropped on him at any moment or something would spontaneously explode behind him...

"Bloody hell get a grip! The boy's barely two years old!" Snape thought to himself.

Nevertheless, he looked up once more.

Teddy did nothing to falter his gaze.

Snape was getting paranoid... He needed a drink...

With a snap, Snape closed his book and got up. The sudden noise in the otherwise silent room caused Teddy to jolt suddenly and Snape took evil pleasure in causing the boy some fright. Hell, any reaction was better than that infuriating staring.

He cautiously made his way past the boy and entered the kitchen to open his liquor cabinet...which was empty...go figure.

With a sigh, Snape poured himself some juice from the fridge before heading back to the living room fully prepared to be greeted by silent staring.

"ME!" Teddy suddenly shouted as soon as Snape re-entered the living room. Totally not expecting the boy to actually say something (and so damn loudly too!), Snape almost dropped the glass he was holding.

He turned to look at the boy on the ground who was frantically waving, wide eyed and shouting "Me! Me! Me!"

"Shut up already!" Snape hissed.

First he couldn't get the boy to do something and now he couldn't get him to stop!

Now, Snape was a logical man. Teddy had been set off by his re-entrance. Now, what was the difference between his entrance and his exit? Simple, he was carrying a drink.

And with a sigh Snape took the few steps over to Teddy and sat down in front of him with one of his deadliest glares

Teddy, who had stopped shouting once Snape had positioned himself in front of him was left staring right back at Snape with quite possibly the cutest puppy dog eyes ever seen.

"Pweeease?" Teddy said after a beat and Snape's glare softened slightly before he sighed in defeat. How was he to know that his glares didn't affect children 2 years and younger?

He swatted the boy's arms away and slowly raised the glass to Teddy's lips. Almost instantly the boy latched on to the glass and Snape's hand and began drinking.

Well this was surely awkward.

Nevertheless, Snape tilted the glass upwards gently so the boy could finish and when he was done, Teddy let go and gave Snape one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen...which wasn't saying much since rarely did people smile at Snape...unless they were, again, up to something...

Snape made sure to check behind his shoulder before getting back up and headed back to the kitchen.

Along the way he made a mental note to himself that he was indeed getting paranoid...wasn't it bad when you begin to cross-analyze yourself?

Now he really needed a drink and just juice was not going to cut it.

Snape went back to his liquor cabinet.

It was empty. Just like it had been a few minutes ago.

With a frustrated huff he slammed the cabinet closed.

The very normal thing to do was to apparate to Hogsmeade, grab a bottle and apparate back. It'd only take a few minutes at most. Snape knew; he'd done it hundreds of times in the past.

Peering back out into the living room Snape watched Teddy's head bob repeatedly in and out of his bag obviously looking for something. Teddy seemed nicely preoccupied. He hadn't moved much within the past hour that he'd been here anyways. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt would it? Hell, it probably took the brat two minutes just to cross the room...assuming he could even walk at all...

"You walk at two years of age yes?"

Snape couldn't remember. It wasn't as if he had experience with any of this.

But it didn't matter. Two minutes. Teddy could stay still for two minutes. Genetically speaking Teddy wasn't the sort of kid to have lots of pent up energy. His parents were usually very calm...actually, Snape had to admit that he didn't know much about the boy's mother but his father seemed level headed enough.

Snape looked back out into the room.

Teddy had found what he was looking for and was busy making Moo Mi gallop across the carpet.

...Did he really just address a stuffed cow by name? Snape frowned at this realization.

Meanwhile, Teddy seemed to be having fun although what could possibly be fun about playing with a stuffed cow?

Either way, he was staying still and, not wanting to waste any more time, Snape ran upstairs to grab his robes.

As soon as he stepped onto the landing of the second floor however, he heard a thump from downstairs.

Rolling his eyes at the irony, Snape grabbed his cloak and headed back downstairs. Typical brat, they're the model of innocence while you're watching them but turn around and they could destroy half the world before you turned back.

When Snape got downstairs all he managed was to stare.

He took in Teddy's bag lying innocently on the floor of the living room.

He took in the book also lying on the floor where he swore he had left it on the armchair.

He then took in the wand lying in front of his bookcase to the side of the room.

And finally, he took in the vibrant yellow haired boy on the bookshelf.

Wait. Backtrack. On the bookshelf?!

Snape's attention was fixated on the little form currently climbing up his bookshelf on which at the very top, Moo Mi sat.

Most protectors of children would have instantly freaked out and grabbed for the boy but Snape merely wondered on how in earth had the cow manage to get up there?

Snape's attention then rotated back to the wand on the floor.

It wasn't uncommon for children from wizarding families to unconsciously perform magic now and then which was why it was highly frowned upon to give a child under the age of eleven a wand.

That wasn't the point bothering Snape. No, the thing that was bothering him was that he had been certain that he had left his wand by the nightstand next to his armchair on the other side of the room.

"How fast can this brat walk? I was only gone for a few seconds at most!" Snape muttered to himself before he heard slight whimpering from his bookshelf.

Snape once again returned his attention to the bookshelf whose occupant had successfully reached the top and re-gained his precious stuffed cow. Unfortunately, Teddy must have underestimated the height of the bookshelf for now he peered precariously over the edge with a look of fear at the drop below.

"Daddy?" Teddy called out fearfully, seemingly ignoring Snape and calling out for much needed assistance.

"Bet you didn't think on how you're getting down did you?" Snape sneered up at the boy whose hair was now a dark brown. Teddy turned his attention back to Snape and stared at him for a beat. "Daddy?" the boy asked, wondering where on earth his father was and why a greasy haired git was here instead.

Snape rolled his eyes at the boy "Your bastard of a father isn't here right now. It's just you and me and quite frankly I'm about as unhappy about it as you are," Snape told Teddy firmly and all he got was a scared whimper in return.

"Daddy no heew?" Teddy asked, having obviously having not realized before that he had in fact been abandoned by his parents...or at least that's what Snape currently viewed it as.

"No. The mutt isn't here. He's currently chasing his tail and eating out of a dog bowl no less," Snape went on rather conversationally.

Was it normal to have conversations with two year olds while said child was on top of a bookshelf? Snape didn't know. Nor would he ever know because he had a deep suspicion that if he told anyone, Child Services would be knocking at his door at any moment.

His mind made a brief note that now was the perfect time to head to Hogsmeade to grab a stiff drink.

Now, Snape was cruel but he couldn't just leave the kid up there. The second he left the boy would probably realize he was doomed and fall or even worse, he'd tip the whole bookshelf over and Snape's precious books would be ruined.

With a grumble Snape fetched his wand and with a simple "Wingardium Leviosa" Teddy was suddenly suspended in mid air.

Teddy gave a delighted squeal as he was suddenly lifted into the air still clutching his beloved Moo Mi closely to his chest.

When he was settled onto the floor Teddy gave Snape a large smile and threw Moo Mi up into the air in obvious contentment from his trip.

And now Snape was left with what to do next.

He was already dressed, he might as well go head out to Hogsmeade. Whether or not normal babysitters would have approved of this move didn't bother Snape. He had absolutely no intention of putting "babysitter" on his resume after all.

But the boy was a problem. Hell, the damn brat was the cause of his sudden craving for a bloody drink in the first place!

Snape continued to glare coldly down at the boy who seemed to have a sudden obsession for playing with the edge of Snape's robes, totally unaffected by Snape's gaze on his stupid orange head.

Eventually Snape sighed. There was no way in hell he was leaving the brat alone now that Snape knew Teddy could quite possibly level the house in his absence. But he really needed a drink, otherwise Snape feared he'd have a mental breakdown by the time the night was over.

Should he call someone else to deal with this mess? Should he call Alcoholics Anonymous?

Snape banished both ideas. He was not an alcoholic and it's wasn't as if he knew many people who would sympathize over his predicament. McGonagall was probably at the Ministry ceremony, she was headmistress of the most famous wizarding school in Britain after all. Pomfrey? She would be the ideal person to help but Snape knew that if he went to Poppy he'd never live it down. He might be able to threaten Hagrid into it but the giant would probably scare the boy shitless and then Snape would be even worse off.

And those three were the only people Snape could think of that lived in Hogwarts seeing that it was summer break for students (otherwise he surely wouldn't be at home). Oh yes, there was also Sybill Trelawney but...

Snape looked down at the boy absently chewing on his cow's ear.

Yeah. Trelawney would not be the best idea...

So with that, Snape picked up Teddy with a scowl and apparated the two to the Three Broomsticks.