A/N: Oh wow! You guys rock! Fifty reviews! That's amazing thank you so much for all your reviews and support. They really keep us going. Thank you: unknown to love, Mrs. PavelChekov, Kitty243, amazontraveler and estar9821 for reviewing the last chapter and all the other ones you have reviewed. Thank you all so much.
As the World Falls Down
"What happened?" Lia stood next to Maddy's bedside alongside Kirk and McCoy, her hand over her mouth. For a second, Maddy had flatlined, then her heart started beating again, albeit slowly. Kirk wrapped his arms around Lia, who was stiff in fear. She swallowed and leaned against him. For a second, she had really thought her friend was gone.
"I'm not sure, Nurse!" McCoy was white as well, and called Chapel in to increase the fluid in her IV. Kirk just held onto Lia, who still hadn't relaxed.
"Hey, it's alright, it's going to be okay." She didn't answer him, though she did relax slightly. It was then Maddy's heart monitor started going crazy again.
"No, no no!" McCoy raced over to Maddy and started adjusting her medication while Kirk pulled Lia out of his way.
"Give him some space, Bones knows what to do." He tugged her out of the sickbay, Lia's eyes still focused on Maddy's erratic heart monitor.
-/-
When Maddy was younger she loved spending time with her family: camping trips, ball games, movie nights, it was always fun and always special, but as she got older, her desire to spend time with her family lessened. Instead, it was days at the mall and parties with friends became her norm. When she left for college, she never called as often as she should have. The last time she talked to her parents, she didn't tell them I love you, didn't let them know how much she appreciated everything they did for her, no, she told them she couldn't talk right now, and needed to hang up. She didn't even get to say good-bye. Now, she'll never be able to say good-bye.
-/-
"…And lilies from…Jimmy." Janice sat next to Tonia's bed, reading get well cards and telling Tonia all about who sent her what, acting like Tonia could hear her. She made a list of who Tonia had to send thank you cards to when she woke up. Janice smiled only a little, doing this made her honestly believe that Tonia would get better and things would go back to normal. Tonia's heart monitor made an odd sound, and Janice turned around to look at it. Her heartbeat was getting erratic, she hurriedly pushed the nurse button and stood up, hovering over Tonia's bed.
"What's happened?" The nurse hurried in and took one look at the heart monitor and called for the doctor.
"She's going into cardiac arrest, I need some help here!" Janice moved back, her eyes still on Tonia, who was being surrounded by nurses and her doctor.
"No." She whispered. "No, it can't end, not like this, you can't die, YOU CAN'T DIE!" She burst into tears and someone took her by the shoulders and guided her out of the room. She turned as she was being led out of the room to see Tonia lying pale and still on the bed.
-/-
Sitting under the blankets with her sister telling ghost stories, making dinner with her mother, piggy-back rides with her father, riding on her first boyfriend's speeder bike, her days at the academy, going on double dates with her best friend, setting sail among the stars and exploring the galaxy, the butterflies he gives her when he smiles. These are things she'll never have again…
As Tonia's life flashed before her eyes, she felt her body become heavy, it was becoming hard to breathe….and she felt the pain blooming in her chest…..this was it. She was going to die, and with her, Maddy as well. It was her fault, her fault she hadn't been more careful. And now someone else is going to suffer for it.
-/-
"Live damn it, live!" McCoy was beside himself, doing everything he could think of to save Maddy's life. She was having a heart attack, and nothing he did seemed to have an effect. He kicked the wall in frustration.
"Damn it Madeleine, I never even got to tell you…." He drifted off and ran a hand over his haggard face. "Never even got to tell you that I love you…."
-/-
"Get the defibrillator, we're losing her!" A nurse quickly handed the defibrillator to the doctor, who put the pads on Tonia's chest.
"Clear!" They gave her a jolt, but she stayed still and unresponsive.
"Again!" Still no response, the blare of the machine that should be recording her heart beat loud and blaring out a single tone. The doctor sighed and wiped her forehead, she looked up at the clock and nodded to her nurse.
"Time of death, 10:47." She took her gloves off and threw them into the trash. She went outside the room and saw the woman's friend standing outside the door, giving her a broken distressed look.
"Tonia?" She asked.
"I'm sorry. You're friend went into cardiac arrest and we lost her." Janice lost it and gave a sorrow filled wail before she started crying again. The doctor shook her head and led Janice to a bench and sat her down.
"Would you like me to get Dr. Collins for you?" Janice shook her head.
"No, no, there's nothing he can do. There's nothing anyone can do." Silent tears streamed down her face as the doctor left her alone.
-/-
Maddy's heart monitor flat lined and she stopped breathing.
"No! Dammit, don't you dare!" McCoy yelled as he pumped on her heart, resorting to an ancient technique of reviving a patient.
"One. Two. Three." He beat on her heart, nothing changing. "No! No! No!" He paused for only a brief second before yelling for Chapel.
"Nurse I need 50 cc of cordrazine." She gave him a shocked look.
"Doctor, you know what happened last time."
"Dammit Chapel!" McCoy snapped. "If you can't do what I tell you to then get me a nurse that can!" Chapel nodded before retrieving the cordrazine. McCoy grabbed it out of her hand before injecting it into Maddy.
"If this doesn't work, nothing will." Both of them watched the heart monitor in apprehension. "Work, please work." McCoy willed Maddy's heart to start again. "Dammit Madeline, don't do this to me!" McCoy stood almost trembling with anxiety as he stared at Maddy's heart monitor. She couldn't leave him, not now, not this way….For god's sake, he prayed silently, don't do this, let her live. Chapel bit her lip and looked at McCoy with sympathy.
"Doctor, you have to call it."
"No, no, there's still hope, we just have to wait for the cordrazine, we have to wait!" He yelled at her, and Chapel shook her head and yelled back.
"She's gone!"
"No she, no….." He slumped in despair, his Madeleine, dead, it couldn't be, it just couldn't. He distantly heard Chapel record her time of death as he stood beside her bedside. Why did it have to end this way, why? He brushed her hair off her pale face and leaned down, pressing one last kiss to her lips.
"I'm so sorry."
Beep.
McCoy looked up, startled at the sound of the heart monitor.
Beep…beep…beep.
He jumped to his feet. Her heart was beating again! He gave a whoop of joy and hugged Chapel in his excitement before returning all his attention to Maddy's heart monitor.
"Doctor, the cordrazine, it worked!" Chapel sounded shocked. Both watched as Maddy's heart beat became stable and returned to normal. McCoy let out a breath of relief and held Maddy's hand.
"Thank you."
-/-
"So young too." A nurse shook her head, while pulling the sheet over Tonia's head. She hated this part of her job. She hated not being able to save everyone. "You poor thing." She was about to fill out her death certificate when she heard it.
Beep.
She forgot to remove the heart monitor. She watched the heart monitor, then checked Barrows pulse. She put her hand near Tonia's nose, she was breathing. She wasn't dead!
Beep…beep…beep.
The nurse ran out of the room. "Doctor! Doctor!" Two doctors turned around and focused their attention on the nurse.
"Nurse, what's wrong?"
"The patient in room 105 has a heartbeat."
"105 was just pronounced dead."
"I checked her pulse myself. She's not dead!" Both doctors and the nurse rushed into the room. Tonia's EKG was normal. Everyone in the room was shocked. The nurse gasped.
"It's a miracle." The doctors were stunned.
"It certainly is something." One of the nurses grabbed the phone to call Janice, who was downstairs with Jack, while the other one tore up the death certificate as Tonia's heart continued to beat normally. A minute later Janice and Jack rushed into the room, Janice in tears.
"Oh thank goodness, thank goodness!" She took Tonia's hand and cried in relief.
"Thank you."
-/-
Lia slumped in relief as she heard McCoy happily tell Kirk through the comm that Maddy was alright. She jumped to her feet and joined Kirk at the comm.
"Can we see her yet?"
"She's still asleep, I'll tell you as soon as she wakes up." Lia pushed her hair behind her ear and sighed as Kirk wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"Good, yeah, thanks." She ended the conversation and leaned back against Kirk's chest in relief. He smiled and whispered in her ear.
"I told you everything would be alright." She turned around and kissed him before whispering back.
"I know you did."
Several hours later saw McCoy still holding Maddy's hand, when her eyelids began fluttering. He leaned forward eagerly.
"Madeleine, Madeleine can you hear me?" Her eyes opened slowly, and she squinted at the light. "Hey." He smiled widely at her. She smiled weakly back.
"Hey." She whispered. "I like the beard." McCoy ran a hand over his face; he hadn't shaved since Maddy had fallen ill.
"Um, thank you?" She weakly smiled at him.
"It's hot." She closed her eyes again, tired. McCoy wasn't sure what she meant, it must have been another one of her 21st century sayings.
"I don't feel good." He quickly adjusted her medication.
"That should help, you should probably get some more rest." Maddy smiled again and closed her eyes.
"Okay." She said sleepily, and McCoy kissed her forehead.
"Sleep well."
"Leonard," McCoy paused in the doorway. Maddy had never called him by his first name before. "Thank you." She closed her eyes again and fell asleep.
-/-
"…Should be waking up soon…a miracle… she survived." Tonia heard muffled voices and felt sunlight on her eyes. Suddenly, Janice appeared in her line of vision.
"You're awake, she's awake!" She hugged her enthusiastically and Tonia winced. Janice let go and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, I'm just so happy you're okay!" Tonia smiled.
"Me too." Jack appeared next to Janice and took her hand. Tonia smiled, at least Janice had Jack to keep her company while she was out.
"I was so worried about you. You've been in a coma for three days." Tonia looked startled at the news.
"Three days?" Janice nodded and squeezed Tonia's hand.
"Yes, but don't worry, the doctors say you'll be fine now."
"Yeah." Tonia felt confused, she supposed that Maddy must be okay now too, that was good. Then why did she feel so bad? She swallowed and closed her eyes, and heard Jack lead Janice out of the room, saying she needed her rest. After seeing Maddy she really wanted to go home, to her real home, not the apartment she shared with Janice. She wanted to go back to the Enterprise. She wanted to go back to where she belonged. She may have forgiven Maddy, but that didn't mean she was okay with it. She felt tears stream down her face and for the first time in a long time she allowed herself to cry.
-/-
Maddy sat alone in the sickbay after finding out that McCoy had barely slept in the past three days. She told him to go away and come back after he'd slept a proper seven hours. She figured he might only stay away for about three hours. She stared blankly at the wall, trying to figure out what to do now. It was easy to pretend that no one got hurt when she thought of Barrows as just a TV character, but she wasn't, she was a real breathing, living person, whose life she had destroyed. What was she supposed to do now? How could she let things go back to the way they were, when she was just in a constant high from being in her favorite sci-fi show? How could she go back to running around and having fun when she knew that Barrows was struggling to live in a world she knew nothing about? How could she go back to being carefree now? Barrows may have forgiven her but that didn't absolve her of her guilt.
-/-
"Don't you worry, he'll come around soon." Chapel was sitting at Maddy's bedside, doing her makeup. She closed her eyes while Chapel brushed on some eyeshadow. After Maddy was able to get up, she scared herself looking at the mirror in the bathroom, and asked Chapel if she had any concealer. It was stupid, but she didn't like McCoy seeing her at anything other than her best. So here she was, Chapel now adding blush to her cheeks. She forgot Chapel was a little heavy handed with the makeup.
"I think that's enough." Chapel put the blush in a little makeup bag and set it on the table next to the bed.
"There you go sweetie." She handed Maddy a mirror and Maddy tried not to grimace when she saw how much makeup Chapel used on her. She was worried if she started crying she'd end up looking like the Joker.
"Um, thanks." She put the mirror down and subtly tried rubbing some of the lipstick off. "Do you know when I can get out of here?" She had been stuck in the sickbay for three days and she was starting to feel antsy. If she didn't get released sometime soon she was going to have to break out of the sickbay and hide from the medical staff. Her jailbreak thoughts were brought to a halt when she heard the medbay doors open.
"Yo." Lia stepped into the sickbay and the doors shut behind her. She looked at Maddy. "You look like a beat up hooker." She still had some bandages around her shoulder and some bruises on her face from when she fell. Her leg was still broken despite McCoy's attempts to use a bone mending serum. Apparently the makeup hadn't done the trick.
"Gee thanks." Lia pulled a chair out and sat next to Maddy's bed.
"What up?"
"I am a prisoner of my own boyfriend, how do you think?" McCoy wasn't letting Maddy go for another two days, at least. These beds were not that comfortable. She winced and fluffed up her pillow. It wouldn't be so bad if McCoy was here keeping her company, but he was currently on an away mission, having fun somewhere in the fresh air, while she was stuck in an uncomfortable bed.
"I'm getting out of this place, get my crutches." Lia handed them to her and Maddy gingerly stood up. She nodded to the door.
"Let's go." They took off down the hallway, Maddy getting strange looks for her hospital outfit, which had pants, thank god, and her crutches. They walked to the lift and zoomed off toward Maddy's floor.
"I'm gonna take a real shower and put on real pants and a real top with a real bra!" Maddy attempted to do a victory dance, but was crippled in her attempt due to her injuries. "Think about it Lia, a real bra!"
"They are the greatest thing ever, it's true." Lia nodded in agreement.
"Yep, a real bra for me." She sang and attempted to dance again.
"Fascinating." Both girls screamed and Maddy lightly hit Spock on the arm.
"Dammit, why are you always here!" Spock raised an eyebrow and Lia tried not to laugh. She was not embarrassed about talking about bras in front of Spock, she really had no shame, but Maddy's antics in front of Spock were laugh worthy.
"Should you not be in the sickbay, Miss Flint?" Spock ignored her outburst.
"Spock have you ever been stuck in the medbay with McCoy? It's terrible. I have never been more fussed over or mother-henned."
"The Doctor does have a tendency to…hover." The lift stopped and the two girls got out. Maddy pointed back at Spock.
"You don't tell anyone we were talking about bras!" She heard an intake of breath behind her. She turned around to see McCoy and Kirk, back from the away mission.
"I mean….flaws! Don't tell anyone about my flaws!" McCoy glared at Spock and took Maddy's arm.
"I don't want you around him when you're drugged. Why in tarnation were you talking about bras?" Spock just stood there, eyebrow raised. McCoy looked at him suspiciously.
"Stop being a bad influence on her, hobgoblin."
"Leonard, I'm fine I just wanted a real shower." McCoy looked at her and Maddy attempted to give him her best puppy dog eyes. It didn't work.
"Is that why you're out of the sickbay? Does Chapel know? What if you had a relapse and got sick again? Wandering around the ship is damn foolish in your condition."
"But it's boring." Maddy felt like a little kid caught playing hooky from school.
"You could have hurt yourself." Maddy took a deep breath, this was McCoy, this was worried McCoy, she shouldn't take anything to heart. She did technically die for a bit, so he had a right to hover, still…
"Leonard, all I wanted was a shower and a change of clothes, don't blame Spock he's just always in the lift. He wasn't in on my jailbreak, and he couldn't help hearing my song of bras. Now," She took her arm out of his hand. "I'm going to use a real shower, or at least the best I can get in this time, and then I'll go back to the sickbay." She turned and began to hobble away, then turned back.
"Unless of course, you want to come with?" Kirk and Lia hurriedly got onto the lift, giggling, and the door slid closed behind them.
"That's one way to get her way."
-/-
"Oh, it's fine, Tonia, Tonia…" Tonia blearily opened her eyes to see Janice hovering over her. She gestured behind her.
"Mr. Hale is here to see you." Tonia hurriedly tried to sit up as her boss held out a hand.
"No please, don't strain yourself; I just wanted to bring these over." He set a small vase of daisies on her bedside table and straightened.
"Oh, thank you, I'm sorry I never reminded you about your board meeting." Her boss laughed lightly.
"Yes, I completely forgot about it, but don't worry about me, you just relax." Tonia looked at Robert and smiled lightly, warm brown eyes smiled back at her and she remembered what Maddy had told her about 'making a move'. Maybe not right now, she told herself, but she couldn't help but blush when he told her he missed her.
-/-
Maddy stared at the ceiling in her room, wide wake in the middle of the night. She wanted to get up and turn on the lights and try to find something to preoccupy her mind, but McCoy's arm was slung around her waist and she didn't want to wake him. So, instead of being able to distract herself Maddy was left thinking about what happened. She was left thinking about Barrows and Rand and everything they must have gone through. When she and Lia appeared in this world, they had McCoy and Kirk and Spock and Scotty to help them and to watch out for them. Barrows and Rand had no one. They had nothing and no one to help them or to depend on. While she was happily traveling around space the two of them had been struggling to survive.
She didn't even think about them very often! In the beginning she did, but as time passed she thought about them less and less and now she was sickened by herself. How could she have done this? Why hadn't she cared about it before now? Was she really that selfish? Tears threatened to spill down her face and she tried to stop herself from crying. She failed. The tears started falling and as quietly as possible she removed McCoy's arm from around her and slipped into the bathroom. She ran the water and washed her face trying to make the tears disappear. She slumped against the wall and ran her hands through her hair. Her leg hurt and her body shook as she tried not to make any noise as she cried.
"Madeline?" Great, apparently she wasn't quiet enough. She rubbed her eyes, hoping to wipe away any hint of tears before McCoy turned on the lights. She wasn't fast enough. The lights flickered on and McCoy caught sight of the tear stains on Maddy's cheeks. He kneeled down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. They sat quietly for some time. Maddy relaxed and leaned her head against McCoy's shoulder, her tears finally abated.
"Madeline?"
"I ruined their lives." McCoy's grip around her tightened, he pressed his lips against her head before whispering in her ear.
"You didn't ruin anyone's lives."
"Yes I did!" Maddy snapped. "I ruined their lives! And I didn't even care! I ruined Barrow's life and Rand's and I probably ruined Lia's too. It was my idea to go to San Francisco and my idea to stay around the Golden Gate Bridge even after it started raining, and once we were here I was so happy I didn't even care about anyone else. I was so so happy and I don't deserve to be." Maddy had started crying again. "It was just a game to me! Just one stupid happy game that I was so excited about. I was so happy. I was happy to be with you I was happy to be away from my mundane life. I was so happy that I just didn't care about anything else.
"It's all my fault. Barrows and Rand don't have anybody back home, at least I have you, but they don't have anyone or anything, and I ruined their lives. I got my wish and sentenced two people to exile in the process. They don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be here. No one deserves what the two of them have gone through and I just keep ruining people's lives."
"And what are you going to do about it?"
"Sorry?" He took her by the shoulders.
"You can't go back, they can't come back, so what are you going to do? Just sit here and be miserable? That doesn't help anybody. All you can do now is live, and that's all they can do too. You can't do anything about it, not a thing. It's useless to cry about it now; you would do them wrong by condemning yourself." Maddy sniffled but said nothing. She still blamed herself, but what he said made sense.
"I…..guess." He sighed, sensing she wasn't convinced.
"Come on, you won't deny an old man his sleep, will you?" She lightly hit his arm.
"You're not old."
"And you're not at fault." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.
"Thank you." She smiled at him. "Now come on, I need my sleep too. I am older than you, after all." He laughed and led her back to bed, shaking his head.