Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or the characters described within.

He wasn't gone.

Oh, everyone assumed that he was- that whole "learn the final secret and finally defeat the manslayer within" spiel had pretty much convinced them of that, and Kenshin didn't bother to correct them- they were happier this way.

Battousai wasn't gone, he would never be gone. That was like saying that you could erase the past- saying that the long years of war didn't happen, that he hadn't walked through "the forests of swords and rains of bullets" (a silly way Tani had described the war, the politician trying, as ever to put into words a horror to primal for speech) of the revolution. He had. Kenshin Himura was Battousai, and that would never go away… neither would the amber-eyed killing rage within.

Obtaining the secret technique had been more about getting the power to avoid killing than suppressing the urge to do so- if anyone had bothered to notice (which the Rurouni didn't think they had, too wrapped up in the seeming-stranger with amber eyes and chill words) the "Battousai" only really cropped up when he felt that he could not defeat his opponent without killing them.

Jineh's life had spelled Kaoru's death.

Saitou had been a formidable enemy ten years gone- still was, he deserved a true fight.

Cho had threatened Iori, normally a small problem, even (he shuddered) an everyday problem.

But his sword had been broken, and he had seen no other way.

He knew the secret now, and understood that the power it held was such that virtually any opponent was now within his power to defeat without staining his hands further- after all, he had knocked his shishou unconscious, and he'd never heard of anybody doing that before.

The Battousai was on a little bit of a shorter tether now, and seemed content to be so- a few trips out to a secluded bamboo grove every now and again allowed him to loose those binds, breathe in the rage, and breathe it out once more. He was skilled at holding his anger- he'd had to be, these ten long years, and hopefully the compromise would prevent any tell-tale changes in eye color. He wasn't looking to frighten his family, after all.

But Battousai wasn't gone, and on some bizarre level, the thought didn't bother Kenshin at all.

A.N.- This has been niggling at me for a while. As a kid, watching Kenshin, Battousai was the scariest thing ever, I totally bought into the theory that if Kenshin killed someone as Battousai, he'd leave and never come back- and that would be HORRIBLE. I'm older now, and Battousai is pretty much the coolest character in the show, so it bugs me how he just got… written off. Because that's silly as a rurouni smile. You can't get rid of the past, and in the manga Kenshin implies that the routines he does in the bamboo grove are an exercise to keep the manslayer within dormant.

But perhaps the most telling of all- During Enishi's Jinchuu revenge on the Kamiya Dojo, Kaoru is targeted by Yatsume Mumyoi (the long-armed guy who looks like Venom) and Kenshin rushes to save her- at this point, the long armed man says something that I have never forgotten-

"As always, Battousai, when a woman is involved, even the color of your eyes change."

Battousai. Is. Not. Gone.