'Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the ship

Not a motor was running

Not even a chip

The Enterprise was docked

At a Starbase with care

And poor Chekov hoped

That St. Nick would be there

The crew was all nestled

All snug in their beds

While thoughts of "He's NOT real"

Went through Pavel's head

The Captain laughed at him

And Spock raised a brow

McCoy said "You're seventeen

"Time to grow up, now"

When out on the bridge

There rose such a clatter

He sprang from his bed

To see what was the matter

Could it be Romulans?

He thought as he paused

Or Klingons or Tribbles?

Or maybe-Santa Claus?

The stars in the sky

Had more twinkle tonight

As though were preparing

To guide a sleigh flight

When what to those wandering

Brown eyes should appear?

But a ancient sleigh

And eight extinct reindeer!

With an oddly-suited captain

So lively and quick

He knew, on the view screen,

He's seeing St. Nick!

More rapid than warp speed

His coursers, they came

And he whistled and shouted

And called them by name

"Now Dasher, Now Dancer!

Now, Prancer and Vixen!"

"On Comet, On Cupid!"

"On Donner and Blitzen!"

"To the shuttle bay now!

To go park on the ship's bay

Dash away, Dash away

Oh, fly, fly away

He woke up his best friend,

The Captain, and Scott

The engineer said

"What pow'r that ship's got!"

So up on the ship's hull

The coursers they flew

With a sleigh full of units

And St. Nicholas, too

"To yellow alert!"

Kirk said with a yell

But Spock came and said

"Why are there sleigh bells?"

Chekov ran to the bay

His heart full of glee

Always he had known

That Santa, he'd see

He was dressed in red fur

(It was illegal now)

With fur of old rabbits

And shoes made from cows

A bundle of space toys

New lasers, space dolls

Rock candy with sugar,

And real alcohol

His eyes had stars in them

like whole constellations

His nose like a cherry

He looked at the crew's faces

He drew from his sack

A gift for everyone

A new book for Spock

A ring for Uhura

Some Scotch was for Scotty

Joke book for McCoy

And Sulu got seeds

To grow a Bleegroy

He said with a sigh

"Pavel, I've nothing for you"

"I wish I had something

To make you squeal till you're blue"

With a big Russian smile

He gave his reply

"Eet ees ok,

"I feel great eenside"

"I brought Christmas spirit

To a crew who asked "vhy?"

Our hearts are vith joy

So, fly safe tonight"

And they heard him exclaim

As he warped out of sight

"Live long and prosper

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"