Master Chief

A Stasis Pod

The Rear End of Dawn

Deep Space

CH2 6NH

07/06/2554

Dear Chatroulette,

Now, trapped as I am in a stasis pod in deep space I only use your service to meet interesting and like minded people. Chatroulette was recommenced by Private Johnson who made many such friends over your system so being the pillar of the community that I am I thought it only prudent to check it out.

Now I know some foul minded people (those grunts need to get some pants, just saying) might use your wonderfully innocent system of making friends in new places to... well make friends in new places. But I'm not that kind of guy. If I've encountered some in my thousands of years lost in deep space on Chatroulette, well that's a price I've had to pay.

UNTIL NOW

Chatroulette the same people are starting to show up time and time again. And its the creepy ones, what happened to the hot halo fan girls happy to see 'chief'? I can't take it anymore. The worst one is that 'prophet of truth' dude. He's EVERYWHERE, I can't disconnect fast enough. It's not my fault! My reaction times just haven't been the same since I was frozen in deep stasis. If the mouse is underneath my munchies it could take me as long as two minutes to dig it out. That guy can do a LOT in two minutes. He sits there butt naked except for that purple duvet cover he uses as a cape and a burger king paper crown. I've not been able to eat a whopper in weeks, or milkshake come to think of it.

And can that guy monologue. Luckily my speakers stopped working a few days ago when they had a tragic accident involving my fist or his incessant whining would driven me mad by now.

Chatroulette, for the good of us fighting men everywhere please sort it out, or face the same fate as my speakers.

Yours sincerely

Master chief Petty Officer John 117