Truth? He doesn't remember that first slushy. He wishes he did. Wishes he could say why it had happened. Had she angered him? Had he been dared? Was his reputation as a badass threatened? He's wondered all those things and he doesn't know. He can't remember that first one (there were many, so many). So he doesn't know the impetus and as such he doesn't know why he kept throwing them.

He's been thinking about it for a long time. Really, ever since he noticed that she liked grape. When he meets her (when he joins Glee and gets to see the girl instead of the label), he can't help but be intrigued. She, crazily, believes in him. His best. . .ex-best friend doesn't have a problem believing the worst about him. But she wants to hear his side, she gets that two people were involved, that he didn't just rape Quinn and make Beth all on his own. Maybe it's because she dislikes Quinn so much, that she's willing to believe it was a mutual discretion . . . or maybe it's why she calls him Noah.

Whereas the people who've known him for years, they never realized that the boy who throws people in dumpsters appeared only after his father left, that's when he insisted that everyone call him, Puck (His father's father was Noah, and he'd been a good man). Nobody questions why someone so nice and naïve and . . . innocent would be friends with someone like him (no one now would call him naïve and never innocent, that ship sailed long ago. . .he thinks her name started with an A or an R or. . .okay, he doesn't really know).

He wonders though, because did he do this? Did he place her on the bottom of the totem pole for the high school elite (and even the likes of Kurt and Mercedes)? He's done a lot of things (and people) that he regrets, but this might be top of his list. Because she's a nice person, forgiving. She gave numerous chances to Finn, and believed the best of Jesse. The thing that ties them all together though is that they hurt her and left (Shelby belongs on the same list, maybe he does too).

She was gone a week, and nobody noticed(He had). Nobody tried to contact her. Then. . .her father's came home when she didn't answer their call to inform her they would be gone for another month (added to the four they'd already been gone. He thought she had a great home life, with parents who cared and loved her).They found her on her bed, she'd been dead since Wednesday.(They'd-he'd- had two days to save her.) She taken pills a lot of them and a great variety of them, her letter said she didn't want to leave a mess for them to clean up. This way it was clean and quick and easily forgotten. Who could ever forget? Forget about the girl with the dark eyes, that were haunted (if they'd ever cared to look close enough), despite the smiles she tried so hard to maintain. They'd also never seen the scars from where she cut herself every time she was reminded she wasn't good enough (she was so much better than them all). Her dreams, her talent, her voice (that could always be heard) was silenced all because of them. Because of him. He had done this.