This can barely be considered a one-shot. It's more like a long drabble-type thing. Anyways, this is just a really random Seddie thing I came up with the other night.

Happy reading?

Mud

Every boyfriend I've ever had has had something romantic to say about my eyes.

It's sickeningly sweet and cheesy to say the least, and I usually end up groaning in return. They would understandably get annoyed by my response, but the awkward tension would pass over unnoticed. This whole thing would be different if their little statement about my eyes would be a little less cliché and change up every once in a while, but it's always the same.

"Samantha, you're eyes… they're oh so beautiful, like two little oceans staring back at me."

Some variation of that statement has been said to me at least three times already. Jonah let it slip when we were at the movies once, Frankie said it before he "fell" out of that tree, and the last guy whose name I can't even remember wrote it on a box of bacon he sent to my house.

I stretched my arms from the curled up position I once fashioned on a bean bag in the iCarly studio, unintentionally nudging Freddie whom held a similar pose mere feet from me. He groaned, wiping his eyes as he too began to awaken while I watched him in fascination.

"Sam?" He yawned, scratching his head.

I smirked, "Mornin', Fredhead."

He groaned playfully, waking up instantly, "I thought you were going to stop with the nicknames after our two week anniversary thing?"

"Momma never stops," I stated honestly with a shrug.

"Of course not," He rolled his eyes, "Why would I even expect that?"

I grinned, "Exactly."

He raised an eyebrow at me before shaking his head, "So… did we fall asleep here after the movie?"

"I guess so," I sighed, looking around at the now bright and shining room, "But weren't Carly and Gibby here last night too?"

"They probably left because we were making them uncomfortable," Freddie laughed, maneuvering his hand into mine and allowing our fingers to intertwine, "It's not like we were being quiet or anything."

"That Twilight movie bored me, dude. What was I supposed to do? Stay quiet throughout the entire vampire massacre? We should have watched Underworld... or that Daybreakers movie. You know, so we could see some real vampires in action. Not glittering ones with feelings."

Freddie laughed, "You didn't have to crack jokes at every scene, you know."

"You laughed at them," I smiled, gazing up at him proudly, "It's not like I made bad jokes or anything."

"Right," It looked like he was choking or something suddenly, and his face got increasingly pale.

I frowned, "You okay, Fredbag? You're starting to look like that Edward guy. I'm not dating a sparkly vampire, just so you know."

He chuckled lightly, looking away from me momentarily, "I'm fine, and not a total necrophiliac. It's just… your eyes are like, really beautiful."

Oh, Lord… here we go…

"Beautiful?" I dared to question, fearing his explanation.

He nodded, his own eyes wide, "Well… yeah. They're probably the most amazing blue I've ever seen. It's like there are two little oceans staring back at me right now. They're just so… stunning, Sam."

I rolled my eyes dramatically, "You're chizzing me…"

"What?" He recoiled slightly, his facial expression becoming relatively normal.

I shook my head, remembering I really liked Freddie, "Nothing. You were saying?"

"Well," Freddie swallowed, "What do you think of my eyes, Sam?"

I had to stifle my laughter. Freddie was definitely a different kind of boyfriend, at least for me. Most of our conversations stemmed from the odd questions he tended to ask me, and this one is definitely taking the cake. How do I answer a question like that? Every time I see his eyes I think of Hershey's kisses, but that sounds masochistic and wrong considering how much I would enjoy gouging his eyes out if they were actually chocolate, and eating them happily while he screams and cries about being blind. That sounds absolutely terrible, and I have a feeling Freddie wouldn't appreciate the loss of his chocolaty eyes to my grumbling stomach.

After giving it much thought, looking deep into those brown eyes that seemed willing to let me lose myself in them, I finally came up with something.

"Dirt." I stated simply, giving him a light smirk as I watched his expression change from curiosity to disdain.

"Dirt? My eyes look like… dirt?" He frowned, his eyebrows rising while I stifled laughter once again.

I nodded, "Yep, your eyes are brown like dirt… and gravy, but that's a different completely different hot dog."

"Sam!" He finally exclaimed, "I pour my heart out to you about how gorgeous I think your eyes are, and you say mine look like dirt?"

I shrugged, "Sentimental chizz sickens me, dude."

"How would you feel if I said your eyes look like… like water?" He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and scooting away from me.

I laughed, nudging his shoulder lightly, "Why would I care? It's just a stupid simile anyways, Freddirt."

"You would make up a new nickname…"

"That's the Sam-way." I grinned, leaning my head on his shoulder, "Come on, Freddie-bear. Don't get all mad and chizz at me. I prefer saying your eyes look like dirt than chocolate anyways…"

"You think they look like chocolate?" He perked up a little.

I giggled, "Well… a little. But that's way too cheesy and cliché for our relationship. So, we're stickin' with dirt and water."

He scoffed, "Wow… dirt and water. That's such an appealing couple."

"It really is." I stated seriously.

"How is that? Dirt and water make… mud. You're trying to tell me that we make mud by being together." He sighed in exasperation, rolling his eyes.

I shrugged, "Well, mud is a whole lot better than the alternative."

"Alternative?"

"Yeah. You know, what we really think of each others' eyes." I replied quickly, "Ocean water and chocolate."

Freddie shook his head, "Mud is better than ocean water and chocolate?"

"No, you have to put ocean water and chocolate together." I smirked, pinching his cheeks, "Come on, Freddie-kins… you're smarter than this."

He pushed my hand away with a grumble, "What is ocean water and chocolate put together, Sam?"

I thought on it for a second, before snapping my fingers at the realization, "A salty chocolate bar."

"Mud is better than that?"

I laughed, "Look, I'll take mud over a salty chocolate bar any day. That just sounds nas-tay."

He rolled his eyes again, "Says the girl who eats bacon flavored ice cream…"

"I'm serious," I snapped quickly, "Besides, you can make mud pies out of mud… or drive a truck through a gigantic puddle of it and splash it all over the place."

"Whatever, Sam…" He sighed, shaking his head in disbelief as he finally gave up completely on our 'argument'.

I frowned, sitting up as a delicious thought entering my brain immediately, "Does Carly have any of that?"

"Mud?"

I laughed, shaking my head before staring off into the distance dreamily, "No, Freduardo. Bacon flavored ice cream…"

It happened. I totally wrote something that is not depressing and/or sad. I'm so proud. :)

Hopefully that wasn't too stupid and random for you. I wrote it in less than half-an-hour last night, so there are probably random errors scattered throughout. I got the general idea for this from an old saying my ex-boyfriend and I made up, and then the rest of the idea came from the over-usage of Freddie having "chocolaty brown eyes" and Sam having "oceanic blue eyes". Don't feel bad fanfic writers, I use these similes all the time as well. I just wanted to write a quick drabble-type thing to make fun of myself because I was bored and in need of something lighthearted to write.

Review? Maybe? Pleez? :D

Not beggin', just askin'!