[A/N] Okay, in celebration of voting opening for the Veritas Award (for which Broken Bow 2 and 3 were nominated) I've decided to release early the betas for chapters one and two, which have been made possible thanks to the miracle that is Shrrgnien, all kudos to her for this. So without further ado let's proceed, shall we?

A Boy Called Artemis

Chapter 1: Awakenings

I tumbled out of the elevator and fell flat onto the marble floor. I glanced drearily up at the strange, almost middle-age decor of the corridor I was now in. A wooden desk sat near the elevator, both of them starkly out of place in their surroundings.

W-where? How did I-?

I pulled myself confusedly to my feet, staggering slightly as I looked around.

"Where on Earth..."

"Now, where did you come from?" I felt a jolt of mixed shock and faint repulsion at the sultry voice, and swung about to find an eerily beautiful woman with odd violet eyes regarding me from beside the desk, her hand twirling idly through her mahogany hair. She smiled sweetly and I couldn't help but notice that she seemed to be sniffing subtly in my direction.

Strange...Where did she pop up from? Wait, she asked a question, best answer...

I blinked and glanced back at the elevator. "I uh... I think I-"

"Let me guess; wandered off from the tour group, did you?" she interrupted with a sigh, resting her hands on her hips.

Works for me.

I nodded. "Tour group, right, gone a-wandering."

She approached me and entwined her arm around mine. "Why don't you come with me? I'm sure we can catch up to the others." She then began marching down the corridor, effectively dragging me along with her.

I frowned curiously as I regarded the woman. A small spark of recognition went through me. "Have we met?"

I seemed to give her pause, as her pale brow twitched momentarily into a frown. She glanced at me out the corner of her eye. Her smile immediately returned. "I don't think so."

Then why do I get the sinking feeling I've seen something like this before?

A moment later we reached a large pair of wooden doors. A crest was emblazoned on the wall: a coat of arms over a large V.

Her grip intensified as she threw the doors open.

Another jolt of adrenaline surged at the sight before me.

Bodies, everywhere...

Spread out across the marble floor were the corpses of what appeared to be nearly two dozen tourists of differing age and gender: men, women and even young children. Multiple pale-faced figures were standing by with looks of immense satisfaction on their faces.

What...is this?

My stunned gaze was suddenly drawn to the back of the room. Three equally pale figures were settling themselves into a trio of ornate chairs. The central one suddenly met my gaze. "Problem, Heidi?" he enquired vacantly in a British accent that carried easily across the room despite how disinterested he sounded.

The grip on my arm tightened. "We have a straggler, sir," She said carelessly. With fluid grace, she shoved me forwards and onto my knees in the middle of the floor.

The man dabbed a trail of blood off his lip with a silk handkerchief, and then sighed tiredly. "Then why don't you eat him and have done with it?"

"I had my fill; I thought I'd offer him to you first, Lord Aro, he smells quite delightful."

Wait a tic...Aro?

My eyes flicked about at the pale faces regarding me in an all-over unpleasant manner.

"Have we met?" I found myself asking for the second time in as many moments, this time of the pale figure in the centre chair.

"I sincerely doubt it." The man responded dryly, seeming almost amused.

I glanced at the two other figures, then all around me. A large man with equally pale features as the rest stood at the base of the steps, on top of which stood the chairs. To the side were two children, a dark haired boy and petit blonde girl.

Funny, it almost looks like a scene from...

Adrenaline again...Followed by the biggest sensation of sinking dread I'd ever imagined possible, like, hypothetically, the kind you would experience if you'd just realised you may have fallen into the lowest level of hell itself.

"Oh gods, it can't be...No...No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." I stammered, shaking my head and scrambling back on the marble floor in abject terror.

He smiled at my reaction. "Now, that's more like it. I've quite had my fill also; if anyone could use some dessert you're more than welcome."

"You..." I breathed, "You're..."

Aro frowned. "Yes?"

"I know you!"

"No...You don't."

"Yeah...You're...you're the creepy British guy," I said, pointing a finger at him.

"The what?"

The finger shifted left. "And the creepy old guy..." Said man glowered. The digit then moved to the right throne. "Creepy Blonde Guy..." I carried on. "Creepy Big Guy, Creepy Emo Boy, and-"

The blonde I was about to identify as 'Creepy Sadist Girl' butted in, her voice flat. "Creepy? Yes, we've established that you find us creepy."

"But you can't be...You're...You're the...the potpourri!"

"Volturi," The girl corrected with a hiss.

I cocked my head. "Close enough... To be honest, I was just hoping that the Village People had taken a decidedly gothic turn. Hey, big guy, lift your arms up and do a Y." I said, mimicking the motion.

He stared stonily back in response. "What, no, nothing?" I said with a sigh, realising there really was little hope of tricking the Volturi into doing the YMCA.

The blonde glanced at Aro. "Master, can I eat him now?"

He rubbed his brow. "Please...And make it quick, preferably before he opens his mouth again."

A twisted smile spread across her white features. "Does screaming count?"

The man smiled slightly back in response. "Jane, dear one...You know it doesn't."

She gave an absolutely adorable smile, then turned her red eyes back to me and held my gaze for a moment.

Silence.

Another moment passed.

I frowned, and so did she. "Umm, I'm all for staring contests, but I should warn you, I'm very good at them."

"Interesting..." The man's voice suddenly spoke up, disinterest giving way to intrigue. "Jane, either you are losing your touch, or this boy is... different."

She snarled indignantly. "I swear, Master, it must be-"

He interrupted. "Yes, yes, but we can find out later. You've just fed, so I would ask you to use some restraint; we will explore this issue...afterwards."

It took a second for it to dawn on me just what Creepy British Guy was implying. I leapt back from arm's length of the blonde with a cry of, "Oh, no. No way in Hades am I being a sodding sparkling vampire!"

Jane took a step forward. "Well, if you're lucky, I might just get excited enough to drain you dry."

"Do you have to smile when you say that?" I asked, backing up in time with her. "Wait a sec, so you're saying your cute little psychic pain power doesn't work on me?"

She paused and the smile melted from her face.

Normally my instinct would keep me quiet in these situations, just in case I went too far, but it was oddly silent, so it couldn't voice any concern over the fact that I had started humming 'Can't Touch Me' just loud enough for Jane to hear.

The little dance I was doing probably didn't help either.

It was obviously a bit too much for her temper to contain, as she crouched to pounce on me.

I can't believe I'm being forced to help out on this one, but escape route at three o'clock.

My instinct was being reluctant? That was odd; normally I couldn't get it to shut up.

I didn't pause to question as I shot off in the direction indicated. I knocked Heidi aside with great difficulty, her stony stance making me stagger as I bolted out the door and down the corridor.

I was running as fast as my legs could carry me.

You are aware this is entirely pointless?

What?

Honestly...if we didn't need the adrenaline so much, I'd be laughing at you right now.

I ignored my uncharacteristically unhelpful instinct as a dark blur shot past me. With a flutter of black robes, Jane skidded to a halt on the marble in front of me, her teeth bared.

"Ahh, cripes..." I yelped, did a sharp right turn down another corridor, and began hurling doors open in my path. I heard the sounds of breaking wood as my pursuer smashed through them a second later.

When I glanced back, she was hot on my heels. "Oh come on!" I cried, and began hurling anything in my path backwards at the small vampire girl.

I heard an indignant cry as the priceless Ming flower vase I had torn from its pedestal crashed into my pale-faced pursuer. I used her moment of disorientation to duck down a side corridor and into a small room. I closed the door behind me and staggered into the centre.

I leaned forward, gasping for air, and took in my surroundings.

It was a small, stone, octagonal room. Its yellow stone walls were bare, with the exception of a single high window letting in a shaft of sunlight.

As I stood up, the silence was broken by a subtle drip, drip, drip.

I groaned. "You're standing right behind me, aren't you?"

"Correct." Her usual monotone had been replaced by blistering fury.

I heaved a sigh and turned about, and of course, blocking the wooden doorway, stood Jane. She was smiling, but her amusement didn't seem to reach her eyes. I had to assume this was in part due to the fact that she was dripping wet and had several flower petals stuck on her robes and in her hair.

"I suppose we should exchange pre-fight pleasantries and-"

Jane obviously wasn't in a playful mood, as she cut me off with a lightning fast lunge.

"Hey!"

"Yes?" She enquired as she moved with such a blur I could barely keep up, each time lurching in to try and get at my neck.

"Don't you know..." I began, dodging the blows she began hurling, "...that it's rude..." I continued, pausing to backflip myself off the rear wall and thrust myself forwards over Jane's head, "...to interrupt someone...whilst posturing?" I punched her as hard as I could in the small of her back.

In retrospect, this wasn't the wisest move.

"OW! Oh, sweet Hades, I hate you guys..."

She paused for a moment to revel in my pain as I cradled my wrist (which was most likely sprained) and then swung her arm. The blow sent me hurtling back and crashing into the wooden door, which cracked under the force of the impact.

I should've dodged that...

I suddenly realised that my reflexes weren't just dulled; they weren't there at all.

I'm not reducing myself to helping you fight fictional characters!

I spun onto my feet as the diminutive figure tried to punch a hole in my chest.

I weaved around her and staggered back out of reach again.

She turned slowly, her red eyes burning into my own.

And now I'm cornered...spiffing. Well, I'd best make her mad enough to totally do me in. It's better than the alternative...

"Tell me, you marble-faced midget..." I began with an annoyed snarl.

She seemed amused now that she had me backed into a corner, like a cat toying with a mouse. "Yes?"

"What's worse: being classed as a reject by a village full of people so dumb they couldn't even burn two kids alive correctly, or being so pathetic that you can't even get your mojo working against a single teen as shallow and pathetic as young Miss Swan?"

Her eyes went wide and she froze dead. After a second she seemed to begin shaking as her eyes filled with unbelievable rage. "How...Do you know about that?" she whispered.

"Know about what, porcelain face?" I asked with a smile.

She shook her head and began advancing slowly."I am going to enjoy this...I'm sure you will give me the answers after your change is complete. Oh, I am going to savour watching my venom work on you..."

She stepped into the shaft of light, and her skin began to glitter (or sparkle like a thousand diamonds, as some might put it.) For some reason, I chose that moment to really snap. "Gods, you're pathetic!"

She stopped again. "What?"

"Look at yourself: glittering like a smarmy, pubescent disco ball! If you had any self-respect you'd burst into flames right this instant, young lady! I bet if I offered you a mirror, shoved some garlic in your mouth, and doused you with holy water, you'd just admire your reflection, swirl some mouthwash and ask for a towel! And if you think even for a second that I have any intention of spending an eternity serving Dracula's camp cousin through there, I'm afraid you're in for a big disappointment!"

I gasped for air. It had, after all, been a very long-winded rant.

Jane simply tapped her foot and raised a single slim eyebrow. "Finished?"

I cocked my head. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Good."

She didn't dignify my outburst any further. With a sudden burst of impossible speed that made me realize she had been toying with me before, she leapt right at me, wrapped her legs around my upper torso and pinned me violently against the floor.

Before I could even react, she had tangled the fingers of one hand through my hair and grabbed my chin in the other. Time seemed to slow as she tilted my head ever so slightly to the side, her eyes glistening with undisguised thirst as she leaned in.

She held me there for a second, giving me just enough time to realise what was going to happen and then accept how powerless I was to stop her.

I would've stopped to admire the true depths of her sadism had she not lunged forward and sunk her razor-sharp teeth deep into my unprotected throat.

-Ω-

"Ah!" I woke up with a gasp, sitting bolt upright. My hand immediately went to my neck. Adrenaline surged through me as my fingers reassured me that I wasn't now an immortal, inhuman being...at least, no more than I normally was.

I glanced about. I appeared to be in some kind of hospital clinic, and I was currently resting on the only bed in the room.

A man in a white coat was standing with his back to me whilst washing his hands. "Awake, are you? We were beginning to think we'd lost you. That was quite a tumble you took."

I rubbed my head. "W-what? Where am I?"

He pulled a paper towel free and began drying his hands. "It's all right; you're in a hospital."

"A hospital where? And...who are you?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head in confusion.

At that, the pale man turned around. There was a compassionate smile on his face. "Of course. You're in Forks, Washington. My name is Doctor Cullen."

-Ω-

This time I woke up screaming.

I rolled over and fell clear off the bed I was laying on, crashing to the white floor with a painful thud.

"Gods, that was terrifying!" I gasped with a hand clasped over my chest as my heard thudded audibly in my ears. I actually savoured the pain, as it was a clear sign that I was no longer trapped in the Tartarus of that dream.

So...Finally awake, are you?

I ignored my instinct and pulled off two suction-cup-like objects that had been attached to my eyelids. Each had been partially pulled free when I fell off the bed.

"What's this?" I murmured as I examined the cups. The underside of both was rough, as if coated with millions of tiny bristles. I sniffed it curiously; the scent was both strange and sweet, and immediately made me feel woozy.

A sedative?

I guess that explained the intensity of my nightmares. It would take a huge surge of adrenaline to force me back to consciousness through something like that.

"But seriously. The T-word? That was a little much, wasn't it?" I mumbled as I began pulling myself up on shaky feet.

You're welcome.

I decided it was about time to take stock of the situation, when suddenly one fact that had been staring me in the face suddenly came to light.

"I'm alive..." I whispered. This fact stunned me to silence for a moment. The last thing I had known was fading into oblivion with my mother looking on in despair.

"So... I survived?" I pondered out loud. "Huh... love it when that happens." I smiled and began surveying my surroundings.

I suddenly had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming when I saw where I was.

It appeared to be another hospital room, only this one looked like it had been pulled straight from an episode of Star Trek; there were several strange looking hospital beds that looked to be made for people of children's proportions. Flat monitors covered in strange symbols covered one wall. One seemed to have been displaying my own vitals, as it was now showing a series of flat lines. I sat on the bed and, indeed, my pulse began to register on the screen.

Definitely a medical facility of some kind...

The door was small too, less than five and a half feet in height. Built into the doorframe was what appeared to be a control panel with several readers. One seemed to be for a palm and another, if I had to guess, looked to be some kind of retina scanner.

I mashed the large button at the base of the control panel. The display flashed an objection in red alien writing in response.

Don't need a translator to know a locked door when I see one...

Hotwiring and lock picking skills wouldn't help me here. This was way beyond anything I'd ever seen before. There was also the fact that my head was still cloudy from the sedative. Plus I was so thirsty it bordered on unbearable.

Oh well, only one thing for it then.

I nudged the door gently with my shoulder. It seemed to be hermetically sealed, but didn't appear to be too strongly reinforced, and was made of some kind of lightweight alloy.

Obviously not intended as a prison, then.

I pondered this as I stepped to the back of the room and tilted my shoulder towards the door. I took several breathes to focus myself. A welcome silver glow from my skin greeted me as I prepared to strike.

I charged forwards and shoulder-barged the door with enough force to knock over a baby elephant.

Obviously, the architects hadn't designed their doors with demigods in mind...

-Ω-

Commander Kelp had commandeered the hospital manager's office –despite said manager's heartfelt objection—for Artemis and the other visitors.

Artemis himself was now in the process of poring over some of the scans of the newcomer taken by the fairies' best medical equipment, and was now greatly intrigued by what he saw. What had began as a disappointing outcome was quickly turning into a very curious mystery.

When the crack had appeared in the sky, and the People's best warlocks had identified it as a breach in the walls of reality, they had assumed that the most likely cause was the demons of Hybras. The demons had once been trapped in Limbo, along with their entire island, until Artemis and his friends had shifted the entire island back into real space. However, a good portion of the island's population had disappeared into oblivion as the space that housed the island began collapsing. So when this great crack in the sky appeared, they had simply assumed it to be some of the lost demons returning. It would've been a time-delayed return, to be sure, but they could think of no other explanation at the time.

Holly Short had recruited Artemis' assistance at the behest of the council, should his special talents be needed in the long run. Artemis, being Artemis, had obliged happily, if only to satisfy his curiosity.

Then the breach had begun closing as quickly as it appeared. Nothing had come through; no demons, no matter, not a thing. Disappointed, and hoping some of his lost kind might just need more time, the powerful warlock known simply as Nº1 had used his powers to hold open the breach on this end just a bit longer.

And that was when it got interesting.

As Nº1 channelled his magic through the breach, he had cried happily that he had found something latched onto the other end of the rip. An instant later, with a flash of pink light, a single form was ejected from the small remaining opening and sent hurtling down through the air, drawn like a magnet to the small warlock. The imp had dodged just as the flying boy was about to hit him. Artemis Fowl, on the other hand, who just so happened to have been standing directly behind him, wasn't so quick on his toes, and instead found himself turned into an impromptu landing mat for the unconscious child.

The LEP were reluctant to release the boy to the Mud People's (more commonly referred to as humans') care, as they didn't know where he came from or indeed what he was. However, neither did they want to risk causing chaos by bringing a human into Haven. And so, since no real agreement could be reached, Artemis had recommended the happy medium that was Atlantis' hospital craft. It was mobile enough to keep the newcomer away from faerie cities, but would also put him in a position where the People could keep watch over him until they were sure he wasn't a threat to the world at large. Commander Trouble Kelp had reluctantly agreed and had them all transported to the ship, along with an entire squadron of LEP security officers.

Artemis had believed this all to be a bit much, especially when initial genetic scans had revealed nothing out of the ordinary and that the boy seemed to be in perfect health.

And that was where the flag was raised; the boy wasn't just healthy, he was perfectly healthy.

And this lead Artemis to where he was now, staring at a heavily magnified scan of the boy's cellular structure, which upon closer inspection was most certainly out of the ordinary. This was highlighted further when they had first taken him into a dimmed hospital room and noticed the subtle silver-white glow coming off his skin.

"That's impossible..." he muttered as he watched the interaction of the cells on screen as Butler re-entered carrying some beverages on a tray. He set them down on the table by his charge and began pouring. He placed one mug down by Artemis, "Thank you, Butler." He muttered offhandedly, absently sipping the drink.

Holly Short's elfin hearing had easily picked up the boy's quiet words. "'Impossible?' Is the great Artemis Fowl admitting he's stumped?" she prodded, accepting a drink from the bodyguard, who then gave one to the other occupant of the room; his younger sister, Juliet, who was currently leaning against the Plexiglas window and observing the deep sea creatures that fluttered about outside.

Artemis glanced at Holly irritably for a second, then went back to his screen. "Hardly. But if you'd like to come and see for yourself, I'm sure even you will be able to see just how perplexing this really is."

The elf sighed and strolled over to the human's side to take a look at the plasma screen built into the desk that he was poring over.

She eyed the image of the two floating cells, frowned, and glanced up at her human friend. "And? What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?"

Artemis let out a tired sigh. "These are a pair of normal human skin cells. Same as me and –well, maybe not you—but you get the idea."

Holly inclined her head acceptingly in response. "Okay, so what's the problem?"

Artemis pointed to a small section of the cells. "These are mitochondria. You know what those are, don't you?"

Holly nodded. "The cell's power source, right? It keeps them going."

"Very good. Yes; they power the cells, giving them the necessary power to do their jobs. They facilitate cell division and everything else that's needed."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

He nodded, touched the screen, and the image slid to the side, revealing an almost identical pair. "And these are our friend's..."

Holly's eyes traced the screen, her brow screwing up. "Sorry, I don't see anything different."

Artemis nodded. "And you wouldn't. I didn't see anything either, at least not at first." He touched another control and the cells reappeared alongside each other. Below each image was a pair of jagged line graphs.

"Translation?" Holly enquired simply.

Artemis indicated the top line in the graph below the images. "These two graphs represent the average energy output of the cells. Now, you'll note that while our friend's may be somewhat higher, it's not too far into what one would call abnormal."

Holly nodded. "They do look pretty much the same. But what about the other two lines?" she asked, pointing to the other bar.

Artemis inclined his head, expecting the question. "Those are measuring the energy output from the cell's mitochondria alone."

Holly frowned. "But the one from the boy's, it's-"

"Flat." Artemis nodded. "I know."

"But that would mean-"

"Every single mitochondria in his body is dormant. They've simply stopped," Artemis finished.

Holly glanced between the two images. "Is that even possible?"

Artemis nodded. "Yes, very possible; if you're as dead as a stone, that is."

"But he's alive." Holly stated obviously.

"Oh, very much so."

"So, you're saying what's weird is that his cells are putting out the same amount of energy as the normal ones, even without a power source?"

He smiled in response. "Very good, Holly. Yes, normally only single-celled life forms can exist in such a state. But as you can see, our friend is a life form of the many-celled variety."

Holly ran a finger along the tip of her ear in thought. "So...His cells are working in a different way than a normal human's?"

Artemis shook his head. "No, they're running just as expected. It took a few moments to figure it out, but I worked it out all the same in the end."

"Worked what out? Look, Artemis, I'm no biologist, so make it quick. All this science stuff is making my head spin."

The boy rolled his mismatched eyes and punched another control on the screen. "Here; this is an overlay simulating the flow of energy in the normal cells." The image zoomed in and, indeed, there was a flow of yellow, like a bloodstream, coming out of the mitochondria, through the nucleus and around the cell.

"Yes, it's very pretty, Artemis. Now what's your point?"

He smirked. "This is." He punched another button and the image of the sleeping child's cells came up.

The difference was so striking it caused Holly to stifle a gasp. Butler, who had been listening with detached interest, leaned in for a peek.

"What...is this?" Holly breathed.

The cells looked the same, but the flow of energy was completely different. The patch that represented the mitochondria was greyed out, and instead the energy was flowing inwards from outside the cell and causing the functions to carry on as normal.

Artemis spoke up. "Every cell in his body is being powered externally."

Holly shook her head in confusion. "Externally? What does that mean, Artemis?"

He cocked his head and manipulated the controls again. "I've rigged up some LEP sensors that are normally used to detect rogue magic use. I adapted the filters slightly to pick up on the same kind of energy that's powering his cells. Now watch what happened when I overlaid the filter on the camera watching our slumbering friend..."

The recording of the sleeping child changed as a black film spread over it. Holly's eyes went wide at the sight that now lay before her.

Tendrils of energy were flowing seemingly out of every direction and gathering around the shape of the sleeping boy, who, with the filter on, looked like a humanoid mass of glowing white light.

"Wow..." Juliet poked in, leaning over Holly's head. "Freaky."

"Is it magic?" Butler asked.

Artemis inclined his head. "Or something very similar to it. I've only seen something like this when a fairy performs their power-restoring ritual and absorbs power from the earth itself. But the difference here is that the flow of energy is constant. It's as if he's absorbing some kind of natural energy from the surrounding air and using it as a source to power his body."

Holly glanced at Artemis. "You're right, that is impossible."

He shook his head. "That's just the beginning. Watch this." He clicked a button and the image of the two pairs of cells reappeared. "One of the normal cells is reaching the end of its lifecycle, and you all know what happens now, right?"

"Of course," Butler said.

"Don't lie, brother," Juliet chided gently, nudging her brother with an elbow.

The boy smiled. "Holly?"

She frowned in thought. "It divides, right?"

"Precisely; cellular mitosis." As he spoke, the cell split itself, a new one forming and the remaining fragment dying off. The image was then replaced with a pair of the child's cells. "Now, watch what happens here." The failing cell, as opposed to splitting off, was engulfed by the energy that fed it for a second, which then pulled away and solidified into a perfect copy of the original healthy cell as the original died off.

"What happened?" Holly asked.

"Cellular replication." Artemis replied simply. "As opposed to simply dividing as a means of reproducing, that force is creating perfect duplicates of the original cells."

"Is it really that important?" Butler spoke up, "His body operates a little differently, but you said it all works the same way, right?"

The child prodigy shook his head in response. "No, old friend, for you're missing out on one very important fact, pivotal actually."

"And that is?"

"Human cells have a preset number of times they can divide. You can only make a copy of a copy so many times before it fades. As cells lose their ability to divide, the person begins to ail and die. But it's not that way with him, because his cells have simply stopped dividing under their own power."

"You can't seriously be implying—"Holly interrupted as realisation dawned.

"His hair is growing, his skin cells flake off and die, but Holly...he's not ageing."

The elf shook her head. "Artemis, that's utterly impossible. The People can live for centuries, sustained by their magic, but even we haven't conquered that aspect of death."

Artemis inclined his head. "I realise that. But he has. Don't ask me how, because –and I very rarely use these three words together in a sentence—I don't know."

Juliet twirled a curl of her blonde hair, her expression blank. "Umm, Dom, what's Artemis talking about?"

Butler winced reflexively as his sister used the shortened version of his first name. "I think Artemis is saying that the kid has somehow jacked into some kind of fountain of youth."

"'Fountain of youth'?" Artemis echoed with a sigh and shook his head. "Well I suppose that's a slightly apt analogy. But there's more..."

Holly groaned. "More?"

He nodded. "This is what drew my earlier disbelief. I saw this." He clicked a button and suddenly a large batch of spiked green spheres appeared on the screen.

"What are those?" Juliet asked.

"They're cold germs, millions of them. They were on his left hand."

"How'd they get there?"

"You sneezed them there, Juliet, when you first picked him up."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Oh, don't be, else I would've missed this. Here, watch the playback. Those white blotches below the green orbs are simple skin cells that are about to be amassed upon by Juliet's army of germs."

"Hey!"

Artemis ignored the objection and they all watched as the germs settled on the skin cells. As they watched, the energy flow through the cells increased for a second and a wave of light spread out in every direction from the cell walls, utterly vaporising the attacking germs.

"Interesting, no?" Artemis asked with a small smile.

Holly eyed the screen, "What...happened?"

"That energy flow, the one sustaining his life, attacked the germs. It didn't fight them off or assimilate them as normal cells do, it physically destroyed them."

"So it's protecting him against germs too?" the elf enquired.

"Precisely, but it's not all germs and bacteria. The regular ones, like the positive bacteria that exist in the stomach, remain untouched. It's selective. This energy must also be what's causing that mild luminescence around his skin. There's something a little off about his DNA, also." He added this last part quietly, rubbing his chin in thought.

"What do you mean, off?" Holly asked

Artemis was eyeing a double helix of DNA on the screen. "It looks normal, just like everything else about him does on the surface. His chromosomes, his Y ones at least, and any others he'd get from his father, all check out, even down to the most basic level. But it's his X-chromosomes, and any other genetic information that's traditionally passed from the mother, that are a little strange."

Holly squinted at the genetic information as if she could make something of it. "Strange in what way, is it wrong?"

Artemis steepled his hands behind his head and blew out a breath, shaking his head. "No, that's just it; it's right. Perfect would be more accurate. The chromosomes couldn't be more correct if someone had sculpted them."

Holly shrugged. "So what's the problem?"

"Here, this is my DNA," Artemis said, punching a button and bringing up a new double helix. "In a genetic sense, quite ordinary; basic XY genes. Now the People can analyse DNA down to such a fundamental level you can see its basic energy form and how it reacts with the universe itself. You developed this technology as part of your fight against the Spelltropy plague, as you needed to see how tainted magic affected the victim's body." Artemis clicked a button several times and the image zoomed in until the picture was filled with swarming glowing blue speckles on a black background.

"Pretty," Juliet observed.

"Quite. These are my own X-chromosomes at their most fundamental level, in pure energy form, if you will."

"And I'm assuming our mystery guest's look a little different," Holly said.

Artemis smiled. "I wish I could tell you. Watch what happens when I try and view any of the genetic information from his mother's side on such a fundamental level." And at that he began clicking the zoom and enhance button. He got it up to the second level from highest and when he clicked it again data flowed across the screen. It buzzed and an angry red error message shot up, causing the screen to freeze.

Holly stared at the screen in disbelief. "What happened?"

Artemis cocked his head. "It crashed, obviously."

She gritted her teeth. "I can see that, genius. Why did it crash?"

"To put it simply, there was too much information."

"Too much?"

"Yes. At that basic, fundamental level, for some reason, his genetic information became what I can only describe as infinitely complex. The system simply couldn't comprehend it. But on the surface, they operate as normal, along with the rest of him. He is, on the surface at least, an overly healthy teenage boy."

"Is he dangerous?" Butler asked.

Artemis inclined his head. "I really can't say. I'd have to wake him up to find out."

Holly shook her head. "No way will Trouble okay something like that without getting him in a properly secure location first, especially after what you've stumbled over here, Artemis."

"Accepted."

Butler nodded at the frozen image of the boy. "Aren't they those Retimager devices you used on us once?" he said, indicating the suction cups attached to the tops of his eyes.

Holly glanced at the image. "Yes, Trouble found them on the shuttle and decided to use them to keep our friend under."

"Well, couldn't we just take a look at the things he's seen?"

Artemis frowned. "An excellent idea, old friend. The system will have taken a full retinal print automatically when Commander Kelp put them on our friend here, but the problem is that the human eye takes millions of images in its lifetime; we'd need some kind of search parameter."

Holly shrugged. "You could just run the standard human encounter scan. We use it on incapacitated humans to check if they've seen anything serious and if they're in need of mind-wiping."

"I suppose it couldn't hurt to take a look." Artemis said as he punched the command in and an LEP logo flared up on screen. "I'll need an access code to use the Retimager system. Shall we just use yours, Holly?"

"Alright, I'll just-" Holly moved for the keyboard, but Artemis was already punching in a user ID and password. He hit enter and the voice of Lili Frond, resident LEP bimbo, sounded from the speakers.

Why, good day, Captain Short. Welcome to the LEP uplink. How can I help you today?

Holly gave an indignant hiss. Taking a steadying breath, she said, "You hacked my password?"

He scoffed. "I'd hardly call it hacking, using the same word every month and then only changing the digit at the end by a 1. My four-year-old brothers could've cracked it."

"What word was it?" Juliet asked curiously.

"Don't you dare...." Holly butted in warningly, fully intending to change her password as soon as she got back to Police Plaza.

Artemis chuckled under his breath, not looking up from his monitor as he accessed the Retimager records. "Don't worry, Holly. I have no intention of telling the world at large your password."

"Oh, come on." Juliet pouted, fluttering her eyelashes at the teenager.

Holly gritted her teeth, worried for a second that her friend's hormones would betray him. "He's not saying a word, are you, Artemis?"

His focus was still on the screen as he initiated the search and answered offhandedly. "My lips are sealed...Hmm..." he said, suddenly clicking his tongue as if in thought.

"What is it?" Holly asked, leaning in.

"I was just thinking...Are you sure you put my teeth back in correctly? They feel a little loose."

Holly rolled her eyes, then clenched a fist, cracking her knuckles in a way she knew irritated him. "I could always knock them out again and give it another try. Just lean your head to the side a tad. You may feel a slight punching sensation."

He coughed nervously and shuffled in his chair away from the elf. "I'm sure they're fine. You did a wonderful job, Holly."

She smiled tensely. "Thank you."

It was at that moment LEP Commander Trouble Kelp chose to enter the room. "Well, people, so what are we looking at?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. 'What are we looking at' he thought with a sigh. He's got his Commander acorns for a second and already he's turned himself into a walking cliché.

"What we are looking at, Commander, is a mystery." Artemis said.

"I'm going to need more than that. Is the boy a threat, or isn't he?"

"Commander, even a gun is only a threat when put in the wrong hands; else it's just an inanimate object like any other."

"Spare me the lecture, Fowl. Is he human?"

Artemis went silent for a moment. "I'm not entirely sure...On the surface he's perfectly normal, but we have spotted several slight irregularities."

Holly scoffed, "slight irregularities? You call being immortal, apparently immune to germs and glowing like a light bulb a slight irregularity?"

Trouble gaped at the pair for a moment. "What are you talking about, Captain?"

Holly sighed. "Tell him, Artemis."

The boy sighed in turn and gave the Commander a brief rundown of what he had discovered about the boy.

Being quite military minded, Trouble Kelp's first reaction was one of utter disbelief and dismissal. "You can't really expect me to believe all of this, can you?"

Artemis shrugged. "It's all right there, Commander. To be honest, I didn't believe it myself when I first saw it. I thought perhaps my Atlantis Complex was flaring up and making me hallucinate. I had to count to four a good dozen times before I even accepted what was right in front of me."

Trouble rubbed his brow. "So, what does this mean, then?"

Artemis inclined his head. "I'm afraid we won't really know until he wakes up."

The Commander shook his head. "Alright, how's he doing, then?"

"Yes..." Artemis began, standing up and stretching slightly. "It's about time we checked up on our guest's status."

Artemis strode over to a bank of wall monitors and brought up the real-time readouts for the monitoring equipment in the sleeping boy's room. He clicked another control and a small image from the camera showed up.

"Ah," he said somewhat nervously.

"I really don't know what you expect to see, he's out cold." Trouble observed, glancing at the medical instrument readouts as if he could understand them.

"He's also gone," Artemis commented.

There was a disbelieving silence for a second as Artemis pondered the image curiously. "That's impossible!" Trouble spat, storming over to the monitors, "Even if he woke up, the door was locked."

Artemis inclined his head. "The door also appears to be gone." He manipulated the camera controls. "No, I stand corrected. There it is; embedded in the corridor wall with what looks like quite a sizable dent in it."

Trouble shoved Artemis unceremoniously aside to look at the image. Artemis immediately began checking through the rest of the instruments. "That's impossible!" the commander roared. "How could he even be awake?"

"I think I have the answer," Artemis said.

"Of course you do," Trouble responded sardonically.

Artemis didn't dignify the comment with a response. Instead he indicated his screen. "Oh, now that is interesting..."

"What is, Mud Boy? Spit it out before I decide to power up my buzz baton."

"About ten to fifteen minutes ago, his brainwave activity began fluctuating violently. Judging by the levels and by the fact he was unconscious, I'd normally associate this activity with a particularly vivid, and more than likely disturbing dream."

"I see. So the kid had a nightmare. What of it?"

Artemis shook his head. "You don't see. Because of it, his brain began releasing massive amounts of neural stimulants and his adrenal gland went into overdrive. You could say his body effectively flushed the sedatives from his bloodstream. That's strange. If I didn't know better I'd say his body knew it was sedated and fought back accordingly; that's very impressive. Although, when you keep someone under for over twelve hours like you insisted on doing, Commander, anyone's body would begin to realise something was wrong. Did you remember to request he be kept hydrated?"

"Do I look like a doctor to you? I just told them to keep that room locked and make sure no one go inside. The last thing I needed was a hospital full of people knowing we had a Mud Man among them. That's why we've been keeping you lot stashed up here; I can't risk a panic in a place like this. D'Arvit!" Trouble cursed and marched out the room, returning a moment later with the hospital director in tow; a disgruntled-looking pixie, whose wings were beating up an irritated cacophony as Trouble dragged him in. "All right, doc, punch up the surveillance cameras," he commanded, nodding at the monitors.

The pixie, who was understandably upset at being relegated to the nurse's office next door, blinked his large eyes in confusion. "What cameras?"

Trouble scowled, "The surveillance cameras! We have a situation here!"

"And we don't have any surveillance cameras, except in the entrance and reception area. This is a hospital, Commander, not a military installation," he responded, his voice thick with frustration.

Trouble cursed again and tore the cover off his communicator. "This is Kelp. Retrieval One, report in."

"Entryway sector, everything's normal down here, sir," a deep voice sounded.

"Lower floor sectors, everything clear, Commander."

"Top floors are all a-okay, Trubs," A third voice piped in a carefree tone.

"Main wards-" another voice began, but Trouble cut him off.

"Hang on there. Top floor sector, come in."

"Top floor sector. What's up, Trubs?"

Trouble's brow twitched. "Grub... Is that you?"

"Sure is! Didn't you hear? I've been put back on LEPretrieval One as of last week! I thought mommy told you about it."

Trouble let out a pained groan. "I'd hoped she was joking."

"So, what's up, Trubs?"

"It's Commander Kelp! We're on duty, Corporal." He let out a sigh and reopened communications to the rest of the squad. "I want you all to move in and cordon off the secure floor. We have a human on the loose somewhere down there, and I want you all to use extreme caution. He's already smashed his way free of a secure ward, and I don't want him getting off that floor. Is that understood?"

A series of sharp affirmatives sounded in response as Retrieval One began to move.

"And Corporal..." Trouble spoke.

"Yes, Trub-...yes, Commander?"

"Stay out of trouble." He ordered, and before the corporal could threaten to tell their mother, he killed the link.

Trouble went silent for a moment, a silence Artemis chose to interrupt. "Retrieval One? I wasn't aware the squad you sent for was Retrieval One."

"Hmph. It's not like you needed to know, Fowl. I didn't want to take any chances, so I called in our best."

"Your best?" Artemis echoed dryly.

Trouble gritted his teeth. "Shut it, Fowl!" he snapped, and headed back for the door. "I'm going to join the search. Captain Short, stay here and guard the humans."

Holly nodded, but didn't say anything. The reason they were remaining silent, and why Trouble had left, was due to them trying to ignore the metaphorical elephant that was in the room.

If you're wondering what elephant that might be, it would be the fact that the last time the LEP's elite commando unit faced off against a lone human it was against Artemis' bodyguard, Butler. Needless to say, their performance in the battle was somewhat less than exemplary. In fact, the fight had lasted less than thirty seconds and ended with the entire squad being incapacitated before they could get off a single shot, losing a significant amount of LEP weaponry and equipment to Artemis Fowl.

Artemis had not been above gloating about it at the time. And to be honest, it was taking extreme restraint on his part not to do so now.

Artemis would also have bet a substantial amount of his remaining fortune that Commander Trouble Kelp was not, in fact, heading out to join the squad in general, and was instead making a beeline straight for his younger brother before the inept corporal ran headlong into the wandering human.

His instinct would prove to be well founded.

"I'm going, too." Juliet suddenly said, marching for the door.

"Juliet! Just where do you think you're going?" Butler demanded.

Juliet glanced back at her brother. "I'm just going to go talk to him. I mean, how would you feel if you suddenly woke up in some strange alien place without a friendly face to talk to? You'd be terrified, wouldn't you?"

Artemis was slightly taken aback. Juliet's choice of action was rash, but oddly logical. He inclined his head mutely in agreement. Juliet swung about and prepared to march out the door when the boy spoke up. "Wait, Juliet, take these," he said, unplugging a plastic cylinder that had been linked into the fairy console.

Juliet took the capsule and popped it open. "Contact lenses?"

"An iris-cam, modified for human use. I've added the same filter that let us see the energy going into the boy. It should, in theory, lead you right to him."

Juliet slid the lens into her eye and, indeed, behind one of the walls she could see a blurred blotch of white in the distance, several floors down. She grinned. "Cool. Thanks for the present, Artemis." And with that she jogged off down the corridor.

Artemis shrugged. "I was only letting her borrow them..."

Suddenly Holly spoke up. "Where did you steal that iris-cam, Artemis?" she asked suspiciously.

"I did not steal it. I'll have you know I constructed that one myself."

"Oh. Wait, how did you get the blueprints?"

"I stole them."

"..."

-Ω-

This...Is...INSANE.

I contemplated this, wide-eyed, as I slinked down the white corridor with its strange, shimmering neon-blue, tiled flooring.

I slid back out of sight as I spotted another one, another small...I suppose person would be one word I could use to describe the green skinned, pointy-eared figure that strolled past the intersection. The goblin-like creature was twirling a device that resembled a stethoscope and was even wearing an almost-traditional white doctor's coat. I waited as the humming figure disappeared down a door at the end of the corridor.

I hit the control for the door I was pressed up against and ducked inside.

It was some kind of locker room, thankfully empty. Each sky-blue locker had a name tag written in that strange alien language. I was fully dressed, so I didn't need to scavenge any clothes. This was a good thing, as, considering the size of the natives, I doubted I'd find a matching size.

But if it were anything like your average human locker room it might just contain the one thing that was right at the top of my list of priorities at the moment.

At the end of the row of lockers stood a small freestanding podium with a spout at the top. I pressed a control pad and, as expected, it began releasing a steady stream of water.

Thank the gods for drinking fountains.

I found myself drinking more greedily than Edward when he...

I swear, Apollo, I would kill you if it were possible.

I leaned back against a locker and quieted my mind. It was time for the next most important thing on my list.

I listened for the song of the hunt.

Th-wait...What?

My eyes opened in confusion, flicking about as I listened. I could hear the hunt, the wild... But...it wasn't singing. Its melody was flat. It was sound of the hunt, but it was no song. Like the difference between someone just reading the lyrics to a song and someone actually singing them.

I extended a hand and summoned my bow. It too looked as it usually did, but was subtly, very subtly, different. It was as if it had lost part of its sheen, its sparkle.

I felt the words come out my mouth as opposed to being aware I had said them. "Mother... What's happened to you?"

We can dwell on this later!

I took a steadying breath, dismissed my bow for now, and left the room.

Freeze!

I froze dead.

Further down the corridor, standing just on the edge of my peripheral vision with his back to me, was a small black clad figure wearing some kind of helmet. He held a strange silver weapon gripped tightly in his small hands.

I called back my bow...

-Ω-

Corporal Grub Kelp was having the time of his life. Here he was, out of traffic duty and back in black.

He was still giddy from reading that his application to be reaccepted to Retrieval One had gone through. Little did he know that the only reason this happened was because the new assignment officer was unaware that the part of Grub's record that read only member of the unit to survive a hostile encounter with the human Butler unharmed actually translated to Grub wasn't worth the effort, so Butler let him go. And so, when a spot opened up on the squad and the officer picked up the elf's application, he quite happily rubber-stamped it, much to the rest of the team's despair when they found out.

Grub's carefree smile disappeared, and he halted mid-skip when his helmet registered movement in the immediate area.

He heard the hiss of a door opening to his left and immediately swung about, levelling his tri-barrelled neutrino blaster at the source with a cry of, "Freeze, Mud Bag!"

The gremlin doctor froze, flinging his arms into the air.

Grub eyed the doctor and coughed nervously. "Yes, well, carry on, sir."

The doctor edged carefully around the elf, then bolted off down the corridor.

"And you shouldn't even be on this floor! Didn't you know there's a Mud Man on the loose down here?"

The gremlin tripped up in shock, rolling onto his back as he landed, "M-mud man?" he screeched, scrambling to his feet.

"Yes! It's also a secret. No one's supposed to know!"

The gremlin blinked. "B-but you just told me."

Grub's mouth opened and closed, and he settled on stabbing his blaster in the air at the elevator behind the doctor. "Never you mind that, civilian! Hop to it, before I arrest you for obstructing police business."

As the doctor complied, Grub silently congratulated himself. That sounded impressive. I should write that down!

Suddenly his indicator beeped again. Grub sighed and turned, doubling back through the door the doctor had emerged from and into another corridor.

He took a left bend when the indicator suddenly stopped.

Grub raised his weapon and edged carefully down the corridor. He stopped just past two pairs of locker room doors when his brother's voice sounded over his helmet's com system.

"Corporal Grub, what's your location?"

"Hey, Trubs! I'm currently in the secure wing. Nothing here but a bunch of doctors who're still clearing out."

"Good, hold your position. I'm on my way to assist with the search."

"You are, brother? There's no need, I've got everything under control down here."

"Regardless, I'd feel better leading this one myself."

If Grub hadn't been so busy rolling his eyes and focusing on his brother's voice, then he might have noticed both his movement and proximity indicators flare up, each desperately requesting he pay attention to his six, as the military would phrase it.

The fairy sighed. "If that's what you want, but I swear, it's okay. I've got this one entirely under control."

Famous last words, as fate had picked that exact second to allow a silver arrow to streak through the air and slam into the barrel of Grub's blaster, piercing it clean through. Sparks flew and a stream of liquid coolant sprayed out.

Grub let out an almost comical squeal of shock as he swung about, squeezing the trigger repeatedly.

The only thing he got in response was a warning error flaring up on his visor, showing a flashing red schematic of his weapon and a list of errors:

COOLANT SYSTEMS RUPTURED.

NEUTRINO CHAMBER EXPOSED.

SAFETY PROCEDURES ACTIVATED.

NUCLEAR BATTERY DISABLED.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND AN ERROR REPORT TO HELP PREVENT THIS HAPPENING IN FUTURE?

Grub whimpered and lowered his weapon slightly to see a black-clad figure armed with a silver bow regarding him silently from down the corridor. He slowly lowered the weapon and began advancing on the corporal.

"Corporal? Corporal! GRUB! What's going on down there? I just got a dozen alerts from your suit's systems!" Trouble's voice blared as the elf in question stood frozen like a deer in headlights.

His response was little more than a whimper. Trouble accessed his brother's helmet camera, something already done by Artemis, who had rightly predicted that if trouble found anyone in the squad, it would be Grub Kelp.

"D'arvit!" The commander swore as he saw what his brother did. "Mesmer, Grubb! Use your Mesmer!"

Grub's fingers, trembling too hard to find the visor release, tore his helmet completely off. Fighting to meet his opponent's eyes, he screamed "STOP!" in a high-pitched wail, laced with faerie magic, then with a whimper, "...Please?"

-Ω-

I had every intention of wringing the information I needed out of the small creature as I calmly approached him, when he suddenly yanked off the strange helmet he had been wearing. He looked up at me with terrified, tear-filled eyes and cried out for me to halt.

Now, the fact that he had said it in English wasn't what gave me pause; it was just how good an idea it seemed to be. After all, who wouldn't want to stop after being asked by such a nice guy, and in such a wonderful voice, and he even said please, as if he had to.

I shrugged and stopped. "Sure," I said with a smile, not wanting to upset my new friend.

My buddy looked at me in fear for some reason, though I'm not sure why; it's not like I'd ever do anything to hurt him.

-Ω-

Grubb glanced up at the human, who was smiling contentedly. "Umm... So, you're going to come along quietly, okay?"

"Sure thing!" he said with a beaming smile. "Quietly, quiet as the grave, not a whisper!"

A smile spread across the corporal's face as a well of pride swelled inside of him that he simply couldn't contain. "I did it! I actually did it! First I defeated the great Butler in one-on-one-combat, and now I've caught another human! I actually won!"

"You sure did!" The mesmerised human said, giving the corporal a double thumbs-up. "You got me good!"

Grubb coughed, regaining a mask of smug composure. "This way, human. You will follow," he said regally, extending a hand down the corridor and leading the way.

"You're the boss, boss...Ah...ARGH!" The elf paused and turned around to look at the human. He was frozen to the spot; his hand clasped over one eye as if straining against something.

-Ω-

What exactly do you think you're doing?

I have to go with-

He's the enemy! Have you forgotten? We've got to get out of here and get home!

But he'd never...never lie to me!

Have you lost your mind?

N-no...It's just...

What's wrong?

It hurts...I've got to...Listen to him...Got to...follow.

So that's it... He's got control over your mind. That suits me just fine. If he's got your mind, then I'll just take the body.

Don't...Understand...

Don't worry, just stay calm and keep smiling; you're doing everything you've been told to by your green friend. I can't believe it's come down to this, though. I never thought you'd draw me this close to the surface in order for me to have to do this.

Do what?

Just relax; I'll take care of everything. For the rest of this little encounter...I'm taking over.

-Ω-

The human exhaled a slow breath as his hands fell down to his sides and slowly stood back up to full height. His eyes opened again and locked square onto the nervous elf. The boy's silver eyes were now almost scarily vacant, and he looked different in a way Grub couldn't make out from this distance, but he still had that foolish grin plastered on his face, so the elf wasn't unduly worried. Some humans reacted strangely to the mesmer.

After a second, the human began walking very slowly towards the elf.

"H-human?"

"Yes, boss?" he said, smile unmoving.

"Y-you've still got to follow, right? You know that? You're not allowed to do anything to hurt me, got it?" Grubb stammered, layering his voice with as much of the hypnotic Mesmer as he could.

The human nodded emphatically. "Of course! You're my friend, why would I hurt you?"

Grubb should've listened to his own instinct at this point, as opposed to nervously standing still so close to the human. He really shouldn't have paused to wipe his brow either, as he missed the shadow of the boy's leg rising up sideways into the air.

Grubb opened his eyes just in time to catch the end of the roundhouse kick that struck him head on in the chest. If it weren't for his suit's defence most of his ribs would've shattered under the impact, but even Foaly's technology didn't stop the blow from sending him bouncing down the corridor like a football.

Grubb cried out in pain as his shoulder cracked off one wall, then off the floor, then off the ceiling, and then finally coughing out a cry as he landed flat on his chest.

His concentration broken, the hold on the human's mind was gone, giving the thing currently in control full reign over his body. He crouched down and pounced forwards, bolting after Grub in a crouched run, switching between all fours and leaping between the two walls.

Grub rolled back and jumped away as the boy landed, crouched low to the ground, an animalistic snarl on his face. It was only then that the elf saw the change in the human's eyes. For a second he thought his Mesmer had just damaged the boy's pupils, but that wasn't it. The pupils were elongated, like an animal.

Like a wolf.

As his magic went to work healing his internal injuries, Grub summoned what power he could and spoke again, his voice layered with the hypnotic Mesmer. "S-stop, human! I'm telling you! You have to stop and do as I say!"

The human's face twitched into a smirk. "Sorry, my little green friend, but 'human' isn't in just now. Feel free to leave a message after the bone crunching cracks you're about to hear."

Grubb was too terrified to even whimper when he caught sight of the form at the end of the corridor shimmer into near invisibility.

-Ω-

Commander Kelp had turned into the corridor just in time to see his brother get punted the length of the entire floor.

He fought the urge to call out to his brother. His training told him a sneak attack was what was needed in these circumstances.

The boy was swaying erratically in a crouched position over his brother, meaning if he fired his neutrino from this range he might just as easily hit Grubb as the human. There was only one thing for it.

He shielded, sliding his baton free.

He wasn't wearing any kind of special suit to assist his camouflage, just his regular commander's uniform, so the shimmer in the air, created by his body vibrating at ultra-high frequencies, was visible. Just barely visible, but it was there. Still, as long as the human kept his back turned...

-Ω-

Grubb held his breath as he saw the shimmer approach the human from behind. He heard the subtle buzz of a baton powering up.

The boy tensed suddenly, his brow screwing into a confused frown.

He sniffed the air, muttering, "Ozone..."

Grubb tensed as the boy suddenly locked eyes with him, watching his gaze with terrifying scrutiny.

Against his will, Grub's eyes flicked, just for an instant, to the shimmering form.

The boy's eyes in turn glanced to the side out of his peripheral. A smile twitched on his lips.

He raised an elbow slowly.

"He knows you're there!" Grubb cried out, finding his voice a second too late, as the child swung about, driving his elbow in the approximate direction of the scent he had detected.

It was a lucky shot to say the least, hitting Trouble square in the gut and sending him flying to the ground. His shield disappeared instantly, his hand losing grip on the baton, which went spinning into the air. The human, without hesitation, grabbed the twirling weapon out of the air and slammed it down into Trouble Kelp's mid-section. The faerie convulsed, his back arching, then collapsed into unconsciousness.

The human didn't even seem to hesitate as he continued his movement, swung back around, and struck the downed Grubb with the baton at the base of his neck, leaving both of the Kelp brothers well and truly incapacitated.

The boy stood back up to full height and clicked his neck from side to side, then surveyed the surroundings. "How troublesome... It would appear I've incapacitated our source of information. Perhaps I got a little tooexcited." He paused to smile slightly, looking at his hands. "What an exasperating life you lead, my friend. Best of luck..."

-Ω-

I staggered back, using the wall for support.

I shook my head to clear it. The last thing I remembered was being given some kind of supernatural whammy by the green-skinned fellow and being happy to walk along to possible doom. Next thing I knew was my instinct forcing me to disobey. Its voice became deafening, drowning everything out, even my own consciousness, and suddenly I was submerged in a blindingly complex blur of images, scents, sounds and actions.

I glanced about at my surroundings. The only other people here were two extremely battered-looking small creatures. The one against the door seemed particularly beaten. The other, the one in the dress uniform, appeared to be in a slightly better way.

For what it's worth; that was entirely self-defence. Now snap out of it and start moving!

I would comply, but first I wanted a closer look. I had to make sure they weren't dead too.

-Ω-

"This is insane..." Holly breathed out as she watched the proceedings through the camera on Grubb's upturned helmet. "He broke through the Mesmer!"

Artemis had remained composed, watching on with great intrigue. "Hmm..."

Holly held her breath as the boy began walking towards the downed Trouble. He regarded him silently for a second before crouching down and tilting the elf's head to the side. He pressed two fingers to the side of his neck, nodded and stood back up.

"What's he doing?"

Artemis inclined his head. "It appears he's checking their vitals." As he spoke, the other boy was already giving Grub the once over. Artemis could see the bewilderment on the child's face as he observed the lattice of blue sparks playing over the downed elf's chest.

He stood up again after a moment and turned his attention to the elevator door. He punched the call button, but without a code or scan the elevator refused to respond.

He took a step back and eyed the door ponderingly, his foot tapping in thought.

"He won't get off that floor. The elevators on that floor are all in full lockdown. They'll only open to hospital staff and LEP officers. Retrieval One should be on him any second."

"I wouldn't speak so soon, Holly," Artemis muttered, watching as the boy glanced at the retina scanner, glanced over at the downed Trouble, then back again. He shrugged, eyebrows raised, turned about and picked up the unconscious commander by the shoulders.

"Ah," Holly said, watching as the human lifted the commander's face to the scanner. The elevator opened a second later. He turned about, dropped the commander, mouthed what was obviously a 'thank you', slapped one of the lift buttons, and was gone.

"Ah, indeed."

Holly groaned, massaging her temples as she slumped against the monitor. "And now we have a problem..."

"To use the old vernacular: he won't get far, Holly. This is still a ship and we are still miles under the ocean. I've locked and secured all the escape pods and life rafts. I've even locked the bridge down under a special access code, just in case he tries to hijack the entire hospital."

"He could still do a lot of damage before he realises where he is and decides to stop and listen. This is a hospital, Artemis."

"He's like a predator," Butler suddenly said, having remained even more silent than usual whilst observing the boy. "And the most dangerous kind of predator, at that: a cornered one. He'll treat everything he sees as a potential enemy and disable it until he's satisfied he's safe. I would be acting the same way in his situation if I were to awake in a strange locked room to discover the place is filled with alien creatures with advanced technology. As far as he's concerned, he's in enemy territory, plain and simple."

Artemis nodded in agreement. "And Commander Kelp hasn't exactly helped the situation. We should never have brought him here. If only the council had let me bring him back to Fowl Manor."

"Well there's nothing we can do about it now. What we need to do now is think of a way to resolve the situation quickly. Preferably before he kills someone," said Holly sternly.

"Oh, I don't think that will happen," Artemis responded with his usual confidence, regarding his screen. "He seems to be attacking, as Butler said, to disable. If he had wanted to kill the corporal and Commander Kelp, then he would have done so," Artemis explained, pausing to ponder something. "What intrigues me is this..." he said, maximising the image he had been looking at.

An enlarged image of Grub's rifle filled the screen, skewed through the barrel by a single silver arrow. "I thought he was disarmed..." Artemis said ponderingly, eyeing another image recorded earlier, of the boy holding a bow.

"He was," Holly said, glancing at the boy's possessions resting on the desk at the back of the room. "The only weapon he had was that weird bronze sword. I think we'd have noticed something like that," she said, pointing a finger at the silver bow.

"Butler, what do you make of this?" Artemis asked, indicating the image of the destroyed weapon to his friend.

Butler leaned in and eyed the picture. "Never seen an arrow like it; almost looks metallic. It looks like a standard broad-headed arrow. You normally see them used in game hunting. I'd say for an arrow to go clean through like that, that it would have to be fired from a bow with a draw weight of at least a hundred and twenty pounds."

"Is that a lot?" Holly asked.

Butler cocked his head. "Your average hunting bow has a draw weight of maybe thirty. I've never seen one of that size constructed to take that much strain without simply shattering into splinters."

"So, it would seem our friend has, at some point, within that hospital room, found himself a bow of strange construction, with a draw weight beyond the strength that someone his size should be able to wield, and somehow by this point..." he reversed the video to show the boy in the elevator. "...made it disappear."

"Magic?" Holly asked.

Artemis shrugged. "It wouldn't surprise me."

"So..." Butler began. "He has a magic bow?"

"Logically, that would seem to be the case. It's no doubt all tied in with all of this," Artemis said, extending a hand at the screens that still showed the child's DNA.

"Added to that, he's also taken the commander's buzz baton," Holly said with a sigh."How's Juliet doing?"

"I was just about to check," Artemis replied, opening a voice channel. "Juliet, what's your status?"

Silence greeted him.

"Juliet, can you hear me?" Artemis pushed.

"You think something's happened?" asked Holly. Artemis could feel Butler tense up behind him.

The boy then gave another tired sigh as he reached across the desk and picked up a small skin-coloured plug. "It would, of course, be helpful if she'd remembered to take her earpiece with her. Well, at least we can still see what she's seeing," he said, typing in a few commands. Suddenly, the screen was filled with Juliet's first-person view.

"Seems she's okay," Holly observed. Juliet was just coming off an elevator; she glanced occasionally at a moving blur of white that she could see imposed on a wall.

"She's still tracking him," Butler said. "Can you find out where she is?"

Artemis nodded and glanced at the iris-cam's locator beacon. "Three floors down from here, on the supply deck." The young genius could sense his old friend's yearning to rush out and protect his sister. "Don't worry, Butler. Juliet is more than capable of taking care of herself."

Butler tried to make himself appear reassured. He didn't succeed.

-Ω-

I was on some kind of supply level; that much I could tell. The small rooms that lined the corridor were filled with boxes and silver-wrapped packets on shelves.

I passed through a doorway at the end of the corridor and into a large warehouse-like storage area with a tall ceiling, darkened due to the poor light. The only real source of illumination was the light pouring in from the corridor. The room appeared to be a kind of crossroads, as each of the four walls had an opening with a corridor leading off.

As I stepped in, I caught a scent carried on the current of circulated air.

Sweet...Like fruit? No, more like...perfume, like...hairspray, like...Girl.

I glanced around for cover. On the ground there wasn't much, so I dashed over to the shelves, leaped up and sprung upwards at a high wall above one of the doorways. I spread my arms and legs out, bracing myself up between the wall and one of the shelves like a spider.

The sound of carefree humming began to drift through the air. Whoever it was obviously didn't care about masking their approach.

Seconds later a mop of blonde curls tied back into a braid appeared in the doorway below me. She took two steps into the room and stopped.

My brow clenched as she suddenly began giggling into her hand. The laughing stopped after a second. Still looking straight ahead, she spoke in a humorous tone. "So, what? Are you going to pounce on me or something?" She paused to giggle again. "It's rude to jump a lady, you know." At that she turned her head about and looked directly at me. A pair of green eyes met mine as she put on a warm smile. "Hey there! My name's Juliet. What's yours?"

-Ω-

Artemis watched through Juliet's iris cam. He had sent a single text message to the iris-cam's display. It had simply read:

Trouble and Grub down. He's dangerous. Come back?

The fact that she had received the message and carried right on without missing a step obviously said that she was confident enough in herself to deal with the situation successfully. It was a shame Butler didn't share her optimism, but then he always had been the overprotective sort. It was one of the things that made him such an excellent bodyguard.

-Ω-

Juliet frowned. "Come on, then, don't you know it's impolite not to give your name when a lady introduces herself?"

He gritted his teeth and grudgingly muttered, "Armani."

Juliet let out another giggle and clapped her hands happily. "Yay! That wasn't so hard, was it, Armani? I love your name, by the way. Very designer and all that. Now you can ask me something."

He frowned, but played along. "Very well, I'll start with the obvious. Where in Hades am I?"

Juliet ignored the strange phrasing of the question and tapped a manicured nail on her chin. "Hmm, I suppose I'd best begin by asking, what would you say if I said that fairies, leprechauns, elves and all that stuff were real?"

He raised a single eyebrow. "I'd say hallucinogenic drugs are never the way, come on, there are people who love you, now let's have an intervention," the boy responded blandly.

Juliet heaved a sigh. "Okay, this is going badly. If I just up and told you that you were on a fairy ship under the ocean, next to the lost city of Atlantis, would you be satisfied?"

"I would not."

"No," she sighed, resting her hands on her hips. "Didn't think so."

"If you're not going to tell me the truth, then I strongly suggest you stand aside," Armani said warningly. His stance changed, legs clenching in preparation to spring.

Juliet pouted. "No. I found you, which means you have to calm down and be nice."

Juliet didn't catch his response, but was sure it involved something to do with blondes.

"Sorry, little girl, but I'm not in a calm and nice kind of mood. Now step aside before I'm forced to hurt you."

Juliet glowered back in response. "Firstly, I'm eighteen, not a little girl. Secondly...Well, that's not going to happen," she said with a small, daring smile.

-Ω-

Looks like I have to go through her.

I eyed the girl. She was slightly bigger than me. For a second her blonde hair and fiery green eyes reminded me of someone else...

Focus!

I shoved the distracting thought aside and resumed my assessment. She was of average stature. She wore loose-fitting jeans and a white tee-shirt bearing the words Jade Princess: Champion 2010. From what I could see of her arms, they were slim, but with extremely well-toned muscles. She was obviously a lot stronger than she liked to let on. I also observed that, despite her lax posture, with each of my movements she would subtly alter her centre of gravity to compensate, effectively staying perfectly on guard. She was obviously well-trained.

"Oh! Oh!" She suddenly said excitedly, raising a hand.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "What now?"

"How about this; I'll wrestle you."

I blinked disbelievingly. "Come again?"

"If I get the three count, or you tap out, then you have to stay and do what I say. If you win, you can go on your merry way."

I regarded her silently for a moment, not entirely sure if she was being serious or not, but considering I was probably going to have to fight my way past her anyway..."Very well. But no tricks."

I released my grip on the wall and slid down to the floor. I approached her slowly, and she matched my movements. We effectively ended up circling for a moment, and then stopped, facing each other.

Suddenly Juliet raised her arms up. "In this corner! The reigning champion, eternal fan favourite, in her first hardcore street fight against the mysterious stranger from-"

"What are you doing?"I enquired dryly.

She paused and glared at me. "It's for the fans, stupid. They need an introduction."

I glanced about at the empty room. "What fans?"

She carried right on. "-mysterious stranger from a faraway land! It's the Jade Princess! And in the-"

"You wear a T-shirt with your own name on it?"

"Sh...shut up! And in the opposite corner, the inexperienced newcomer! Don't let his small size and girly face fool you, folks. Yes, he may look like a wimp, but this kid means business! Having already scored a double knockout against the Kelp brothers in a two-on-one handicap match this very evening, it's the mysterious Armani!"

"Could I be more insulted? No, I don't think I could."

"Ding!" Juliet chimed, miming the act of striking a bell with a hammer.

"So...can we fight now?" My answer to this enquiry was a sudden, brutal clothesline to the neck.

-Ω-

Artemis rolled his eyes. He didn't have audio, but from the wild gestures Juliet was making he had a pretty good idea what she was up to. "Don't tell me she's going to-"

Butler groaned and nodded. "She is."

Both watched as Juliet knocked the unprepared boy to the floor. He recovered instantly, and the image spun as Juliet was struck in the chest and sent flying back.

Artemis heard Butler hiss as the boy dashed off-screen. Juliet was glancing about just as she was struck from behind, lifted up and sent hurtling into a box of Atlantean food supplies.

She recovered quickly and grabbed her opponent in her arms, twisting about and into a body slam. Her showmanship was obviously taking precedence, as she chose to send him crashing into another pile of boxes for effect as opposed to breaking his bones off the hard floor.

They both watched as the pair exchanged blows for several moments, each using increasingly extravagant fighting techniques, when Artemis slapped his hands down on the desk and pushed himself smoothly up, glaring straight ahead.

"This whole situation is starting to get out of hand."

"Starting?" Holly echoed incredulously. "Just which growing catastrophe have you been watching?"

"I expected the Retrieval squad to be dispatched, but I didn't factor in the possibility that Juliet could be defeated."

Holly glanced at the screen. "They look to be about even so far, and I bet Juliet isn't even getting warmed up."

"Butler, are my assumptions correct?" Artemis asked.

He nodded grimly. "Juliet's probably going at about half of what she's got, but I can't see the boy putting any effort into it whatsoever, and yet they're both about even. I hate to say this about my sister, but...he's toying with her."

The young Irishman breathed a tired sigh. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this; Butler..."

"Yes, Artemis?"

"Resolve this, would you?" He didn't really need to ask, since he knew his bodyguard was only waiting for his permission.

He nodded once. "Thank you." And with that, the manservant was out the door with a speed you would think impossible for someone of his size.

Artemis was still for a moment or so, then headed for the door himself. "And where do you think you're going?" Holly demanded.

Artemis paused. "I wish to talk with him. The head start should give Butler enough time to calm everything down before we arrive."

"In case you don't remember, the commander ordered me to stay and guard you."

A small smile twitched at the corner of his lips. "Of course. That's why you're coming with me."

Holly groaned painfully as she grabbed her equipment belt off the table and followed. "I swear, you're making me grow old before my time, Artemis."

"Nonsense. You don't look a day over seventy-five."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Arty."

-Ω-

I flipped myself up and carried straight into a spinning kick that Juliet dodged nimbly, drawing herself back into a crouch, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

I halted, frowning. "What?"

"What was up with that kick? We're wrestling, not Kung-fu fighting!"

"Kung-fu fighting? Who even says that anymore?"

"Honestly, you'll never get into the WWE like that."

"Oh no, my dreams, shattered," I muttered.

"Well, if you want to go no-holds-barred..." she said, pulling herself up to full height.

Juliet charged, skidding to a halt to dodge the punch I was throwing. She then grabbed me by the shirt and drove a knee into my chest. She swung about, backhanding me across the cheek and sending me reeling backwards.

So she's finally decided to stop holding back, has she?

She used my disorientation to tackle me to the ground. She pounced on me, pinning me to the floor with her elbow and knee.

"One..." She said with a grin. "Two..."

I glanced behind her. "Look! It's Vince McMahon!"

"Where?" she gasped excitedly.

I used the momentum of her glance over her shoulder to send the girl spinning off me with a well-placed kick to the chest.

She landed in a crouch, glaring angrily at me as I rose to my feet. "That was low!"

I shrugged. "Hey, you're the fan favorite. Doesn't that make me the bad guy by default?"

She grinned. "Of course, and you should know; the favorite always wins in the end. I didn't want to have to use this, but..." At that she charged me head on.

Is she nuts?

At the last second she drove her heel in, and fell forwards onto her hands, twisting sideways and sending her blonde braid whipping out to the side.

Through the blur of her movements I caught sight of a green shape attached to her hair flying towards my head from the side.

The hair! Watch out for the hair!

My hand shot out reflexively and grabbed hold of the stone ring that was about to shatter three of my back teeth. I kicked out at her exposed back, pinning her to the floor face-down.

Close...Very close...

"A jade ring? Why, how very apt... Princess," I said, pressing my foot down as I held the ring up, keeping her braid taut.

Juliet looked too stunned to move even if it were possible as she looked back at me over her shoulder. "You caught it...No one ever catches it."

I grinned. "I'm not no one. So tell me, Jade Princess; isn't it about time for you to tap out?"

Her face seemed to be about to form a scowl, but then it changed into a smile, and not a very nice one. It was the sort of smile I usually see right before someone stabs me with something.

"I told a lie," she said suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my brow creasing into a frown.

"I said that no one ever catches it. That's not strictly true. There is one other person who's caught the jade ring before."

"Interesting, although I fail to see how that bit of trivia applies in your current situation."

She raised her eyebrows. "It doesn't... but it will in another two seconds."

To the right!

Again, time seemed to slow as I glanced to the side. My eyes widened in shock, my hand losing grip of the ring as I was hit in the face by what I can only describe as a bulldozer in a business suit.

-Ω-

Every ounce of wind had been knocked out of me by the huge man's full-body tackle.

I cried out in pain, using nearly all the strength I had to force off the two hundred and fifty pound weight that was pinning me down.

The instant there was a gap, I slid out and sprang to my feet, leaping a good distance back for safety.

The man stood up to full height too, and when you're less than five foot four yourself, being towered over by a person who must be pushing seven foot was somewhat imposing, to say the least.

Careful. Be very careful with this one. I barely caught his approach until the last second.

The man eyed me warily, and then turned to the girl. "Are you okay?" he asked, helping her to her feet.

Juliet shrugged his hand off. "I didn't need your help, you know; you've totally interrupted my match, brother."

Brother?

He shrugged. "Fine, if that's how you want it..." he said, grabbing her wrist and slapping the palm of her hand with his. "Tag."

"But this isn't a...Oh, whatever. You love to spoil my fun, don't you?"

"I'm hurt," he said in a most unhurt tone as he turned back to me. "Now then, are you going to calm down, young man?"

"Are you going to stand aside?" I asked, cocking my head.

He inclined his own large head back. "Unfortunately not. There are lots of sick people here, and we can't very well have you running round disturbing them."

I sighed and retook a fighting stance. "That's unfortunate. Two on one now, is it? Not the worst odds I've ever faced."

The large man sighed back in response. "If you insist, I'll play, but just you and me, one on one. The girl stays out of this."

I shrugged. "Works for me."

He raised his hands. "Come on, then."

"Armani Dove," I said simply.

"Hmm?"

"That's my name, and you?"

He nodded with a small smile. "Butler."

I frowned. "Butler?"

His smile became a smirk. "It's a family name. I'm afraid my given name is not something I give out freely."

"Alright, Butler, here comes." And without another word I attacked. Aiming for his high centre of gravity, I leaped up into a roundhouse kick...and bounced clean off.

Alright... Looks like this may take some effort.

I sprang off his wide chest into another kick, bouncing off again and again. By the fifth spin I knew I'd probably just get dizzy before this walking hulk would fall. Although he didn't budge, each kick caused his teeth to clench.

This man's a breed apart; I know I'm hurting him, but I'm not shifting him a millimeter.

After a good thirty seconds of aerial acrobatics, I spring boarded back off him and landed, staggering back, slightly out of breath. "Okay...So you're not half bad."

Butler rubbed his chest with huge palm. "That...was painful. You know, for a little guy you sure do pack a punch."

I was jumping up to punch him square in the jaw when his hands lashed out and grabbed me by the shoulders, holding me suspended in the air like a doll caught in a vice. "Sorry, friend, but I think you've had enough fun for one day."

Not good.

I would've thanked my instincts for stating the obvious had Butler not released one of my shoulders and then, lifting me up with one hand, slam dunked me down through a series of shelves and crates. The entire structure gave way and collapsed down on me like a piece of badly-made flatpack furniture.

Chalk one up for simple brute strength.

Through the haze and spots now swimming in front of my eyes, I was only dimly aware of a hand the size of a shovel reaching into the darkness and pulling me free.

-Ω-

I had tried resisting more, really, but when someone like him has you held by the scruff of the neck like a mischievous cat, it doesn't last long.

So in the end, how did he subdue me? Was it using a series of well-placed, violent blows? A jab to the neck, perhaps? Or maybe by some great feat of martial arts? No, he did nothing of the sort. So how did he subdue me?

He sat on me.

I cannot help but feel somewhat disgruntled.

Every time I struggled, Butler would jab at one of my pressure points with clinical precision and my limbs would tense up rigidly. "Let. Me. GO! Gods, I just want to go home!" I shouted, glaring angrily up at the man as I struggled in vain. I let out one last cry of exhortation then collapsed onto my face. "Well, this is just spiffing. Lost Zeus knows where, in a strange place filled with heavily-armed members of the Lollypop Guild, and beaten by a Laestrygonian giant in a tuxedo!"

"Laestrygonian giant?" Butler's deep voice echoed.

I thought he was speaking to me, but he was answered by a chillingly smooth voice. It sounded Irish spliced with a tinge of Oxford. "Creatures from Greek mythology; known for their size, ferocious combat ability and prowess in battle."

"Oh," Butler said, and then lowered his head down into my field of vision. "Thank you."

I rolled my eyes. "You forgot to mention they were also cannibals."

Butler smiled slightly. "Who says I'm not?"

I groaned at the remark and, as Butler retracted his head, I found a teenage boy with the palest alabaster skin I'd ever seen regarding me curiously from a few feet away. At his side stood a woman who was clearly of the same species as the two I had dispatched earlier. Her fingers were drumming on the barrel of a silver pistol in her belt.

The raven-haired boy looked down at me with a pair of mismatched eyes. "Good day. Armani, wasn't it? My name is Artemis Fowl, and if you want any hope of ever getting home again, then I suggest you listen to what I have to tell you."

As I lay there, surrounded by blonde wrestlers, giants in suits and pointy eared creatures. I found that as I regarded the pale boy looming over me, the only words that came to mind were...

Well, at least he isn't sparkling.

-Ω-

To be continued...

-XA-

[A/N] Well that was fun, I'll get the beta of chapter two up ASAP, again all thanks to Shrrgnien for her awesome work and making this beta possible.

See you in the Beta of Chapter 2: History and Heist