Angel, part 10

Note: this is the final chapter for the Angel series, but not for the story. However, the next chapter of this Work in Progress most likely won't be updated for some time, for I will be working on other projects outside of FF. Thanks for reading and please review! I love to read them!

Rated R: language, of course, and sexual content

The sun passed and the stars and moon came. Duff dreamed for endless hours of Abby flying through the night sky on her soft white wings, dancing through tiny jewels and lighting up his eyes. He dreamed of her lips, her tongue, her taste, her soft touch, her golden hair, her exotic eyes…but in reality Duff never took his eyes off that horizon. His eyes never shut. He stay awake all night, though his mind danced with insane and magical images. The moon passed and the stars disappeared, and the sun peeked out from under the horizon as if had just woken from a nice long nap and was ready to come out and shine for a new day.

It just dawned on him that there was a blanket covering his shoulders. Cathella must have put it over him in the middle of the night. He shrugged it off, along with the growing hunger pains in his stomach. His eyes were strained from being open all night. They were heavy and wanted to fall shut, but Duff pressured them to stay open. He could go another day if he needed to.

Duff caught a bird flying in the distance. It came out from the dawning sky. He couldn't make out what kind of bird it was. He watched its wings flap slowly, and it soared through the air gracefully. As it got closer and closer, it grew bigger, and Duff could see long gold hair flowing in the wind. It was Abby.

As she got nearer to the island, she dived down and landed on the shore. She was wearing a special kind of bra—the straps reached down to the small of her back and crossed in an X pattern, so it didn't cover any part of her wing tattoo and didn't interfere with her wings coming out. The bra was white, and she wore long white flowing pants and was barefoot. Duff stood up and stared at her. He was angry, he wanted to yell at her for not saying goodbye, for not telling him about possibly leaving, but he didn't.

Abby saw him and could immediately tell he had been sitting in that spot all night. She walked up to him and wasn't sure how to react. She was upset with not only Duff but with herself after last night, and when she got the call from the elders, she didn't have the courage to tell Duff, even though she knew she should have. He would have never forgiven her if she didn't come back.

Abby approached Duff and hugged him, after her wings melted back into ink form. She didn't have words but she knew she missed his comforting touch, and after hearing what the elders had to say, she needed it. Duff squeezed her hard against his body. He was afraid she wasn't going to come home.

"So this means they accepted eh trial? Eh 'ave hope?" Duff mumbled. He looked at her, still slightly angry that she didn't say anything to him. Abby was surprised that he knew about the trial, but she nod her head.

"I almost thought I wasn't going to be able to convince them. But I told them how far you've come, and they're willing to offer you a chance to show them that you are worthy."

"Why are they so worried tha' eh cannae keep eh secret?"

Abby looked into his eyes. "It's not just about keeping the secret. Come, let's go inside. You look terrible. Did you sleep out here?"

"No."

"Did you sleep at all?"

Duff looked away from her and shook his head. His eyes were red and surrounded by dark circles. She took him by the arm and walked him to the castle doors. She nearly had to drag him; he was like a broken dog limping from an endless night of being whipped.

When they got inside, she brought him to the couch and sat down with him. Duff's skin felt cold, and after being out all night he was most likely to fall ill, so Abby lit the fireplace and draped Cathella's wool blanket over him. She went to go make him a cup of tea, but when she came back into the living room with his mug, he had taken the blanket off.

"You can't possibly be warm." Abby handed him the tea, but he just rested it on the side table. Abby sat down next to him. She felt his arm…it was still cold, and his hairs were sticking up. She grabbed the blanket and tried to wrap him in it again, but he just shrugged her off.

"Duff…you're going to catch a cold if you haven't already. You need to stay warm."

"Eh don' want te blanket."

"Why?"

"Because eh want ye te keep meh warm."

Abby looked at him. She was unsure of what to do. Duff glanced at her, huffed, and shook his head.

"An' eh know ye don' want te do tha'. Ye probably don' wan' te touch meh again. An' if eh cannae have ye te keep meh warm, then eh don' want no fuckin' blanket, eh'm fine as is, cold as ice, jus' like meh heart."

"Duff…" Abby felt bad that he was lashing out at her. She knew it wasn't her fault and he should apologize to her, but she knew how sensitive and hurt he was. She didn't blame him.

"Whut?" he snapped at her like a viper.

"Duff, I do love you, that's not a lie."

"Oh don' give meh tha' shit. Sure, ye love meh like eh brother or eh son or eh cousin or whutever…family, tha's te kind of love ye feel fer meh. Yer nae in love wit meh, an' don' tell meh ye are because eh can feel it. Nah…eh can't feel it, tha's te whole point. When eh kiss ye eh can feel ye holdin' back. Ye still feel guilty, eh get it. But don' tell meh yer in love wit meh because eh know yer still in love wit yer dead husband, an' eh can tell by te way ye touch or kiss meh tha' ye don' feel te same fer meh."

Abby had to look away from him. Tears filled her eyes, and it was because he was absolutely right, but she didn't want him to be.

"So now what? Do you want me to stay or not, because I can tell the elders right now and leave." Abby stood up. It seemed like ever since Duff found out about her secret, he resented her and picked on her for not loving him the same.

Duff paused to think. It struck him that losing Abby was not what he wanted…not at all. He felt sadness and frustration. He felt bad for yelling at Abby for such selfish reasons. He took her hand but she pulled it away.

"No…Abby, eh don' want ye te leave. Eh jus…" he sighed. "Eh jus' need ye in meh life, whether ye love meh er nae, an' all eh want in te world is fer ye te feel te same way abou' meh an' eh don' know how te make tha' happen."

Abby sniffed and continued to look away. Duff took her hand again. After a moment of staring into space, Abby sat down.

"I'm…tired." She said. Duff looked at her strangely. The way she said 'tired' was different than a normal tired. He tried joking with her.

"Tired? Ehm te one who didn' sleep."

"I didn't either, I was talking with the elders. But that's not what I mean. I'm tired of life. After looking back and remembering every single moment of my eternal soul and all my past lives, I just sometimes feel like life just reoccurs and repeats itself over and over again, and I think, is being a guardian really salvation? Was it worth living thousands of years just to get to this point? Or is there something greater that I still need to learn? You know what I mean? Like, is life really worth living?"

Duff just stared at her. It was odd hearing these words from Abby. It sounded like something he would be saying.

"Yer talkin' te the wrong lad. Ye know how many times eh've wanted te commit suicide?"

"I don't mean physical life, I mean deeper than that. Like the soul. Is it worth it being eternal and living so many different lives? It feels like in the end they're all the same."

"But eh guess te point is, ye gotte live as many lives as ye need in order te learn everythin' te universe has te offer."

"Yeah, but is learning about the universe and discovering its secrets worth the suffering that we go through so many lifetimes?"

"Eh couldn't tell ye. Ye've discovered eh lot more than eh have. Whut, ye don' think it's worth it te 'ave an eternal soul?"

"Sometimes I don't understand why life exists, despite everything I know and have learned, I've never been able to find an answer to that."

"Well if there's nae God, then who chose te give life? Is there an all-being?"

"It's just…spirit, and the natural order of things. No one decided that there should be living things on Earth, it just happened. Nature happened. Life started to appear in bacteria and plant form millions of years ago, but why?"

Abby fell on the couch and carried her head in her hands. Duff chuckled. "Eh guardian is questionin' te meanin' of life. Go figure."

Duff sat down next to her and took her hand and held it in his lap. "Eh used te ask mehself te same question. But now eh think tha' life is eh journey tha's nae about te end lesson but te journey itself. Eh think there's somethin' amazin' about te little miracles in life. An' they may er may nae have eh meanin' in te big universal lesson we're meant te learn, but eh don' care abou' tha. Ehm nae worried about bein' eh cockroach in meh next life time."

Abby smiled a little.

"Ehm worried abou' tis life. An' ehm worried about losin' ye, whether te elders take ye away or ye leave by yerself."

"I would never leave willingly."

"Nae after everythin' eh've done? Eh know eh haven't made things easy fer ye…ye know…in our relationship."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"Eh know but eh've pressured ye an' eh shouldn't 'ave gone so forward without yer consent. Eh know ye don' love meh, heck, ye don' look at meh te way eh look at ye. Yer afraid te be physical with meh an' eh understand yer reasonin' an' ehm nae angry wit ye. Ye know how much eh want ye, an' eh shouldn't 'ave let tha' cloud meh mind. Eh make ye uncomfortable."

"Duff, you know I desire you…"

"Aye, but nae mentally."

"I…" she opened her mouth to protest, but Abby wasn't really sure how. She looked down and didn't say anything. She didn't want him to see her facial expression because he was right. Yes, she wanted him mentally, but she knew that the guilt would come to haunt her eventually, despite how much she tried to push it away and move on.

"…but eh can live wit te fact tha' ye don' swoon over meh an' yer nae head-over-heels. Whut eh can't live wit is te fact tha' eh might live te rest of meh life without ye."

Abby turned to face him and leaned against the back of the couch. She sighed deeply, and was finding it difficult to come up with the right words.

"Duff…there's something you need to know."

"Te last time eh heard tha' sentence, eh learned tha' ye might nae of came home. Now whut?"

Abby stared into the fireplace, hypnotized by the flames. "I explained to you before about reincarnation and moving up and down to higher and lower life forms. Usually the soul is tested after it has lived another life in the physical world, and the elders or whatever guardian is assigned to their hearing chooses if they move up or down a level and by how much, or if they remain neutral and are destined to live another chance at a similar life."

"Err…okay, so whut, they're goin' te read meh record of how many times eh've lived as bacteria or an insect an' judge me off o' tha'?"

"No…they're going to test you early. Instead of waiting for you to live another forty or fifty years or so to learn life's lessons, they are going to have a trial now. And instead of choosing your next form of life, they are going to choose whether I stay permanently with you and Bessie, or…" Abby stopped mid-sentence. She looked down and horror struck on her face at the thought of a possible alternative.

"Or…whut?"

"Or I leave, permanently…and all your memories of me are forgotten."

Duff felt steam boiling in his ears. "Whut?"

"You would be punished to lose all that I taught you and you would return to your old ways, like how you were before I came into your life, and you would have to learn on your own without guardian assistance. It would be like I never existed."

"An' Bessie?"

"Her too."

Duff stood up, fuming. He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, flailing his arms in the air, yelling at the top of his steaming lungs. "Who te fuck do they think they are? They can' do tha'! An' whut did Bess ever do? Ye were assigned te her in te first place! She's jus' eh wee lass, all she ever wanted wus eh mother an' eh wus too much of eh jerk te women tha' she never had eh woman te look up te. Eh couldn' even hold eh relationship. All tis because eh know of their fuckin' secret?!"

"Shh…calm yourself. They do not like to be insulted, and they will not tolerate that at the trial. Sit down."

Duff puffed like the wolf that couldn't blow down a house. "If I leave, it doesn't mean you will live the rest of your life suffering. You would probably start from the beginning…hire a woman to help you raise Bessie and keep the castle in order, and maybe you would fall in love with her and Bessie would look up to her as a mother…"

"No," Duff interrupted. "Eh don' want te hear it. There is no her, there's no other possible woman. Yer nae leavin' us. Eh jus' can't go back te the way eh used te be. Nae after havin' ye in meh life. Eh don' care if eh won' remember anythin'. Now tha' eh see how meh life can be, how blessed eh can be fer havin' ye…eh jus'…can't go back, Abby. Eh can't. Eh can't suffer anymore. An' no one could 'ave helped meh but ye."

Abby took his hands. "This is my fault. I should have faked death…then you would have been able to remember everything I taught you."

"Taught meh? Abby please, yer nae eh fuckin' teacher. Eh know ye don' feel te same as whut eh feel, but no matter how hard eh try te contain it, ehm in love wit ye. Yer death would 'ave probably thrown meh inte insanity, or suicide. Eh wouldn' 'ave been able te handle it. Fer te moment eh thought ye were dead, eh could feel mehself losin' control. Eh wanted te cause harm te others, because in meh fucked-up mind, eh would 'ave needed te release meh grief fer ye through violence. Forgettin' ye would 'ave left meh wit eh better chance of hope than if eh had te suffer through losin' another person eh loved."

"Duff, I'm sorry."

"Whut are ye sayin' sorry fer? There's nuthin' te say sorry over. It's nae yer fault tha' ye couldn' fake yer death. Cathella told meh ye didn' think yer mission is over."

"My mission will never be over. I know you and Bess can't live without me. But I'm sorry I have no control over this. I don't know what's going to happen."

"All eh have te do is answer te questions right? Get an A double plus on te test?"

"It's not going to be your typical questioning."

"Well whut will they ask meh?"

"I…can't tell you."

Duff stared at her for a moment with a blank expression. "Whut dye mean ye can't tell meh?"

"If I told you or prepared you for the trial in any way, the elders would know and they wouldn't give you a chance. They want to know what you have to say without guardian help."

Duff couldn't process the thought in his mind. How was he supposed to know what they were going to ask? He knew absolutely nothing about this spiritual world Abby lived in. He knew nothing about souls or reincarnation…this was the first time in his life he even thought about anything greater than humanity. He didn't have enough hope growing up to believe in a god or even guardian angels. He figured that if they existed, he wouldn't have lost his family.

"Is there anythin' ye can tell meh?"

"Just…" Abby took his hand and held it tightly. "Just think simply. The soul and the trials haven't changed since the beginning of time. I'm sorry if I confused you with everything I have tried to explain, but the idea isn't as complicated as it sounds. Do you understand?"

"Nae really."

Duff and Abby stared at each other. Abby didn't know what to say. She couldn't say anything.

"Abby…am eh goin' te lose ye?" Duff mumbled. Before, he let his anger fill him, and he knew he wouldn't let anyone take Abby away. He wasn't going to let her leave, no matter who stood in his way. Now, for the first time, he felt hopeless.

Abby didn't answer. Duff knew she felt scared for him. He could tell she was afraid that he wouldn't pass the trial. She wasn't sure if he was ready for the elders yet. He could see the doubt in her eyes. She knew that he could see right through her, so she looked away from him.

Before Duff could say another word, Abby kissed him on the cheek. Duff was relaxed from having felt her soft lips again. He missed them.

Duff was surprised that she kissed him, even if it was just on the cheek. He thought she didn't want to touch him again. Duff then remember about their episode last night, and how bad he felt for ignoring her pleads to stop.

"Eh want te apologize fer last night. Eh thought ye were jokin' when ye said ye didn' want meh, but at te same time eh knew ye were bein' serious. Ehm jus' so used te women sayin' no but as eh game. Eh shouldn' 'ave put so much pressure on ye."

"No…Duff…I enjoyed it. But you know why I…"

"Eh know. Tha' doesn't make whut eh did okay. Ye were there fer meh as eh friend, when eh first met ye. Ehm nae bein' eh friend te ye. Ehm more like te cranky, demandin' boyfriend."

Abby smirked a little. "Boyfriend?"

"Err…ehm nae sure whut exactly eh would label our relationship as, but eh didn' mean…"

"I know." Abby interrupted. "I know what you meant. It was an amusing thought: you…me…boyfriend and girlfriend…we sound like we're back in high-school."

"Eh wish eh wus yer high school sweetheart." Duff mumbled. Abby looked up at him and blushed. She didn't know what to say for a while, so Duff thought it was his turn to break the peace.

"So when is te trial?" he asked lowly. He didn't want to think about the trial, but at the same time he wanted it over with.

"Tomorrow." Abby replied.

Duff looked up at her, bright-eyed. He didn't know it would be so soon. He wasn't prepared. He had less than twenty four hours before he might lose Abby forever.

"Whut?" he stood up. "They can' push it back any further?"

"No, they want to make a decision immediately."

Duff stretched his arms and held his head. He paced back and forth, frantically. Abby got up and held him in one place.

"You stayed up all last night. You need your rest."

"Whut? No! It's mornin'…ehm spendin' meh last possible day wit ye! Ehm sure as hell nae goin' te spend it sleepin'!"

Abby sighed. She could tell he really was tired, but was just forcing himself to stay awake. "Well what would you like to do?"

Duff thought for a moment, but he didn't need to think long before a thought popped into his head.

"Eh want te take ye out on eh date."

"A date?" Abby looked surprised.

"Aye, eh full-blown romantically-planned date." Duff looked pleased with himself for coming up with the perfect idea, but also a little mischievous.

"Okay, that would be nice." Abby smiled. "But first, you are taking a nap."

"Whut? No—" Duff tried to protest, but Abby soon shut him down in her motherly scolding manner.

"Don't start with me. By the time we have dinner you'll be drowning in your soup. You need to sleep just for a few hours, and then we can stay up later tonight."

"But—"

"No no no no no. Don't argue. Thank you but I am not interesting in going on a date with a zombie." She pushed him towards the stairs.

"Abby ehm fine. Ye know meh…eh've stayed up far past twenty-four hours."

"Yeah, and how crabby and frustrated were you after that? How many gallons of coffee did you have to drink to keep you awake? If there's one thing that turns me off, it's coffee breath. Let me put it to you this way: I refuse to go on a date with you until you sleep."

Duff knew she wasn't going to budge. But how could he show her, how could he make her understand that he wanted to spend every last possible minute he had left with her? She might be gone twenty four hours from now. Gone forever. Duff would much rather be with her for eight hours than catch up on his sleep. He would rather endure the worst pain he could think of for eight hours than to lose that time with her. But Abby pulled him up the stairs and walked with him into his bedroom. She sat down on the edge of his bed and Duff sat down with her. He gazed into her eyes and felt vulnerable. There was nothing he could do to prepare for this trial. There was nothing he could do to make her stay with him and Bessie. He had no power against the elders and their decisions. His heart ached, and he could feel Abby drifting away from him already. He feared the worst and he couldn't bear it. His eyes itched and stung with tears.

"Hey…" Abby tried to calm him with her soothing voice. She wasn't sure why exactly he was upset, but she could guess. She placed a hand on his face and felt the spiky hairs of his beard. Duff didn't know how to express the words he wanted to say. He tried to think of what he wanted to say if they were his last, and he couldn't fathom the idea. He wanted to kiss Abby passionately. He wanted to express himself through the love he felt for her, but he knew she didn't want that. Duff felt frustrated, not being able to love her the way he wanted. He couldn't find words and just babbled nonsense. He stammered the words that tried to come out, but they just came chopped up like he decided to change them after he started to speak. He felt his mind racing out of control and he couldn't hold on to one thought. He just needed Abby to stay, and never in his life had he ever felt like he couldn't win no matter how hard he fought back.

Abby wrapped her arms around Duff's shoulders and hugged him tightly. Duff embraced her and immediately lost it. He sniffed and couldn't help but let the tears fall from his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he cried. He wrapped his arms around her waist and let every inch of her body connect with his.

"Shh…it's okay, Duff. I'm here." Abby cooed. She rubbed the back of his head and massaged the back of his neck.

"No…it's nae alright. Ehm gonna lose ye, ehm nae goin' te remember ye. Eh need ye in meh life. Eh can't live meh life without ye, whut part of tha' don' yer elders understand? It's their way of punishin' meh again fer somethin' eh did eh lifetime ago?"

"Duff, please, it's going to be—"

Duff took her face in his hands and looked at her in the eye. He was so serious and almost angry that is scared Abigail a little.

"Abby…eh need ye. Ehm nae goin' back te livin' eh life without ye. Eh've been in too much pain already, ehm nae goin' through it again. If they tell meh they're takin' ye away eh'll kill mehself right there."

Abby's eyes widened a little. She wanted to believe that he would never do that, but she knew that he most certainly would. She could see in his eyes that he was at the end of the line. He couldn't take any more.

"But what about Bessie, she needs you—"

Duff's grip on her became tighter. "Eh've had enough pain, Abby. Eh've had enough. Eh don' expect ye te understand, eh don' expect Bess te understand, but eh can't go through te pain anymore. It's nae worth livin'."

"Oh, Duff…" Abby gently placed her hands over his. "Life is always going to be a struggle. If you give up your life now, you'll just start all over, and the struggle might be worse the next time. You've already come so far. Look at all the obstacles you've overcome…look at how strong you've become. I'll always be watching over you, even if the elders do reassign me to another mission. I understand the pain but please don't give up on your daughter, or she's going to be alone, just how you were when you lost Carol. Fight every battle that comes your way in every lifetime…that's what determines a precious soul. Learn to survive."

Abby wiped away a tear that came trickling down Duff's cheek. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry I couldn't leave you. I'm sorry they want to take me away from you but have hope." She looked at him and felt her heart break from seeing him so emotional. She's never seen him cry in front of her, she could tell his heart was breaking too. She embraced him again and wasn't too sure what to do or say to take the pain from him. He held her close and tried to pull himself together for her. He felt embarrassed to just let go, but at the same time Duff knew that she was one of the only people he could open up to.

"Why don't you get some sleep…you'll feel better after you've rested." Abby whispered. She helped Duff lay down on his bed and took off his shoes, then covered him with a thin blanket. "Just relax…breathe. Try and think about what we're going to do on our date later." Duff felt himself calming down, just being able to focus on Abby and how he wanted to spend his last moments with her before the trial. Abby leaned over and kissed his cheek, and he could feel her warmth spread through his body. "You don't need to sleep a full eight hours, just take a nap. That's all I'm asking."

Before she walked away, Duff took her hand and squeezed it. She looked back at him and his eyes screamed and begged for her to help him and take the pain away somehow. Abby looked at him with sad eyes, unsure of how she can keep him from feeling so hopeless. Eventually Duff let go of her hand, and Abby shut the lights off and closed the door behind her as she walked out.

Abby took the time to speak with Bessie. The poor girl didn't know about the trial and that Abby might leave forever. Abby didn't know how she was going to say it or make Bessie understand. She didn't want to break her heart, but she knew Bess was delicate about having a mother and always being left without one.

Abby found her in her room. She was lying down in bed and writing in what looked like a journal or a diary. Abby sat down on the bed next to her.

"Hey, Bess. What's that you're writing?"

"It's meh diary. Eh know daddy 'as one, and he told meh it's important te write down an' express stuff tha' happens in meh life. He says eh want meh children an' their children an' all te Killigans te come te hear meh story an' remember meh even if they didn' know meh. He says it's important te 'ave eh legacy an' fer our fam te stick together an' know each other. He also says tha' expressin' mehself is good fer meh."

Abby smiled. "Do you think you'll ever marry one day and have children?"

"Eh'd like te, but eh don' think eh ever will."

"Well why's that?"

Bessie closed her diary and set it to the side. "Eh never go out. Ehm stuck in tis big ol' castle on an' island, ehm homeschooled, an' eh never go te the mainland. Eh don' even know any boys. Eh 'ave no friends."

"I know it's hard to live in such an isolated home. But I'll talk to your father about bringing you to the mainland more often. I know he has his reasons; people know you are his daughter, and they might not treat you with respect because they don't like your father and the things he's done. But when you're older you'll have the freedom to go wherever in the world you want…you just have to remember to be careful…especially when it comes to boys."

"Eh know, eh know, daddy always tells me never te date eh boy tha' reminds meh of him."

Abby laughed. "That's very good advice."

Bessie smiled, but in a way she looked sad. She lowered her eyes and wouldn't look at Abby.

"Is everything okay? You don't look too happy." Abby asked.

"Daddy's been very sad lately…an' distant."

"Oh…yes, but I'm working on that."

"Why is he so sad?" Bessie looked up at her now. She was suspicious.

Abby sighed and took Bessie's small hands. "Now…listen, Bess…you've grown up to be such a strong young lady…"

Bessie gasped loudly and started to shout and cry. "Yer leavin', aren't ye!"

Abby tried to defend herself but the girl kept yelling. "Abby how could ye do this? Please stay! Don' listen' te whut daddy says, yer eh beautiful angel!"

"Shh..your father is sleeping. We don't want to wake him. Listen I don't know what's going to happen…and it's not because of your father. The people that I work for…the people who sent me to you…they want me to return. They're the ones who are trying to take me away. But we're going to fight. Okay? They are going to talk to Duff tomorrow. He's going to fight for the both of you."

"Eh want te go! Eh'll give em eh piece of meh mind! They're nae takin' ye away!"

"Shhhhh, Bess, be quiet. Lower your voice, please."

Bessie started to sob. She turned from Abby and buried herself in her pillow. Abby could hear her muffled cries. "Of all dad's girlfriends eh never thought ye'd be te one te go. Eh thought ye'd get married an' ye'd be meh Ma…an' eh'd have eh brother or eh sister an' we'd finally be eh happy fam. Daddy's never loved eh woman before. He's never felt such happiness before in his life…ye single-handedly gave tha' te him! An' ye've made meh happy too!"

"Bess, you have to understand. Your father and I…aren't a couple. I know of his feelings for me…but you have to understand that I was sent to you…on a mission. I was meant to make the two of you happy, and now they're taking me to make another family happy, too. This is my job. It's been my job for centuries. I don't want to leave, and there's a chance I might not. But if I do I want you to know that I didn't leave for selfish reasons. Duff didn't push me away, I'm not leaving you…I'll always be watching over you, and I'll make sure that every day you live is blessed with my love."

Tears rolled down Bessie's cheeks. "All eh ever wanted wus eh family, Abby."

"And you have one…your father is your family. Not everyone in the world has a mom and a dad and siblings. No family is perfect. But you can grow and choose to make your family bigger. You can be a mother to your own child. You can have as many children as you want!" she took Bessie's hands and overdramatically expressed her vision. "I can see it now…the charming husband that makes your father want to pull his hair out, because he is so perfect, six little Bessie's running around the castle driving their grandfather nuts…it's in the cards. I see it."

Bessie smiled a little. It's what she wanted, more than anything.

"I will always be your mother. Just don't think that because I'm not around that I'm not there. I mean…technically, I'm already dead, so…"

Bessie easily held back the giggle that hid in her throat. She was too overwhelmed by sadness and grief. She felt like she was mourning Abby's death, even though she stood right in front of her. "But why dye 'ave te leave?"

"The elders…"

"Eh know tha'…bu'…why?" Abby realized it wasn't a question Bessie wanted an answer from. The girl continued to sob and Abby hugged her close. "Eh've lost everythin'…eh can't lose ye too!"

"And what have you lost?" Abby asked. She didn't believe that Bessie truly had her life taken from her as she thought.

"Meh Ma left meh jus' after eh wus born…an' dad never had eh girlfriend tha' either wunted te be meh Ma or loved us enough te stick around…

"Hey." Abby lifted her chin and looked at her straight in the eye. "I love you. I love you infinitely. You know that, don't you? You know this is out of my control."

Bessie nodded her head and tears rolled down her cheeks. She tried hard to fight them back.

"You won't lose me. I'll always be with you."

"But nae physically." Bessie cried.

"Spiritual presence can be a strong thing if the connection is close, which it is." Abby took her hands. "I'll bet you that our connection is so great, you'll be able to see my spirit. You have a special gift, Bessie. You have an open heart and an open mind, which is not something many people have. If you set your heart and soul to see and feel me with you, you can do it."

"Kinda like eh superhero?"

Abby smiled. "Exactly like a superhero." She hugged Bessie tightly and the girl mumbled into her breast.

"It wouldn' be te same if eh can' feel yer hugs an' kisses ehgain."

Abby stroked her charcoal hair. "I'll make sure your father makes up for that." Abby felt bad lying to her. She knew that if Duff lost the trial, he and Bess would forget her and everything she ever taught them. Bessie would forget about having a mother and someone who loves her and watches over her. Everything would be back to the beginning. Bessie would be lonely and would continue to be raised by an angry, alcoholic, depressed man who couldn't learn on his own that he should stop looking for love with a woman and focus on the love he already has for his daughter. Abby started to cry. How could she let this happen? She couldn't allow the Killigan family to slip through her fingers and go back to sadness. Duff needed to win.

Bessie noticed Abby's red, wet eyes. "Why ye cryin', Abby?"

"I'm just sorry…I can't stay."

Bessie looked down, then hugged her again. "It's okay. Eh know it's nae yer fault. Eh think eh understand now."

"What do you understand?" Abby sniffed and wiped under her eyes before tears got a chance to fall.

"Maybe ehm nae meant te 'ave eh Ma. Nae everyone has eh Ma, like ye said. It would be nice te 'ave eh Ma in te fam…cus' ye know daddy can' teach meh everythin' eh growin' lassie needs. But he's always told meh our fam is nae perfect. It hasn't been fer generations. He grew up wit eh Ma an' grandma Belle got taken away too. His fam wusn' perfect, an' when he had meh, even though things 'ave been difficult fer him an' he made eh lot of mistakes, eh know he loves meh an' he would do anythin' fer meh, an' he's already done so much te try an' keep his childhood from repeatin' onte meh. Meh Ma left meh, an' eh've always been kinda selfish, askin' Daddy te get married an' find meh another Ma, but he's struggled so much te find love an' sometimes eh feel like if eh hadn't asked him so much he wouldn' 'ave 'ad his heart broken so many times. An' then ye came along…an' he wusn't lookin' te date ye or anythin' or marry ye…he wusn' lookin' te find love but he did. Eh think all eh really wanted wus meh Pa te find love, nae te 'ave eh mother. Eh know it would be nice, but if he wusn' happy or in love, it wouldn't 'ave mattered if eh had eh Ma or not."

"Bess…you are a miracle." Abby smiled and tears came rushing down her cheeks like waterfalls. "Your heart is as big and strong as this castle. You are so smart and…I just…" Abby sobbed and laughed at the same time. "Your father would be so proud of you and happy to hear you say that. He's felt so bad…"

"Eh know he has. But love can't be made. Eh realize tha' now. We're blessed te find love."

"Oh, Bess…" Abby couldn't believe how much Bessie has grown as a young woman. She was so young and she was as wise as if she was twice her age. Abby finally felt like she had completed the mission she was sent to do. She felt like even though Bessie still wanted her in her life, she didn't need her anymore, and she was strong and independent. She was able to acknowledge and understand all the hardships she went through and she had finally come to terms with her father's pain and struggle. She had forgiven him. Abby knew that even if the clock turned back and Bessie had to live the past year over again without a guardian by her side, she would find her strength. Duff, on the other hand, was still a poor little puppy dog in Abby's mind. She felt like no matter what he needed her. He didn't have the inner strength to find peace on his own. She was afraid for his soul.

After talking with Bessie, Abigail stayed in her room for the night and found herself a little bored. With Duff sleeping and Bessie writing, she didn't have anything else to occupy herself with. Seamus was even sleeping, and she didn't feel up to playing games with a sea monster. Abby soon realized that she too was tired, and decided to take a nap, since she would be up later that night on her 'date'. She didn't want to be a sleepy zombie, either.

Abby lay down on her bed. It was queen-sized so she could stretch out and relax. It was still a little light out; the sun had not yet set so sunshine filled her room. Even though the lights were out, the curtains were light and nearly see-through, so they didn't help. Abby turned the opposite way but she could still see light through her eyelids. She felt too energized to sleep so early. She was used to staying up all day and nearly all night to watch over Duff and Bessie until they went to bed, and they had completely opposite sleep patterns. Abby closed her eyes and remembered the feeling of dying and 'seeing the light'. In her most recent life, she remembered being in the hospital with her son and daughter. They were there by her side when she passed. She remembered thinking of her husband and how she would be with him for eternity, but at the same time she was extremely scared. She felt like she was going to die of a heart attack because she had so much fear of losing her life. And she wasn't too sure if she believed in reincarnation or not, so Abby was afraid of the end…but it wasn't the end. She would have never expected to become a guardian, or even that they existed. In a way, she wished that her soul would be set free in an infinite space where her soul and her husband's soul could be together for the rest of time. When he died, in her past life Abby felt like her heart had ripped in half and one part of it dissolved, never to be healed. She cried every day for the longest time, and she was in a way depressed for the rest of her life. He was her everything, and life without him soon became nothing. Abby started to cry thinking about him. She missed him, but she knew his soul lived in another being right now, but she had no way of knowing what human or animal he had become.

She was so caught up in thinking about her past husband that Abby didn't notice her door was open. She lifted herself up and saw Duff standing in the doorway, shyly. He looked sad, and she couldn't tell if it was because he saw her crying, or because he was thinking about the trial.

"I thought you were supposed to be sleeping…" Abby asked. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, as if she thought Duff wouldn't realize she was crying if he didn't see the tears on her cheeks.

"Eh can' sleep." Duff mumbled and looked down. He continued to linger behind the door, like he was a vampire that wasn't invited in.

"Why can't you sleep?" Abby sniffed.

"Ehm…lonely."

Duff and Abby looked at each other and seemed to read each other's thoughts. It took a few minutes for either of them to say anything more. Duff knew that Abby knew that he meant 'lonely' in more ways than one.

Duff found the courage to enter the room. He didn't close the door behind him, but he sat down on Abby's bed.

"Eh can' sleep knowin' tha' these las' few hours eh have wit ye may be meh last. Ehm tired, ehm so tired eh have eh fuckin' headache but no matter how hard eh try te relax eh keep thinkin' of ye. If its goin' te be another twelve hours er so tha' ehm goin' te be wit ye fer te trial, ehm nae goin' te waste it by sleepin'. Eh'd gladly stay up another full night jus' te 'ave ye by meh side if eh can." Duff started to tear up as well. "An' ehm so lonely, Abby. Eh feel it already."

"I'm here, you're not alone." Abby whispered. She held the side of his face in the palm of her hand.

"Eh tried thinkin' about our date…an' eh asked mehself whut do eh want te do wit ye if this is te last time ehm goin' te be wit ye an'….an' eh jus' feel like there's too much an' nae enough time…an' our relationship isn't at eh good place, so most of te things eh would want us te do ye wouldn't want, an' eh jus'…don't have time…eh expected eh lifetime wit ye…"

"What do you mean our relationship isn't at a good place?" Abby stroked his cheek and felt his hot tears burn her fingers.

"Oh ye know whut eh mean, Abby…eh wunt te be wit ye…physically…ye know tha'. An' yer nae ready fer tha'. Eh don' think ye'll ever be. Eh want so much fer us but it's all jus'…" Duff sighed. "..Eh fantasy."

Abby just looked at him. She watched his facial expressions and to see if they changed. Duff just stared at the floor, disappointed, scared, hopeless, but his eyes lit up as he thought about his desire for Abby. She wasn't sure what exactly he was talking about, or she was too shy to think about what Duff obviously meant.

As if Duff knew exactly what Abby was thinking, he said it out in the open: "Eh want te make love te ye." He looked up at her and looked into her eyes. He didn't say it suggestively, but as a statement that he knew she knew but was too afraid to say. "An'…eh know ye don' want te same. But whut eh'd like te do before…tomorrow, is tha' if ehm goin' te sleep, eh wunt ye te sleep wit meh. An' eh don' mean like sex…sure, eh'd love tha', but eh mean tha' eh wunt te hold ye in meh arms, eh wunt us te cuddle an' fall asleep together. Eh wunt te hold ye all night an' nae let ye go, an eh want te sunshine te come through te window an' wake us in peace, an' eh open meh eyes an' ye open yer eyes an' we're lookin' at each other, an' we smile, an' kiss each other good mornin'. Tha's whut eh want more than anythin'. Eh want one moment where eh feel like…ehm yer husband…an' we're happy, an' we love each other, an' we 'ave eh family…eh want one moment where tha' fantasy seems real."

Abby's gaze softened. She stroked his cheek even more gently. Part of her felt uncomfortable, but something strange came over her, and without thinking she leaned in and softly kissed his lips. She gripped his jaw with a bit of pressure. Duff weaved his fingers through her hair and kissed her back. He didn't want to use too much force or be too passionate or intense, because he knew that's when she started to feel uncomfortable. Duff grazed her lips with caution, like he was afraid of scaring the bird away when all he wanted to do was feed it.

Abby grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down to the bed with her. Duff was a little surprised, but still unsure of where she wanted to go and where the no-zone was.

"Fine. I want you to sleep. If you're not going to do it alone then I'll sleep with you." Abby got up to close the door then she hid under the covers. Duff had to dig under the sheets to find her like a buried treasure. He grabbed her, gently, and pulled her body close until it was connected to his. He put one arm around her and the other over her hip. Abby turned to him; as Duff stroked her back, and his hand creeped under her shirt to feel her bare skin, Abby meant to rest her head on his chest, but by the way their bodies were aligned in height, she found her nose bumping into his chin.

Abby looked up at him, and he looked down. Their lips were perfectly angled to fit into each other like a puzzle, yet they were a couple inches apart. Abby felt relaxed. She wasn't thinking of her past husband anymore, and she didn't have any guilty anxieties. Because, in a way, she was scared for the trial, and she was scared that this was going to be their last time together. She knew she had feelings for Duff. She knew she loved him, but to what extent was always the question. The way she hurt to see him cry sparked something new in her mind. And to think that he might go back to the way he used to be broke Abby's heart. She felt something new that she hadn't really realized before. She couldn't identify it…it was like she felt that she needed him as much as he needed her. She missed being loved by someone, and living a normal life. She was tired of missions and guardian duties. She didn't want to feel like she had lost her humanity. She had the same pain thinking about leaving Duff, as she felt when she betrayed her love in her past life. It broke her heart the same way. When she looked into Duff's eyes, she felt like she was lost forever, trapped in them.

Duff closed the gap between their lips and gave her another light kiss. He was playing his moves safe, but he felt like Abby was doing okay in the comfort department. She closed her eyes and seemed to be taking in the moment. Duff decided to close his eyes too, for now that he was lying down in bed with Abby he felt relaxed and a wave of tiredness washed over him. His body seemed to suddenly become aware that it lacked half a day of sleep. He rested his head on top of Abby's, and almost immediately he fell asleep, but not before feeling Abby's lips on his.

A few hours later Duff woke. The sun was setting and Abby's window faced the west, so the bright sunlight brought him back to consciousness. He didn't feel dazed or sleepy or too tired to wake. He felt refreshed and completely aware. He soaked in Abby's room. The first thing he noticed was how fresh and clean the sheets felt, but at the same time he was warm and cozy. For once in a long time he felt happy. He noticed the pleasure of the simplest things, like how energizing the room smelt. As he looked around the room, Duff realized that Abby had nearly no belongings besides clothes. There were no books, no art, no pictures or memoirs. He knew she didn't bring a lot with her when she first moved in, but she didn't seem to buy anything for herself all those times she traveled off the island for groceries and other supplies. He wanted to buy her something. A gift…anything…but he didn't know what she liked. He remembered that he really knew hardly anything about her interests, all the time he's known her. They never talked about the simple details of their personalities. Duff also remembered the trial, and how he may not get the chance to even know what Abby's favorite color was.

Duff was so comfortable he could barely tell where his body ended and Abby's body started. He couldn't feel her at first, because he thought she was a part of him too. He could feel her lips on his chest. They were warm. He lifted her chin and brought her lips up close to his. By the time Abby woke up, he was already kissing her. Abby kept her eyes closed and blissfully kissed him back. Her hands glided up his chest, feeling his warm skin, running through his course chest hair. She felt the muscles on his arms as a blind woman feels a man for the first time. They exchanged simple, gentle, yet passionate kisses for some time until Duff paused to catch his breath. He pulled Abby as close as he possibly could and she held onto him so tightly nothing could pull her off.

"Abby…" Duff moaned. "Eh don' want te leave this bed."

"Are we going to spend our date in bed then?"

"Eh want te spend te rest of meh life in tis bed wit ye 'ere."

"That's a pretty lazy life." Abby joked.

"Nae when it feels this amazin'." Duff gave her another long, deep kiss. "Eh don' remember te last time eh wus this happy."

Duff was about to lean in and kiss her again when he heard gurgling sounds coming from Abby's stomach.

"I guess you'll need to hire another servant to bring us food so we don't starve trying to spend our lives in bed."

Duff knew he had to get up. He was starting to get a little hungry too once he thought about it. He searched for a clock in the room…it was near six thirty. Duff moaned, kicked the sheets off his legs and jumped off the bed. He ran over to Abby's side and tickled her. Surprised, she squirmed and kicked and giggled and screamed.

"Get up, lassie. Get ready, we should leave soon. It's gettin' late." Duff laughed as he continued to wriggle his fingers against her sides.

"Leave? We're not eating dinner here?" Abby playfully tried to push him off, but to no avail. Instead of tickling her more, Duff grabbed her and picked her up. He held her under her back and legs and acted as if he was going to carry her.

"Nope…ehm goin' te take ye te the mainland. We'll 'ave dinner there."

"Will we have time?" Abby looked up at him.

"If ye get ready quick enough we will."

"Okay, okay, well maybe if you let me down I could start."

Duff instantly let go of her and she squished back onto the bed. Abby landed belly-first onto the mattress. She hoisted onto her hands and knees to get up, and to her utter surprise she felt a hard smack on her butt. She gasped and looked behind her only to see and hear Duff giggling and running out her bedroom door.

It was about seven o'clock. Duff stared at himself in the mirror. The bathroom was steamy after taking a boiling five minute shower. His beard was clean-cut and freshly shaven. His teeth were minty and sparkling, and his entire body was doused with cologne. He closed his face in on the mirror to inspect his skin for any blemishes or to check if his eyebrows were overgrown. Duff couldn't help but stare at the countless scars that covered his chest and arms. If it weren't for the large round cigar burns, he would have felt perfectly confident. His upper torso was bulging with muscles, but Duff never considered himself sexy because of his scars. He knew that his scars meant that he was strong enough to overcome the abuse his father gave him, but there were so many, and it overwhelmed the idea of strength. Duff didn't feel strong whenever he looked in the mirror. He felt like an wimp. He should have never let his father burn him. He should have stood up to him, or fought back, or done something to defend himself. But all he did was take it, because he thought he had done something wrong and was being punished for it. He just hid it from his mother and cried as soon as he closed his bedroom door.

Duff shook his childhood memories away. He didn't want to feel depressed right before taking Abby out on their first date together. He should have been depressed, certainly, but for other reasons.

Duff didn't want to think about Abby leaving. It was possible that she was going to stay, but Duff always feared the worst, that way when the worst happens, he's already started to get used to the misery and it doesn't come as such a shock. He realized far too many times that when bad things come unexpectedly, they hurt a lot more than if you expect it sooner. Duff wanted to pretend tonight that there was no trial tomorrow, though. He wanted to pretend that he had a bright and happy future ahead of him with Abby by his side. He wanted to pretend that he was in love and no one was going to get in his way.

Duff decided to put his shirt on. It was a clean, wrinkle-free white cotton button-down. It reminded Duff of Abby's sheets. He smiled and remembered how good it felt to sleep with Abby in his arms and to wake up with her lips within kissing distance. He knew that Abby didn't mind his scars, and she thought of them as marks of courage. Duff wanted to feel Abby's lips on his chest, kissing and healing every single one. But for now, he needed to look proper for dinner, and a naked torso, scarred or not, was certainly improper.

Duff got on his pleated pants and fancy leather shoes, took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom. He went downstairs to get his essentials—wallet, phone, and keys to the boat that would take them across shore. He waited for Abby to finish getting ready and meet him downstairs. He kept checking his watch…it was seven-o-five. They needed to leave so as not to get to the mainland too late, and have enough time to eat and get back before morning. Duff figured they would be out all night.

He was too occupied thinking how women take too long to get ready, Duff didn't notice Abby come down the stairs.

"You look very dashing." She commented.

Duff turned his head and felt his jaw drop a little. He felt like for the first time he's ever seen her, Abby looked hot, and his eyes nearly melted. Her hair was let down loose, as usual, but it had a silkier shine too it. She played with her makeup and had sexy, smoky eyes and her lips looked even more plump and sultry than usual with the help of a rose colored lipstick, Duff guessed. Rather than wearing a loose, casual outfit, she wore a hip-hugging nude pencil skirt, nude stiletto heels, and a sleek white button-down similar to his, but it looked a lot sexier on her. It wasn't skin-tight, yet it accentuated the curves of her waist and breasts. Her bare legs looked silky smooth and Duff wanted nothing more than to feel and kiss them. The images that played in his head turned Duff on. He officially didn't want to leave the castle.

"Is my outfit that bad?" Abby asked. "You're staring at me like I'm an alien…again."

"Why te hell don' ye dress like tis more often?" Duff replied, in a sarcastic harsh tone. "Today ye decide te become eh vixen? Why couldn't ye 'ave done this months ago?"

"Because I wasn't comfortable dressing like this months ago, and frankly I don't feel very comfortable now." Abby looked away, embarrassed.

"Oh, don' start tis again." Duff remembered the last time Abby looked sexy in one of his family's Scottish tartans that she found hidden in one of the castle rooms. She was upset after Duff spit out and nearly choked on his coffee after seeing her walk in the kitchen wearing it. That day they were celebrating a Scottish holiday, and she refused to take place during the festivities. Bessie got upset as a result, and Duff had to convince her that not only was she beautiful, but that he considered her a part of the Killigan family and deserved to wear the tartan.

"Abby, ye look sexy…an' tha's eh good thing in meh book. There's nuthin' te be ashamed of."

"I guess I've always been shy of standing out or drawing attention to myself." Abby looked down. She remembered her past lives, and how color was never really on her wardrobe palette.

"Why nae? Ye deserve it. There's nuthin' wrong with bein' beautiful. Are ye afraid of people bein' jealous of ye?"

Abby shook her head.

"Are ye afraid of people bein' sexually attracted te ye?"

Abby thought for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe."

Duff remembered what she had been through in her past life. Maybe after being disloyal, she chose not to attract the attention of other men.

"Abby…" Duff walked closer. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. "There's nuthin' wrong wit feelin' beautiful. Eh promise ye tha'. Dressin' like this shouldn' make ye feel guilty, it should make ye feel confident. There's eh difference between lookin' like Jessica Rabbit an' lookin' like eh porn star." Duff's hands slithered down to her butt and he playfully squeezed. He leaned into her ear and whispered "Though tha' would be nice…"

Abby lightly smacked his chest a couple times. "Ooh, get off of me you! After smacking me earlier, if I get to stay after the trial you're not going to see skin for the rest of your days!"

"We'll see about tha'…" Duff chuckled and tried to grab her again. Abby screamed and swatted at him to stay away, but he took her by the hips and pulled her to his chest again. He kissed her passionately, and picked her up, holding her under the butt and forcing her to wrap her legs around him. He wouldn't let her down. Duff held Abby against him like they were magnets. Abby was appalled at the way he took her. She was out of breath, gasping for air for her heart beat fast like she just ran a mile. Duff got his chance to feel how smooth her legs were. As one hand supported under her, with his other hand he ran up and down her inner thigh alternating between his fingertips and his entire hand. As he kissed her harder, Duff got very heated and felt further and further up her leg. Abby gasped at the point where he started to rub against her underwear.

Duff looked up at her. Abby looked down at him, her eyes wide yet in a way mesmerized and hazy.

"…are we ever going to leave?" Abby whispered. Duff could tell Abby wanted to be touched, but she also was hungry and wanted her last evening with him to be at least a little romantic. And, when Duff thought about it, he didn't want her last memory of him to be a sexual one. He wanted to show her how he loved her, and not just physically.

Duff let her down and helped her straighten out her skirt. He kissed her again, but lightly this time. "Sorry…eh got carried away…as usual." He mumbled. Abby took his hand.

"It's okay…really." The way she looked at him told Duff that her guilty feelings had faded almost completely. She wanted him. She was turned on just by his one-second touch. Duff felt like carrying her upstairs and throwing her onto his bed, but he restrained himself. Maybe, just maybe, if he was good, he could have his dessert after he's had his dinner.

They left the castle and headed towards the shore where Duff docked his boats. Duff helped Abby step onto one of his fast motored cruisers. She sat down on one of the cushioned benches while Duff started the motor and drove out of dock and into the Atlantic towards the shore of the Scottish Highlands.

During the short ride, Duff thought about their moment earlier. He remembered feeling how damp she felt. The memory turned him on again. He looked over at Abby who was staring out into the sea, her hair wildly blowing in the wind. He wanted to stop the boat and take her now. He wanted to make love to her and rock to the waves crashing against the side of the vessel. He imagined driving the boat and surprisingly feel Abby's hands down there. He wanted her to feel how turned on she made him. He wanted her to take it out and taste him. He wanted to feel the warmth of her greedy, willing mouth.

Duff felt guilty thinking these things. He couldn't help being a dirty guy, after living such a sexually active life for so long. No matter what Duff always considered Abby an innocent virgin, even though he knew she wasn't…at least not in her past lives, anyway. Duff stopped to think about it; how does virginity work when you start a new life as a guardian? He decided to ask.

"Are ye a virgin?" he blurted out.

Abby nearly snapped her neck she looked at him so fast. "What?"

"Eh mean, eh know ye've had sex in yer past lives, but 'ave ye had sex as eh guardian before? When wus te last time ye had sex? Were ye mortal or were ye eh guardian?"

"Um….mortal." Abby was almost surprised to realize that herself.

"So how does tha' work? Don' ye become virgin again after bein' reborn inte eh new life? Like, when ye were reborn, ye were eh fully grown woman wit wings an' eh reset pussy, am eh right?"

"Duff!" Abby flustered and her eyes widened. Did he just talk about her…like that…that word?

"Whut? It's eh simple question!" Duff tried not to laugh. She was completely red from embarrassment.

Abby didn't answer. Partly because she was just so shocked to say anything, but partly because she didn't want to admit that he was right. At least, she thought he was. Abby hadn't really thought about her…body that way ever since her rebirth into guardianship. Sex never really came up in her new life anyway, not until Duff came along. Duff had been the only mortal who not only made her think about sex, but made her desire it ever since being mortal and losing her husband in her past life.

"Guardians don't tend to have sex for pleasure. If it will help with a mission somehow then yes, we can have sex, but usually it is looked down upon. Sexual desire is thought to be a mortal's emotional burden—that which ties you all to the Earth and it's creatures. To be a guardian you have to free yourself from all the worldly attachments and be pure cosmic energy." Abby said it plainly, looking away from Duff and instead out at the ocean. He could sense grief in her voice.

"Do ye miss havin' earthly attachments?" Duff asked.

"I feel guilty because I have earthly attachments…to you and Bessie. A guardian isn't supposed to feel that. We are expected to block it out…and I'm afraid my mistake will cost you the result of the trial."

"Abby…eh wouldn' still want ye around if ye didn' feel 'attached' te meh. Te whole reason eh want ye in our lives is because ye care about us an' ye have feelin's fer us. Eh wouldn' have fallen in love wit ye if ye weren't down on Earth, ye know whut eh mean?"

"But the elders still might punish you for my mistake."

"Then eh guess it wus eh mistake fallin' in love wit ye." He snapped.

Abby could feel the sting in her eyes. She felt pain grow inside of her. The wind blowing at her face annoyed her and she felt like falling off the boat and drowning in the ocean water. Duff realized what he just said…and in the middle of their date, too. He didn't mean to say that…it was just a comeback. He was annoyed that she spoke about the trial and herself with such negativity, he was angry and wanted to forget about tomorrow, just for a couple of hours. Duff slowed down the boat until it came to a slow halt.

"Shit, Abby…" he said, feeling like an idiot. "Eh didn' mean tha'."

Abby didn't respond. She kept her back to him and hid her tear-stained face towards the sea.

Duff sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Abby was a cold, frozen statue. Her eyes were red and strained. They looked sad, but also tired, like she was an eighty year old woman again.

"Abby…Abby ehm sorry. It wusn't eh mistake. Yer te best thing tha's ever happened te meh. Eh love ye…" he whispered. Duff took a strand of hair that hung loose in front of her face and tucked it behind her ear. He then took her hand. It was cold. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. "Eh love ye." He whispered again. "It's nae eh mistake fer bein' connected te people an' feelin' emotions an' desire. It's whut makes life so beautiful. Love is eh miraculous thing, an' te elders don' know eh thing about te meanin' of life if they think love is eh burden. They've had their hearts ripped out, like mine wus, an' they didn' get their chance te meet someone as wonderful as ye."

Abby turned to look at him. She gazed at him like a lost and disoriented animal. She nearly choked on her words. "I'm cold."

Duff immediately took his coat off and draped it over Abby. He soon felt the chilly ocean breeze, but he didn't care. He would rather have Abby warm than to feel cold himself. He would bear any pain for her. Duff then wrapped his arms around her and tried to warm her up by rubbing her arms and shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Abby." He mumbled. When she didn't respond, he tried again. He didn't want their date to end now. He didn't want Abby to leave after he said something like that. "Ehm an idiot…dye forgive meh? Ye can slap meh if ye want."

Abby smiled a little. "No…I won't slap you." She frowned again, thinking. "It's just…I don't know." She shook her head. "It's just…you remind me of him." Duff cringed a little. He didn't want Abby's past husband to come up again, especially not now. "And it hurt to hear you say that…"

"Did he ever say tha' te ye?" Duff asked.

"No, but…because of the things I did, sometimes I thought he wanted to say it."

"Ehm sure he didn'." Duff hugged Abby tightly to his chest, and he leaned against the boat while holding her. "An' even if he did…once ye fall in love there's no turnin' back ye know. Ye can' get outteh it. Ehm gonna love ye forever whether eh want te or nae." He joked. "So ehm stuck wit ye. But in no way wus fallin' in love wit ye eh mistake…eh jus' said it, eh didn' even think of whut eh wus sayin'…"

"It's okay. I know." Abby said. She leaned her head on his chest and felt him stroke her hair. "I know by now that you have a tendency of saying things you don't mean just to fight back. You like to start fights, you know."

"Whut? Eh do nae!"

Abby turned her head and gave him a 'look'.

Duff scrunched his face as Abby raised her eyebrow. "Okay maybe eh do…sometimes."

They sat there for a while, holding each other and bracing against the cold air. The hair on Duff's arm stood up and he had some serious goosebumps. It was chilly. Abby noticed his skin started to feel cold. "Do you want your jacket back?" she asked.

"Nae…keep it. Ye need it more than eh do."

"I don't know about that…you're starting to look a little purple." She looked at his face and noticed his skin had a berry-red tint to it, and it looked dull and dry. "Here." She started to take off his jacket, but he prevented her from doing so.

"No…" Duff kept the jacket closed so she could stay warm. "Please, Abby. Eh care more abou' ye than eh care abou' mehself.

"You shouldn't. You should care about yourself just as much as you care about me or anybody else. You're going to get sick as a dog without a jacket in this weather."

"Eh don' care, eh get sick all te time." Duff brushed it off.

"Well I care."

Abby took off Duff's jacket, then she started to unbutton her shirt. Duff wanted to ask what she was doing, but at the same time, she was unbuttoning her shirt…something he wanted to watch for a long time.

When she was done, she pulled her white cotton shirt off and revealed her low-back strap bra. Before Duff could get a good look, his body was wrapped in white fluffy, warm feathers.

"Hey…"

"Don't start with me. If you're not going to wear your jacket, I'm going to warm you up myself." Abby snapped.

"But now whut about ye? Yer nae wearin' anythin'."

"I'll be fine."

"Nae nae nae…don' go warmin' meh up wit yer magical feathers meanwhile yer the naked one."

"Well I'm not completely naked…"

"Bull. Yer close enough."

"Well unlike you, I can face the cold with immortality. You on the other hand, can freeze to death."

"Like ehm goin' te freeze te death in the middle of te sea, wit meh castle jus' eh couple miles away." Duff wrapped his arms around Abby's torso, under her feathery blanket. He felt her cold back. It was exposed to the chilly wind compared to the rest of her body.

"Well…you can still get sick."

"Whut an' ye can't?"

"Yes and no. Technically I can't, but I can make myself sick."

Duff chuckled. He was starting to actually feel very warm. "Ye know, sometimes eh don' understand ye."

"That's okay, I don't expect you to."

Duff chuckled some more. He didn't know whether it was from the cold, or from starting at Abby's shirt on the deck, but he really wanted her, right then and there, on that boat.

He started to kiss her. He felt like he had no reason to but at the same time every reason to. Abby was surprised and found it random. Duff was starting a habit of feeling desire at such random and unexpected times. It kept Abby on her toes a lot, and in a way she liked that. She didn't have to wait for a romantic moment to be intimate with him. He wanted her at all times of the day, through whatever feelings he was having. He was the kind of guy that would have romantic sex just as much as fighting sex or make-up sex or kinky sex. Duff didn't feel romantic. He felt like yelling at her for exposing her body trying to salvage his. He felt like they were playing a tug of war, and neither of them were winning. He decided instead to just cut the rope between them.

They were making out for a couple minutes and Duff rubbed her back and ran his hands all over her sides and tummy, trying to not only feel her but warm her up. He also gently touched her chest a little, and when Abby didn't rebel, he squeezed her breasts. With one hand he reached under her skirt and traced the lines of her underwear. Abby moaned a little, and he wasn't sure if it was because she was enjoying his touch or because he was going too far. He could tell, because he wasn't going to let his mouth leave hers for a second.

Duff supported her back and leaned over her until she was lying down on the deck of the boat and he was lying on top of her, while Abby's wings stayed around them and kept them inside a warm cocoon. They continued to kiss until they heard a loud, startling horn. Duff looked up and saw another boat passing them by. The driver honked and hollered at them. He shouted and whistled. Abby gasped, not because of the exposure of her body, but the exposure of her wings. Duff seemed to read her mind and immediately covered them with his jacket. He also gave the other boater his middle finger. The guy laughed and saluted sarcastically, continuing to sail on.

Abby quickly got dressed. After her wings melted back into ink, she put on and buttoned her shirt and straightened out her skirt before Duff could blink. She was a fast dresser. Abby didn't put his jacket back on…she picked it up and hung it on the back of the driver's seat.

"Ab—"

"I'm hungry. Let's just get to the mainland before it gets too dark like you said."

Duff felt like any luck he was having on this date was being stripped away fast. Everything was going downhill and he didn't know how to climb back up again. He and Abby kept encountering these awkward moments trying to be physical or just talk about anything besides the big obvious…this might be the last day Abby had with him. It nearly drove him insane not to think about it. He couldn't help himself. He wanted to be with her, physically, and he may never get the chance. He felt like it was all he could think or care about, but he knew that wasn't true. Duff wanted to have a nice romantic date with her without her body or the trial on his mind. He didn't think it would be so hard.

Duff didn't say anything, frankly because he didn't know what to say. He was cold but he didn't take the jacket. He sat in the driver's seat and started the boat's engine again. He rolled out and they sailed into sea again, without saying a word to each other, up until the mainland was in sight and they docked the boat in the harbor.

Duff helped Abby out of the boat. He grabbed his jacket, a little annoyed that she also refused to wear it during the cold ride. He automatically draped it over her shoulders. She tried to shrug it off, but he put his hands over her.

"Don' even think abou' it."

"Duff,"

"Jus' wear te goddamn coat, Abby!" he snapped. She looked a little upset, but he quickly tried to explain his outburst. "Ehm sorry but eh want ye te wear it. Ehm fine. Jus' please wear it an' don' be complainin' abou' how ehm goin' te catch eh cold. Eh stupid cold is nuthin' compared te whut eh've been through in meh life an' ehm sure whut eh'll be dealin' wit after tomorrow."

"You're still thinking about tomorrow?" They stopped walking and Abby turned to him.

"Eh'd love te stop thinkin' about it but eh can't. Eh want te forget it an' be wit ye like it's any other day but eh can't. Ehm sorry eh've been so…physical. Eh've always kind eh used sex as eh distraction, so eh wouldn' think about everythin' else in meh life tha' eh wanted te ignore. Ehm jus' confused, Abby. Eh don' know where te go from 'ere…eh want te take ye out an' have eh good time but eh can't stop thinkin' tha' eh won' be able te talk te ye or look inte yer eyes or kiss ye ever again…eh jus' can' fathom it…"

"Shhh…." Abby put a hand to his face. "Slow down, you're getting frantic." Duff looked a little on the insane side. He turned his face so his lips touched the palm of her hand and he kissed it. He didn't want to start crying now, but he wanted to.

"Abby…eh dunno how te say goodbye te ye…eh can't."

"We're not saying our goodbyes now."

"So, whut, are we goin' te wait till mornin' an' only 'ave eh few minutes te say goodbye before te trial begins? An eternity couldn' prepare meh te say te things eh want te say an' do te things eh want te do…"

Abby leaned in and planted a soft, calming kiss on his lips. He kissed her back and it melted away all his anxieties. This was what he wanted. He needed to be happy with her.

"Let's have dinner and not worry about tomorrow, okay? Just a couple hours of peace and good food…can you do that for me?" Abby asked.

Duff blinked away the water in his eyes and nod his head. He leaned in slowly and deeply kissed her again. "Ehm sorry…eh know yer hungry."

"Hungry? No no no…I'm starving. So move it buster or I might just have to eat you."

Duff's eyebrows flew off his head. Abby widened her eyes after a moment, realizing how what she just said could be interpreted so wrong.

"I didn't…"

Duff giggled a little. "Eh know whut ye meant but…" he snickered a little louder. Abby was so embarrassed it amused him.

"Oh shut your trap and walk!" Abby pushed him towards the town of Girvan, where the night awaited them.

Walking down the streets, Duff and Abby held hands. People walking by stared at the two of them, especially at Duff. They recognized him. They knew who he was. He and his siblings had gone to school up the road; Duff pointed it out to Abby and showed her the trail he and his sister used to take. They would take the back-road, away from the trail most of the other kids used to walk. Duff had too many 'encounters' with the other children. He pointed out his favorite shops and restaurants. They decided to go with one of Duff's favorite pubs called 'The Roxy' Bar. They walked in and sat down at a table. Abby watched as everyone turned to look and see who walked in, after hearing the bell in the door. Once they saw Duff Killigan, they couldn't look away. Duff was a celebrity in Scotland, but one of those poor always trashed-about celebrities because of his drug problems in the past. But it was difficult to call him a celebrity, because there wasn't humor on the people's faces. They showed fear. Instead, Duff was considered a criminal…a very dangerous one.

The people were so afraid that the waiter didn't even come to greet us. They all just stared and stared.

Duff sighed. "Ehm sorry Abby…eh knew this would 'appen. Eh don' want te cause eh scene or anythin'—"

"Excuse me, waiter?!" Abby shouted. The man nearly jumped off the ground. He was shaken as he walked over to them.

"H-how can eh help ye miss?" he asked.

"Can we get two waters please? And some menus?" Abby asked politely.

"C-certainly, miss." The waiter waddled over to his podium, took two menus and two drink menus, and brought it back over to them. He went into the back to get their glasses.

"Whut are ye doin'?" Duff asked her as soon as the waiter left.

"What do you mean 'what are you doing'? I'm hungry. I want to eat. Do not mess with me when I'm hungry."

Duff leaned over the table, closer to her, and whispered: "Do ye even need te eat? Eh thought ye were immortal?"

Abby sighed. "Guardians have bodies that are pretty much ninety percent human. I don't have to eat and I won't die, but I'll feel the pain of hunger."

"Ah." Duff slumped back in his chair and crossed his arms. Somehow he felt like a boy again.

The water came back with two glasses and a pitcher of water. He put the two glasses down on the table in front of him, and poured the water into Abby's glass first. He was about to fill it into Duff's glass when he grabbed his cup as if to refuse. The waiter shivered a little from the sudden movement. By accident, he splashed a little water on Duff's hand. Because he did this, the waiter shivered even more. He was a young, lanky kid. Abby could easily tell he was extremely afraid of Duff.

"Better watch where ye spill tha', lad." Duff growled.

"S-s-sorry sir. W-w-would ye like eh glass eh water, sir?"

"Eh don' drink anythin' eh didn' see prepared. Ye never know, righ'?"

The waiter widened his eyes a little and slowly nod his head. Duff calmly took the pitcher and filled his glass himself. He then handed the glass of water to the waiter. He took it and Abby could see the water crashing against and over the glass like waves.

"Drink it." Duff commanded. The waiter hesitantly nod his head, then gulped down the water within seconds. He handed the glass back to Duff.

"T-thank ye sir, eh wus very thirsty…"

"Then maybe ye should 'ave taken eh sip o' water earlier, instead of dirtyin' meh glass." Duff forced the glass back to the waiter and he nearly stumbled over.

"S-sorry sir,"

"Don' apologize. Get us eh bottle eh wine…yer best year…an' don' open it. Jus' bring it te the table."

"Y-yes sir…" the waiter quickly ran away into the back again, and Duff sat back down. Almost immediately he felt a sharp kick into his shin from Abby's stilettos.

"Ooww! Whut te hell wus tha' fer?"

Abby glared at him. "What did you do that for?"

"Do whut?"

"Bully him like that! You didn't have to order him around and be so mean."

"Ehm sure his father bullied meh ah some point." Duff growled.

"That doesn't give you the right to bully him! Don't you know the saying?"

"Whut sayin'?"

"…I don't know. There's got to be a million sayings I'm referencing to…something like, 'You are no better than the one who used to bully you throughout childhood if you are the one who later bullies their child?'"

"Tha's eh long an' very specific sayin'."

"I just made that up it's not an actual saying…you know what I mean."

Duff looked down and stared at the table for a minute. Then he looked up and around at everyone. Half of the room continued to stare or take quick glances, and the other half tried their best not to make eye contact. He saw some people on the phone, talking frantic. "Look at them…they're all afraid of meh. This town used te pick on meh an' meh family an' look at the reputation eh created fer te Killigans…look at how they treat meh now. They're afraid of meh."

"And what, you feel powerful from that?"

Duff frowned. "No…eh jus'…wanted te impress ye…eh dunno."

"Impress me? Duff…you should know me better than that by now. I like you because deep down I know you have a big heart. I've seen it. Deep down, you're a good person. You protect the ones you love and do the right thing."

"Right thing? Are ye sure we're talking abou' te same lad, here?"

"Look at what you did on the island! You risked your life to destroy the drones. You said they were your responsibility. You did the right thing to protect the world."

"Well eh haven't done te right thing all meh life."

"No, but who has? Everyone makes mistakes."

"Some more than others…"

Abby reached across the table and took Duff's hand. "Life is a journey. You've had a long and hard one. Everything is understandable."

"Eh love ye, Abby." Duff whispered. Abby was surprised that he said it so randomly. She blushed a little and smiled. She felt like a little schoolgirl with butterflies in her stomach because of a crush. She was about to respond when the waiter returned with the bottle of wine and a corkscrew.

Duff grabbed the bottle, a bit viciously, and took the corkscrew. He cut around the capsule and pulled off the cap, then gracefully wedged the screw in the cork, and twisted it a couple times until he was able to finally pull the cork out. It made a loud 'pop' noise.

Duff sniffed the contents of the bottle from the rim. He then poured a little into a glass, and handed it to the waiter with a sly smile. He took it nervously.

"Oh, stop." Abby stood up and grabbed the glass from the waiter. "Don't accuse this poor kid of poisoning your wine. If you want someone to test it, I'll do it."

Before Duff could say another word, Abby gulped down the sip of wine. Everyone was staring and waiting in such suspenseful anticipation. Abby handed Duff the glass, took the bottle, and thanked the waiter. He ran away as soon as he could, and escaped into the back again.

Duff stared at Abby. She stared right back and crossed her arms.

"What?" she asked. "You know poison couldn't kill me."

"Dye even feel if ye 'ave poison in ye?"

"Not right now, I don't."

"But if there wus poison in ye, ye could tell? Would ye feel pain?"

"I can't say, it's never happened. I probably would." Abby filled his glass almost to the top and she filled her glass the same.

"Whoa…Abby, ye know yer only supposed te fill te wine glass abou' half-way…eh standard serving is only like five ounces. This is like two drinks."

"And you're complaining?" Abby raised an eyebrow.

"It's…unusual fer ye te serve like this."

"Tonight is a…special night." Abby mumbled. She took a sip of wine…a large sip.

Duff looked at her strangely. She wasn't acting like herself. "…whut dye mean?"

"…nothing in particular." She took another sip and started looking over the menu.

Duff still looked at her. She knew he was looking at her but she didn't make eye contact. She pretended to be interested in what was on the menu, but Duff knew she was just trying to hide.

"…ye want te get drunk, don't ye?"

Abby looked up like a deer in headlights. "….no. I just think that…since tonight might be our last, we should—"

"Get drunk."

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say…celebrate."

"Celebrate? Ye want te celebrate te fact tha' eh might nae see ye ehgain?"

"No. Celebrate the past and the present. Celebrate that we got to…you know, find and know each other."

Duff raised an eyebrow. "Have ye ever been drunk before?"

"What?"

"Eh said, have ye ever been drunk before? In any of yer past lives?"

"Wha—well, I don't know. I suppose at some point…"

"Well it's nae eh fun feelin' when ye wake up te mornin' after. Eh don' want te feel like shit tomorrow. Eh want te have eh clear mind. Or at least…as clear as possible."

"So then why did you order this wine?"

"Eh didn't say eh wus drinkin' all of it."

"So you need to have a clear head, but you order a whole bottle of wine. Do you want to get me drunk?"

"Whut? No, of course nae…"

"Then why did you order this, if you want to have a clear head tomorrow and you don't want me to get drunk. Please, tell me so I understand."

"Where te hell are ye goin' wit all this? Where is this comin' from?"

"I just don't understand the importance of the alcohol."

"Eh wanted te have eh nice drink wit te meal! God, Abby! Whut's gotten inte ye?" Duff threw his arms in the air. He was so confused as to why Abby was starting an argument now, and for such a strange reason. He didn't know what he was doing wrong to make this date so terrible.

"You wanted me to drink the wine and get drunk so you could fuck me before I leave. Am I right?"

Duff widened his eyes. He couldn't believe she just said the 'f' word, for one, and that she said it loudly…in public. Duff felt a little embarrassed.

"Shh! Don' talk too loud. No, tha' wusn't meh intention. Calm down, Abby, please. Eh jus' wanted eh drink wit te meal. Eh'll have te waiter take te rest of te bottle when he gets back if ye like."

Abby stared at him for a while, a bit angrily. "…no. Leave the bottle."

"Why?"

"Because I'll drink it."

"Whut?"

"I said I'll drink it."

"Te whole bottle?"

Abby leaned back in her chair again and crossed her arms. Duff looked at her like she was crazy.

"Abby, eh understand tha' ye cannae die, but ehm warnin' ye, if ye do tha' ye'll ah least pass out. An' eh don' want tha'. There are only eh select few in tis world who can drink eh whole bottle an' nae get affected by it. Eh highly advise ye nae te try bein' one of those people."

"Oh and you are?"

Duff nearly exploded. "Abby, whut's te matter wit ye? Eh don' get it! Yer snappin' at meh all of eh sudden. Whut did eh do?"

Abby didn't respond. She looked away from him, a little hurt. Duff didn't understand. Was she doing this on purpose? Did she have a bad memory of alcohol from one of her past lives? Did she used to be a heavy drinker, too? An alcoholic? Why did she want to drink all the wine?

"Abby, if there's somethin' ye want te tell meh, ehm right here. Ehm all ears. Cuz' eh didn' do nuthin."

Abby still didn't respond. She looked even sadder. She didn't know what to say to him. She wanted all the pain to go away. She wanted to feel light, and bubbly, and happy. She took her glass of wine and brought it to her lips.

"Abby…"

She started drinking, and the wine kept flowing into her mouth. She didn't stop to pause or take a breath. The wine just kept disappearing down her throat. She kept gulping and she closed her eyes tightly like there was salt in them.

Duff grabbed her hand. He pulled the glass right from her lips and set it down. There was only an ounce or two left. A little wine had spilled from Abby's lips, so she quickly took a napkin and dabbed her mouth.

"Ye were an alcoholic an' ye never told meh." Duff said. He said it softly, even though he was angry. He knew the pain she had gone through. He felt the pain that he could see through her eyes.

Abby stared down the menu, but Duff ordered her to look at him. She glanced up.

"Tell meh." He snapped.

"I…I started drinking after my husband passed. I felt more relaxed and it took away the pain the more I drank. I don't want to lose you either…I don't want you to lose the trial. You said that you couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow, and I tried to calm you but now I can't think about anything else."

"Have ye been drinkin' this whole time? Livin' in te castle wit meh?"

"No. This is the first time I've wanted to drink since my past life."

"Why did ye accuse meh of wantin' te get ye drunk an'…ye know."

Abby held her head like it hurt. "I don't know…maybe I wanted you to have that intention."

Duff was surprised. He wasn't sure if this was Abby he was talking to or an alien life form. "Yer sayin' ye want te get drunk an' ye want meh te—?"

The waiter appeared at their table again, almost out of nowhere. "Have ye decided on y-yer meals yet?"

Abby looked up at him. "I'll have the crab-stuffed mushrooms for appetizer, then for dinner I'll have the Chermoula crumbled Scotch lamb filet, aubergine and tahini puree with shoestring sweet potatoes."

The waiter scribbled down his note and cautiously looked over at Duff.

"A-and fer ye sir?" he practically whispered it.

"Ye don' need te call meh sir, ehm sure ye know who eh am."

"M-mr. Killigan, sir." The waiter nodded his head.

"Err…eh'll take te Cullen skink an' cock-a-leekie kebabs."

The waiter scribbled down another note and scurried to the back. Duff and Abby looked at each other again.

"Well?" Duff asked.

Abby looked shy. She hunched over like she wanted to hide. "Well what?"

"Ye didn't answer meh question, an' eh would like it te be answered."

"What question?"

"Ye said tha' ye wanted te get drunk?"

"I guess…"

"An' ye wanted te have sex?"

Abby flushed red. "I'm sorry I was acting weird. Sometimes I say things I just feel like saying but don't really mean…or I say things that are from a subconscious level…" Abby held her head again. "I don't know. I guess it was like a two second fantasy I thought of. I don't want to be wasted-sick drunk, I want to be loose and happy and flirty…and in a way I want to have fun before tomorrow. Everything between us is always so serious and deep and emotional. I'd like us to just enjoy life for once and not worry about anything but that specific moment. You know what I mean? Like, just think about the now and not the later. Have that 'tomorrow could be our last' lifestyle…frankly because that's exactly what's to happen."

"Soo…let meh get tis straight. Ye want te get drunk…nae wasted, but enough where yer…ehm…'loose'."

Abby nodded her head, hesitantly.

"An' ye want te have sex…wit meh…tonight."

"I don't think the term 'sex' really describes what I want." She hinted.

"Err…make love?"

"….no."

Duff looked at her. At some point he thought he heard crickets they were silent for so long. It took him a while to think of what she 'wanted'.

"…Fuck?" he only mouthed the word. Saying the curse was never a problem for him, but saying it in the sexual context and saying it not only to Abby but about Abby made him uncomfortable.

Abby shifted in her seat.

"Ye mean like…"

Abby leaned her chin on the palm of her hand, with her elbow on the table. She looked at him with a blank expression and nodded her head ever so slightly.

"Like dirty-kinky?"

She nodded her head.

"Hard?"

She nodded it again.

"Alrigh', who are ye? Is this some kind eh stupid trick? Is an elder possesin' yer body er somethin'? Ye tryin' te make me fall inte some kind eh trap te get me er Abby in trouble?"

Abby took her elbow off the table and sat up straight. Her expression was still blank and emotionless.

"No, I'm just telling you that this is a desire I thought of for two seconds and I think that if we should do anything on our last day together it should be something wild."

Duff lifted up his arm and pinched it. He waited a few seconds, then pinched it again.

"Still here, lad." Abby commented. She drank the rest of her wine, then filled her glass again. Duff looked at her, then the wine, then back at her, then back at the wine again. He hesitantly took his glass and brought it to his lips. He smelt the strong grape odor. In a way, it surprisingly turned him off. The smell of the alcohol brought back memories he didn't want to have to think of ever again. The smell made him think of the amount of alcohol he used to drink in one sitting and how often he tried to drown his sorrows in whiskey or wine or scotch…whatever was in the cupboard at the time was what he drank, straight from the bottle. He thought of how he used to treat Bessie when he was drunk, and even if he wasn't drunk he still didn't treat her the way a father should have. Duff thought of how he even treated Abby when he was drunk a few times. In many ways the wine repelled him but at the same time he didn't want to think of the bad memories. He didn't want to think of tomorrow. He wanted to think of the 'now', and how hot it was to hear Abby say she wanted to fuck.

A little while later the waiter came back with their food. He carefully placed them on the table so as not to drop, break or chip anything. He was especially careful to not spill any food on either of them. He knew that would have cost him his head.

Abby dug in immediately. Duff forgot she was starving, mainly because she stopped reminding him and didn't complain. Duff ate his food slowly in comparison. He was hungry, but he found no reason to eat any faster than he normally would. They ate in silence and Abby finished all her food by the time Duff was only finished with his soup.

"Gee…did ye wunt dessert wit tha'?" Duff mumbled.

"Oooh, let's get a slice of pie. I love cobbler…let's get some blueberry cobbler." Abby read off the dessert menu.

Duff raised an eyebrow. She was acting a little too overexcited about cobbler. "Yer still hungry after eatin' all tha'? Ye had four stuffed mushrooms, lamb and sweet potato. Nae te mention all tha' wi…" Duff trailed off when he looked at the wine bottle. He didn't notice Abby pouring more and more wine into her cup during dinner. The bottle was almost empty.

"Oh! Oh! Your kebaby-ma-thingies look really good. Can I have some?" Abby asked.

Duff stared at her. "…yer drunk."

Abby didn't respond. She just poked at his food and awkwardly tried to steal some chicken, leeks and prunes from the metal stick. Duff started to laugh a little.

"Oh mah god…yer drunk!" He felt like he was in the twilight zone. Never in a million years did he expect to see Abby of all people, drunk. Unlike him, she was a happy drunk. She acted like a breezy Valley girl, and it was highly, highly amusing.

"Oh lassie…whut 'ave ye done…" Duff slowly shook his head and chuckled.

"Oh lassie whut 'ave ye done lassie!" Abby imitated in her best Scottish accent. Duff just laughed more. "You talk so funny. You're like, Guid day mah name is Duff, ehm really Scottish aye eh wear me kilt an' eat me haggis, an' eh live in eh big mean Scottish castle an' eh love te golf, aye eh do!" she mocked his accent and his heritage, and at any other time it would have offended him, but Duff couldn't stop laughing, watching Abby act so opposite from her normal reserved self.

"Ye goin' te eat tha'?" Abby asked, pointing at the rest of his kebabs. Duff pushed the plate to her.

"Ye take it. Ye need food in yer body te counteract all tha' wine. Jus' don' eat too much an' throw up."

Abby ignored him and just started chowing down on the rest of his meal.

Duff and Abby spent the rest of dinner finishing the wine and their food, and ordering a couple Scottish desserts. Duff felt so young and carefree. He felt like he was a teenager again, having drinks with a beautiful young girl and having the best time of his life. They snickered over jokes and played with their food. They made silly faces and seemed to laugh over absolutely nothing. There were times that both of them couldn't stop laughing, where their sides hurt and their eyes filled with tears. Hours passed by feeling like minutes. Eventually the pub had to close for the night, and they were kicked out. Duff felt carefree from the alcohol he finished, so he didn't give the waiter any fuss, and he remembered to give him a very handsome tip.

Duff decided to take a walk around town with her. He wanted to show her all the places he used to go as a kid. They walked past the park he used to play in with Carol, and the bushes he used to hide in when he wanted to hide from the kids in school.

"Eh felt safe in those bushes. If kids were chasin' meh eh'd hide in there…they were big an' bushy an' no one ever found meh. Sometimes eh would cut school an' spend meh day in there, or if eh wus upset eh'd run away either during recess or after school. Eh wouldn' go home. Eh didn' want te face meh Pa or Will. Some days eh wus ready te prepare mehself te spend the night in those bushes. Eh wanted tha' te be meh home. Eh felt safer. Only problem wus tha' it got cold some nights. Eh missed Carol an' meh Ma. Their warmth brought meh home."

Abby stood in front of him and stopped him in his tracks. She took his hands and leaned forward. "You want me to warm you up?"

Duff smirked and grabbed her by the waist. "Eh'd like tha'."

"These bushes are sounding pretty nice right now."

"Ye want meh te show ye where eh used te hide?"

"Is your hiding spot big enough for two people?"

"We might 'ave te squeeze eh bit…"

"I think we can manage that…" Abby grabbed onto his shirt and mumbled in a very suggestive tone. Duff had butterflies in his stomach and felt like fireworks were going off in his chest. In his head he was jumping up and down in glee.

He took her hand and walked her over to the bushes. There was a row of three large bushes and another even larger one behind them, so in between them formed a little cocoon to hide in. The bushes seemed a lot bigger when Duff was a child, and they weren't going to provide as much coverage as they used to. Duff didn't care. He nearly launched himself into the hiding spot and pulled Abby down with him. She practically landed on top of him and their lips met. Duff immediately started to make out with her, passionately. He lay down on the grass and Abby lay right on top of him. Duff didn't feel like holding back and being romantic. He reached under her skirt and did what he does best…pleasing the woman body. Abby reacted quite dramatically and moaned loudly. Duff muffled her with his kisses. They were in a park…he didn't want anyone to find them. Abby grabbed his arms and rubbed against his chest. She felt excited to be doing things in a public place. The idea that someone could catch them aroused her. Although, she did think of when they were on the boat and remembered that actually being caught wasn't the best feeling. But they were in a secluded area in the middle of the night. Unlike before, they were hidden enough where the idea of being found seemed less likely. They were also rolling around in dirt and leaves, and in a way it turned Abby on even more. Abby wanted to scream so loud from what Duff was doing. She had to bite down on his shoulder to keep herself from doing so. They didn't have a lot of room to move, but Duff knew exactly what to do to make her feel amazing. He was the one doing all the work.

"You have some skilled fingers there…" Abby mumbled. She was out of breath. Her heart raced a mile a minute.

"In eh few minutes eh'll show ye how skilled meh hips are too." Duff growled back. He grabbed her, squeezed her, spanked her, and quickly moved his fingers like he was playing a musical instrument. He then lifted her skirt higher and unbuttoned his pants. Abby embraced herself. She didn't just want this, she deserved this. She deserved to forgive herself and live again. She felt love again…and not just 'love', but 'in love'. She didn't dare to tell Duff that, however, because she knew it would break his heart the next morning when reality hit. Abby wondered for a second what changed her. Was it the alcohol that convinced her to give her 'guardian virginity' to Duff? She soon declined that idea, because she knew this desire came before the wine started to flow. But what made her forgive herself? What sent away the guilt? What made her feelings change from 'love' to 'in love'? Abby didn't have the time to figure it out, for Duff had made his way inside.

Duff and Abby lay down in the grass and watched the stars. The rough edges of the bushes surrounded them, and they kept each other warm with the help of Abby's wings. They circled around their bodies and beneath the wings they held each other close. Duff felt happier than he's ever been. He felt peaceful, like all the wars inside his brain ceased to exist. Nothing mattered anymore. He felt no stress or grief or pain. He felt healed completely, like he found the cure for his rare and difficult disease. Abby looked at the stars and thought about going home to the guardians. It all seemed like a dream. She didn't feel like a guardian anymore. She didn't consider the wings hers, or even as a part of her anatomy. She felt human again, and she had human desires. She wanted to stay with Duff. She wanted to live with him and be with him for the rest of his life, and she wanted to die with him too. She wanted to die and she didn't want to wake up in her next life and remember everything.

Abby thought about her guardianship as she relaxed. Sometimes Abby considered her memories a curse. It didn't make her wiser, but instead it made her feel a bit lonely. Being a guardian, watching over other people's lives and not having one of her own kind of defeated the whole purpose of life itself. Why was guardianship such a prize? It seemed more like a punishment.

"A punishment…" Abby mumbled. Duff looked over to her. He was confused and a little to hurt to hear those words after what they just did.

"Whut?" he asked.

Abby ignored him. Something had dawned on her and though she wasn't fully conscious on what it was, her brain blocked everything out. She stared right into the night sky but she felt blind. She felt strange but didn't know why, exactly. She sat up and stared into space, thinking. She couldn't see anything but the images in her head. Duff was alarmed at her sudden movements. Did he do something wrong? Was she tired of lying down with him? He took her hand and tried to pull her back down.

"Abby, whut's wrong?" When he didn't get a response and when Abby didn't budge, he started to get worried. He sat up with her and tried to shake her out of whatever trance she was in. "Babe, whut's wrong?"

"I'm just…thinking about when I was born. You know, into this life as a guardian. I remember it."

Duff didn't say anything, but he just watched her. He could tell something was wrong. Abby was acting different. He was at least relieved that her worries weren't about him…at least, it didn't sound like it.

"I remember waking up, like how you wake up in the morning after going to bed the night before. I felt like it was the best sleep I ever got. Everything around me was white, and people surrounded me. At first I thought I was still in the hospital, but then I started to actually remember my death, and the people around me were strangers. I started to cry, because I felt the pain of death. I felt it all over again. I felt losing my kids and then I thought of my husband, but…the more I looked at these people I thought maybe I'd gone to heaven or something similar to it. I thought I could finally be with him and for so long I searched for him. I didn't care at first what they told me about my new life. It was all kind of a psychotic blur. I just wanted to be with him again."

"Yer husband…" Duff mumbled.

"Probably not the best conversation to talk about right now…" Abby realized. She looked at him guiltily.

"Nah, go ahead." Duff brushed it off. Abby was sharing something special with him. "Besides, ehm used te bein' forgotten about after sex."

Abby looked even sadder. Duff smiled a little and pushed her to continue. Abby sighed and stared into space again.

"It's not my husband I'm thinking about…he's just part of what I remember of my birth. But I think about what the guardians told me. They never said…." Abby mumbled to herself. She was acting strange again.

"Abby are ye still drunk or something?" Duff was getting worried. He didn't seem surprised, though. Happiness always escaped him sooner or later, somehow.

Abby started to realize things more and more. Her eyes widened. Duff couldn't take the suspense. He shook her body like she was a corpse already.

"Abby? Whut te hell is te matter?"

"Hell…that's just it."

"Huh?"

Abby stood up. She didn't bother to brush herself off from the bushes. She stared out into the park like she was looking for someone.

"Abby whut are ye talkin' about?"

"When I became a guardian, you know, I was born with these amazing wings and I could fly, and they told me that my job was to watch over and influence lives, like an angel, you know? I was never Catholic and the religion isn't completely accurate in terms of what really exists after death, but it's pretty accurate for something humans figured out hundreds of years ago. There isn't a God that we serve or anything like that, the elders are the head of all guardians but they're not the head of everything. But from the beliefs that I learned about as a human, I believed that I was an angel. But that's just it! Everything I learned was created by human minds and not supreme beings."

"Err…okay," Duff was finding it a little hard to follow.

"Humanity isn't supreme. We made these beliefs based on what we thought was true about life after death and spirituality. And after being a guardian for so long I've started to question why this was considered salvation. What makes this 'heaven' so great? Because it's really not. Why is this job a reward? I mean, there's nothing rewarding about it. It's like slavery."

"Abby eh don' understand…"

Abby turned around and looked right at him. "Human belief would assume my role as a good one, right? I've got the wings, wear white, I'm your guardian angel, right? It's obvious."

"Err…"

"Wrong. When I was reborn into this life they never mentioned anything about angels or Heaven. They just told me what my job was and said these are the rules you have to follow…"

"Abby yer nae makin' any sense…"

Abby walked closer to him. She grabbed him by the cloth of his shirt and looked into his eyes with a glare so strong, Duff could almost feel it blazing right through him. She looked like a madwoman.

"Duff…I don't think I made it to salvation. I don't think the term 'guardian' is the same as your definition of 'angel'.I don't think I am an 'angel' at all…I think I'm a demon."

Duff looked at her like she was crazy. "…whut?"

Abby released her grab on him and paced back and forth in the park. "Think about it! The feelings I've been having about the meaning of life and the end of our soul's journey…I never believed for one second that guardians were at the end of the rope. I made a mistake in my past life…I wasn't loyal to my husband and now in my next life I am cursed to remember everything in such heightened detail; I miss my husband and my children and I regret all the mistakes of all my past lives. I'm cursed to be controlled by all the horrors of human emotion, and I'm forced to work. When you think of like, heaven…you don't think of having to work, do you? Or having responsibilities?"

"…no, eh don'."

"Exactly. In paradise your soul should be free. My soul isn't free. I'm chained to the throat and the elders are holding the leash.

"Abby, yer nae eh demon."

"Why not?"

"Because demons are evil an' yer te complete opposite of tha'. Yer te kindest person eh know an' ye've changed meh heart."

"Only to rip it out tomorrow."

Duff looked at her. Was he hearing correctly? This wasn't the Abby he knew, and it scared him.

"But that's humanity's version of a demon. Angels have wings and are kind and look over you and demons are red with horns, ugly and mean. No human ever figured out the truth. The guardians told me secrecy is of vital importance and anyone who knows the truth must either be taken from the physical plane of existence or be sworn to an oath of silence. No one has ever known and lived to tell the world or even write it down. The Earthly religions that humans have created, believed and worshiped for decades are simply made-up stories to try and explain the other worlds and its creatures. What you know isn't exactly the truth…what I know isn't exactly the truth. Just because I'm a guardian doesn't mean I know everything about being one. I was human, too."

Duff held his head. "It wus mind blowing enough te hear yer an angel…now this?"

"If I'm no angel, I can honestly say I have no clue who or what is, or if they even exist. Maybe there is no duality, maybe there are no separate worlds for the good and the bad. Maybe the idea of 'heaven' doesn't even exist at all…maybe we're all just slaves in the end." Abby laughed at the idea that peace is just a myth. "And here I thought after death we'd know all the answers."

"Why don' ye talk te one of te elders? Ehm sure Cathella would know."

"Maybe she does. But what makes you think she would tell me?"

"Abby…stop this." Duff stood close to her and played with a strand of her hair. "Frankly, yer goin' ah wee crazy righ' now. Lay back down wit meh an relax. We'll figure things out tomorrow."

Duff pulled her to him and Abby rested her head on his chest. "Do you think maybe, if we lose the trial, I'll be punished too? Maybe you'll forget me and I'll forget all my doubts and realizations about being a guardian…I'll start all over again and they'll curse me into being an ignorant slave for unending cycles…"

"Shhhh…" Duff stroked her hair. "Don' think abou' it." He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "Think abou' me instead." He smirked and kissed her lips. Abby sighed and lay her head against him again.

"I always used to be like this in my past life. I'd have a panic attack and it'd feel like my mind was about to explode with pain and confusion…I feel that now."

"Think abou' me…" Duff whispered. It was his turn to calm Abby, not the other way around.

Abby wasn't going to say anything, but she started to regret 'playing' in the bushes with Duff. It was highly likely that her feelings were a result of her panic attack. When she had them in her past life, Abby remembered how she would think things she really didn't believe. Subconscious worries surfaced and it felt like every possible negative thought was being surfaced at once. Or did she really make a mistake under the influence of alcohol? Abby couldn't remember ever being as drunk as she was.

"I want to go home…" Abby mumbled. Duff kissed her hair and nodded his head.

"Okay. It's gettin' late. Let's go home an' get ye some rest."

"Duff, I want to go home…"

Duff paused. He really didn't like this. This wasn't the Abby he knew, and not one he wanted to know. Was this 'demon' Abby? He was confused as well about the whole heaven/angel/demon thing. Or was Abby acting out because she was afraid for tomorrow?

Duff walked with her back to the docks. He helped her get into the boat, but before he started the engine, he had to ask her a burning question.

"Abby…whut did havin' sex wit meh mean te ye? Why'd ye do it?"

Abby looked right at him with worry in her eyes. She couldn't answer. She didn't exactly know herself at the moment.

"I…wanted to." she responded. It was a fair answer, because she wouldn't have done it if she didn't want to.

"But why? Wus it fun, like ye wanted te live ah wee bit before ye go back te yer guardian world? Or did ye do it because ye love me?"

Abby wanted to say she loved him. She had to. She felt it before. She remembered thinking about how she loved him, and she was wondering why herself. But after having a panic attack, her mind was a little untrustworthy. She was doubting her feelings. Did she love him or was she fooled just like all of Duff's other women in the past?

"No…I do love you." Abby argued out loud. "I've been with you and Bess for so long and I care about each of you deeply and I didn't want to leave you."

"Didn' or don'?" Duff asked.

"…don't. I don't want to be a guardian anymore. I don't want to be a slave. I want to be human again. I want to live and die by your side."

Duff took her hands and looked into her eyes. "Good." He leaned in and kissed her lips deeply. He breathed in sharply and held her face in his hands. He couldn't let her go, and he was going to make sure of it.

When they reached the island, Abby was so tired she nearly collapsed. Duff carried her in through the castle. They went upstairs and he put her in his bed. Duff didn't bother telling Abby she should undress or clean up, and he didn't bother doing so either. Both of them had a long, emotional night. Duff wanted the night to be perfect…the best night they ever had to celebrate their time together. Duff wanted to tell Abby how much he loved her, and how much of a better man and a better father he is now because of her. Even if he changed back to his old ways tomorrow, he wanted to let Abby know. He didn't want her to ever forget him.

Duff climbed in bed and held Abby against his body. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. He pushed hair away from her ear and put his lips to it.

"Abby…" he whispered.

"Mm…" Abby mumbled in return.

Duff kissed her ear gently. He wanted to say so many things, he didn't know what to say at all. He sighed and ended up saying the most important.

"Ah love ye."

Abby turned around to face him. She was so tired, she hardly had any strength to even move. She felt like a battery that's lost its power. She had never felt so tired in her many, many lives, and she didn't know why. Maybe it had to do with the trial. However, Abby did have enough strength to kiss Duff with all the power and passion she had left. Abby didn't know at what point her lips stopped kissing and her tongue stopped moving, and when she fell asleep, but what she did know was that she fell asleep with her lips still on Duff's.

The next morning Abby woke up, still in Duff's arms and his lips still touching hers. Abby stirred and felt groggy and grimy from the night before. She left her clothes on from her date and regretted leaving her makeup on. Her shirt was all wrinkled and half-buttoned. Her leather skirt had ridden all the way up to her waist. Duff's hands were around her hips and resting on the inside of her thighs. Her hells were off her feet but lying at the end of the bed. Abby stirred and woke Duff. He sleepily pulled her body close and tight to his, and kissed her lips hard.

"Let's stay in bed all day…" Duff mumbled.

Abby sighed. "The trial…"

"Ah don' care. Let's nae go…"

"We have to…" Abby whispered. She kissed his lips again, and again, and a few more times after that. Duff moaned and held her tighter. His hands explored her curvy body. He loved to feel her soft skin.

"No…" he mumbled again. "Nae after this. Nae after finally bein' happy an' findin' love wit ye."

"Duff, this isn't an option. You know that." Abby rested her hand on his cheek and looked him in the eyes. "You know I have to go back home."

"Home?" Duff lifted his head and looked at her, surprised. "Ah thought this wus yer home. Here. Wit me an' Bess."

"It is. I think it is. But it doesn't matter what I think. I'm a slave and my real home is with the other guardians. I don't want to leave either but there will be consequences if we don't show up."

"Like?"

"I don't know…it depends, I guess. But no doubt they'll make the both of us suffer."

Duff stared into space. He was trying to block the idea out of his head. He tried to prepare himself for today but he couldn't prepare enough for the amount of pain he was starting to feel.

"Ah can't lose ye." Duff mumbled.

Abby frowned. She honestly didn't know what to say, because she couldn't promise him to have hope. "Listen…remember there's always a chance you'll pass…"

He huffed and held her tighter to him. His act triggered him to cry, but he tried to mask it. "Ye think tha's really likely? Ye think ehm really capable of winnin eh mental battle against some lad tha's eh million times older than meh? Ye think ehm wise from te life eh've had? Eh life filled wit drugs an' crime an' hate…"

"That's not all of it. You have learned to love, too. I have faith in you. You're a brilliant man and you can accomplish anythget ring if you set your mind to it." Abby stroked the hair on the back of his head. "Just imagine it's just a test on philosophy. That's all it is. Just a test."

"Aye, an' yer the prize. Either eh lose ye or eh don't."

Abby frowned again. "I guess I'm losing my touch."

"Whut dye mean?"

"I guess I don't know the right thing to say anymore to make you happy."

"Oh, Abby…ye'll always make meh happy. Even when yer nae here, eh think of ye an' ehm happy. Let them try an' make meh forget ye. Eh promise eh won't."

"But Duff…how…?"

"Eh'll find eh way."

Abby sighed. It was no use trying to convince him that the elders would get rid of any note he wrote to himself or destroy any evidence of her existence. Abby wanted Duff to let her go with as little pain as possible.

Duff rubbed his face. "Whut time do we 'ave te be there?"

"In a few hours." Abby whispered. She felt too comfortable to get out of bed, too.

"Ah think we can make good use of tha' time…" Duff mumbled seductively. He started to kiss Abby again passionately. She smiled and kissed back, but in the back of her mind she didn't want to feel so close to him. If she lost him, the pain would be that much stronger. She didn't want to lose anyone else she loved. She needed to start distancing herself and expecting the worse now, so after the trial it would be less of a shock.

But she didn't want to stop kissing him. It felt amazing. It felt so good to sense Duff's warm hands all over her body, squirming around under the sheets. She felt young and happy and carefree, like nothing else mattered in the world but love. Duff wouldn't let her leave his arms even if she wanted to. They breathed heavy and felt like the air was steaming in their lungs. Abby loved to hold Duff's muscular arms and run her hands over his chest and it made him go wild. He desired every inch of her body and crept under the covers. He was craving his dessert again.

Less than an hour later Duff and Abby lay stretched out on the bed again, holding each other. Duff was lightly kissing her neck and jaw, so light it felt like butterfly wings brushing against her skin.

"I feel like this is a dream. I feel like it's all been a dream." Abby mumbled. "When I look back, everything is hazy like how you wake up in the morning and just feel memories from a dream but you don't know what they were and their images barely escape you."

"Ye sayin' ah don't feel real enough for ye?" Duff mumbled back, sarcastically insulted. "Talkin' abou' hurtin' ah man's ego."

Abby rolled her eyes at him. "That's not what I meant."

Duff smiled. "Ah know." He stroke her hair sadly like he was petting a dying pet that he's loved and cared for so long. His smile turned to a very distinct frown. Abby also frowned in response and put her hand to his cheek. She looked into his eyes and tried to tell him that she loved him.

"Ah feel like when ye say tha', it's a motherly way of sayin' it. Ye've kind of been like eh mother te meh fer so long. Or like meh sister."

"My job was to protect you. I was assigned to care about this family. Of course I mother you and Bess." Abby smirked. "But it's not just that kind of love. You know it isn't. If you didn't I'd have to start asking questions."

Duff chucked a little and buried his head into her bosom. He moaned and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Abby?" they heard a familiar voice. Duff immediately lifted his head and they both looked to their left and saw Bessie standing in the doorway. Duff scrambled off of Abby and covered her with sheets as if trying to hide her. He was embarrassed that his daughter walked in on him with Abby, even though she's walked in on him with women when she was a lot younger, with a lot more grotesque images for just a girl. Duff quickly thought about the abusive exposure he used to give her and for a second he thought he didn't deserve to be happy. Maybe losing Abby and stripping away his greatest happiness was a punishment for all the terrible things he did in life, like being a terrible father.

"Yes, Bessie?" Abby asked, holding the sheets around her tightly. Bessie didn't seem to mind. She was used to it.

"When are ye leavin'?"

"Oh…I don't know, we'll be leaving for the trial soon, sweetie."

Bessie looked down. "Ah just want te make sure ah say goodbye before ye go."

"Bess I would never leave without saying goodbye." Abby couldn't understand why Bessie would even think that she would leave without telling her.

Abby's stomach then started to growl. She put a hand to her stomach. "Why don't you meet us downstairs, Bessie. We'll have a little breakfast and talk before we have to go."

"Okay. Can ye make chocolate chip pancakes?" Bessie asked with wide, hopeful eyes.

Abby smiled. "Sure. Anything you want I'll make."

"Ehm goin' te miss yer cookin'…" Bessie mumbled as she walked out the door. Duff then turned to Abby.

"Whut's tha' supposed te mean? Meh cookin's good…"

Abby laughed a little. "You let me cook all the meals for a reason. Remember the cookie incident?"

"Ah never baked before!" Duff defended himself. Abby laughed and fell back onto the bed. Duff fell back with her and sighed.

"Ehm goin' te miss havin' memories of ye. Well…ah guess it wouldn't matter after te trial. If ah can't remember ye, ah can't miss ye, right?"

"Have hope." Abby took his hand and squeezed it. She looked over at him but he was staring at the ceiling.

"Ah don't have hope fer winnin' te trial. Who am ah goin' te fool, sayin' tha' ah have a chance? Ah jus' don' want te forget ye. Tha's whut's killin' meh. Ahm tryin' te figure ah way…"

"Duff…" Abby squeezed his hand. He looked over at her. "Stop worrying and focus on winning the trial. Don't always expect the worst."

"Why? Every time ah get somethin' ah've always wanted it gets taken away. They're takin ye away from meh an' ah know there's nuthin' te hope fer. Ah have no chance of happiness, ah never did. Ah've learned te prepare mehself so te pain doesn't hit too hard, but ah don' know if ah can prepare mehself enough fer this. But if ah won't remember ye, then ah guess te pain won' be so bad."

Abby watched him with sad eyes. "You do deserve happiness. And you have just as much a chance of winning that trial as the elders do. They don't judge your past or hold anything against you or base their decisions on prejudiced opinions. You just have to show them how wise and how great of a man I know you are. You have been through so much in your life and have learned a lot. You just have to know whats important in the end."

"An' if ah don't?"

"Then you need to spend your time before we leave thinking about that. I'll be downstairs with Bess when you're ready."

With that, Abby covered herself with Duff's bed sheet, grabbed her clothes off the floor and left the room.

Abby mindlessly flipped pancakes. She tried not to think about Duff or the trial and instead focused on worrying about the chocolate that was sticking to the bottom of the pan.

Bessie was waiting eagerly at the table. She was really going to miss Abby and her cooking, unaware that if her father lost the trial, she wouldn't remember Abby at all, and her father would return to his old ways. Abby was confident that Bessie was strong enough to make it through life without a guardian, no matter how much pain she would have to go through. Abby's original mission focused on Bessie, a miracle child, an innocent angel spawned from what seemed to be the devil himself. But Abby truly believed that her destiny was to help Duff. He was the one that needed a guardian. He may not have deserved to be blessed with such a divine care, but everyone deserved a chance at peace and happiness. Even people like him.

"Abby, are you upset that you're leaving?" Bessie asked.

Abby turned around and looked at her, confused. "Of course I am, Bess. Why are you even asking me that? Do you think I'm happy to leave? Do you doubt my love and care for you and your father? You've been asking me a lot of questions lately that make me think you feel that way."

Bessie looked upset. She didn't want to tell Abby how she felt. It was embarrassing to admit. "Ah just feel like ye know somethin' an' yer nae tellin' us."

"What do you mean?"

"Did the elders reassign ye te ah new fam?"

"No, they didn't. What, you think I'm secretly excited to leave this family and move on to the next one?"

"Ye said ye liked new things."

"I said I liked it when your father did new things. I like it when he's unexpected and tries things outside of his comfort zone because it shows me that he's growing and changing as an individual. I like to see him experience life like he's never done before, and I'd like that look in your eyes, too. The only thing I want is to be human again, and be a part of this family and have a normal life. I've been cursed with these divine responsibilities to serve mankind. It's not a reward, Bess, it's a curse. I don't want to leave and start all over again with another family. Because unlike you and Duff, I have to remember everything and feel the pain of being away from you!"

Bessie crinkled her eyebrows. "Whut dye mean 'unlike meh an' dad ye have te remember'?"

Abby's eyes widened in horror. She didn't mean to say that in front of her. She wasn't supposed to know. "It's just…part of being a guardian, you remember everything about all your past lives and missions and your emotions are heightened because of it. I just mean that missing you and your father would be ten times the amount that you'll feel for me, and the pain will be that much greater."

Bessie lowered her head. "Bein' a guardian don' sound like a lot o' fun."

"No…it's not. But if it wasn't for my life as a guardian, I would have never met you." Abby stroked her charcoal black hair.

"Ye never know…destiny 'as a funny way of workin'."

Abby smiled. "Right you are." She kissed Bessie's hair and hugged her tight. Then she rubbed her arms and shook her a little, playfully. "Now eat your pancakes before they get cold."

Bessie smirked. She was going to miss Abby's motherly orders, too. She dug into the plate of pancakes in front of her while Abby finished cooking the rest of the batch.

The two sat at the kitchen table eating and talking for the next hour. Duff never came down to eat his share of the now-cold pancakes. Abby was a little worried, simply because she had such a strong habit of watching the man, and when she didn't see him or know where he was and what he was doing, she couldn't relax. But, Abby knew that he was, or at least she hoped he was taking the time to really think about what he was going to say at the trial. She felt so terrible for leaving him. She knew the pain he was going through was unbearable. She knew he was so happy to have her in his life and that leaving him would have scarred him for the rest of his life if he remembered her and lost the trial. Duff keeps telling her that it didn't matter, because he wouldn't remember her anyway. But Abby just feared for the few seconds after Duff was told that he lost, and Abby would be taken from him, and he had to come to the hellish reality that he would go back to being the old Duff, and that hope for him would soon be virtually impossible. She didn't want to see the look on his face when they dragged her away, and he began to realize that he wasn't the only one who was going to be punished. Abby knew they would teach her a lesson for exposing the guardians. But she wasn't worried about the pain. She was worried for Duff's life. She needed to be there for him—she felt it. She felt a strong need that attracted her to him, like it was her destiny to be with him and not to move on with her guardian life. She couldn't forget him. It was impossible. Abby felt like they were opposite ends of a magnet and that their match was inevitable. It wasn't just because she loved him. It was different, it was spiritual. From what Abby knew about destiny, she always had a way of knowing what hers was.

It was close to noon. Abby went upstairs to change into her guardian uniform, consisting of ivory pants and a low cross-strapped bra, woven in the finest materials made in the clouds. There was a special tailor that lived in the fluffiest clouds and hand-made all the guardian uniforms. They were also woven with special materials which determined your place in the guardian realm. Abby's uniform was different from the robes the elder's wore over their backs. It had a duller shine.

Abby waited outside the castle. She stared out at the ocean and her wings were out, its feathers trembling in the cold wind. She waited for a long time. Abby didn't want to have to go back inside to find Duff and disturb him, but they had to leave and the elders had very little respect for the tardy.

Abby turned around to head back, but she was struck with surprise when she saw Duff standing right behind her, and she nearly toppled over him.

"How long were you standing there?" Abby asked, a little creeped out. "You made my heart stop, I think."

"Ah suppose it wouldn' kill ye even if ah did." Duff mumbled.

Abby didn't laugh at the joke. "I'm not a fan of people sneaking up on me." She sighed. This wasn't how she wanted to end things with me. "Duff, I'm sorry,"

"Ahm sorry fer sneakin' up on ye. Ah didn' mean te. Ah've just been doin' a lot of thinkin', mah brain is ah wee blank."

"I hope it won't be blank at the trial…"

"Tha's whut ehm savin' mah energy fer."

Abby sighed. They still weren't getting any better at saying goodbye ahead of time. But Abby understood that Duff was shutting his emotions off. He didn't want to feel the pain that he knew was going to hit him very hard, very soon.

Abby was about to grab him and take flight when she noticed something. Duff's right upper arm was wrapped in bandages, with extra bandages layered over his bicep.

"What is that?" Abby asked.

"It's nuthin'."

"What did you do?" Abby snapped like a gator. Leave it up to Duff to do something stupid right before a sentimental moment for the both of them. Always trying to protect against the pain.

"Ah said it's nuthin'. Ah accidentally cut mah arm on somethin'."

"That is no accident. There are way too many bandages for an 'accident'. What the hell did you do? Cut yourself? Did you try to hurt yourself?"

"No." Duff responded calmly. He was so emotionless it just wasn't worth arguing about. His face was dead. "Ah didn' try te hurt mehself."

Abby silently growled to herself. She was infuriated, but she didn't want to start an argument now. She wrapped her arms around Duff's stomach and took flight. He was taken aback by the sudden moved, and squirmed in Abby's arms.

"What's the matter, afraid of heights?" Abby snapped again.

"Ah can't say, ah've never been suspended in te air before jus' from someone holdin' onte meh. Ye don' have ah harness or anythin'?"

"What am I, a jet plane?" Abby was angry at him. She floated above the island with him as he got comfortable with his body.

"You need to straighten your body out, as if you were laying on your stomach. I'm going to be flying horizontally."

Duff did his best to level himself but he was obviously still nervous about not being in something as secure as a plane. Abby didn't get his logic; she was much safer and more reliable than a plane.

After flying over the ocean for about twenty minutes, Abby broke the silence.

"So now are you ready to tell me what you did to your arm?" Abby asked.

"Ah didn' cut mehself."

"Okay. So then what did you do? And don't tell me it was some accident or I will drop you so help me."

Duff groaned. "Fine, so it wusn't an accident. Ah did it on purpose—"

Abby was so angry that she let go of her hold on Duff. He fell fast, down towards the icy cold roaring waves. He yelled. She wanted him to be scared. Abby waited a few seconds, then she swooped down and caught him again. She rose back to her normal height while Duff squirmed and cursed.

"Whut te fuck did ye do tha' fer?!"

Abby tightened her grip on Duff's abdomen, squeezing into his diaphragm. "Life is precious, Duff!" she yelled, enraged at his behavior. "Just because you're afraid to go back to your old ways doesn't mean you have to start reverting back to them now! What makes you think that even though I may only see you for another couple of hours, I'd allow you to go ahead and start diminishing yourself?! What was it, did you stab yourself? Did you spend all that time hurting yourself instead of really looking back on your life?"

"Ah wus thinkin'! But ah also needed somethin' te focus on."

"So you injure yourself to focus?!"

"It's nae about te pain. Physical pain is somethin' ah deal wit so much, ah can barely feel it. It's te emotional pain ah can't handle. An' if ah don' focus on somethin', ah can't think because ehm thinkin' too much 'bout bein' miserable. Ah don' think meh life would be so bad if ah could only remember ye. Life wit havin' te memories of ye would be better than nuthin', even when ehm back te meh old ways an' maybe ah don' know ye jus' as much. But ah want te wake up every mornin' an' see yer face, even if it's nae there. Even if ah don' know who ye are, ah want te see yer beautiful face"

"Duff…what did you do?"

He wouldn't answer. He didn't want her to know the truth of what he really did.

"Duff!"

"Okay, fine! Ah stabbed mehself, ye happy? Ah had ah slip-up, ah wus thinkin' about how ah used te be an' ehm already depressed jus' thinkin' about it, an' ah wanted te hurt mehself."

Abby was enraged. She wanted to drop him again, and let him fall further than before. She felt like she had accomplished organizing Duff like a nice ball of yarn, and he was uncontrollably unraveling again. Abby felt like all her hard work was useless. She didn't know what to say. She had nothing to say because her time was up. Nothing she said would matter anymore because if Duff lost the trial, he would forget it all. Abby had this terrible gut feeling that Duff would lose. But she had to have hope for him, because hope is all they had left. It wasn't worth putting their energy into anything else.

Duff listened to Abby cry silently. He felt bad for lying to Abby about hurting himself, because that's not what he did. He didn't know if he could get away with it or if the elders were psychic and already knew, but Duff figured the less guardians knew the better. Who knows? Maybe guardians are telepathic between each other, and if Abby knew, the other elders would know too. Endless thoughts swirled around in his mind. When he was hiding in his room, he burned a few herbs and incense that his grandmother taught him about. She left behind a countless number of books revolving around spells, rituals and herbs. Cathella had also taught Duff how to use a number of herbs, and left her collection with him. Duff had burned some rosemary, hyssop and sage in his room to cleanse and protect from anyone watching him. He didn't know if herbs really worked or not, but he figured it didn't hurt to have faith in his grandmother's teachings.

Duff soon realized that he couldn't see the ocean anymore, or the other Scottish islands sitting on the horizon. All he could see around him was like thick fog, and he realized they were in the clouds. He felt damp flying through them, for he knew clouds were made from water particles or something like that. For a long time he couldn't see anything but the whiteness, but as Abby flew forward, there was something in the distance that stood out to him. It wasn't completely clear at first, but when they got closer he could start to see a mixture of light and the milky white clouds, swirling together and rotating continuously. He felt like he was Peter Pan entering into Neverland, except Neverland's entrance looked like a magical void that led to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. The swirls reminded Duff of a giant vanilla lollipop. Abby flew closer and closer and Duff closed his eyes, unsure of what would happen when they entered through.

A minute passed by. Duff felt nothing strange and no pain. He was afraid to open his eyes at first, but finally chose to be brave and open them. When he did, he immediately felt like he was in a dream. It was like blinking and suddenly the world around you has changed. When he opened his eyes Duff knew he wasn't on Earth anymore.

Floating in the air on the clouds were castles made of stone and adorned with gold roofs and windows. There were more towers than there were boxed floors. The towers were thin and tall. Some of them reached so high, Duff couldn't see the tops, mainly because the clouds covered them.

"Ah don' suppose ye get planes comin' in every so often by accident?" Duff asked.

Abby mumbled her response. She was still upset thinking about Duff's undoing. "No. The entrance is like the matching end of a magnet. It repels anything trying to come forward that isn't a guardian."

Duff wasn't only amazed by the El Dorado-like city, but by the guardians flying around. What surprised him was that almost every guardian was naked, and simply flew with their amazing wings with nothing to cover their bodies.

"Why are all of them naked?" Duff asked.

"For the same reasons humanity has its political or religious groups today. Here, some guardians believe in the tradition that we are a pure race, and that the idea of clothing was created by the humans to cover their bodies which were found embarrassing, or more likely too seductive. Here, most guardians have shut off human emotion, which they refer to as nature's obstacle, and so they are not distracted and swayed by sexual desires when seeing or being so close to the naked body. Human society today repels showing off its pure form for reasons many guardians don't understand, even though they were a part of that society themselves. Also, the climate here is never too wintry, and our bodies do not feel the pain of cold, so for survival reasons clothing is not necessary."

"Then why are ye wearin' clothin'?"

"Because I do not share the same beliefs with these guardians. I, like the elders, believe that clothing keeps us from being distracted by the body. Not for just sexual reasons, but we believe that the human body is fascinating, and that each body is different and amazing like a work of nature's best art. But, clothing is manily used as adornment. My outfit distinguishes me from the elders. It has a different style and a simple design from simple materials. That shows all other guardians my place in the realm. Every guardian has their own beliefs on clothing. Personally, I have worn clothing in all my human lifetimes and see no reason to stop simply because I have wings. My body is still an evolution of the human's. But sometimes I think how it is only mankind that wears clothing, and that animals and plants are not burdened with this. In fact, some creatures repel the useless ornamentation. Some argue that animals are lower on the scale of evolution, and only care for survival. Animals have fur and do not require clothing to keep warm like the first of humankind did. Now that humanity has evolved, clothing has become less of a survival but more of a decoration or a sign of social status and wealth. However, guardians believe that every living creature despite its place on the scale of evolution is equal to one another. So, many guardians feel that clothing separates us from other creatures or makes us seem as if we believe we are greater. I just simply feel uncomfortable being naked all the time, but that's most likely just my leftover human emotions. Many of the guardians you see 'naked' here have been around a long time."

Abby had flown towards a great columned building. They landed on the steps that ascended toward the 'courthouse'.

"Ah thought te elders were te ones who 'ave been around ah long time."

"Not necessarily. Elder position is based on overall wisdom. Your grandmother is an elder and she has not been one for very long. If I wasn't so attached to my past lives and Earthly attachments, I'd probably be an elder too."

"Ye know, sometimes yer a bit of ah two face. One minute yer te Abby ah know, an' te next yer an other worldly, divine creature full of great wisdom an' knowledge…" Duff chuckled. "Ah don' mean tha' in ah bad way, but it's weird. Ah guess even after all tis time, ehm still tryin' te get used te the whole guardian world an' te fact tha' yer one of these guardians an' all these beliefs tha' ah don' know about in yer world exist. It's jus' weird."

Abby looked down. It took all her strength to try and forget about Duff's arm and move on. This could be their last goodbye, standing on those steps leading up to court. She took her hand and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Duff…I will always be watching over you…no matter what."

Duff looked at her. He was finally realizing that this was it. This could be the last moment he saw or remembered Abby forever. He felt oblivious to the pain that would eventually be nonexistent, but at the same time his heart raced and expanded and exploded at the same time. He felt like he was getting a heart attack. He was getting old, after all. He felt like a child again, overwhelmed by the hot tears that stung in his eyes, unable to breathe stably, and feeling like his head was going to burst from the amount of confusion and paranoia and pain. He felt dizzy. He thought he was having a panic attack.

"Abby…Abby ah can't…"

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his body close. He hugged her tightly and didn't want to let go. He wanted to feel her soft skin for the rest of his life. He didn't want her to just be a faint image in his dreams.

"Abby ehm nae ready te give up meh happiness…" Duff nearly choked on his words, overwhelmed by tears.

"Then don't. Win this for us. I have faith in you." Abby kissed him gently on the lips. "You are stronger than them."

She took his hand and together they marched up the steps to the courthouse. Duff breathed in and out heavily, focusing on his sadness and trying to turn it into strength, but it just felt like anger.

When they reached the top, Abby entered through the double doors with him and were admitted into a giant stone lobby. They passed through other guardians that bowed to them, and entered through the next double doors straight ahead. The doors were solid gold. Duff looked up and around and the infinite dome ceiling in the court room, painted elaborately with a magnificent sparkling design. At the very end of the room, a row of twelve elders sat on golden thrones suspended in the air several feet by pedestals. Among those elders was Cathella Killigan, watching over Duff with sad eyes as he walked into the room, as she considers him still her grandson, even though she has moved onto a new life.

Abby led him to the front where she told him to sit down below the elders. The set-up was a bit different than a regular human courtroom. Instead of there being separate areas for the defense, the plaintiff, the judge and jury, it was simply the row of elders and Duff. It was them versus him. Duff was already beginning to think it was unfair.

Abby flew to the side of the courtroom. A couple of other guardian 'bailiffs' stood by her and on the opposite side and by the doors. Duff sat down silently in his chair and it seemed like he was waiting forever for someone to say something. He looked over at Abby but her head was down. He looked up at the elders and they were discussing with each other, probably about him. The wait was gnawing at his stomach from the inside out like a parasite. He didn't want to be disrespectful and ruin his chances of winning by speaking up first or asking when they were starting. It wasn't like he was late for anything. Even if he was, Duff had no way of leaving without winged help anyway.

It seemed like forever, and Duff felt like his stomach was so eaten up it wasn't even there anymore. He just felt painful butterflies floating around his insides with their razor-sharp wings. He cringed, wanting to get this over with. And as if the elders could read his mind, his chair suddenly suspended in the air, many many feet until he could see the elders eye to eye. They all stared down at him, except for Cathella, who still looked sad. Duff looked down and saw Abby. She was now looking up at him with a scared expression. Duff didn't feel lucky.

"You know why you're here, I'm sure." One of the elders spoke first. Their voice boomed and echoed across the entire courtroom.

"Aye." Duff gulped. He had to admit, he wasn't intimidated easily, but this elder intimidated him. He had a young face, a strong jaw, deep-set eyes, but the mind and voice of a scholar.

"Duff Killigan, human from the Earthly realm, you are on trial for knowing of the guardian race, a secret forbidden to humans, and keeping one of our own from completing her mission and continuing on to the next subject."

Duff wanted to open his mouth and argue that none of that was his fault, but Duff knew he wasn't arguing with any normal judge. This was a powerful, supernatural judge, and Abby was on the line.

"Your soul has cost Abigail her place in the guardian world, and this trial will reflect on her existence as well as removing all traces of memory of her passed wisdom and blessings on you as well as your biological daughter, Elspeth Killigan."

"Whut?" Duff widened his eyes. Abby never said anything about her being punished after the trial. He looked down at her—she wasn't making eye contact. She lied to him. She lied to protect him, but now Duff felt more vulnerable than ever.

"Duff Killigan, you will be asked one question, and based on your complete response the elders will discuss and determine if you are wise, honorable and trustworthy enough to be the only human keeper of our secrets, and Abigail will be your family's guardian for as long as you desire. This trial has began." With that, the elder slammed his hand on the arm of his throne, which unexpectedly created a loud 'bang', nearly just as startling as his voice.

Duff gulped. He didn't feel like he was ready. He was more nervous than he's ever been in his entire life. His body shivered, but he wasn't cold. Instead he was hot and clammy. It was worse than waiting to receive a test in school when he was a boy.

"Mr. Killigan, here is your question…What is the meaning of life?"

Duff blinked. "Err, ye mean meh life or life in general?"

The elder stared at him. "Whatever you believe will adhere to the best response."

"Well…if ye mean te say life in general, dye mean human life or all life? Like humans an' guardians an' everythin' else livin? Or do ye mean also non-livin' things too? Or dye mean…"

"LET ME just rephrase the question, Mr. Killigan. What life lesson have you learned from human life? NO more questions. You may take time to think, or think aloud if you wish. Please provide any and all answers that come to your human mind."

Duff decided to think out loud. He felt like his mind was too hectic, filled with thoughts shooting in every direction that it was impossible to think let alone keep everything in his head. "Well…if yer talkin' about life in general, it's funny te think abou' why life wus created in te first place. Whut's the point of creatin' plants an' plants evolvin' inte bacteria an' bacteria evolvin' inte fish an' fish evolvin' inte land creatures until millions o' years later here we are, te human race. Society has tis belief tha' we are a civilized people, we wear clothes an' we go te school te learn, we eat on plates with forks an' knives an' spoons…but whut's te point of all o' this?" Duff lifted his hands in the air and looked around him. He chuckled. "Ah don' get it. Ah never did. But most people like mehself don' worry abou' te meanin' of life or who controls te universe or whut happens after death…ah really never thought abou' any of it until Abby sprouted wings an' told me she wus from another world. There are ah lot o' people out ther who do think about their spiritual beliefs but ah wus never one of 'em. Gram taught meh ah lot when eh wus eh lad, but ah always thought she wus ah doctor talkin' about all those herbs an' strange rituals she did…tha's one of te reasons why I got ah medical degree. Since ah wus ah lad, ah wus always fascinated by te powers of healing an' how fascinating te human body wus. Now, call meh selfish, but when ah think abou' it, all tha' really mattered in life te meh wus love. Ah mean it changed back an' forth ah wee bit an' ah got sidetracked…it's nae like findin' love wus meh goal in life…or ah least ah didn't realize it. As ah lad, ah loved meh Ma an' meh sister. They loved meh an' ah loved them. They were te ones tha' kept meh from losin' it since ah had te live wit two other family members tha' seemed te 'ave spent all te time since ah wus born te make meh miserable. Tha's whut ah didn't understand. At four, five, six, ah didn't get why everyone wanted te hurt meh an' hated meh, except fer meh Ma an' meh sister. Ah thought ah wus cursed, ah wus eh demon, an' sometimes ah still do. Maybe ah ehm cursed, ah wouldn't know. But because of tha', because meh Ma an' Carol kept meh sane, love 'as always been meh go-to. Gram passed away…then meh Ma…then Carol…an' slowly this pattern started te form in meh life where eh'd find love…an' it wusn't just love, it'd be happiness or peace, ye know? An' then it would be ripped away from meh. Ah' thought eh'd found love again in a woman eh've known meh whole life…ah childhood friend who decided te marry meh brother, which ah always thought wus arranged er somethin'. Ah never saw meh brer happy wit tha' woman, an' vice versa, so eh never took their marriage seriously. So ah thought ah found love wit Mary, especially since she wus havin' meh baby an' led meh te believe tha' eh fam wit meh wus whut she wanted. Then one day she has te baby, hands it te meh an' says goodbye. Love gets taken away again. Then fer years eh try an' raise eh baby, by mehself when eh have absolutely no knowledge of how te be eh father, an' eh worked so hard an' loved meh wee Bessie so much until she is taken away because eh made some wrong choices wit te law. Then again eh thought I'd 'ave found love in another woman, Camille, but eh realize whut eh've felt fer her wusn't love. Ah tried te move on, at tis point in meh life eh start te realize tha' eh want te fall in love, but ehm thinkin' te mehself ehm incapable of bein' in love, see? Then eh meet Sheila…hard o'er heels, eh really feel it tis time, te passion is stronger but we're fightin' all te time an' all we ever really do is 'ave sex an' there really is no romantic relationship, but before eh 'ave time te realize tha' love isn't whut eh feel fer her either, she leaves meh. Then Abby comes along…" Duff smiles to himself. "Whut's there te say? Despite te shock of hearin' abou' her guardian role an' despite tis trial an' fearin' eh could lose her…eh've never been more happy in meh entire life because of Abby. An' it's pure, true love. Ehm in love wit her, an' tha's nuthin' eh've ever felt before fer another woman. Ah always thought eh wus in love, but now tha' eh know how it feels ah know eh wus eh fool. They're right when they say 'when yer in love, ye'll just know'. Eh feel like eh'm floatin' on clouds mehself when ehm wit her…she makes meh feel like meh mission in life 'as ended because eh've finally found peace, somethin' eh've never had since te day eh wus born. Call meh selfish but Abby an' Bessie are all eh really care abou' in meh life. Ah know there's probably eh whole other meanin' te life in general, there's eh reason mankind exists, but eh wouldn' even know where te begin thinkin' abou' tha'. But if ye really think, society kind of 'as tis plan fer everyone in life…be born, be raised, go te school, go te college, get ah job, get married, 'ave kids, live te rest o' yer life wit yer fam an' die, an' yer kids repeat te cycle. Ah know one of te whole important aspects of life is reproduction. Ah know it's like, 'Survival 101' an' it's in our nature te have kids. Tha's why there's male an' female an' tha's why sex exists an' it's all abou' reproduction. An' maybe family originated fer survival reasons, an' ah dunno if te cavemen were all abou' fallin' in love too but ah feel like love is eh big predominant aspect in people's lives teday. Even animals, they protect their mate's an' ther kin, ah think it's kind of ah world-wide value nae jus' fer humans. Ah mean, whut's te point of life if nae love? Ye guardians probably say tha' love is jus' ah silly emotion human's are cursed te feel an' it's brought more pain in te history of our kind, but ah jus' don' see an alternate reason why life even exists at all. Ah mean…ah don' think ye'll ever life if yer searchin' yer whole life lookin' fer te meanin' of it. Does life even have te have ah meanin'? Ah think we're all individuals an' te meanin' of life is different te everyone…but nae even tha'. Then yer probably thinkin' of te animals an' te plants like how Abby says everythin' is life nae just us humans. Personally, ah think ye can do all te things ye want te do, see all te places ye want te see, learn everythin' ye want te learn, but if yer nae in love an' find true happiness an' harmony then there's nae point in everythin' else. Tha's whut ah believe after meh short forty years of experience. An' ehm sorry fer dismissin' te big plan or te cosmic reason fer te existence of life…ah 'ave no clue whut tha' is. In meh life, ah strongly feel like ah 'ave met meh goal an' reached te top an' te highest ah can go by havin' Abby in meh life. Sure down te road there's arguments an' rough patches an' it won' be happily e'er after but it's ah pretty goddamn good-lookin' future if ye ask meh."

Duff had to catch his breath. He felt like he said everything he wanted to say and there was nothing else lingering around in his mind that he could identify or understand enough to say. He didn't know if his answer was right, but he felt strongly that what he said was true to what he believed in and how he felt, and being so open about that was difficult for him enough. Duff was surprised he even said that much about the philosophy.

"So…what is your final answer?" one of the elders asked.

"Look…" Duff started. He held his head as if he had a headache thinking about all of this. "Ehm nae wise. Ehm nae like ye guys. Sure, ah can be wise an' say te meanin' of life is fer te human race te evolve an' change an' better ourselves an' leave this world ah better place than when we first entered it an' fulfill all te talents destiny gave us te the fullest…sure, ah could say all o' tha'. But ah have nae talents tha' ah feel like fate gave te meh fer eh reason an' tha' it could better te world. Ah could tell ye tha' te meanin' of human life is te destroy, like ah plague, an' then wit ah few generations start all over an' keep improvin'. Ye know, there are so many…" Duff chuckled again. "If there is ah meanin' te life, then there must be ah meanin' te sufferin' too, an' tha's somethin' ah don' understand, unless ye tell meh mah soul is cursed fer all eternity, then I'd say ah understand. Otherwise, ah don'."

"You are not giving us a straight answer, Duff." Another elder said.

"Fine! Ye want meh final answer? Te meanin' of life is te stay alive! Is tha' whut ye want te hear? Well tha's te answer. Te stay alive. But ye know whut? Meh life is worth nuthin' te meh if ye take Abby away. If ah lose tis trial, ah can almost guarantee ye tha' eventually meh fate will lead te suicide. Life is meanin'less without feelin' te love tha' ah do fer tha' woman there." Duff pointed to Abby down below. She had tears in her eyes when he glanced at her. "So go ahead, take her away, send meh back te livin' meh old life an' let meh destroy mehself. Ah don' give ah goddamn shit abou' stayin' alive. All ah care abou' is Abby."

The elders seemed to be shocked by his crude language and whispered back and forth to each other, as if they didn't expect that kind of answer. The main elder in the middle interrupted to pound his fist on the arm of his thrown and yell,

"Trial adjourned!"

Duff didn't get the chance to say another word for his chair dropped down so abruptly he felt like he was on a bad carnival ride and felt dizzy. When his chair reached the ground, he got up and looked over at Abby. The other guardians were holding her back, but she was crying, and trying to get away from them to run to Duff. He couldn't decode her expression. Why was she crying? Was she moved by what he said or knew for a fact that he had lost? Duff wanted to run over to Abby but all of the guardians simultaneously swooped down with their large powerful wings like great white swans. They landed on the shiny golden floor in a singular line, and gracefully stood tall with their arms folded in their robes. They all looked at Duff, and frankly, he felt extremely frightened.

"Duff Killigan…" the main elder spoke, standing in the middle of the line. "We have made our decision."

Duff looked over at Abby. The guardians were still standing on either side of her, gripping her arms. A third guardian stood behind her. Duff looked back at the line of elders and took a deep breath.

Duff waited in anticipation but it seemed like the elder wanted to rile his nerves and have a little fun, prolonging the verdict. Duff didn't want to be rude and shout out 'what?' but he was just a tad away from doing that.

Finally, after what felt like forever but in reality was more like three minutes, the one elder stepped forward. He leaned back a little, his body language showing he was about to shout across the entire court room again. However, he exhaled and sharply turned to Abby and the guardians around her.

"Cut her!" his voice boomed like a stereo turned all the way up. Duff widened his eyes. He didn't know what 'cutting' Abby meant, but he didn't like the verb.

Duff didn't have time to blink. As he turned his head, he slowly watched the guardian standing behind Abby pull out a large shining gold sword. He watched as if it was in slow motion, even though it took a second. His mind felt on edge, yet dizzy at the same time. He didn't understand, yet he knew what was going to happen, and that he had to save Abby.

It all happened too fast to really take in. Duff just remembered seeing the blood, and hearing Abby's piercing screams as the guardian sliced off her wings in one swift motion. He ran before he could think of what was happening or why he was running, but he was too late. The guardians holding her let her loose, and she fell to the floor. Her entire back was covered in blood. Duff kneeled down and held her in his lap, taking his shirt off and trying to cover the wounds and apply pressure.

"Ahm sorry…" Duff started to cry uncontrollably. He felt the same as when he sister passed. He felt responsible and completely empty. All he could feel was pain. His heart slowed like it refused to beat any longer. "It's all meh fault Abby…" Duff sobbed. "Ahm sorry…"

The main elder walked towards the two of them. His voice boomed again, jolting Duff's heart because it was so thunderous and abrupt. "I hereby free Abigail from her life as a guardian in this realm. She will no longer be accepted here as one of our own, and will no longer serve on missions or be guardian to your family."

Duff was sobbing at this point. He was barely even listening to the elder. He was staring deep into Abby's eyes, whispering to her, telling her to breathe and hold on, not to lose him, and stay with him. He repeatedly told her he was sorry and could barely hear the elder finish over the sound of his own sobs.

"She is human now, and will be free to live the remainder of her mortal life in your realm."

Duff didn't even realize what he said. Abby widened her eyes. Duff thought it was a sign of death or pain, he held onto her harder and nearly yelled at her to stay with him.

"No…Duff…listen…" she whispered. The tears stung in her eyes but she tried to keep them open for him. "Listen to what he is saying…"

"Duff Killigan…you passed this trial with an answer none of us had expected to hear. You will be the first and only bearer of our secrets, and will not lose the blessings of our kind."

Duff turned his head around and stared at the elder like he was a nutcase. "Whut?"

The elder walked up to him and kneeled down to meet his eyes. Duff really looked at his skin and it glowed like it had little pieces of sun in it. "Would you like to know a secret?"

Duff didn't answer. He just blinked.

The elder smiled. "As far as you know, there is no meaning of life. But if there was…it's up to the divine to figure that out. There's no need to think too hard." He chuckled a little, obviously amused by Duff's speech.

"So lemme get this straight…ah passed te trial, ehm goin' te remember Abby an' so will meh daughter an' ah won' go back te the way ah used te be before ah met Abby?"

The elder smiled and nodded his head.

"An' Abby is human now an' she's free te live ah human life, an' she gets te live wit us fer te rest of her life?"

The elder nodded his head again. "That is my blessing to you."

"Then why the hell dye'd 'ave te fuckin' chop her wings off like tha'? Whut, ye don' 'ave surgery in yer world? It's got te be medieval torture?"

Abby sighed. Even though they weren't in the castle, with Duff around it always felt like home.

After Abby got cleaned up and the elder tried to explain to Duff their traditions and rituals of becoming a guardian and becoming a human again, Cathella met up with Abby outside the court house. Her back was all bandaged up and though she was still in pain, she felt a little better now that blood wasn't pouring out of her. She could hear Duff yelling and arguing with the other elder about how their ways are 'cruel and unusual'. Abby smiled. She knew her life with him would never be boring, and in a way she liked the idea of having to always mother him and be the one to calm him down. She was the tea to his bad stomach. Cathella put a hand on her shoulder as she looked out into the clouds, thinking about her future as a human again.

"So this means no strings attached…no more rebirth after this." Abby said, kind of proudly. She had lived too long only to realize that immortality is anything but freedom. She wanted her soul to die and be at peace after this life. She didn't want to have to keep repeating life over and over again to find an answer that she suspected wasn't even there. She wanted to have a happy ending, finally.

"Listen…Abigail. There's somethin' ah think ye should know." Cathella said.

Abby turned around and looked at her. She didn't think she could handle another piece of bad news. "What is it?"

"I overheard some of the other elders talking. They were discussing Duff's soul, which influenced their decision at the trial."

"What about his soul? Was it cleansed?"

"They didn't mention anything about the nature of his soul…but they compared it to yours and…"

"…And what?"

Cathella looked into her eyes and a faint smile escaped onto her lips. "They looked into its history and…they found that Duff shared the same soul as your old husband, from your most recent life."

Abby looked at her for a minute. She didn't say anything or express any emotions on her face. She then looked over at Duff and stared at him too. Duff happened to catch a glance at Abby and saw her staring. He met her gaze and stared back at her, unaware of what Cathella was speaking to her about.

It took Abby a while to process, but eventually, she smiled.