Author's Note: Make sure you've read all the chapters, as I've uploaded 21-epilogue all at once. Once I had it complete I wanted to deliver it all at once. I can't thank you enough for your continued interest in this story. I absolutely hated leaving it unfinished for all these years. I also couldn't resist this ending, though I know it's a bit far fetched.

Thank you all so much.

Epilogue

Major General Jack O'Neill sighed as he entered the crisp coolness of his Washington, DC apartment. He had lived here long enough, he thought absently as he tossed his briefcase down on the island in the kitchen and went to the fridge for a beer, that it really shouldn't feel so… sterile. Impersonal. Sparse. Reminding himself for the thousandth time he should probably do something about that, he took a long drink from his beer and groaned when he heard his computer chirping from inside his briefcase. Someone wanted to do a blasted video conference thing. What was wrong with a simple phone call? Grumbling, he pulled out his laptop reluctantly and opened it.

Sure enough, a conference call came through. He blinked in surprise as he saw who it was. "Sam?"

Recognizing the infirmary in the background, he added quickly, "Colonel Carter? What's going on?"

She grinned at him briefly before getting distracted by something offscreen. "No! Just sit down! Forcryinoutloud, Daniel, get control of them!" she shouted.

Offscreen, he heard Daniel shout back, "Easy for you to say! Get off that thing and give me a hand!"

"You're about to tell me your upcoming leave needs to be rescheduled," Jack concluded. "What's going on over there?"

"Actually, I was calling to beg you to come visit. As soon as possible."

Confused she would say such a thing in the infirmary, in the middle of some sort of crisis, he started to ask again what was going on when a series of loud shrieking at an inhuman pitch filled his ears and made him wince.

"Dammit," Sam grumbled onscreen. "I don't know how you did this."

"Sam, what's going on?" he demanded loudly over the wailing.

Rolling her eyes, she shifted her laptop and Jack's view changed. Daniel was standing in a corner of the infirmary and had a tiny girl with a long, insanely tangled mass of black hair literally climbing him, while a wiry-muscled boy who could only be a young Teal'c was hanging over his shoulder. While Daniel tried to peel the girl – presumably Vala, and the source of all the shrieking – off of him before she could get at Teal'c, a stocky boy with short, spiky brown hair ran up to Daniel and punched him right in the goods. Daniel let out a howl and made a grab at the presumably young Cameron Mitchell, who was grabbing Vala and trying to free her and make their escape.

"ENOUGH!" Carter roared at all of them. They all froze, looking at her in surprise. "Sit down and don't move a muscle," she ordered all of the children, grabbing the laptop and moving outside the infirmary with it.

Jack waited, enjoying the view while she quickly ordered two airman inside to keep the kids under control.

"As you can see, Vala and Cam somehow found the damn egg that turned Daniel and me into kids several years ago. it was supposed to be at area 51, but I guess they were looking for Vala's favorite MREs in one of the smaller storage rooms and they found it, right before Teal'c found THEM to see what was taking them so long to get geared up…"

"Wow. All three of them. You know that thing takes over a month to change them back," Jack reminded her.

She winced. "I know. And they're beyond wild, Jack. I know you joke about how bad Daniel and I were but seriously, we could NOT have been this bad."

"That's what every parent says, Sam," he couldn't help but tease.

She rolled her eyes. "Jack. Teal'c thinks we abducted him or something, he's trying to escape to the stargate to go back to chulak every chance he gets and he's freakishly strong. Cameron keeps trying to get his hands on a weapon and is begging everyone to let him fly something, when he's not picking on Vala… who is basically the human equivalent of trying to domesticate a wild lemur, from what I can tell…"

Chuckling, he asked, "How long has this been going on?"

Sam glanced at her watch. "We found them about an hour ago."

Daniel slipped out of the infirmary and sidled onscreen behind Sam. "Is he coming? Jack, please, you have to come help us. We can't take care of them alone, they're insane!"

"Now, now, Danny, turnabout is fair play, after all, is it not?"

"What? You're not going to help? But… but…" he spluttered. A cacophony of crashing metal was heard from inside the infirmary, as well as a lot of yelling. He groaned. "I have to go."

As soon as he was gone, Sam said hopefully, "You're just messing with him right?"

Jack sighed. "I'm too old for this crap, Carter. You SURE you guys can't handle it? I mean it would be a rather poetic justice after all this time, wouldn't it? You and Daniel being the adults?"

"Jack, please?"

He sighed. "All right fine. I'll move some stuff around and be there as soon as I can. Hang in there."

"Thank you!" she said gratefully.

"All right, I'll let you go so I can start seeing about a flight and everything."

"Use your stars."

"Really?" he perked up.

She nodded. "Really. I don't care at all this time. just get here as fast as possible."

"You must be desperate." He heard more screeching from the infirmary and what he was pretty sure was swearing in Goa'uld. He took a deep breath. "Are you really sure you need me there? I mean… I'm sure you're more than capable and my old knees can't keep up with the young'uns like they used to…" he tried hopefully.

"Just get here, Jack," she interrupted with a friendly scowl. Then, she was suddenly smirking at him. "Besides, it'll be excellent hands on practice."

"Practice?"

"Yup."

"For what?"

"Little souvenir, from our last trip to the cabin, won't get here until May." She smirked again at the dumbfounded look on his face and ended the call, snapping her laptop shut.

Jack stared at the blank screen. "May? The cabin? August… holy CRAP!"