Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

There are no such things as Shinigami, or Hollows, or Arrancar.

There is no Soul Society.

There is no Hueco Mundo.

There is no Ichigo Kurosaki.

There is no Hokgyoku.

There is no Ouken.

There is no plan to become God.

There is only reality...and Sosuke Aizen is beginning to awake from a very long dream.

"...Oww,"

Sosuke Aizen, age 24, grunted as his eyelids slowly fluttered open. He found himself staring up at a poster of an attractive red-haired woman with an over-sized bosom. The name underneath her read 'MATSUMOTO-CHAN'. Even though the poster was a foreign object to Aizen, the hideous, dirt-brown ceiling behind it was familiar enough, along with the rancid smell...he was in his apartment room. Slowly, Aizen pushed himself up into a seated position; the back of his shirt was drenched in his own sweat, as was the front. His right hand was grasped tightly around an empty bottle of pills. His long hair (Old Man Yama claimed it made him look like a hippie) was covered in a light film of natural grease. Finally, his jeans were covered with mushy old crumbs, but of what he had no idea.

'What...?'

Aizen's confusion only lasted for several more seconds...and suddenly it was all coming back to him, rushing into his mind. He knew why he had been sleeping moments before.

'The drugs...that's right, I took the drugs that Gin gave me...he said they were top-notch, and help me forget all my troubles for a while. Still...how long have I been out? And where is that fox-faced bastard?'

As if on cue, the front door swung open, slamming so hard against the wall that it made Aizen's head throb in agony. Aizen's roommate and so-called 'best friend' Gin Ichimaru, age 23, stepped inside, his thin lips curled into an unnerving grin as usual. He was carrying an exceptionally large bag of groceries.

"Ohh! Good morning, Captain Aizen! Nice to see you finally woke up!" chuckled Gin. He knew how much that nickname annoyed his roommate, so that was why he kept using it. There was obviously some animosity held between them wherever they want. Why these two fellows continued to acknowledge each others' existence was a mystery even to themselves. Nevertheless, Aizen and Gin still stuck together through thick and thin, no matter what.

"...Gin...you..." Aizen made an attempt to stand up, but a sharp pain lancing through his cranium forced him back down. Gin chuckled again; he placed the groceries on top of the small refrigerator that stood in the left-hand corner of the room.

"It looks like those special pills of mine did quite a number on you, eh?"

"You never told me they'd give me such crazy dreams...damn, my head hurts. How long was I out?"

"Hmm..." Gin thought about it for a moment as he put away the food, "About two and a half days, I'd say."

"T-TWO AND A HALF DAYS...?" Aizen could hardly believe it; if the pills were really that strong, it was a wonder he was still alive. This also brought up even more questions. "Why would you give me something so dangerous?"

"Heh. I just wanted to see what would happen."

"What? Seriously? You're sick in the head, Gin Ichimaru."

"Didn't bother me when my parents said it...certainly won't bother me when you say it."

"Why didn't you help me, though? You just left me lying in bed for two and a half days?"

"I stood over you for hours at a time, wondering when you would wake up. I also helped myself to some of your 'hidden' stash of snacks, Captain Aizen. Hope ya don't mind the mess."

"That explains the crumbs...but you really could have done more. Alot more. I'm disappointed in you."

"I'm not some kind of super-powered freak who can do everything at once."

With his migraine going away and his strength somewhat returned, Aizen succeeded in finally getting up onto his feet, although there was slight sense of disorientation at first. Gin had already begun helping himself to a cup of Italian Ice that was left over in the back of the freezer. Aizen glanced upwards at the poster that was hanging over his bed; he realized that he actually recognized the woman and her giant tits quite well, much to his own misfortune. Her name was Rangiku Matsumoto, and she was Gin's long-time girlfriend, although they did not see each other often these days.

"...What is a full-size pin-up of that WOMAN of yours doing up there?" Aizen inquired to his friend.

"Do ya like it? Rangiku finally got a modeling job for the new summer swimsuit line. She's certainly got the look for it, I'd say. I thought you would like something sexy to look at when you woke up." Gin spoke in between shoveling spoonfuls of lemon-flavored Italian Ice into his mouth.

"I'm not surprised that someone like her would end up with a career like that...she'll cheat on you one day if you don't watch out."

"Oi, Captain Aizen, ya know I don't like hearing you saying such mean things about her, right? What if I talked bad about your girl?"

"I don't have a girl. I'm not interested in relationships."

"What about that little chick that works at the flower shop? Momo Hinamori was her name."

"Ugh, I don't want to even think about her...she was practically stalking me everywhere I went, and she wouldn't shut up whenever she spoke to me. You were there when I explained to her that I don't like her romantically, so you should know."

"Ahhh, yeah...poor Momo...when you rejected her, she wore this expression like you had just stabbed her through the chest without the smallest reluctance...I took a photo of it with my cellphone and made it my background."

"That's an odd way of putting it, Gin," Aizen felt a chill run up his spine. Brief memories of his dream flashed before his very eyes.

"Anyway, back to the point, it upsets me to hear ya insultin' my Rangiku."

"Oh?"

"I might feel the urge to defend her honor...and, oh, I dunno, stab you in the back?" Gin's smile seemed especially eerie as he said this.

"If that were to happen I would say you have fallen quite low, my dear friend Gin. Besides, I would be prepared to counter your strike."

"Ha ha! I suppose you're right about that...you always seem to be the guy who's one step ahead in everything. That's why they called you a mind-reading genius back in high school, right? Now you're just a pill-popping, jobless loner with an ugly mullet. You may have let your reputation fall through the cracks, but you're still smarter than ever."

"Don't you dare insult the mullet! It took a very long time to get it just right!"

"Alright, sorry...geez, so scary..."

Aizen looked over the empty bottle of pills again. "...By the way, this stuff won't kill me later without warning, will it?"

Gin shrugged.

In response, Aizen threw the bottle at Gin's head with enough force that it drew blood. "I'm taking a shower and putting on some fresh clothes. After that, we're going to have a talk about how tricking your friends into testing new types of drugs is a major felony."

Gin let out a heavy sigh as blood trickled down the front of his face. "Aww, shit...not that talk again..."