Nothing.
That was what had changed since their victory at Lake Lyn.
Nothing. Zilch. Nada.
Oh, everyone was happy and celebrating still but had her life changed as she thought it would? Not at all. A whole two weeks had passed, the group of heroes having come home nearly three days before, and still nothing.
Clary sighed quietly, starring up at the ceiling of her, now permanent, bedroom at the Institute. Jocelyn had politely reminded her that her life as a shadowhunter would require rigorous training and study thus freeing Jocelyn herself to move in with Luke to begin their happy, if not long delayed, life together. Clary didn't mind though, she knew her mother deserved it. But didn't Clary deserve a happy ending as well?
Again she sighed, rolling onto her side, her arm beneath her head.
'The LEAST he could do is talk to me. Or even just look at me. Just a look! Is that so much to ask after bringing him back from the dead?'
It was almost as if, when Raziel brought Jace back, he had left some part of him behind at the lake. That glint in his honey colored eyes was gone, replaced by a look of constant worry. Constant pain.
"I need to think." With that said, Clary stood and pulled on the green velvet coat with brass buttons that Luke and her mom had gotten to replace the last one she had accidentally soaked through. She pulled the hood up and tucked her hair inside before leaving her room and heading for the greenhouse where it had all began.
A million different scents, some familiar but most not, hit her the moment she stepped inside. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to identify as many as possible but quickly giving up. Clary kept her eyes closed however, smiling a little to herself as she remembered the first time she had come to this place.
With Jace.
"You remember to bring a hooded jacket, but you leave the shoes behind?" Her eyes flew open, searching for the owner of the oh-so-familiar voice.
He was about thirty feet away, sitting on the cool ground, his back against a low rock wall, one knee pulled up against his chest. The sight of him was almost more than she could take. Jace was wearing black silk pajama pants, his hair wet and turned silver by the bright moonlight. His skin was free of runes, and she could see the pale scars that danced across his chest.
Clary slowly pulled back her hood, her fire red hair spilling down her shoulders and back, straight now thanks to Isabelle's battle with a straightening iron. Clary barely held back a shudder at the memory.
"What are you doing out here? And you're not wearing any shoes, either." She took a couple steps forward but stopped when he held up a hand, palm out.
"Don't. Just...go back to your room." Clary thought she felt her heart shatter in that moment. So she wasn't crazy. He didn't want her around.
"Jace, please. Tell what I've done. Ever since that night you've been distant. We should be-"
"We should be what? Happy? How can we be happy? How do we know what's real and what isn't? Tell me that." Jace stood up in one swift movement, brushing a silver curl out of his eyes.
"What...I don't know what you mean." Clary stepped forward again and Jace stepped back and up onto the rock wall like it was a dance. "Jace, please. Talk to me." He hung his head, arms hanging limply at his sides.
"I can't trust it," he whispered, the soft words barely reaching her ears. She softly exhaled, not having noticed she'd been holding her breath. "First, you were just Clary Fray, a mundane. Then you were Clarissa Fairchild, a shadowhunter. A girl I-" he shook his head but continued. "And then...you were...my sister." She heard his gulp of disgust, his adam's apple rising then plummeting quickly. "And now..."
"And now...?"
"And now, I don't know!" He still didn't look up at her. Clary couldn't help the slow, silent tears that slipped down her pale face. She watched as Jace's hands curled into fists. "And now you're not my sister. How can I trust this knowledge to be the truth when I want it SO MUCH?" Her mouth opened a little and before she could stop herself Clary slipped forward, wrapping her hand around his clenched hand. She saw the way his shoulders tensed and gritted her teeth. Clary knew how stubborn he could be but she refused to let him hurt like this.
"Jace, stop. Its over. We won and they lost. Valentine wanted to confuse you. Every word from his mouth was a lie and you know it. We both know it and we always HAVE. Nothing that feels this right could be that wrong." To emphasize her point she tightened her grip and gave a little tug, but he didn't budge. "Jace. Jace...please." Clary took his other fist but didn't pull this time. "We belong together and you know it. Of all the times for you to be a coward, Jace, this isn't one of them." She thought she saw him lift his head a little, giving her the courage to go on. "You aren't the only one who's scared. I am too. But we can do this. Together. " Clary bit back her little cry of triumphant as Jace slowly tilted his head up, his silver eyes meeting her dark emerald ones. 'Just one more push...'
"I need you, Jace. I need you and...and I want you. More than anything I have ever wanted before." She felt another tear slip down her cheek and she realized that he was crying as well. "I know this all seems too good to be true...but don't we deserve a happy ever-"
Clary never got to finish her sentence.
Jace slipped off the stone wall to land in front of her, their bodies mere centimeters apart.
There it was.
The spark.
His eyes were aglow with it. Despite the moon's influence, Jace's eyes blazed bright, like molten gold. It took Clary's breath away.
"I need you too, Clarissa." Her name. She never thought she'd hear him say it again.
"Jace..."
"Clary."
His lips touched hers and they both knew they belonged to each other in that instant.
Forever.
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