Hello, long time no see. I know this has taken forever to complete and I'm sorry for that. I didn't want to leave this story unfinished but the ending was troubling. In the end I just stuck with how it was always going to end, for good or ill. So here it is.

A moment with Death.

She doesn't ask any questions but she will, it's inevitable. Instead she sits, her hands clasped tight around the edge of her seat. I can see the bones through the skin of her knuckles and small drops of mist cling to her hair. The boat rocks and dips, the waves growing higher.

She's scared but holding it together. There is nothing worse then a hysterical human, especially one on a boat.

"We should be there soon..." Her eyes flick to me and then away, looking for land through the mist.

"Why do you want to go over there?" It's a rush of words, they bustle and elbow themselves out of her mouth. She sounds breathless.

How to explain...where to start?

"I'm going over there because that's where the devil happens to be." As expected she frowns and bolt of dread ignites in her stomach. She's in a boat with me but that name gives her more of a fright.

"The Devil?"

"Yes. I am bound to him, you see. Whereever he goes I follow and it has been that way for far too long. So here I am."

"But you needed me otherwise you couldn't cross over?" She's sharp.

"A vessel, yes. It was one of the things that could have tripped me up. Someone to cross over with willingly. The demon is a coward, preferring to wait until the coast is clear. But you? You have something to go over for. Things are going according to plan."

She sits silently, mulling it over, sticking it all together. "You want this to happen?"

"My dear, I made it happen." I savour her shock before continuing. "They're all gathered there, in that place and best of all Lucifer is powerless. The boy will help me break this spell and all will fall into place, as it should. You have no idea the way Order has been disrupted, people who should be dead are not and the ripples of that have been catastrophic. He will learn that you can't cheat me."

"You're going to kill them?"

She looks frightened now, which wasn't my intent. What words would comfort? I avoid this whenever possible, it's one of the reason I use Reapers. They handle the messy business after I've finished, explaining and emoting and so on. I'm far too busy anyway, even if I wanted to. Still she rides a boat with Death and I've always looked fondly amongst the brave, even the foolish ones.

"Don't take this to heart, most of those people should have died because it was their time and that is right. But that is jut one form of Death. There is the end of hope and ideals and dreams. The Death of suffering and war. Death of stars and worlds...this matter falls into the latter category."

"You're going to destroy the world?" She voice is strangled, thin.

"Please, you lot do that just fine by yourself. I don't make suns implode or cities sink, I'm there when it ceases to be. This world will end but, and listen because this is important, another will take it's place. A world where this never happens."

"No outbreak?"

"No outbreak; and, if you're lucky, no annoying jumped up angel that thinks himself a god. But that can only happen if the spell is broken and I am free."

The mist breaks up, land appears and disappears through it. Rain begins to lash down, tossing the boat and Amelia clings on for dear life. Stubbornly.

"My daughter! Castiel! What happens to them now? What will you do?"

"You know I've really told you more then I should...I will do my job and so will they." He points out at the water and Amelia squints. At first she sees nothing but the frothy tips of waves but then suddenly she spots a boat with a dark solitary figure standing up in it. One boat turns into three, ten, twenty. Too many to count.

"Who are they?" She has to shout over the roar of the sea. Death sits calmly, he hasn't moved since she sat down.

"Don't worry yourself about them. We're here." The boat rocks alarmingly and Amelia is thrown onto the deck. She hooks her arms around her seat, looking up at Death. Stupid maybe but the fact she wasn't struck down the moment she saw him made her feel safe, that it must not be her time.

"Tell me, please! Will they die?"

Death tilts his head and sighs as the boat is lifted into the air and leans down to whisper into her ear. The boat smashes back into the sea and is submerged.

Claire takes in the image of the man in the white suit and experiences a strange jab of recognition. Castiel grips her tightly to him and Nick does the same. She looks up at him and is shocked to see that he's terrified.

"What's going on?"

Nick doesn't speak, his eyes seem to be glued on the man in the suit whose smile grows brighter. "Hello Nick, nice to see you again. I thought I left you for dead."

"What are you doing here Lucifer?" Castiel demands and the man looks him up and down, judging for a second before a pitying expression settles on his face.

"Look at you. I'm sorry that you've been reduced to this, truly. As for what I'm doing here your guess is as good as mine. An angel summoning charm I would assume." He looks out at the raging sea and tilts his head. "Well, this won't end well..."

Claire sees Jesse almost waist deep in the water and her heart jumps. Instinctively she moves to go to him but Castiel holds her still, shaking his head. "Jesse!" She shouts and he turns to her, somehow hearing her over the wind and rain. She blinks and suddenly finds him at her side. He looks at the man in the suit and stiffens.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hello Jesse, nice to finally meet you." His permanent smile grows warmer but there's a glint in his eyes that Claire doesn't like.

Jesse's face grows darker and he shakes. "How did you get here?"

"Someone summoned us but right now there's a more pressing matter to attend to. Gabriel, do you sense it?"

Looking as if he would like to be sucked into the sand Gabriel reluctantly nods, his jaw set stiffly. He drags his gaze away from the raging sea and catches her eye for a moment before looking at Castiel. "This won't be pretty. Kid, whatever voodoo you've got going on here really has squat to do with me, so just let me go."

"I tried the moment you got here. I - I'm not doing this." For the first time that she can remember Jesse looks scared.

"What is it? What's happening?" She directs this at Castiel but he shakes his head grimly. He knows but won't say.

"I want you and Nick to head back into the town ok? Is there a place that's been fortified?" He stares hard at Jesse who regards him coolly before nodding.

"The library, there's a bunker." Jesse takes Claire's arm, gripping tightly. "You need to take anyone else you find there ok? The door to the bunker is round the back." Claire nods, her gaze unable to leave the raging sea for more then a few seconds. She takes Castiel's hand, tugging him with her but he doesn't move.

"What are you doing?"

"Staying."

She rounds on him, anger eclipsing any fear. "Are you crazy? Look at you!" She points to his leg and his face hardens. "You're not my father but you're still the closest thing I have and I'm not going to let anything happen to him. So come on!"

"She's right," agrees Gabriel who begins to head towards the treeline, "I may not be hobbled like you but I'm not staying here to greet him."

"Charming..." The soft voice leaves a total silence in it's wake, as if the roar of the sea and air has been sucked into a vacuum. A pale man stands against the ocean, calmly surveying them. No one moves, no one makes a sound and Death sighs. "I would like this matter to be resolved as quickly as possible. I have such a work load to get to, no thanks to you." His gaze pins Lucifer.

"How did you get here?"

"The more pressing question is why." Death flicks his gaze to Jesse who hasn't moved an inch. "I think you know why I'm here. In fact I think you've known it for some time."

"Please, you can't." The words croak out and his eyes shine desperately. Suddenly amongst all these people he appears so young, so small. "I - I just wanted to save them."

"I know but that wasn't your place. You have a different path." His cane makes poke holes in the sand as he comes closer and Clair stiffens, pushing back against Castiel who lays a hand against her shoulder.

"You can't do anything unless I give the order." Lucifer frowns and straightens and he seems impossibly tall to Claire. "These people are not on your list. I've told you that this place is off limits."

"Yes, so you keep reminding me. But why? Is it a ridiculous hope that your brothers will return? I don't think even you believe that. Why would you, you've won this war haven't you? No, you've graciously spared this place because you need it."

"You seem to have me figured all out and seeing as you're on a roll why don't you enlighten them further." Lucifer's tone is droll but there's a icy glint to his gaze. He's furious.

Death smiles, if you can call it that. "You've wiped out most of the human race, only a handful of demons remain but this place is special. A place utterly devoted to safeguarding vessels. The only humans who can withstand angelic possession, it runs in their very blood, a remnant of a time when humans and angels came together, shall we say." His lips quirk and Castiel groans.

"Please tell me you're not talking about what I think you are?"

"The Nephilim. Your brother wants to start a new race."

"What?" Gabriel shouts, shock stamped on his face. "Are you forgetting the last time they walked the earth? Dad was beyond pissed!"

"Understatement." Castiel shakes his head and eyes the silent storm nervously.

"Our Father? You really think he's going to care? Look at what his creation has come to and he did nothing to save it. This is my world now and unlike him I won't abandon it."

"You think this is a - a breeding ground for you? I won't let that happen!" Jesse shouts with disgust and Lucifer laughs.

"It was you that gave me the incentive to do it! You're powerful but you're still the offspring of a base demon and a human. Now imagine the power of a child conceived from an angel. You're nothing."

Jesse made a move towards him but suddenly Death was between them. His smile is gone and his eyes are glassy with anger. They appear empty to Claire and it makes her look away.

"Enough of this. None of this really matters. Now none of you will be able to leave this place until I am free." He stares at Jesse and he does not turn away like Claire, instead he seems to be calmed, his fists unclench, as he falls into Death's gaze. Something passes between them, beyond words. Claire thinks he sees an understanding there.

Jesse finally lowers his head, the eye contact broken and he nods sadly. "I need time, to think...It was all for nothing, wasn't it?"

"Try not to sound so nihilistic, that's my job. Thank you." Death lifts his hand and uncurls his thin fingers and Claire sees a cluster of rings sitting on his palm. Lucifer stiffens and takes a step back. "I wasn't that only one bound to you. Now my brothers are free." He throws the rings into the air and suddenly a blinding light and boom shakes through the air. Just for a second, in the glare that sears her eyes, Claire sees four figures standing together, triumphant and joyous before disappearing.

"No!" His roar is puny against the ride of the Four Horsemen but it still terrifies. He faces off against Death who simply points a finger at him.

"Today is not the day when we will have your final encounter. Go." With a crack the devil is gone and Death releases a long breath. Claire swears she can hear him muttering under his breath, "if only it was, annoying little shit..."

Ears ringing and spots dancing before her eyes Claire looks up from her crouch on the sand and finds Death staring down at her. He lifts his brows and begins to move off but then hesitates. "You look a lot like your mother."

"My mom?" Dread freezes her.

"She helped me cross over..." he looks up and along the beach, "you have five minutes. you better hurry." Claire stares with huge eyes and begins to run down the beach. Castiel tries to follow but falls behind.

"Wanna piggy back ride?" Gabriel jabs a thumb at his back with a smirk and Castiel grabs him angerely.

"Take me to her damn it! Now!"

"Still can't take a joke. Fine." He lifts his hand and with a snap of his fingers they're gone.

Three figures stand on the beach. Nick, who hadn't said a word, looks down at Jesse. "What did he say to you?"

"Did you know that there's a fifth Horsemen?"

"Uh, no."

"Yeah, me either." He gloomily stares into space as Death moves to greet Nick with a smile, who returns it like he is looking at an old friend.

"About time."

Amelia?

Dark figures dart across frosted glass, blurred and insubstantial. The light is so bright. There is a handle, curved and warm under her palm but it won't move when she pushes down on it. The door shudders slightly when she knocks against the glass and the figures stop for a moment, turn to look.

Amelia?

It's strangely overcast here, the light is filtered by something. Not clouds, something else. She doesn't want to look back or up, just ahead because something is there, waiting.

Music drifts in soft bursts from beyond the door, too faint to make out what it is but it's familiar. Then she remembers and drops to her knees. A small keyhole, light cutting through the gloom leads her forward. A golden bar, young and old reflected in mirrors. They twirl.

A hand rests on her shoulder and she closes her eyes. A smile forms.

I can't go in?

No, not yet. I'm sorry.

Can you open the door?

That's not for me, I'm somewhere else.

Have you always been here?

I - I think so. Ames, you can't stay here, you have to go back.

Amelia let her cheek press along his hand and felt the cool metal of a ring press against her skin.

You're dead?

Yes, but things have a way of coming back...Don't turn around.

I miss you, I never got to say goodbye.

I'll see you again, I know I will. He told me that I would have to be patient, that one day I'd be free.

Who told you?

His hand squeezes her shoulder and she's pulled to her feet. She turns, unable to help herself and through the shadows that creep around her vision she sees blue eyes and feels a hand pressing against her face. Lips touch hers and they're blazing with warmth, searing though her mouth and down into her lungs. It leaves a burning ball there, like a tiny sun.

Amelia gasps as she's wrenched away into the waiting darkness.

"Mom? Mom?"

Claire freezes for a moment as she sees the figure lying in the sand. Waves lap around her mom's legs, threatening to pull her back in. A rush of wings seem to brush against her suddenly and she jumps as Castiel bolts past her and grabs her mother, hooking his arms under her shoulders and drags her from the sea.

He falls to his knees, tilts her head back and breathes air into her mouth. Claire can see her mom's chest rise and then fall, gently, like she's asleep. A frenzied feeling builds in her stomach, a prelude to a scream.

"Don't just stand there! Help me!"

For a moment she thinks Castiel is shouting at her and she becomes even more still but then the man she didn't realise was there brushes past her with a sigh.

"You know you can do this yourself."

"No I can't! Please Gabriel." His eyes, wide with fear plead with such desperation that the man - angel - seems to deflate and he nods. He falls to her mother's other side and tilting his head he presses the tip of two fingers to her abdomen. Immediately her mother arches off the sand and coughs, water billows out of her mouth. Castiel turns her to her side and she coughs and shakes.

A strange keening noise starts deep in her throat and it ends up gasping out of her mouth. Tears burn her eyes and she stumbles forward, calling for her mother.

Amelia, dazed and in shock suddenly focus on Castiel and pulls him down to her with surprising strength. "D - death, he - ah" she grimaces, swallows and tries again, "told me you would di-"

"It's ok, don't try to speak yet." Castiel whispers gently, stopping her but his eyes are wide with surprise. His arm comes around Amelia's shoulders as he helps her sit up. She shudders against him but reaches out a hand to touch her daughters wet hair, fingers skim across her cheek and Claire almost throws herself into her arms. Gabriel stands, looking over the now calm sea and then down the beach to where Death stood.

"He's gone."

The sun shines brightly, burning away the mist.

They stay in that strange little town, now empty. Once Death had gone so had almost all the residents of Zoar, including Jesse. No bodies were found, they just simply disappeared. Amelia tries to console her daughter, sad about the friends she had made who were now gone and she hopes that it eases the pain. That first night they had slept curled up together, like when Claire was small, sandwiched between her and Jimmy. She wanted to ask Castiel to sleep next to them but he just sat in the chair by the bed, watching. She doesn't think he slept at all.

Now they are alone in the room, Claire sat in the kitchen downstairs, a late breakfast. Amelia sits on the end of the bed, Castiel leaning against the wall opposite. The cast that had covered his leg is gone, thanks to Gabriel. If thanks is the right word.

Amelia look at him and tries to speak, she has something urgent to tell him, something important. She had tried to tell him before. In burns in her chest. But when she finally forces the words out it's something else.

"He's dead, Jimmy, he's dead."

"I'm sorry." He looks into her eyes and then casts them down at her bare feet.

"I think I've always known it, you always did. You tormented yourself with it." She stands and goes to him. He looks up at her now, tired and drawn. She brushes her fingers down his face. Stubble prickles her skin. "It's ok, I'm not mad at you anymore." She smiles, surprised at her own admission. There is this vast space inside her now that used to be so weighed down, tight with anger and sadness. It isn't an empty feeling but one you get when you stare up into a blue sky. Limitless.

"You're not sad. I thought, if you knew, if you accepted it you would...I thought I would destroy you."

"That's a little dramatic," she smirks and it softens into a smile. "I've spent my life chasing ghosts, holding onto the love of one...you know that I wanted to dance? I had Claire and I had to give it up, I could only teach it to others, watch them move on...If I hadn't married Jimmy, my life would be so different. Maybe it will be."

He frowns at her, suspicious and moves closer to her. "Is that really you? What happened?"

"It's me, I promise."

He stares into her eyes, trying to see something beyond. "But you don't seem to care."

Her smile falls slowly and she grows serious. She touches her chest, rubs it. "I care, of course I do but there's something you don't understand." She presses her hands against his shoulders, stopping him from moving away. "Death told me something, he said -"

"No, Amelia no." He tries to move back, shaking his head but she holds onto him. "Whatever it is, I don't want to know." He says it emphatically, grabbing her wrists in his hands. She grinds her teeth, that feeling in her chest thumping.

"I can't keep this to myself...you think I don't care but that's not it," she looks around the room, the window, back at him, "the truth is none of this matters. None of it counts." Her hands still trapped in his she leans up and, hesitating, brushes her mouth against his. His eyelashes flicker against her skin in confusion and he pulls back.

"This doesn't count?" His question lingers in the air, and maybe scared of the answer he doesn't let her respond. Pushing his lips hungrily against hers they struggle against each other, pushing and pulling, until they reach the bed.

Gabriel stands at the end of the hallway, staring out the window as Castiel passes. The street is bathed in light and it warms the surface of the glass. He taps it and turns to look at his brother.

"You didn't say thank you." He points down at Castiel's healed leg, who sighs.

"Thanks." He turns to leave but the look on Gabriel's face stops him. His eyes are confused, a little sad but his mouth quirks at the corner.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"What?" Castiel straightens, suddenly irritated.

"This." He waves a hand through the air, up and down. "You broke your leg, you have to sleep, eat. You're goddamn junkie. I mean, shit, I do those things because they're fun, but not you."

"So?"

"You're human." It's said softly, gently, like someone trying to break a death to someone. Gabriel frowns in confusion and Castiel seethes.

"You think I want to be like this? You know when they left they took it all with them."

"Did they? I've been down here a lot longer then you, Lucifer even more. We were banished for rebelling, same as you. But never, never have we lost the essence that makes us who we are, that separates us from them. They never took anything from you Castiel, you've done this to yourself." Castiel blinks, mouth open but is unable to speak. Gabriel smiles and pats his shoulder. "Stop punishing yourself for something you don't deserve. You don't know how lucky you are." He delivers a quick one armed hug and disappears, leaving Castiel alone.

He turns from the window and stumbles, off balance. The white plaster cast is back around his leg, even the scrawl of signatures is there. Castiel glares at nothing.

"Asshole."

I'm staying here longer then I should, he thinks sensibly, but really it's not long enough. It never will be.

He told her that he didn't want to know what troubles her but Amelia can see it burning in his eyes, part of the same knowledge that burns inside her. At times she feels guilty for wanting to tell him and even more for the insatiable way it starts to consume him. When it gets to much he'll grab her and opens his mouth to ask but his eyes flare with fear. So he kisses her instead, pins her beneath him and when he comes he covers her eyes with his hand.

It wasn't fair.

"You want to leave, don't you?" He stops pacing and flicks her with a quick look. The heat bakes the tarmac that runs in front of her house. To him it's just a stop before they move on. The tarmac gives off a strange but pleasant smell. Castiel shrugs and looks west.

"Dean needs to know what's happened." He moves slowly towards her, using a crutch he had found and sits beside her on the porch. Claire is asleep on the swing chair. Amelia hasn't told her about herself and Castiel but she didn't need to. Her daughter was naturally a taciturn person, like herself and she keeps what she knows private. Amelia hopes that's she's happy but that's a selfish wish. They speak quietly.

"When will you go?"

"Tomorrow. Will you come with me? You and Claire?"

Amelia look at her sleeping daughter behind them, thinks about the years it has taken to reach her and shakes her had. "No. This is the safest place for her."

Castiel nods and looks away. His fingers scratch at the plaster, over and over again before he closes his hand into a fist. His eyes shine a brilliant blue, catching the falling light and she feels a dull ache.

"I want to stay with you," Amelia whispers, " but - but I can't stay there and wait for it to happen." She watches his jaw setting and his lips thin before he turns to her. He says nothing with a great effort, opens his mouth only to shut it and shake his head. Amelia watches him rise and stares up into his face, knowing what he won't say. He could stay with her, come back but he won't. He walks into the house and Claire sits up, alert and silent. Amelia goes to her and bends down to kiss her hair.

"Are you ok, with this?" She gestures to where Castiel had been. Claire shrugs.

"It's weird," she answers bluntly and then shrugs again, "but he's not staying, so..." she trails off awkwardly and rises to her feet but doesn't enter the house. "I'm gonna walk around for awhile. I'll be back before dark." She smiles, small and fast and walks away. Amelia stares after her and remains there long after she's gone.

"Don't worry, she'll forgive you. I can see she's the type." Amelia turns quickly and finds Crowley leaning against the side of the house. He nods at her in greeting as Amelia steps back a few paces.

"How did you get here?"

"With the boy gone the way over is open to all. Well, for now. So, looks like you and me are going to be neighbours!" He grins cheerfully and rubs his hands together. Amelia rolls her eyes and then thins them.

"You were working for him, weren't you? For Death?"

"He needed the Horsemen's rings to break the spell that was binding them to Lucifer. If I got 'em I was promised this place." He walks to the bottom of the porch, looking up at her carefully. She laughs very softly, shaking her head. "What?"

"Someone told me something, about the future. Funny how you can strive for something so hard only for it to be taken from you, like that." She snaps her fingers and the terrible knowledge she bares grows easier as she sees something like horror dawn on his face. But he quickly chuckles, shaking it off.

"Everything ends sooner or later my love." He lifts his head and waves up at the house. He laughs. "I better be off before he tries to beat me up with his walking stick." He winks at her and walks away but then stops, eyes thinning against the sun. "How long have we got?"

Amelia doesn't respond and Crowley disappears as Castiel reaches her side, growling a curse under his breath.

"Don't worry about it, he can't hurt us." She takes his hand and leads him back inside.

The Atlantic ocean waves rubs back and forth at the shore and the wind roars in their ears. The sun casts long soft shadows out behind them and in the light her hair burns red. The boat rocks side to side, as if impatient.

"I think I should give this back to you." He holds the ring up between his fingers and she looks down at it. She glides the pad of her finger around it and it feels strangely cool in the heat. She gazes up at him and shakes her head.

"It not me you have to return it to."

He smirks and sighs, looking down and then squints his eyes at her, gaze inquisitive. "What if we trade? You give me your ring and you take this? Then we can both have things that don't belong to us."

She thins her lips for a moment and he can't read her expression at all. Then she smiles and slips her ring off her finger, bemused. As they exchange rings she seems younger, as she must have done when these rings were originally exchanged. He lifts his hand and brushes her hair back behind her ear, head titled to the side and regards her for a long time. The weight of it drains the youth that had rose momentarily to her face. This is it, she thinks.

"Tell me."

She stares into his eager eyes and she moves out of his hold and turns to stare at the sea. "I thought you were leaving because you didn't want to know."

"You could come with me but you won't. You said it yourself."

"And if you stayed the truth would push you away from me. I know it will." She tightens her fist around the ring in her hand and lowers her head sadly. "Ever since he told me I have this drive, compulsion to tell you because I think it was meant for you. It's your message."

He takes hold of her arms and makes her face him. His face belies a grimace that he can't hide. "Just tell me Amelia."

"It's the end of the world."

He chuckles, the tension in his arms slacking. "We all know that."

Amelia gives the fainest smile and then stares deeply into his eyes. "A year, you have a year. In the summer, when the roses bloom." She recites it clearly and he doesn't move, doesn't breathe. That small sun in her chest flares, grows small until it's just a warm flicker and that vast peace is alone. Wondering if he will keep her there until the night arrives Castiel suddenly drops his arms and straightens. She waits for him to say something and when he does the sun is touching the horizon.

"I've died before, this body was destroyed but I came back." He shakes his head with a strange humour playing over his lips. "You can't cheat death indefinitely. But that doesn't matter does it?" His voice is bitter. He looks down at the ring in his hand and for an agonising moment she thinks he's going to throw it into the sea but instead he pockets it and looks at her.

Does he look at her differently? Does he blame her? Himself? She stares, unable to look away and no matter how hard she tries she can't read him at all. This is an angel, void of any human attachments or concerns. Its a familiar image, recalling the first time she had witnessed this angel with her husband's face. But then the longing had been clear to see and she had felt strangely comforted, if confused. She prepares to leave, thinking this will be her only farewell and how ironically fitting it is when he grabs her hand and pulls her towards him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He repeats it into her hair, against her neck and cheek until she feels his lips rest against her lips, mouthing his apology and she embraces him fiercely, crushing their bodies together as they act out their last goodbyes. She still feels the pressure of his body against hers as she watches him sail away, growing smaller until there's nothing on the sea but the fading light.

"I'll see you again," she stares up at the clouds, "god willing."

Coda

Brain dead.

Shrimping boat off Delacroix Island, Louisiana.

Yellow room.

The words ring his head from the time he had woken in this place, something to take his mind off the aches and pains that aggravate him. He looks at his bare toes and wiggles them, wondering if he'll be able to get up and walk without assistance. Making a simple phone call had been ridiculously taxing.

This is what it's like to be human? How tiring.

"Did you get through to who you needed?" The nurse who had been looking after him asks as she walks in and Castiel nods. She takes the phone away and as she does he notices a cream envelope resting on top of the cabinet across from him.

"What's that?"

"Oh, I almost forgot!" She picks it up and passe it over to him with a smile. "It's from your wife."

Castiel freezes, the envelop clasped in his fingers. His already disoriented mind seems to whirl and he stares at the nurse in great confusion. Was she joking?

"My wife?"

"Yeah, she's been here for a few days, at your bedside. We contacted the police and they informed her. It's a miracle, she told me that you had been missing." She stares at him, unable to hide her curiosity but Castiel gazes at her blankly and she blinks. "Are you ok?"

"Yes. Where is she?" He snaps his eyes to the open door, half expecting her to walk in any second. The nurse looks sympathetic, for some reason.

"She had to go back home to check up on Claire, your daughter? She came on short notice and - well, we were uncertain that you would ever wake up again. But she was so determined that you would. I phoned her when you woke, I think she was a little shocked. She and your daughter should arrive tomorrow."

Castiel listened to this impassively, nodding when appropriate but inside his stomach was doing something strange. Now he knows how apt that phrase about butterflies is. He suddenly smiles and lifts up the envelope. It was addressed to no one.

"If you wouldn't mind?"

"Sure." The nurse smiles and exits, closing the door behind her. Taking a deep breath he rips open the paper and pulls out a small note.

I know it's you, I knew the moment I saw you. The doctors said that it was a miracle that you survived, that you healed so quickly. They have no idea how true it is. I thought about waiting until you woke to give this to you but the truth is I'm a coward. I can barely look at you when you sleep so I don't know what will happen if we were ever face to face again.

They found Jimmy's library card in the lining of his coat, that's how they found me. They also found his wedding ring, it must have slipped through a hole in his pocket. Did you put it in there? I don't know why I'm asking. I'm really writing this to ask a request and I know that I shouldn't hope but I do. So please if there's any chance that I'll see him again, that you haven't forgotten me, then please take it. If not then leave it here and I'll know. I'll stop waiting.

If you do agree please take care of it.

Amelia Novak.

Castiel re-read it a few more times, until he could recite it word for word. The sight of her handwriting, small and neat, is so shockingly familiar to him that for a moment he doesn't know who he is. The emotions that flare up within him are at once alien and second nature and it's only now that he finds himself in such a depleted state that he realises that it's always been there. Another man's love, now his own.

Castiel can understand perfectly why she doesn't want to see him because he would never be able to look into her eyes. He wouldn't be able to hide it. Trying to clamp down on this surge of feelings he turns his attention to the envelope and the one last thing it contains.

Her wedding band is tiny and forms a perfect gold circle in the middle of his palm. It's shiny and well cared for, considering the age of it and he feels a stab of guilt. He had neglected Jimmy's ring, had took it off and pocketed it as soon as he noticed it. Out of sight, out of mind.

Like her, like all of them. I'm such a selfish creature...

He rubs his thumb over the smooth curve of the ring and knows that somewhere she's doing the same.