This comes in two parts and here's the first one.

The Letters and Words

The Letters

My Dearest Roy,

If you are reading this it means that something went wrong. I am so sorry, Roy. I never wanted to leave you. I knew that following this lead would be dangerous, but I had to do it, for Al and for myself. Please forgive me.

Your Edward

Roy walked through the heavy rain. It had been raining for a long time, day in day out, and there was no end in sight. Just dark, cold and wet. The streets were empty of life. Just like the man himself. People were in their homes, dry, warm and spending time with their families. Roy kept his steady pace and didn't hurry even though he was soaking wet and shivering with cold. He'd left his umbrella in his office. It was dark. Normally, he would have hurried home as quickly as he could. He hated the rain. He felt totally useless and not like himself. He used to be fire through and through and the rain suffocated him. Now, though, there was no fire left in Roy. It all died that day. Normally, he would have hurried home to be with Ed. But not anymore. There was no reason to hurry.

Roy walked past the library and for a moment he thought he saw a small figure in a red coat walking through the doors. He hurried his steps but then the figure disappeared like mist in the mornings over the fields in Resembool. Roy wanted to disappear, too.

The rain got harder as Roy walked deep in thought. It was difficult to see where he was walking. Rainwater washed his face and made his ink black hair stick to his neck and forehead. Ed had disappeared somewhere in the North Area, or it could have been anywhere as far as Roy knew but the last he's heard of Ed, he was heading to the North City. Then there was nothing. No a word from him, no phone calls. Roy had been standing at the train station countless of times, waiting and hoping. Maybe the boy was on his way to him? That's where Roy was coming from now. The afternoon train came and people stepped out. His eyes searched for golden fair hair, but he couldn't see the one he was looking for.

Roy made the effort to go to the office every day even though it had no meaning for him anymore. He got up, washed himself, ate breakfast and while doing all of this, he would ignore the evidence that someone else, too, had lived in the house. Roy ignored Ed's clothes, Ed's hair brush and Ed's books. There were so many books.

When he came home late at night he would, however, let himself drown in memories. He would smell Ed's clothes, hold his hair brush and other things that belonged to him and read his books.

The he would lay on the bed, on Ed's side and do nothing. No, there was no fire left in Roy.

Roy opened the door and closed it quietly behind him. It was pitch dark inside the house, but Roy didn't bother to switch the lights on. Instead, he walked to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. His clothes dripped rainwater on the bed covers. The rain continued to be heavy outside and the raindrops hit the bedroom window hard. This was the most it had rained during this season of rain and misery. Rain drops formed rives as they travelled down the glass.

It was a month after Ed disappeared when Roy found the first letter. It was hidden in a place Ed had though Roy would find it. Roy didn't even go near his study for a long time. He despised work and everything to do with the military because it only reminded him how it had taken Ed away from him but one day he sat at his desk and opened the drawer. And there it was; a folded piece of paper.

And then the gates opened and Roy cried until he felt empty to the core.

There were more messages. One in the kitchen cupboard, one between Roy's important alchemy book, one in his jacket pocket and one hidden under the bed. It was like Ed was back, talking to him. Roy read the messages hungrily and memorised every letter of every word Ed had written to him.

Wet and cold, Roy laid down on the bed. He coughed and closed his eyes sleepily. And just as he wanted, the sleep came and took him away, soothed his consciousness, making the endless longing a little bit easier to bear.

Even in his sleep Ed's voice echoed in his head. The letters… Ed was trying to make it easier for him with the notes, Roy knew it. Ed didn't want him to give up on life.

It pains me to think that you would be unhappy. This was the one he found in his laundry basket. It seemed that every time Roy did something like a normal human being would do, continued to live just a little bit, he got a few letters of encouragement in return from Ed.

Roy turned in his sleep and his hands searched the empty space next to him as though following an instinct

I won't let you close your heart. This one Roy found in his best shoe after allowing Hughes to take him out for a drink. He hadn't been out for days then.

Roy's arms snaked around a pillow and hugged it close to his chest.

I would love to spare you from the pain. In a coffee cup…

Then why did you go?

You need to turn away from me. This one made Roy angry.

Roy made a little unhappy noise.

I will wait for you forever.

The voice sounded so real.

"I will never leave you again."So real.

Roy liked the dream. He swore he could even feel Ed's touch caressing his face.

"Everything will be allright," the voice said.

"I love you, Ed," Roy mumbled.