For Onataria
Mr. Schue was late, as usual. The Glee kids were playing their usual game of "I bet you wouldn't!" which was a game they made up, but very much enjoyed. It was all the fun of Truth or Dare, without the petty awkwardness of dealing with "truth".
"I bet you wouldn't…lick the floor, Puck!"
Puck got out of his chair and dragged his long tongue against the floor, disgusted squeals coming from every direction. "Oh please." He replied, "I would lick anything."
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Finn laughed and winked at Kurt. Kurt smiled back. Everyone thought that Kurt and Finn were so close because they were brothers now, but in reality, they had been secretly dating for nearly two months.
"Tina…I bet you wouldn't…" Puck thought for a moment. "show your boobs."
"You're right, I wouldn't!" Tina laughed. "The girls are for Artie's eyes only."
"Does that mean I get to see them?" Artie suggested.
"Nope!" The group of kids laughed uproariously. Artie rolled his eyes.
Tina giggled. "Kurt, I bet you wouldn't—"
"Okay guys! New theme for the week!" Mr. Schue walked in. Tina whispered something in Kurt's ear and he grinned and nodded.
Mr. Schuester cleared his throat. "Okay, guys. What was your favorite movie as a kid?"
"Sister Act." Kurt replied.
"Karate Kid." Mike grinned.
"SpiceWorld." Rachel stated proudly, much to everyone's amusement.
"I could never choose between The Sandlot and Angels in the Outfield." Finn admitted.
"KAZAAM!" Artie exclaimed. Everyone giggled.
"Good Burger." Tina's face turned red as she spoke.
"Space Jam!" Matt replied, slapping Mike a high five.
"Warriors of Virtue." Mercedes said.
Quinn crossed her legs. "I wasn't allowed to watch movies as a little kid…my parents told me TV came from Satan."
Mr. Schue rolled his eyes. "Anyone else?"
"I liked the Wizard of Oz." Santana crossed her arms in front of her.
"Fiddler on the roo—" Puck found everyone staring at him in shock. "Uhm…THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE!"
Brittany raised her hand.
"Yes, Brittany?" Mr. Schue asked hopefully.
"The Matrix." She said solemnly.
Everyone stared at Brittany in silence.
"BONER!" Kurt yelled from the back of the room. Everyone laughed. Tina gave him a high five. "I told you I would. Never underestimate me."
"Okay guys, calm down." Mr. Schue was visibly frustrated. "The point I was trying to make…was that Disney movies have had a huge influence on our society."
"Um, Mr. Schue?" Mercedes raised her hand. "Nobody named a Disney movie."
"I know, Mercedes…" Mr. Schuester finally made his way to the white board and wrote in big letters, DISNEY. "This week's assignment: Disney."
Everyone groaned, except for Rachel. She stood and clapped. "Girls vs. Boys. Best performance of a Disney song gets to choose a number for regionals."
"Mr. Schue?"
"Yes, Kurt. You can be on the girls' team." Kurt nodded enthusiastically.
"Unfair!" Finn exclaimed. "We're outnumbered AND lost the person who looks most like a Disney prince!"
"Excuse me, but did you have Carnation Instant Gay for breakfast?" Puck sneered.
"I don't know; you took all of the Carnation Instant Bitch." Finn replied. "Besides, I'm right. Kurt just reeks of Disney potential." Kurt beamed.
"He's right, Puck," Mike replied. "He's got smooth skin…and rosy cheeks…" he stared into space.
"Stop that!" Matt swatted him on the back of the head. Mike rubbed where he made contact.
"Sorry."
"I have an objection!" Puck exclaimed. "We're seriously outnumbered, since me and Artie are the only men on the guys' team!" Artie and Puck fist-bumped.
"Guys, I'm done with your complaining!" Mr. Schue yelled over the jumble of voices. "It's Disney, time to get happy, damn it!"
The girls and Kurt got into a huddle in the corner of the room. "Okay ladies, I have the best idea ever. I think we should sing—"
"I REJECT YOUR IDEA AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN!" Rachel exclaimed. "We're going to sing 'If You Can Dream'!"
The group look baffled except for Brittany and Santana, who were grabbing each other's boobs.
"What are you two doing?" Mercedes asked skeptically.
Brittany turned around. "Grabbing booooooooooobies!"
"We're seeing who fits better into my Jasmine Halloween costume from when I was 14. I think my boobs fit it better." Santana replied.
"That's not what you told—OWW." Brittany cried as Santana kicked her.
"We're doing costumes?" Tina asked.
"Um, what the fuck is 'If You Can Dream'? I don't remember that from ANY of the Disney movies." Kurt had his hands on his hips and wore an expression that was intended to murder Rachel.
"It's only the best Disney song ever…" Rachel's voice trailed off as she stared into space, undoubtedly dreaming of Finn dressed as Prince Charming.
"Back to reality, Princess!" Kurt nudged Rachel. "Where is the song from?"
"I first heard it at Disney on Ice."
The rest of the group exchanged a look. "So…it's not even a real Disney song?" Quinn asked.
"Well, no."
"I know what song we can do!" Brittany raised her hand in the air and jumped up and down.
"We're doing 'If You Can Dream'!" Rachel insisted.
Brittany grinned widely. "We can do POP GOES THE WEASEL!"
"Brittany, sweetheart, let's be quiet for a while." Santana put her arms around Brittany and stoked her hair lovingly.
"So…I'll work on all of our costumes!" Rachel clapped happily. "Let's see…Tina will be Mulan, Mercedes will be…"
"The BLACK princess? Huh, racist?" Mercedes crossed her arms. "You know, since Tina has to be Mulan since she's Asian?"
"But…Mulan is my favorite…" Tina mentioned quietly.
"Oh…my bad, girl…"
"Fine, who do you guys wanna be?"
"I call Jasmine." Santana raised her hand.
"Cinderella!" came from Brittany.
"I always liked Ariel…" Quinn said sheepishly.
"Snow White." Mercedes said.
"Mercedes…" Rachel sighed.
"Snow White has black hair." Mercedes replied, daring Rachel to contradict her.
Kurt put a hand on Mercedes' shoulder. "And white skin, dear. It's in her NAME."
"FINE. I call Pocahontas."
"Alright!" Rachel clapped her hands. "I'll be Snow White. Now, Kurt…"
"I'm not wearing a dress." Kurt insisted.
"Oh, I know…I was thinking of which Princesses we haven't covered…"
"I'm not gonna be Belle! Yellow is not my color at all."
"But you COULD be Prince Adam from Beauty and the Beast!"
Kurt seemed to consider this. "Okay. But I swear, if you come at me with a ball gown, I will get Mercedes to murder you."
"And no offense sweetheart, but I don't need another reason." Mercedes snapped.
Rachel rolled her eyes and stomped off, presumably to pray to her Finn shrine and sew Disney Princess dresses.
Meanwhile, all the boys were gathered in the other corner of the room.
"I don't even know any Disney songs…" Matt said sadly.
"Well, I don't care what we sing, but we have to win, even if Disney IS gayer than Kurt wearing a strap on in a swimming pool." Puck said, sitting down. "The girls win everything…plus, this could be our chance to actually sing something badass at regionals."
"I think we should do 'I Just Can't Wait to be King' from The Lion King!" Finn exclaimed. "Puck! You should sing it!"
"Can I wear a lion costume?"
"Yeah!" Finn thought for a moment. "Everyone just dress up as your favorite character. We'll make it work."
And with that, the boys left.
…
"This is literally the worst idea ever, Rachel." Kurt sighed, holding the sheet with the lyrics on it.
"IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SONG!" Rachel hopped up and down angrily.
"I disagree strongly! My part talks about climbing mountains! Have you seen the shoes I'm going to be wearing during the song? I'm not climbing shit in those shoes!"
"Will you two stop arguing?" Mercedes snapped her fingers. "My Pocahontas dress is so sexy…there's going to be boys drooling all over the place, honey."
Tina raised her hand. "Can we make Brittany and Santana stop making out? The smacking noises are making my rosacia act up."
"It's called blushing, Tina." Quinn sighed. "I've had to watch them make out I don't know how many times on the cheerleading bus."
"It's gross."
"STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC, DAMN BREEDER!" Kurt bellowed at Tina.
"My boyfriend can't walk!" Tina cried, running out of the auditorium.
"You switched back to regular coffee, didn't you, Kurt?" Mercedes asked.
Kurt nodded solemnly.
…
Will walked into Emma's office. "I took your advice, Emma. The kids are loving the Disney theme!"
Emma smiled. "Really?"
"Yeah, it's great." He took her hands in his and kissed her gently.
"Because I just saw Artie dressed as an elderly woman, being chased down the hallway by Puck, who was dressed as a lion. Puck was screaming something about the circle of life…"
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, um…" she thought for a moment. "Artie was wearing a gray wig and a dress, and Puck had on a tan unitard with a mane and a tail, and he was running after Artie's chair singing the theme song to the Lion King. Artie looked scared."
"Um. I'll be right back." Will ran out the door.
…
"Why was that wrong for me to do?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A REAL LION, PUCK!"
"And you're not a real mermaid, Quinn, yet you're wearing a weird flipper thing!"
"But I'm not in the ocean."
"I don't see what that has to do with anything. I'm not in the jungle; what's your point?"
"Ugh. If you weren't cute, I think I'd hate you."
"Isn't the first time I've heard that, and won't be the last. But you do love me, right babe?"
Quinn sighed. "I do, Simba."
"Oh, Ariel…grrrr…" Puck growled and kissed his mermaid girlfriend.
"So, this dressing up thing…I think we should do it more often!"
"You read my mind."
…
Of course Rachel's late, Kurt thought. I look like an idiot dressed as a prince and I'm alone on a lit stage. This has Stephen King's "Carrie" written all over it.
Kurt was wearing the costume that the beast wore at the very end—blue jacket with gold lining, gold vest, white ruffled shirt, and black pants with black dress shoes. Rachel asked their group to meet one last time before they performed to go over the song and, like always, Kurt was the first to arrive while all the girls primped in the bathroom.
"Well, look who's looking sexy…" Kurt heard from the curtains.
Finn walked out onto the stage, wearing the exact same thing Kurt was wearing. "Hey…" Kurt's eyes roamed all over Finn as he got closer to him. "now THIS is embarrassing. Wearing the same outfit."
Finn laughed. "We agreed to dress up as our favorites. I chose the beast, because I ended up with the beauty." He lightly tapped Kurt on the nose. He blushed.
"Well, I know this isn't a fairy tale. Two princes never end up together."
"That's why I prefer to live in reality. That way I end up with you." Finn replied, grinning. "I've missed you all week. We've both been so busy with the Disney crap; we've never had a minute alone!"
"Well, we're alone now…" Kurt looked up into his handsome prince's face.
Two princes, on a lit stage, kissing passionately. It was a truly magical Disney moment. Kurt's hands were tangled in Finn's hair, and Finn's hands were lingering somewhere under Kurt's jacket.
"NO WAY."
Kurt and Finn jumped apart as Rachel's voice echoed throughout the auditorium. The entire Glee club was behind her.
"Finn, I thought you loved me!"
"Rachel," Finn said as delicately as he could, "I've told you multiple times, I don't." He looked out into the darkness of the auditorium and grabbed Kurt's hand. "Kurt and I have been dating for a while now."
Puck laughed. "Like we all didn't already know."
"What?" Kurt cocked his head to the side.
"Kurt, sweetheart…you two make puppy eyes at each other all the time." Quinn said, smiling.
Kurt and Finn grinned at each other and shared another kiss to the applause of the club—except Rachel, whose sobs could be heard quietly.
"Okay, guys!" Mr. Schue said, "The boys are first…what the hell are you guys supposed to be?"
"We dressed as our favorites." Puck replied. "I'm Simba!"
"Sebastian, man!" Matt said, waving a claw in the air.
"The Beast."
"Mulan's Grandmother." Artie replied, smoothing out his dress.
"Aladdin," said Mike, with a tip of his tiny hat.
"O…kay…" Mr. Schuester tried not to laugh at Artie in his dress…or Matt being a giant crab, for that matter.
The boys' performance was hilarious and fun; full of energy. Then, the girls and Kurt took the stage.
"There is a world where hope
And dreams can last for all time
A wonderous place to go
You'll know it when your heart findsHearing our song as old as time
Hold my hand, we're gonna fly
What a magic ride
And just a kiss awayIf you can dream
The wish we're making on a star
Is coming true
The colors of the wind will lead
My heart right back to you'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining all through
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the day
If you can dreamSomeday my prince will come
It's certain as the sunrise
Once day the slipper fits
Then you see the love in his eyes…"
Kurt went out into the audience and took Finn's hand."It's a tale as old as time
There's no mountain we can't climb
When you're finally mine
And just a kiss away."
Finn smiled at him. It was the truth."If you can dream
The wish we're making on a star
Is coming true
The colors of the wind will lead
My heart right back to you'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining all through
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the day
If you can dreamSo the story goes
Never die the rose
There's a whole new world
Waiting there for us
Waiting just for us!If you can dream
The wish we're making on a star
Is coming true
The colors of the wind will lead
My heart right back to you'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining all through
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the dayOh, love will save the day
If you can dreamYou can dream..."
The boys and Mr. Schue clapped. Even Puck had admitted that the girls and Kurt had bested them. As they left, Rachel looked back at Kurt and Finn, walking hand in hand.
"So, it wasn't such a dumb song after all, huh Kurt?"
"I will never admit that!" He said indignantly. Rachel smiled to herself as she walked down the hallway, hugging herself.
"So, two princes, huh? Suck on that, Walt Disney!" Finn said, as he kissed Kurt one more time.