Stop.

Can it be stopped?

The pain.

Stop.

Please, I'm going crazy.

It's unbearable.

The pain.

"Hey, Yuu!"

"I'll cut you up."

"Yuu-chan, what's up?"

"If you call me that one more time, I'll kill you."

"Yuu! I'm bored. When's Allen coming back?"

"The hell would I know. Now DIE."

Stop.

It hurts.

...It really hurts.

"Did you hear?"

His ears perked up and his eye brightened immediately. He was bored, and he needed something to do. Gossip was always fun to listen in on.

"Allen Walker..."

"You're kidding!"

"That's impossible..."

He strained his ears to hear. What was this about Allen? What had happened? Had he finally kicked the Earl's ass all the way to the godforsaken moon?

"...really dead?"

He felt his heart skip a beat. They couldn't mean that Allen was dead... so he must have killed the Earl...

...Right?

Stop. Please!

It hurts so much!

...If I say it's not true... you'll come back, right?

...Right?

"Hey, hang on a second," he said, swiveling in his seat. "What was that about Allen?"

...If I say you're alive, you'll come back, right?

"Exorcist-sama... have you not heard?"

"Heard what?"

The finders glanced at each other nervously.

"They... they say..." the finder who spoke hesitated.

He looked questioningly at each face, his green eye trying to scour answers from their expressions.

"They say... Allen Walker is dead."

His stomach dropped. He couldn't believe it. He must have heard them wrong. "Sorry, I didn't hear you right, what did you say?"

"Allen Walker... is dead."

If I tell you you're an idiot for going out and dying and leaving all your friends behind, you'll come back right?

You're an idiot for going out and dying and leaving all your friends behind.

... Why aren't you back?

Stop the pain.

You've always come to the rescue.

Why not now?

Why?

Come back... Allen.

"Allen, you can't be dead, you can't be... Allen!" Lavi whispered. His eye burned with unshed tears that threatened to land on the polished black wood underneath him. "You idiot. You moron. You damn bean sprout. You can't just go and die."

He clenched his hand, fingernails digging into the skin until it bled. The pain was nothing compared to the one in his heart, the pain that was ripping him apart.

Beside him, Lenalee sobbed with grief.

"You made Lenalee cry… Come back and apologize," he squeezed his eyes shut. "Allen."

He could hear other people behind him; finders, scientists, Komui, Bak, exorcists. Each voice he heard muttering Allen's name only confirmed that he was gone.

"This is just a really bad joke, isn't it?" He almost laughed. His lips quivered, his eyes burned, his heart thumped erratically. "A bad, bad joke."

Stop the pain.

A hollow feeling in his chest. A sick feeling in his stomach. A weakness in all the muscles of his body.

A pain in his heart that should never have existed.

Stop the pain.

His heart – Lavi Bookman's heart – was supposed to be cold, empty, emotionless. Yet Allen had come along and changed all of that… because of Allen, he had changed –

'Your emotions are so strong, they're almost dazzling.'

– Because of Allen, Lenalee, Kanda, everyone else… But Allen had started the change.

And now Allen was gone.

'It's as if, like the light, you are going to fade away.'

Gone, like many others Lavi had watched die in battles before he had become 'Lavi.'

Just another piece of history.

Who am I?

Another dead person in a war.

I am Lavi, the 49th 'me.'

Just another person, another 'friend.'

You can call me Lavi, though there are some who call me 'Junior.' Can I call you bean sprout?

Just another person who would be forgotten in history…

I became an exorcist to destroy akuma. Not to kill human beings.

Another brat in Lavi's life. A brat who had changed 'Lavi,' who had made 'Lavi' into a Bookman failure, who had enabled 'Lavi' to feel pain for the death of a 'friend.'

"Damn you, Allen," Lavi said through gritted teeth. "If you were gonna make me this way… you shouldn't have died."

Stop.

Stop the pain.

I'm going crazy.

This pain hurts more than any other.

"K-Kanda," he heard Lenalee say. He looked up, and the unshed tears spilled from his eye, blurring Kanda's form.

"Yuu…"

Did he care? Did Kanda Yuu care that Allen was dead? Had Allen changed Kanda, like he had changed Lavi, from an emotionless bastard to one that felt pain?

"Che. You damn idiot. Damn dead bean sprout."

It's ALLEN, Ba-Kanda!

Words that would never be said again. Words that were history; words that would only be remembered for as long as those who remembered them were alive. Words that Lavi would remember for the rest of his life.

Words that were said by a bright, white-haired boy who was no longer alive.

Stop.

It hurts.

Please, help.

…Allen.

Yeah, okay, so another chapter to this... not so greatly written angst story... I used to be able to write really good ones... I wonder where that ability went (or if that's even a good thing)?

I just got the idea in my head, sat down to write, and it came out like vomit XP.

Lots of love to the reviewers and favoriters; it was really quite a shock to see all those messages coming in :)