Disclaimer: Futurama doesn't belong to me. Blah blah blah.

Author's Note: Uh, I was bored? And watching WAY too much Futurama? Sorry? :D I love crack couples. Please let me know what you think.

In Other News... by Mika Casey

"For the last week, robot blernsball players have been protesting their exclusion from the major leagues." Linda smiled forcefully at the √2 News camera, though she desperately didn't want to. She could feel the tears begin to well up behind her eyes, and she had to blink hard to stop them. She saw a light above the camera flash, telling her that the live broadcast had been switched to somewhere outside the studio.

Her fellow newscaster shifted next to her. He was Morbo: the big, green, mean newsmonster for the √2 News. They had become great friends over the eleven years they worked together, and he knew when she was upset. "Linda, what is wrong?" He asked in his deep, threatening voice.

The blonde woman trembled slightly. "R-Rob left me." She was referring to her husband of fifteen years, a handsome plastic surgeon. "Morbo, he's been cheating on me for years! How did I not see it?" A tear escaped the corner of her eye.

Morbo's giant eyes blinked sympathetically. He and his wife, Fawn, had separated several years earlier. She'd been sick of Earth, and hence Morbo as well: she took their two children and returned to their home planet.

"He was a stupid, puny human." He reminded her. Morbo knew that Linda did not fall under the category of "puny humans," because she was so much bigger than that. "You deserve better than that sack of organs."

Linda flashed a smile up at Morbo, but the tear was still hovering on her cheek. He mindlessly brought a large green finger up to her face and brushed it away.

Her smile vanished. The alien's skin was surprisingly soft and warm. Instinctively, she grasped his hand. She saw a vein pulse with an unusual intensity in his forehead. "Morbo," she almost whispered. "Have you been with anyone since Fawn left?"

He seemed surprised by the question. "No." He answered truthfully, with no hesitation. Morbo was not ashamed. He seemed to lean closer to her, but she chalked that up to her imagination and misty eyesight.

Seven years of loneliness. Linda mused. That would send anyone's yearning through the roof.

Linda shut her eyes, trying to block out her alarming thoughts. She opened her mouth slightly to say something, but suddenly felt a warm mouth practically devouring hers.

Her eyes flew open, and she saw Morbo taking his face away from hers. He was adjusting his shirt and facing the camera, and Linda was still staring slack-jawed in a state of shock. The cameras flashed, signaling that they were back on air, and Morbo began to speak.

"In other news, three puny humans went missing today..."

Morbo didn't get to finish, because Linda grabbed his chair and turned it to face her so she could kiss him hard on the mouth. This kiss was much deeper than the one he had initiated, and more forceful from both parties. It lasted all of five seconds, and Linda knew that everyone with a television was watching.

Linda pulled her face away, and pushed Morbo back towards the camera. He coughed and resumed telling his story. He wasn't embarrassed; the only human he wanted to impress was Linda, and she had been the one who kissed him. He chuckled as he spoke.

The woman was scribbling something down on a piece of paper, and passed it to him on the table. Morbo glanced down at it, and turned slightly to nod at her.

Linda reached for it to rip it up, but not before rereading it and smiling smugly.

My place tonight?