The 3rd Degree

The IKY'dU Hotch/Reid Writing Challenge: Round #2 Entry

Title:The 3rd Degree

Pen name: the-vampire-act

Genre: hurt/comfort; angst

Summary: There were 3 degrees to every relationship, and once you reached the last one, you were sure to get burned.

"...I've never done this before, but I hope you like it. R&R?..."

Spencer Reid was familiar with the three degrees in every relationship. Before the first degree, there was a short period of time where everything was okay; your lover- in his case, Hotch- seemed to love you unconditionally, did anything to make you happy, and you never fought. Every night, you would cuddle and he would tell you how beautiful he thought you were.

But then came the first degree.

Spencer had tried to keep an argument from coming, but it couldn't be prevented. They had had a tough case, exhausted, and not in the mood from pleasantries. Spencer could tell that Hotch was upset about him, but he wouldn't let him in. Spencer finally had it and went into the living room, ignoring Hotch completely. Hotch got upset over him leaving, and they argued about it. For a while, Spencer thought that the fight would get worse, but Hotch finally caved in and let him in.

The first degree left him a bit warm, but Spencer quickly fought it off, thinking everything would be okay.

That was, until the 2nd degree came up.

The BAU had just gotten off the Anthrax case, and Reid had only been out of the hospital for a week. All the stresses and pain that the case had caused Reid to think more and more about his former addiction. Afraid that he would relapse, he decided to go to a 'meeting'. Unfortunately, he forgot to tell Hotch.

Once Reid had came home, a very worried and upset Hotch demanded answers. "Where were you? I was so worried about you! You said you'd be home, and when I couldn't find you or a note explaining where you were, I called, but you didn't answer."

"I'm sorry, I just-" Reid stuttered, taken aback by Hotch's odd behavior.

"Where were you?" Hotch hissed.

"I went to a meeting."

"That Beltway Clean Cops you were talking about?" Hotch asked. Reid just nodded. "You didn't relapse,did you?"

"No, but I just thought-"

"Then why did you go? I thought you had this under control."

"I do, but I wanted to go."

"Why?"

"Because I felt like I needed to. After our last case, I jut wanted to talk things out and help get my mind off...it."

"You can talk to me." Hotch interjected.

"Yeah, but you don't understand. You've never used drugs before."

The rest of the night, Hotch and Reid went back and forth between trust issues they had. The conversation had started off focusing on Reid's drug problem, but it ended with Hotch telling Reid that he couldn't trust him after voicing of list of complaints against Reid. Finally, Hotch had enough and left. Reid didn't even attempt to stop him.

The next morning, Hotch came back to a crying Reid. He apologized, and after talking a little more, they were both okay. Reid had made it through the 2nd degree with just a small burn that would quickly heal.

But then, a mere month or two after the Anthrax scare, Hotch's ex-wife was murdered, bringing on the third and final degree.

Hotch let Reid hold him as he cried all night, never once saying a word. After a few hours, they both finally fell to sleep.

The next morning at breakfast, Hotch finally started talking. "You'll never replace her."

"I know." Reid replied.

"She gave birth to my son. I did love her; I never wanted to leave her."

"Haley was good for you." Reid said, not knowing what else to say.

"She couldn't take it, though. I was never home, almost always at the BAU. She just didn't understand what it was like to be an FBI agent."

"I understand."

"I loved her. She loved me."

"I love you."

"I loved you."

Reid's fork fell to the table. "Loved?"

"Yes, loved."

"You..you don't anymore?" Reid choked out.

"I only thought I loved you. I was wrong. I just wanted someone to fill in for Haley. I couldn't stand being alone. You were there, and you were willing. I-I'm sorry, but I think I took advantage over you. I didn't mean to, honestly. I really thought I loved you."

"You can still love me. Haley's dead, but that doesn't have to change us." Reid said desperately.

"No, it changes everything. Even I did love you, I couldn't stay with you."

"Why?"

"Because of Jack. He needs his father now, and I have to move back in with him. How am I suppose to explain you to him? How could he understand that his daddy loved anyone but his mom?"

"We don't have to tell him right away. We could wait until he's older. He'd understand; he's a smart kid..."

"No, Reid. I can't do this anymore. It's not fair to you-to me. I can't keep pretending to be in love when I know that Haley is-was the only person I could love...But I blew it." Hotch sighed. "You're still young. You can find someone who can actually love you, understand you, even. I can't take care of you anymore- I can't love you. I'm sorry, but it's time for me to go." Hotch stood up and gave Reid a quick kiss. "I hope you're happy Reid; I hope someone can make you happy again, at least." Without another word, he left.

As soon as the door closed, Reid fell to the floor, tears welling in his eyes. The 3rd degree left a nasty burn, and it felt like it would never heal. Reid couldn't think about that, though. It had to heal- he couldn't live with it anymore. Now that Hotch was gone, he had no one, and he was all alone again.

Sting.

Singe.

Burn.