Heartbeat, a harry potter fanfic

Am I alone in your heart?
Have I hope with your heart?
She's such a teaser, she's such a star.
Give me a reason or gimme a chance.
Am I alone in your heart, or am I alone...?
It tears me apart.
Am I alone?

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Give me an evening, or give me a night.
I'll show you the time, of your life.
I'll walk you home safe, from the dark.
I'll give you my jacket, I'll give you my heart.
But she won't come dancing tonight,
She's having the time of her life.

I was thirteen when I first met him. Only two and a half years older but at that age that sort of gap could get a bloke in trouble. It wasn't the scar that drew me to him. If I was honest, I hated that scar, hated what it represented. I'd look around all the people fawning over him and wonder if they were really that stupid. To him, that scar didn't represent his greatness or his fame. It proved his survival, a constant reminder that while he'd lived, his parents hadn't. That scar tells people he's an orphan and that he's alone. That scar is why he will stay alone for a long time. Because of that scar, he'll never trust anyone's intentions enough to let them close.

It's why he wasn't as close to Ron Weasley as people believed. Harry could see the jealousy in the redhead's eyes and a part of him resented it. He also wasn't really that close to Hermione Granger. She mothered him too much and while he appreciated the sentiment, he resented the actions. They were stifling to a boy who only knew how to be alone. On top of that, he hated Ginny Weasley. Not that he'd ever admit it and I don't think anyone but me realised. He just couldn't understand how she liked him so much. Her crush had started before she'd really met him. Her feelings weren't for Harry. They were for the Boy-Who-Lived and as far as Harry was concerned that was just a title, not the definition of who he was. And he hated that little Ginny couldn't see beyond it, the same way Ron couldn't.

I watched him a lot over the years. Always from a distance though, never getting too close. I wanted to. Of course, I wanted to. I was already in love with him but the kind of relationship I wanted with him had to wait until he was older. I always had his back though and I tried my best to make sure he knew that. I kept an extra close eye on him during my fifth year when Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban. I made sure he knew I believed he hadn't entered himself during the Tri-Wizard fiasco and again when he told everyone of Voldemort's return. I was there as a member of the DA and I was the first person to hex Malfoy on the train home that year.

That year. My last year. Even though I wasn't sitting with him, part of me wanted the train to take longer to reach London. Just so I could have had a little bit more time knowing he was close by. But it never happened. The train reached King's Cross at the same time it did every year and I had to get off it for the last time. It was just as I was about to pass through the gateway into the muggle world when Harry's closest friend actually approached me.

"I'll watch him." She said in that faraway voice of hers. "Just like you did. And I'll make sure he knows that he has support. Just like you did. And I'll love him." Luna's eyes came the most focused I'd ever seen them here and the smirk that stole over her face could only be described as Harry-esque. "But I won't do that quite like you did. Harry's a brother to me after all."

She walked off before I had gathered my wits enough to say anything back. The tinkling laughter that was ringing in my ears was the only reason I was sure I'd actually heard that.

I spent the next year working with Fred and George in the new shop. I loved the work and spending time with my closest friends but that was just an added bonus. The main reason I was there was so any news the twins heard about Harry, I'd hear too.

However the best news I got came from neither of the Weasley twins nor anyone in their family. It was only the second time I'd had any sort of communication with Luna Lovegood but she was a Guardian Angel if ever there was one. The letter came over the Christmas holidays and I was amazed at how much I was missing Harry, our friendship wasn't particularly close at that point and there I was missing him like I'd miss a limb if I ever lost one.

He misses you, too. The letter had said. He is realising just how much you were there for him, even if it was silently.

I think the smile I was wearing that day was the brightest one I'd ever worn before. Both Fred and George commented on it.

I kept that short note. It was probably the only thing that got me through the year that came next. That and seeing Harry at Bill's wedding. We only spent about ten minutes in each others company but I managed to get him onto the dance floor in spite of his hatred for dancing. He was actually pretty good when he wasn't leading and I managed to distract him enough so that he wasn't completely focused on what his feet were doing.

We talked while we moved. About our families, I'd never considered joining the Dark Sect before but when he told me about what those muggles had dared do to him I seriously considered the idea. We talked about what we'd been doing for the last year and what we wanted to do when the war was over.

I even admitted to wanting my own branch of WWW. I'd helped invent almost every product on the shelves and had been plotting with the twins since out first year at Hogwarts. The store really was just as much mine as theirs. They might have been the face of the budding empire but I was just as involved as they were.

He even told me about Ginny Weasley's attempt at getting him into a relationship. I would have been jealous if I'd thought for a single moment that she might have succeeded but I knew Harry better than that. He wanted someone who could see him for who he really was, who'd always seen him as just Harry. He wanted someone like me and if Luna was to be believed, he was starting to realise that he wanted someone like me.

As soon as I heard the words 'the ministry has fallen' I knew it would be a long time before I saw Harry again. Longer than the school year I'd already waited and ten times more torturous.

I was right.

I had no word of what Harry was doing and no way to know he was safe. But that didn't mean I did nothing. I had to let him know he was still supported, no matter what the new ministry were saying. 'Potterwatch' was an instant success with the help of Fred, Remus and Kingsley. People were given hope again and I could only pray that Harry heard it and knew we were still there. Waiting for when he needed us.

I caught glimpses of him during the Final Battle but, as much as I'd wanted to, I couldn't stop to talk to him properly or even watch him for a minute. I was too busy fighting for my life and my freedom.

It damn near killed me when I saw the Dark Lord with Harry's body. It felt my entire world had shattered and I had nothing else to live for. But then he stood up and I felt like a Phoenix reborn. The battle had ended quickly after that but I didn't get another chance to see him. I honestly didn't really mind. Too much was going on and too many people were grieving. Luckily no one I was truly close to had been lost. All the Weasley's had managed to survive and I was grateful for that small mercy. I was sad to hear that Remus had died, especially after spending the last year getting to know him but my main concern was for the green eyed boy who'd just lost his last link to his parents.

It was another few months before I saw Harry again but the time had flown by. We'd all been busy putting our lives back together. He looked better then ever. Even during his Hogwarts years he'd never seemed as healthy as he should have been but now it was like he'd undergone a makeover without changing anything. It was just his overall demeanour. It was like a giant weight had been lifted of his shoulders and he was free. That was probably how he felt too. He'd never looked more beautiful.

No wonder Ginny had renewed her attempts at getting him into a relationship. At least that's what the twins had told me she was doing. For a male, he was still a little on the short side at 5"7 but it complimented my 6"1 rather well. His hair was glossy and thick, just hanging into his eyes ever so slightly. I knew he wore it like that so he could hide his scar. He'd finally put on a decent amount of weight, no longer looking quite as waif-like. It seemed as well as his newfound freedom, he'd also come into his own as a person comfortable in their own skin.

I'd been setting up the Hogsmeade shop when he walked in, the twins sorting out the one in Diagon Ally. The shop wasn't open for business yet, we'd only just bought the premises when the war had truly kicked off so the whole thing had been put on hold.

"Hello." He said with a soft smile, leaning against the counter next to where I was stocking shelves.

"Hey Harry. Are you looking for the twins?" I asked, returning his smile.

"Actually." He answered, his eyes sparkling like they hadn't since this end of my fifth year, his third. "I was looking for you."

"Me?" I repeated, genuinely surprised. He just nodded, his smile widening slightly. "What can I do for you, Harry?"

"You can go on a date with me." He stated bluntly. Not a hint of nervousness in his voice or body language.

As much as I wish I could say I'd been expecting this, I hadn't been. I was completely blindsided. I hadn't been truly sure what would happen after the war ended but I'd hoped we'd meet up at a few Weasley functions and then, after he'd had the chance to get to know me as well as I knew him, I'd ask him out, all the while praying he'd say yes. But here he was asking me. I was stunned.

"I'd love to." I told him, once I'd caught my bearings, which took an embarrassingly long moment.

"Good." He said matter-of-factly. "Because I always wanted to do this right when the time came and it just wouldn't be proper to kiss you when I wasn't dating you."

He didn't even give me a chance to even try and understand what he'd just said before he pushed off the counter and leant up, moulding his lips over mine. The first tentative touch of his tongue kick started my brain and I immediately put my arms around his waist to pull him closer while his hands wrapped around the back of my neck, holding me in place and fingering my dreadlocks. His body melted against mine and I could feel every hard line of his body through his clothes as he pressed against me. The kiss was slow and warm but still full of passion and a promise of things to come. I'd never felt more alive.

Eventually we pulled back, pressing our foreheads together and breathing heavily. A part of me was sure this wasn't real, that I was dreaming but it felt too good to be a figment of my imagination. As much as I'd imagined scenes like this happening before, it had never felt as true as this. And Harry certainly hadn't been the one doing the asking.

"You seemed awful sure of yourself when you walked in here." I murmured quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment but needing to know. "Why were you so certain I'd say yes?"

Harry chuckled softly before brushing his lips over mine in a chaste kiss. "I got some much needed advice."

"What advice was that?" I couldn't help but ask.

"A very good friend of mine told me 'the Dark Watcher has always been there, watching the Lone Wolf. Now it's time for the Lone Wolf to see the Dark Watcher'."

"The Dark Watcher?" I laughed. "If that had come from anyone but Luna I think I'd be offended."

"How did you know it was Luna?"

I didn't even try to fight my smirk as I answered. "Who else is twice an omniscient as Dumbledore and three times as cryptic as Trelawney?"

The laugh that invoked in Harry was like music to my ears. This was the moment I'd been building towards since I first saw him when I was thirteen. The moment I'd been waiting for.

"I love you, Harry Potter." I whispered, taking him completely by surprise and causing his laugh to freeze in his throat. It was only a second later however, that the largest and most beautiful smile I'd ever seen broke out across his face.

"I love you too, Lee Jordan."

Am I alone?
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I do love, she does heartbreak.
I did love, till she broke my heart.

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
I skip a heartbeat for you.

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I skip a heartbeat for you

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