A/N: SO, SO ,SO VERY SORRY for the long wait. Here is the next chapter from Spock's POV.

Disclaimer in ch. 1

Father retired for the evening leaving me to ponder what I must do. After a moment I decided to walk to the observatory, at least there I might actually have (as my mother and Nyota would say in a moment like this) a clear mind and be able to think. When I entered the observatory I saw someone there already. The person whoever it was did not turn, whoever it was was clearly deep in thought. I turned and left to give the mystery person his/her moment of peace and tranquility for I long for the same and know what is like not have a moment's peace.

I decided to go to my rooms. I passed Nyota's rooms and even though she must have sound proofed it I could her screams. Is this what my decision to leave has done to her? What have I done to her?

I stayed at her door until her screams ceased. Agony that is what was in her screams, agony.

I raised my arm to ask for permission to enter but hesitated. Would she allow entering? Would she even open the door if I told her it was I at the other side?

Most likely not.

Leaving my spot in front of her door has put an uncomfortable and unbearable weight on my heart. What is this sensation? I walked into my quarters and spent most of the night in the shower (real water shower). At 0330 hours I lay down on my bed but did not rest. The many things I had to think about were running around my head. Should I leave or should I stay? Will I still be "under my father's wing" (my mother's words) if I stay or will he abandon me and treat me with indifference just like he did when I was a child? So many questions with need of an answer with no time to answer them in.

"The time is 0600," my alarm rang. I had not rested as I had anticipated.

I went on with my morning routine and went to the mess hall for breakfast. As I grabbed my tray I found Jim walk towards me with his own tray.

"Good morning Spock," he said in greeting.

I nodded back and we went to sit at what was named the bridge crew table. We spent some time talking before the doors to the mess opened to reveal a very, what humans call depressed, Nyota.

I watched her closely expecting her to sit with us but instead chose an isolated seat away from the crew of the bridge. Is it because I am here or because she has the need to be alone? I do not know but I intend to figure it out.

"Spock why don't you take the rest of the trip back to earth for your self I know you must have things to plan and put final touches on so take the time we have left of the trip to do it. God knows that you need it now, trust me if you start doing it while on earth you won't have time to finish it all. Take it from me I know." Jim said seriously. He is right. I nodded in both agreement and thanks.

We went to the bridge to get things in order and went on our way. As we were going to our designated decks the doors opened to Nyota.

"Uhura what in the hell are doing going back to the bridge if you know that you have five to six days' rest? You should sleeping or resting or whatever it is that girls do to relax." Jim said kindly. She seemed surprised at this.

She thought about what Jim had said to her and it dawned on her that he was right.

"Ok, I'll try and relax. I just feel so bored and its just the first day. I'll just go to the holo deck and just be part of a play or just read a book in one of those habitat holos." She said. Her enthusiasm was forced I noted.

Jim smiled but looked as if he knew something was wrong and if he did he didn't ask or push for information, as he normally would do when Nyota was in the vicinity. When the following deck came Jim left.

"Deck six," I called. Now what do I do?

I pressed the stop button and wound my arms around her waist and pulled her towards me with little effort. My lips found hers in a hungry kiss. Her arms wound themselves around my neck pulling me tighter to her.

"I have been looking for you?" I asked more than "stated.

"You have?" She asked. But her playfulness was forced. And the strain in her voice is more than evident.

"Yes. You have been avoiding me, why?" I asked. I wanted to know why she was acting the way she was. Was it because she already knows I'm to leave as soon as we reach earth?

"I haven't been avoiding you. I was giving you space. I know you need it," she said. It was the truth but her eyes held more than she was letting on.

"I saw you at breakfast today and you looked…odd. Like you have not slept, what is wrong Nyota?" I asked concerned for her well-being. She laid her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. I have pushed her away with my leaving and the time of if coming closer the pain that I have wrongfully placed her is trying to escape the harder she tries to hide it. I see that now. I felt her tears through my shirt and I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tight to me.

"Nyota, what is wrong? Tell me, please." I begged.

She hesitated as if leaving now would break something.

"Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong?" she asked her voice strangely emotionless.

"Do not lie to me Nyota, please. Tell me what you need, tell me what is wrong," again I pleaded.

I pulled her face up to see her, what I saw in her eyes finished breaking what was left of my control. I was leaving her like…like…in I should say, this broken. At this moment I do not know what came over me. It was as if the connection between my body and brain had been severed.

"Nyota there is something I must tell you that is of great importance," I said almost robotically.

"What is it?" She asked almost expectantly and waiting for the answer she already seemed to know.

"Please, let us go to a more private room," I said restarting the lift. The lift stopped on the deck the observatory was on. I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the observatory. As we entered I turned and the look she had on her face broke me more than I ever thought I was.

When she looked up she drew a deep breath and asked;

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" her voice was as emotionless as it was in the lift.

"I wanted to tell you that as soon as we reach Earth I will have to resign my commission in order to help rebuild my race…" I started to say, but as soon as I said it her eyes widened, I could hear her heart rate increase its pace and her breathing rate increased had she known I was going to tell her?

"Nyota, I…" I started again but she turned away not wanting to hear anymore of this. All of the sudden her comm went off.

"I'm sorry I have to…I have to leave." She said not being able to say anything else.

"Nyota, please do not leave. Please," I begged knowing that this was the answer to one of my questions.

"I…I can't I have to leave." She said her voice filled tears. As she began to walk away I caught her hand in mine and stopped her from moving forward. I have done this to her.

"Nyota I have to do this it is the logical for me to help any way I can to rebuild my race." I said again the connection between my body and brain seemed severed.

"I know. I…I understand. You have to do this, resigning, relocating, mate. I understand." She said. Her body began to shake slightly from the sobs she was trying very hard to hold. I pulled her towards me but stopped and loosened my grip. I turned away from the doorway to the moving stars

"Oh, sorry sir I wasn't looking." I heard her said as she moved away from the room.

"Speak your mind my son," my father asked as he entered the observatory.

"I have hurt her," I said giving up on maintaining my control.

"By the tears on her face I could have thought as much. I have been keeping a close eye on her since you came back. The love she has for you is evident my son. She is much like your mother loving, caring, free spirited, but also hard when she needed to be. But your mother had shorter tempered than your Nyota does. She like your mother is knowledgeable about most of the known cuadrant and the languages it posses. We have been what humans will consider 'lucky' to find women like them (Amanda and Nyota) in our lives even when the fact of their shorter lives is one of the odds held against us. It took me a considerable amount of time to realize that your mother was indeed a very special person, and that she gave me the best gift any father could ever have she gave me you. I know I was not the best father to you Spock and what your mother taught you was the right thing. At the time I had believed that your human blood was a weakness to your Vulcan line I was terribly mistaking, it did the complete opposite…it strengthened it. And it was also a mistake in my part to ignore and treat you as I did, I had taught you to choose for yourself and yet I was the one to make the decision of choosing your bond mate. Would you be able to forgive me for the wrong I have done to your through out your life?" he said.

I stood there in awe of what m father had said. But now there was an even bigger question that needed an answer...Could I forgive my father and make amends?

A/N: AGAIN I apologize for my tardiness.

PLEASE REVIEW! Small poll who's POV should go next?