A/N: Okay so, this is a sequel to Shattered Heart, however, it isn't necessary to have read that to understand this. Some important things to note however, Puck is dead, Faberry got together in high school and dated all throughout. Also, the title of this fic comes from a line in the song I Don't Believe in the Sun by The Magnetic Fields. And a big thank you to Passionately Simple, who is pretty much amazing. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Rachel was exhausted as she stood by the stage door. Signing autographs and posing for pictures was the last thing she wanted to be doing, but she knew her fans were important; without them she would not have the stardom she had been dreaming of since toddlerhood.

Rachel Berry had achieved her dreams beyond even her own expectations. She dropped out of Juilliard in the middle of her junior year, after receiving a role in the six-month revival of Mama Mia on Broadway, and her career only exploded after that. A big name Hollywood director caught her show one evening and immediately offered her a lead in a remake of The Wizard of Oz, which shattered box office records and made Rachel Berry a household name.

Now she found herself back in New York, playing Eponine in the revival of Les Mis. The eight shows a week in addition to rehearsals and public appearances meant she was constantly busy, but that's how Rachel liked it. Her constant working distracted her from the choices she made to get where she was, choices she regretted. Most days she told herself that it was all worth it, most days she lied to herself.

Rachel nearly dropped the playbill she was signing when she spotted a familiar blonde and brunette amongst the sea of people screaming her name, flashing cameras in her face, and shoving memorabilia towards her. She said quick goodbyes to the crowd and instructed her security team to retrieve the duo and have a car bring them by her apartment, before climbing into the back of the car which had been waiting for her.

Rachel laid back against the cool leather interior, trying to take deep breaths in an attempt to calm her nerves. Staring out the window, she scanned the crowd, hoping to see Brittany and Santana getting into a car with her security guards. Unfortunately, her car turned the corner before she could get another glimpse of her former friends.

As the car made it's way to her apartment, Rachel couldn't help but wonder why Santana and Brittany would even bother coming to see the show. She was well aware of the fact that no one wanted anything to do with her following her breakup with Quinn. Logically, she knew there were dozens of reasons for Santana and Brittany to be in New York, but them being at her show, standing outside the stage door waiting for her to come out, could not just be a coincidence.

Her thoughts quickly travelled to Quinn and Beth, fear striking her at the possibility that something tragic happened to one or both of them and Santana and Brittany were only there to deliver the news. Rachel's stomach churned at the idea of either of them being hurt but quickly pushed the thought out of her mind. Surely, her fathers would have informed her of such an event. Perhaps Santana and Brittany's curiosity got the best of them and they had only come to get a look at the star who used to be their friend. Or maybe her long workdays and lack of sleep were affecting her more than she knew; maybe she hadn't actually seen Santana and Brittany at all. She laughed a little at the thought of her security guards rounding up two random girls and taking them to her apartment.

Rachel groaned when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her lap; she was far too nervous to carry on a coherent conversation with anyone. She rolled her eyes and ignored the call when she saw the call was from Scott, her manager. Scott was certainly not Rachel's favorite person. His demanding and controlling personality made her skin crawl, and if she weren't contractually bound to him for the next five years, she would have dumped him from her life ages ago.

Even though Rachel despised the man, she knew her career would not be where it was if not for him. On the other hand, Rachel couldn't help but think that if not for Scott, she may still have Quinn and Beth in her life. Rachel knew, however, that it was her in the end who chose to destroy her relationship with Quinn for the sake of her career, nobody else. Resting, her head against the window, she thought back to the day she always referred to as the beginning of the end.

When Rachel walked into Scott's office, she was greeted by the scent of his cheap cologne and thick Brooklyn accent. "Rachel Berry! Or should I call you Dorothy?"

"Scott, nice to see you. May I ask what this impromptu meeting is about? I am heading back home for Thanksgiving and I have a flight to catch." Rachel smiled in an attempt to be polite, as she sat down in the chair across from his desk.

"Alright, I'll get straight to it then. As you know, your movie is coming out on Christmas Day."

"Scott, you should know this by now, my organizational skills are top notch. I do not need you to summon me down to your office to remind me about an event that is a month away," Rachel sighed in annoyance.

Scott let out a small laugh, his most successful client never failed to amuse him. "This is about your career, not the release date. I'm concerned about your longevity as a star."

Rachel shifted in her chair, anxious as to what Scott had to say. "Okay, you have my attention."

"This is going to be a problem," Scott said, pushing an already open magazine across the desk.

Rachel's eyes scanned the page, smiling when she saw photos of herself, Beth, and Quinn enjoying a picnic during their last visit to New York. "Paparazzi photos of my family and I at the park, how are these a problem?"

Scott sighed and ran his hand through his greasy black hair. He knew Rachel was not going to like what he had to say. "Hollywood isn't like Broadway, Rachel. This sort of thing won't be as accepted, you're in a family movie. You have to a appeal to a certain demographic."

"This sort of thing? You mean love?" Rachel felt her voice begin to rise. "Quinn, Beth, and I are a family, the only people we will not appeal to are closed minded bigots. I am not going to stand for this, I have strong connections with the ACLU and I will not hesitate to get them involved."

"Hey, hey, don't shoot the messenger, I'm trying to help you. Do you think you can shut that mouth of yours for five minutes and listen to me?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him, but nodded, knowing Scott was only looking out for her career, and his commission check, of course.

"Good girl. I know whatever you've got going on with this girl seems like a fairytale romance, but you're just a twenty-one year old kid, Rachel. You'll breakup with her and probably have a dozen more fairytale romances before you're thirty-"

Rachel scoffed and interrupted him, "Quinn and I have been together for more than four years; we have a child together. Our relationship is not some silly little fling."

"You have a child together? You need to snap out of it and come out of this fantasy world you are living in. Your girlfriend has a kid, that's all, it's her kid, not yours. Do you really think Winnie or Quinn or whatever her name is would think twice before snatching her daughter out of her ex-lover's life? Notice the emphasis on her daughter, Rachel, not yours. You are going to be sacrificing your career for a kid who is going to be taken from you regardless."

Rachel furrowed her brow because she had honestly never thought about what would happen with Beth should she and Quinn breakup. "Quinn and I aren't breaking up, so I don't have to worry about that."

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when it happens. Let's think of it this way then, if this Quinn loves you as much as you think she does, won't she understand how necessary it is for your career to keep your little lesbian relationship on the down low? I'm not suggesting you all split, just tone it way down."

Rachel thought for a second. Quinn had understood how necessary it was for her to be in New York full-time, and in Los Angeles during the filming of her movie. There was no reason Quinn wouldn't understand this as well.

"I think you may be right, Scott."

Scott smiled, "Excellent. Now I have arranged a two-issue cover story deal with People Magazine. One will come out just before the movie is released, the other will come out a few weeks later to make sure you are kept relevant. I am going to make sure you are asked about these pictures and I don't care if you say she is a friend, sister, cousin, whatever, just make it clear you are not in a relationship with her, got it?"

"Ms. Berry?"

Rachel jerked her head up to see her driver, Frank, holding her car door open. "Oh, I'm sorry, Frank I was just thinking," she said, slightly startled.

"It's quite alright, Ms. Berry. Shall I escort you up to your apartment?"

Rachel, who was longing for more alone time before Santana and Brittany arrived, slowly shook her head no. "I think I can manage tonight, thank you."

Immediately after getting out of the car, Rachel was met by her assistant, Jill. "Ms. Berry, Scott sent me your publicity schedule for the next month, we could review it tonight, I know you like to be well prepared."

"Not tonight, can you just e-mail it to me?" Rachel asked as they entered her building.

Jill nodded, running ahead to push the elevator button. "Are your feet bothering you? Or is it your back? I can have the masseuse come over tonight."

"No Jill, that isn't necessary." Rachel was quickly growing annoyed by Jill's over-eagerness. "I'd prefer to be left alone tonight."

Jill nodded once again as they stepped into the elevator; she stared at her boss for a while, internally debating whether or not she should comment on the star's tenser than usual demeanor. "Are you okay, Ms. Berry?"

"I'm fine. I'm expecting some company tonight, that's all." Rachel said as the elevator doors opened to her floor. "It's not necessary for you to come in, they should be here shortly. Thank you, Jill." Rachel smiled politely and gave Jill a small wave before stepping off the elevator.

Once inside her apartment, Rachel paced anxiously while she waited, wondering if her security team would be able to find the girls from her past: the first people she had seen from that time in her life in nearly five years, besides her dads of course. She quickly ran over and opened the door when she heard a light tapping.

"Brittany, Santana," she whispered, unsure of how she would be received.

Brittany and Santana looked the same; only Santana's hair was a little shorter only Brittany's a little longer.

"Berry, I can't say I appreciate you having your minions practically force us into a car and drive us across the city," Santana snarled, taking in Rachel's lavish apartment. "Nice place."

"Thank you," Rachel responded quietly, not sure what to say. She was slightly surprised Santana had yet to tear into her for doing what she did, but then she had to remind herself that even though her heart ached as if it happened yesterday, nearly four and half years had passed. "I'm surprised you two came."

"B, wanted to. I'm in town with the Cheerios," Santana replied, still gawking at Rachel's not very Rachel Berry- like apartment.

Several years ago, she had come with Quinn and Beth to visit Rachel and stayed with them at Rachel's old apartment, which had been complete with gold stars, glitter, and all the obnoxious things that made Rachel, well Rachel. The walls had been covered with photographs of Rachel, Quinn, and Beth; there were even a few of her fathers and friends from Glee. But now, Rachel's walls were a painfully bright white, no pictures and barely any décor, except for some fancy expensive artwork Santana could not be bothered with.

Santana shifted her focus from the apartment to Rachel, who generally looked the same except for some not-so-subtle differences. The girl had gotten way too skinny in Santana's opinion, she would not even let her Cheerios become that thin, but she guessed that came with the busy work schedule Rachel had. She still had that obnoxious flashy smile, but Santana frowned a little bit when she noticed the smile did not quite reach Rachel's eyes as it had in the past.

"You were really good, Rachel. I didn't understand it at some parts, but I really liked it," Brittany beamed.

"Thank you, Brittany. How about we sit down? We can catch up or something."

Rachel awkwardly motioned towards her couch.

"So, Rachel how have you been?" Santana asked, making an attempt at polite conversation, considering Rachel had gone through all the trouble of having them over at her place. "No one has heard from you since, well, since you know."

Rachel nodded silently, yes of course she knew. She ignored the slew of painful memories and did her best to answer her question. "Well, I've got everything I ever dreamed of, I am fantastic," she lied.

Santana frowned. "Do you really, Rachel? Is this really all you ever saw in your dreams or are some parts missing? This may have been your dream was at one point, but I remember you telling me once that dreams change."

Rachel knew Santana was right. She sighed as she thought back to their conversation they had one afternoon during her senior year.

"Are you going to beat me up or something? It was certainly not Quinn and I who had sex in your bed during that party. Whatever Finn claims he saw, was a lie. He lies!"

Santana muttered something in Spanish before holding her hand up to get the brunette to stop when she noticed Rachel had begun her fake tears. "No, Rachel. That is not what this is about. We-"

Rachel cut her off. "You see, Santana, I am not sure if you are aware of this, but I usually wear high waisted, cotton undergarments, due to comfort reasons. However, I had purchased a black lace thong and wore it for Quinn to surprise her and your room was the only one-"

"Berry!" Santana shouted, roughly pinching the girl's arm to get her attention.

"Ouch! Santana! That was violent and uncalled for."

"I don't want to hear about your panties, ever, under any circumstances. We can discuss what you all did in my bed later, and by discuss I mean bash your face in. But for right now, I need to talk to you about something else. I heard you got into Juilliard."

Rachel smiled, extremely pleased with herself. "Yes. Is this your way of offering me congratulations?"

"Berry, I may say some nice things about you during this conversation, and if it ever leaves this room, I will strangle you with my bare hands, got it?"

Rachel swallowed hard and nodded, still thoroughly confused.

"I know you have the potential to be a star Berry and underneath all of that crazy you actually do possess a great deal of talent. I also know you and Q are really serious, when you make it big some people are not going to be very accepting of your relationship, are you prepared for that? I don't want you throwing Q and Lil B out like yesterday's garbage just because the relationship you two have may have a negative impact on your dream."

"Well, Santana, dreams change and my dreams now include Quinn and Beth, and if that affects my career than so be it. My dreams are nothing without them," Rachel said with confidence.

"You okay, Rachel?" Brittany asked after a couple minutes of silence passed.

Rachel nodded her head. "Yes, yes of course. Please do update me on the happenings of Lima. Santana did you mention earlier that you were here with the Cheerios?"

"Yeah, you are pretty behind. It's been, what, four and half years?" Santana asked, to which Rachel could only nod. "Well, yes I am here with my Cheerios. I took over Sue's position. We took nationals this week, of course. Lets see, Finn is the football coach at McKinley, Will still works there, still directing Glee. He is married to Emma and they have a kid." Santana was beginning to grow bored talking about people she saw nearly every day of her life. "B, why don't you tell Berry what you've been up to and go ahead and tell her about everyone else too."

Brittany nodded, and grinned. "Coach Sylvester and I run a cheerleading camp for children with special needs."

Rachel raised her eyebrows in disbelief, glancing at Santana for confirmation. "We are talking about the same Coach Sylvester, correct? Crazy Coach Sylvester is actually helping people?"

Santana frowned a little and nodded. "After her sister passed away, she wanted to do something to give back. Let's see who else, Artie and Tina recently got married. She is starting her own makeup line and Artie is a biology teacher. They live just outside of Cleveland."

Rachel nodded. "I know. I got the invitation. I just did not think it would be appropriate for me to show up. That was their special day and I didn't want to ruin it with our past."

Santana nodded in understanding. "I'm glad you didn't come," she said bluntly, causing Rachel's face to fall. "I just think it would be too difficult for the kid, and for Q. Plus you were right, it was Artie and Tina's big day." Santana quickly moved on. "I haven't heard much from Matt or Mike but I believe they are touring with a break dancing team. Kurt co-owns a boutique, Kurtsie Q, and they are about to start their own clothing line. Oh and Mercedes is studying under her father to take over his dentist office."

Rachel nodded; none of that information was very surprising. "You forgot someone."

Santana nodded. "I know. I wasn't sure if you wanted to know."

"Just tell me that they're doing okay."

Santana noticed Rachel was batting away tears. She hated it when people cried, even if the person was Rachel Berry. "They're doing great. Quinn just bought a house and she owns Kurtsie Q with Kurt. She manages the business aspect; he handles the fashion."

Rachel smiled a little, that made sense. After all, Quinn majored in business management at Ohio State and Kurt had majored in fashion design.

"And Beth?" Rachel was no longer able bat away her tears as she spoke of the little girl who, despite the lacking biological connection, was her daughter.

"She's quite a handful. Very precocious, she's always getting into something and she definitely keeps Quinn on her toes. She's a lot like, Q," Santana paused for a moment, "and you. She reminds me of you quite a bit, which can be pretty unfortunate at times."

"She loves watching you in the Wizard of Oz and brags to all the kids at school about how you used to be her Mama," Brittany added.

Rachel's eyes shot up from where they had fallen to glance at her shoes. "She remembers me?"

"Of course she does, you were her mom, Rachel. It's not like she was a baby when all that shit went down. She was nearly five years old; all of it was very hard on her. She cried for you for months because she didn't understand why you stopped calling and why she and Quinn couldn't visit you anymore. She thought she had done something wrong," Santana paused as she noticed the tears wetting Rachel's cheeks. "But she's fine now; kids are pretty resilient and Q's a really great mom. She definitely put aside her own heartbreak to help Beth through hers, after you did what you did."

Rachel heard the familiar bitterness in Santana's voice, and she understood why it was there. She had made terrible decisions, and in turn broke Quinn and Beth's hearts, something she promised herself she would never do.

"Her birthday is this weekend," Rachel said quietly, she had sent Beth a card and gift the first couple of years following the breakup, but after graduating from OSU, Quinn moved back to Lima, leaving no forwarding address.

Brittany let out a small laugh, trying to break the tension in the room. "Nine years old, hard to believe, huh?"

"I miss her everyday. Every single day I miss that little girl." Rachel cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. She would not allow herself to break down, especially not in front of Santana and Brittany.

"Are you sure it's only Beth you are missing?" Santana interjected.

Rachel looked away. "It's been four and a half years, people move on from their high school and college relationships. We were just delusional kids, expecting love like that to last forever." Rachel knew she was right, people do move on, so why hadn't she? Why does she still miss Quinn as much as she did on that cold winter day four and half years ago, when she made a choice she would always regret? Rachel cleared her throat. "As I said, it was nothing more than a high school romance. We obviously did not have the maturity to make it work. We were kids, we grew up and we changed. Our relationship was not stable enough to handle it."

Santana felt a familiar urge, one she had not felt since high school: it was the urge to punch Rachel Berry in the face. Luckily for Rachel, with age Santana's impulse control had improved greatly.

"You changed, Rachel. You got the fame you always wanted and you changed. You did exactly what I was terrified you would do when you left for this place. You threw Quinn and Lil B aside, and for what, for this? For this empty apartment, devoid of any personality? For your face on a different magazine every week with headlines talking about what a bitch you are behind the scenes and what random ass dude you're sleeping with that week? God Rachel, you gave up the two best things that could ever happen to anybody and you did it willingly."

"No!" Rachel interjected. "She left me. She ended everything, not me."

"Yes, she did, because she had to do what was best for her daughter and you in Beth's life obviously wasn't what was best for her. Beth deserves a hell of a lot better, and Q knew that. You fucked up, Berry. Your image was more important to you than they were, so no, Q did not end everything; you did with your actions. She just had the balls to call you out on your shit." Santana stood up. "Lets go, B."

"I like Rachel, even though she's awful. I missed her," Brittany said not getting up off the couch.

"Brittany," Santana raised her voice and narrowed her eyes at the blonde, who recognized how serious her best friend was, "lets go."

"Bye, Rachel. I'm sorry everybody hates you."

Brittany gave Rachel a quick hug before following Santana out. Santana did not look back, or say anything more to Rachel. The sound of Beth's tears from four and half years ago echoed in her mind, and the image of Quinn looking so broken and helpless flashed through her thoughts as well. Santana had known coming there tonight would be a mistake.

Rachel watched the two leave, she knew everything Santana had said was true. She had said the same exact words to herself. She had broken the hearts of the two people she loved more than anything, all for her dream; a dream that did not seem as amazing to her now as it did when she was a teenager. She opened the end table next to her couch and pulled out a photograph; it was her favorite, taken only a few weeks prior to the breakup. Her and Quinn were on either side of Beth, placing a kiss to her cheek. Beth was smiling her crooked little smile; it was a perfect moment. A sob escaped Rachel's throat when she realized she would have had a thousand more perfect moments like that one, had she not been so selfish.