As the moon cascaded the night sky, Damon walked. Moreover, as he did so, he couldn't help but to keep touching his lips, still feel her touch.

However, each time the blissful thoughts would be banished by the same two thoughts.

Stefan. That was who she was with. That was who she loved.

If that were true, then why had she kissed him? She had only been a friend, at least that's what she'd said she wanted.

So none of it makes sense! Why did she kiss him?

Was this some kind of…sick, twisted game she was playing with them? Was she just using Damon for entertainment?

"…"

No, impossible, that was not Elena. The Elena that Damon knew was sweet, gentle, and caring.

But in that kiss,…she was anything but…

She had kissed him with such intensity, such built up passion, but, at the same time, she was too rough, too, almost-dare he say, animalistic?

That wasn't Elena.

Those two nagging thoughts never seemed to let up. He wished he could just forget it all happened, forget what her lips felt like. Though, they still lingered on his lips.

He was torn.

By no means was he, close to his baby brother. At least not for a few centuries. That ship had sailed long ago. Back in 1863...

::1863; SALVATORE GROUNDS::

"Do you think…?" Damon began suddenly; he was hesitant, almost afraid of what his answer would be. As he and Stefan sat on the bench in the garden, in silence, he couldn't help himself but to wonder. "That father even…cares about me?"

Damon's voice was far off, he sounded as if he was talking to himself, asking himself. However, he had said it aloud, and Stefan had heard him loud and clear, despite it being just over a whisper.

Stefan stared at him brother. Damon's dark curls curtained his face, but Stefan didn't need to look at him to know how sad he looked.

Stefan was always their father's favorite. He was the one that always did right, and Damon was the one that was a disappointment. He was thought to be weak, and incompetent, too emotional and disobedient.

Ever since their mother died when Damon was only ten years old, Stefan was merely five; Damon had been a little…over bearing.

He never listened, always, thinking about something besides what was thought to be important. Always daydreaming. He never obeyed their father's orders, and that was exactly what they were-clean cut commands-, always thinking of alternatives.

Although Damon didn't much like his father, he still was his father. He knew he should listen, if only to get on his father's good side, but he could never bring himself to do it.

Stefan however was the golden child, the one that never complained and always did as told.

Damon could never seem to hide his jealousy for how easy things were for Stefan. Everything was handed to him, love, respect, and appreciation. Never once, did Damon ever get those things from anyone, much less his father.

Stefan was Damon's younger brother. He should be following in his shadow, looking at him with envy and wanting someday to have everything that Damon had obtained.

However, it wasn't like that. It was the complete opposite. Damon, the old of the two boys, envied Stefan. He wished-no, prayed-that one day he could be better than him. He didn't care what at, but something.

"Damon, I know that father is hard on you…" Stefan chose his words carefully. He knew his brother enough to know what to say. He didn't want to upset him, but, Damon had asked, and Stefan wasn't going to lie to him. "But he means well. It may seem, like father does not love you…" Stefan reached out to his brother, gripping his should, that causing Damon to finally look at him. "You just have to obey him, and you'll see…its better."

Stefan nodded assuring as he gazed into his brothers now wide eyes. Stefan knew his brother was hurting from his father's cruelty. He knew it was hard for Damon; being belittled daily by their own flesh and blood. The one person you should look up to the most in the world.

Damon could only nod his thanks as he thought about what had been said to him.

He should just pretend. Fake it? All for his father's love? Something that should be given, not earned.

Though Damon was shunned by his father, he couldn't help the warmth that his brother ensued upon him. He knew that Stefan meant well, Stefan wanted to stop hearing his father's cruel words be spoken towards Damon. He could see what it did to him.

Stefan and Damon were close. They could read each other like open books, and they liked it like that.

It gave them a sense of freedom, a feeling of warmth.

They were close.

Nothing and no one was going to split them apart. Damon vowed to never let that happen…

::PRESENT DAY::

Damon could remember the time when he was so protective of his relationship with Stefan. The time they actually treated one another like brothers, instead of-like now-enemies. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss those days.

Not that he would admit to such things.

Damon would never admit how stupid he was for letting, Katherine get in between them.

He wouldn't admit the guilt he felt for the things he'd done over the years for that woman. He would not, and could not, admit to it.

Today had been…interesting to say the least. Damon wasn't very fond of the day's events, but, they were interesting, no doubt.

He'd intended on going to the festival, stealing Elena away with his charm, thank little witch-well, that was more of a speer of the moment desition, but-and get everything that he ever wanted. All in one night.

Instead…

He fought with Stefan, talked to Elena-making herself perfectly clear that she just wanted to be friends, so her thought-, threatened Elena's punk of a brother for talking to Elena the way he had, thanked bonnie, had a way over the top multi head ache/hangover feeling in his head only magnified my about 20. He'd gotten stuck with a vervain needle, thrown in the basement to which he witnessed Anna be murdered. Once the place was lit up he was sure it was going to be the end, until Stefan played hero and saved him, though that hero statues could be bestoad upon a certain little witch. He'd told Jeremy about Anna, offering him a way to forget the pain, to which he refused. And lastly, and honestly the highlight of the night-making it all almost seem worth it-he'd kissed Elena.

Even though that was how it had all happened he still couldn't shake the feel of uneasiness that had settled in after that kiss.

Something wasn't right here…

Damon had been walking blindly through the night. The only light showing from the full moon above his head. His mind was so chaotic that he hadn't realized where he was until he heard her voice.

"Damon?" Bonnie stood outside her door. She'd been in the house, alone, thinking about the night she had just endured.

She was beyond confused of her actions today. Since when was she sympathetic towards vampires? They were all the same, all out for one thing and one thing only, blood.

The only vampire Bonnie had come across, albeit she didn't come across them often, that had ever proved her wrong was Stefan. And even he had her on her toes, ready to pounce. She didn't trust them, any of them. They all were heartless…right?

She wasn't sure anymore. She tried, seriously she tried her damnedest to hate them, all of them. Although she had succeeded in hating most, there were two that she couldn't bring herself to loath like the others. Stefan and Damon Salvatore.

She didn't know when or how it had happened, but over the last few weeks she felt herself grow less and less hateful towards the brothers. Though she still disliked them, and honestly wanted to do away with them, she couldn't.

Bonnie wasn't completely sure if that was of her choosing, or if it was all for Elena. Elena and Bonnie had been friends since their lives began, they were close, so close that they were sisters in each other's eyes. They were bound by friendship and love and would do anything for each other.

At least bonnie would.

Damon's deep blue eyes sparkled, despite it being so dark his eyes still stood out. He looked at the little witch, completely confused and a little worried as to how he'd gotten here. He hadn't even been thinking about Bonnie.

"Bonnie." he acknowledged her with a small nod before furrowing his eyebrows and giving her an incredulous look. He wasn't really in the mind set to play witchy games tonight, so, he was being polite.

Something Damon never was. Even though he'd switched on his humanity he still acted like an ass most of the time. Yes, he's even noticed.

"What are you doing here Damon?" her voice thick with annoyance as she ever so slightly rolled her eyes at his presence. Just because she'd saved his life, and had a small soft spot-though she wished she could believe it all was for Elena's sake-she still didn't like the guy.

Let's not forget that he almost killed her, killed her grandmother for that bitch Katherine, and was behind a lot of the so called 'animal attacks' in and around Mystic Falls. It wasn't something you could just get over.

Damon couldn't say he was surprised, nor could he blame her for disliking him and only being annoyed when he was present. If he was the old Damon he'd make a snooty comment-one that would hurt her or just simply unnerve her-but, he wasn't the old Damon anymore.

He knew that. He was different, even if she didn't want to acknowledge that, he had changed.

It wasn't the biggest change in the world, but it was enough that you could tell he was a better person. If that is what you could call him, he was still a vampire after all.

"I'm…" he stared, looking hesitant to even admit this, but shrugged it off as he sheepishly looked away from her towards the direction he was headed. "I don't know." his voice was baffled, showing on his otherwise stoic face. his voice was quiet, something Damon never was.

That caught Bonnie's attention. What could have Damon so…un-Damon like? Albeit he had a pretty rough day, even from her stand point, but she was still surprised at seeing Damon like this.

"What's wrong?" she shocked herself as she felt a pang of concern for this vampire. Something was seriously wrong with her. Maybe it was all this magic messing with her brain.

Damon looked at the witch, scrutinizing her. Was that concern he'd heard, or was he still out of it and just imagined? He studied her for a moment, trying to figure out if she was serious or not, or if she was just playing around.

His head was tilted as he stared at her incredulously. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she truly was. Something that ran in the Bennett family no doubt. He smiled inwardly at that thought, until Elena and himself outside her house only less then an hour ago, brought him back to reality.

That was who he wanted, Elena.

She was Katherine, physically, but she was her complete opposite. She was compassionate, feeling, trusting, elegant, and kind. Everything Katherine could never be. Maybe that was what was so appealing.

Being Kathrine in every sense, except the part that he'd fallen in love with, and gotten burned by. She'd used him, lied, forgotten, played him. She never wanted him, never loved him. But, he still loved her. Deep down he knew he still did.

145 years of searching, waiting, and hoping to bring back the only person he was sure that had ever truly loved him. Although he was painfully wrong, he still loved her, or the memory of her.

She was still beautiful in his eyes, but a monster too. Elena was just…beautiful.

Damon had been looking at the ground, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched and unclenched as he thought between the two loves of his life. They were exactly the same, but complete opposites.

He would be lying if he said he never thought, or even wished, it was Katherine every time he was around Elena. He couldn't deny pretending sometimes, daydreaming.

He was sick and twisted, he knew that, but he just couldn't help it. He couldn't control it. Whenever Elena was thought of, he'd also find himself thinking about Katherine.

She was his first love after all, the one person he was sure he would love for all of eternity.

Bonnie had watched Damon having a debate inside his head. On some level she wished she could get inside there and find out who he was. But quickly banished the idea. It was ridiculous to think that there could be anything that she'd want to know about him.

He was plan and simply a vampire, a monster on some level, who was selfish and only looked out for himself.

Though, Bonnie didn't quite believe that herself. She'd witnessed some of Damon's changes. even when she had hated him for what happened to her grandmother she still could see he was changing. Maybe it was for Elena, or maybe for Stefan, but, Bonnie could see he wasn't the same.

"You can tell me, you know?" Bonnie's voice was soft, reassuring and albeit concerned. Her perfectly sculpted eyebrows creased as she stared at the vampire. She was sure her eyes held just as much softness. She angled her head, watching him.

Damon was taken aback by the little witch's tone, even more so her face. She looked like she was really intent on hearing whatever was on his mind. He couldn't help the humerous chuckle that escaped.

How had they gotten here? How had someone who had every right to hate him, despize him or better yet to kill him, start caring about him? First Elena…now Bonnie?

He wasn't sure if it was just a flouk or if she was actually starting to care, wither way it made him diffident towards her. He wasn't sure why, but the thought of Bonnie of all people caring about him made some unknown feeling come upon him.

It was so strange, so unheard of that someone that had gone through all that Bonnie had would find it in her heard to care for the person who caused all of her pain and suffering in the first place.

Bonnie had heard the chuckle and for some reason it enraged her. He was laughing at her compassion towards him. Laughing because he knew she was stupid for ever feeling that way towards him. And all though she knew that, she still couldn't help wanting to fix whatever had him down.

She wasn't sure when it all changed. when she started to care. It scared her actually, caring for him. It wouldn't have been so terrifying had it been anyone but Damon. She could very well root all of her problems back to the once dispassionate vampire.

It would make hating him a lot easier. But, Bonnie had somehow seen her way past all of that, moved forward somehow. Just this morning she was empty, closed off, but now she felt again.

She wasn't exactly sure when, but she had a feeling it was all because of Damon. He'd come up to her at the parade. She was sure he was just there to demoralize her some more, but instead had amazed her by thanking her.

It was then that she saw the change in Damon Salvatore. He'd thanked her, even though she hadn't deserved it. She'd lied, and cost so many lives. But, in her heart she knew it was for the best. Had the tomb vampires attacked the town, exposing vampires, killing off people, then Bonnie would never forgive herself for letting it happen.

Either way people died.

But, he'd thanked her. Trusted her. Even if she didn't like Damon she couldn't help but feel guilty for betraying that trust.

Bonnie didn't owe Damon anything! He'd been the reason for everyone's problems in Mystic Falls. He'd been the one to bring chaos on this small town.

Despite that, Bonnie felt guilty. She felt like she had done something wrong for having him entrust his life to her. Believing every word she'd said. She was sorry for it, never going to admit it, but she was sorry. She should have warned someone, at least Elena.

They would have them taken far enough away to not be found out and killed. She could only imagine the devastation that would bring upon Elena. So, she watched out for them. She made sure to keep them safe. Even if it was a close call, she'd saved them. Stefan and Damon.

Had Bonnie been in the same state of mind as this morning, she could have very well just stop the fire, wait for Stefan to follow down, and trap him inside. But, she couldn't.

For the first time, she'd found herself wanting to save them, both of them, and not only for Elena. Something told her it was deeper than that. All though Bonnie was afraid to find out what it was she was feeling, she knew she had to.

But, once Stefan had come out with Damon and she'd walked off without a word, she couldn't stop herself from worrying if they were okay. She wanted to make sure of it, but, she could just walk back there without blowing her cover.

They still thought that she hated them. All of them, and had only done it for Elena. Truth was, though a lot of it was for Elena, some of it was for herself. She knew if she'd just let them die down there then she wouldn't forgive herself, nor would Elena forgive her.

Bonnie would have become a monster.

A murderer.

That was what she was thinking when she'd stood outside the building with Elena, holing her back while she chanted her incantation. She didn't want to become that person. That wasn't who she was. Not even in her darkest depths would Bonnie want to have that guilt hanging over her. She didn't want to be responsible for killing people that had somehow weasled their ways into her heart.

So she chanted, let them free, and walked away without a word. She didn't want to face up to the feelings she felt then. She just couldn't.

Because she now knew what it was she was running away from…

Closure.

Now as she stood in front of the vampire whom she had just saved a little under and hour ago, she couldn't help but feel those feelings begin to bubble up.

When she looked at him, his chiseled features, his standoffish demeanor, she couldn't help but smile inside. Bonnie felt a sense of relief that he was still here. That she had saved him.

A feeling of importance radiated off of him that she wasn't quite sure what it could mean, but she knew she had done the right thing by keeping him alive. Like, he was not only important towards the town, not only towards Elena or Stefan, but also herself.

"What?" she asked at his chuckle he'd let escape.

He shrugged as he shook his head, almost in disapproval. He didn't want this. He couldn't let it happen. Bonnie was too good for him. Too good for him to be deserving of her compassion and care.

He was a monster, he knew that, and he knew that she knew this too. Elena had already given him enough chances, and although he knew he was undeserving, he held onto his hold on her trust. He felt like he would be worthless without it.

He couldn't just let Elena hate him, because he needed someone. Elena was too good for him, he knew this, though he wished it weren't true, it was. She was too good to even contemplate caring for him. But he needed it. He couldn't push it away.

Damon already knew he was being selfish staying here, close to Elena, getting in the way of Stefan and her happiness. He was already too deep to just walk away. Elena already cared for him, even if he didn't deserve or understand it.

She had condemned herself of living a life with his presence. She'd already chosen to keep him around, and he wasn't going to leave no matter what.

She had already bounded herself to him.

But Bonnie, she was In the clear. She could walk away. She could live a life without him being a nuisance. He knew one day that's what he would become to Elena, but, she'd already chosen. So he stayed.

For some reason he didn't want that for Bonnie. He didn't want to cause her pain. He'd done enough of that. He'd taken the one thing that meant the most to her, and at the time he didn't even care. All he'd cared about, was Katherine and anyone that got in the way be damned!

It made him sick. His humanity had taken over enough to where the memories of what he had done to all those around him sickened him. It made him want to disappear and hide away from all of the pain he'd caused these people. He didn't want to feel, but it was inevitable now.

He would not let Bonnie care for him. He wouldn't let her hurt any longer. Not because of him.

But, something in his heart just wouldn't let him just walk away. He felt like he had to protect her, because she'd saved him. She'd saved Elena and Stefan, the two people who ever gave a rat's ass about him, and also the people he'd hurt the worst.

He wanted to keep her from the suffering she was sure to endure if she cared for the likes of him. If she opened her heart up to him, he would only crush it. He WOULD NOT hurt her.

"why?" His voice was so quiet at first. "why do you care about me?" his voice had an underlying demand. He wanted the truth. He wanted to know what it was that people found redeemable in him.

He needed to know. He needed an answer to why she cares. How she could care for something like him.

Bonnie's big green eyes widened at his question. How did he…? Was she that obvious? She felt stupid for letting it show. Her mouth was gaped as she looked at him in a daze. Why?

That was what she'd been asking herself. Why? What did she see in him that was so special? Was it only because he was Stefan's brother/Elena's friend? Or was is something deeper? She took a deep breath, all the while debatable green eyes stared into reserved blue eyes.

After a few moment's she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. She looked defeated and sounded as though as she answered honestly, "I don't know." Bonnie scanned his blue eyes for a second before sheepishly looking to the far right and turned to go back inside.

Before she could assend the last stair of the porch, there stood a tall, dark haired man with crystal blue eyes. She stopped, sucking in a breath of surprise and slight fright as she looked into his hypnotizing eyes.

There was a hint of passion behind those eyes that now held sadness and a sliver of hope. Bonnie was captivated by it. He watched her eyes as he moved his face closer to the dark skinned beauty.

Bonnie had moved back a little as she saw him decend closer. She had barely moved back, though her moving at all didn't go unnoticed by the vampire. "don't" he said, confusing her. He was demanding but she could hear the plea in his soft voice as he came even closer. She could almost feel his breath on her lips. "don't care. Hate me."

Damon watched closely as her eyes hardened at that. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted her to invite him in and ravish her. Let her be his if only for tonight. Let him forget who he is. Let him get lost in her.

But Damon had to do this. It was the only way to keep her safe and far away from him.

"I'm the one that killed her." his eyes looked deep into hers. He wasn't compelling her, he couldn't even if he wanted to, though it would be easier for her and him, he didn't want to take away the freedom that he was now give her.

"your grams is dead, because of me!" he grabbed the witch gently by the shoulders, shaking her, trying to knock some sense into her. Surely there was something wrong with her if she could care from a monster like him. An abomination.

"because I wanted Katherine!" he almost spat the name, but, held back as best he could. His eyes were menasing. That spooked Bonnie a little. She remembered this Damon. This was the same Damon she had hated so much for so long. The one she had blamed for everything.

But, she couldn't believe it. She couldn't make herself believe every word he spewed. She knew it was a lie. A feeble attempt to make her not care. She wasn't sure how she knew this so well, maybe it was in his eyes. She saw how they glowed with furry and hate.

She knew it wasn't directed to her. Somehow she knew that. But, he was trying to fool her. Trying to push her away.

"I didn't care who was in my way. But somehow." his voice lessened on it's menacing edge.

Damon was losing his cool. He was losing this battle. The more he stood there, looking at her eyes, the same eyes that held disbelief and confidence in that disbelief, the more he just wanted to close the distance between them.

How had this happened. He knew what it was now. He knew the minute he stood here, trying to push her away. It was all futile. He couldn't leave. He wouldn't. he'd protect her, if that's all he could do, but he couldn't leave.

His eyes watched her franticly. He could feel the plea in his eyes, in the way he shook her. Desperate attempts at getting her away. Getting her to hate him, begging for her to. To make it easier. He could deal with someone hating him, even if that someone was Bonnie.

But, caring, for someone like him, was just too much. Because he too cared. He wasn't sure how or when it had happened. He wasn't even sure how deep the feelings went.

With one last shake he dropped his hands from her shoulders. Giving up, or giving in.

He couldn't look at her anymore. Bonnie's eyes softened at the lost vampire. She could see he needed help. Someone had to help him. She wasn't sure why, but she wanted to be the one to do it.

Bonnie had found her closure when he looked her in the eyes and trusted her with his life, despite everything that had happened to them.

Bonnie knew what she had to do. She knew what she had to say to help him. To give him some semblance of closure. So, with all of the confidence she could muster, all of the truth she said those three words that could save him now.

"I forgive you." she was looking at him pointed look. Showing him how true her words were.

He had looked up once she'd said that. It wasn't possible. It couldn't happen. Damon wouldn't let her forgive him for all of the terrible things he'd done. To her, to her home, her life!

His eyes were wide in disbelief and disarray. How? How could someone like Bonnie forgive someone like him? A thing that had made so many mistakes, had killed so many, all for someone who didn't care about him. Never wanted him. He did it all In the name of love, a falsehood that had he known, he would have never become like her.

He would never have turned into the monster that he now was.

This infuriated him. Without even thinking, in a daze staring into those beautiful green eyes that told so much of how sincere she was. She was too good, too worthy for someone like him.

He was gripping her shoulders tightly, not enough to hurt her, somewhere in his mind he had enough control to make sure he kept her unharmed. Like he'd said. He was never going to let anything or anyone harm her ever again.

Himself included.

He shook his head. This was so surreal, so uncanny, too much for him to take in.

He was seething, he could feel his breath rising, and had he had a beating heart it would have been raising from his boiling anger, that and because he was staring her dead in the eye.

How had it come to this? How had these feelings just happened. Before tonight he didn't care about Bonnie or this town or anyone except Elena. And now it was all backwards.

By the end of this night he had began to care for this town. He'd saved it as best he could. He'd cared about Anna, wanting to help her so badly, and failed. He'd also begun to fall for a witch. A Bennett no less.

The longer he looked at those eyes, the longer he thought about her and how much he actually cared, the less seething and repulsed he got. Seething because she had forgiven him for the most unforgivable things. And repulsed by himself for doing those unforgiving things.

As he calmed, Bonnie couldn't help herself for reaching out and touching his shoulder reassuring. She had completely forgiven him. Even if he didn't want to accept it or believe it.

She smiled genuinely and nodded softly.

He let go of her shoulders, albeit reluctantly, stood straight and tall. All the while his eyes mesmerized hers as he tried to remember that look. Those eyes. Forgivness. His saving grace.

Bonnie held his eyes firmly. She didn't want to let them go. Almost afraid that if she did he would leave and never come back. She feared the worst if she were to just let him run off.

He took a calming breath before nodding his thanks, almost invisibly before saying in a sincere gratifying tone. "thank you." he felt like a weight had lifted. Like his world had finally stopped spinning. Like his life had some kind of meaning.

He knew what that meaning was…it was Bonnie.

In all of the time he'd been around Stefan and Elena, never did they tell him so sincerely that they forgave him. Never did they hold so much feeling and meaning to their words.

He still cared for Elena. But, for some reason it didn't mean as much now.

For some reason he didn't feel the same. He didn't feel so dependent on Elena anymore. He didn't feel like he had to have her to feel something. Like he had to have her in his presence to feel alive. No, that was Bonnie now.

She'd truly forgiven him. She truly believes that he was worthy enough to be forgiven for all of his sins. For all of the pain and suffering he had bestowed upon so many innocent people. She'd given him worth.