Hey all! I'll be posting extras and outtakes from I Caught Fire here. This was an outtake written for The Fandom Gives Back: Eclipse Edition. Over several days, our fandom raised tons for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation and it was awesome.

** Thanks to the wonderful venis-envy for buying this pervtastic mess. Under my FGB terms she had exclusive access to this for 2 weeks, but insisted I post so you could all see it too - she's adorable 3. Thanks also go to SunKing and Alverdine for their guidance; and to everyone who reads, alerts, faves and reviews ICF. I hope you enjoy it! **

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

And yup, the title of the outtakes is from another song by The Used (thanks Niki!). This first one is Jasper's POV of chapter 3. Read on to see what he was really thinking that night...

In My Hands: Alternate POV outtake of chapter 3

Swiftly unlocking the entrance to my apartment, I took Bella's hand and gently pulled her inside. I watched her eyes widen as she took in my spacious, sparsely-furnished living room, and I couldn't help but smirk. I really liked the place; I knew it was kind of a bachelor pad, but that was me. It was obvious that she hadn't expected me to live in such a nice place, and she might follow her surprised expression with the inevitable question of how I could afford it on a meagre bartender's salary. I was pretty well-practised at fielding the awkward questions from girls I brought back there. Although, they'd usually spend their time squealing over all the carefully purchased, modern furniture that was dotted around the room.

Not Bella. She couldn't tear her eyes away from my vast book collection that sat on several shelves throughout the room. I almost wanted to laugh – there was so much expensive stuff around the room, and this girl was only interested in the books? But then, that wasn't surprising, as she'd told me during our whisky-fuelled conversation in the bar that she was studying English Literature at a nearby university. For some reason, I found her even more attractive for showing interest only in the books. She wasn't like the others.

I watched her mouth fall open, and unconsciously dragged a hand through my dark hair as I grinned, amused at her reaction to the place. Her gaze shifted toward me, and I locked my eyes on hers. Fuck, she looked great in that too-small tube top and jeans. Her expression looked a little vulnerable as she searched my face for a reaction. I was staring at her with barely concealed greed, and when she bit down on her lip nervously, any resistance fell away. With two swift strides, I closed the distance between us and pulled her into my arms. That one brief kiss hadn't been enough, and I had to have more. I touched my lips to hers, softly at first, then harder, and she eagerly responded, winding her arms round my neck as I slid my tongue into her mouth. She let out a tiny moan against my lips, and I winced uncomfortably, feeling like my dick was about to burst through the zipper of my pants.

My hands travelled over her back as I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth, gently biting down. I breathed out, and it came out strangled, uneven. I could continue tasting her delicious mouth forever, but I was almost too far gone not to continue. I had to check she was okay with it, I resolved, with the quiet hope that she wouldn't change her mind. Just as I thought that, she let out a hesitant sigh, and the pressure of her lips on mine slackened.

I drew back, looking down at her flushed face and lips, slightly swollen from the kisses.

"Is this okay with you, darlin'? I asked in my smoothest voice, adding that endearment out of force of habit. My heartbeat sped up just a fraction as I waited for her answer, hoping that she wouldn't say no. I knew it was a possibility, however – Bella seemed like a nice, smart girl, who probably wasn't in the habit of going home with bartenders.

"Mm, yes," she breathed, and I sighed in relief. One of my hands snaked round her front and dragged downwards, over the soft swell of her breasts and her taut stomach, right down to the button at the top of her jeans. I slipped my hand between her legs and rubbed slowly, knowing the friction would feel good for her. The next second, she roughly brought her mouth to mine, kissing me hard as her fingers twisted in my hair. The force of her reaction surprised me, but I kissed her back, shifting my hips against hers so she could feel how hard I was. Bella gripped my arms forcefully and pushed me, moving me so my back was against the wall. I let her, smiling to myself, as I hadn't expected her to be so forward.

Well, two can play at that game. It was my turn.

Gently, but with irresistible force, I turned her so she was the one with her back to the wall.

"I get to do that part," I told her, dragging my teeth over her ear, neck and collarbone as I marvelled at how soft and supple her skin was. It smelled faintly of vanilla and something else I couldn't place. My mouth continued its path over her skin, stopping at the neckline of the tube top. That was going to have to go. Knowing she had no bra on, I pulled the top to her waist with one quick, decisive tug. God, her breasts looked amazing.

"Fuck, Bella, you've got great tits," I muttered. I instantly regretted my uncouth choice of language when she blushed, but it had been my instinctive reaction. Besides, I supposed I was still giving her a compliment in my own rough way. I kept her pinned against the wall with my arms and bent my head to her right breast, taking the soft peak in my mouth. It pebbled under my tongue, and as I gently clamped my teeth together, she let out this fucking delectable whimper. I wanted to hear that again. I watched her eyes focus on the door that led to the corridor, and inwardly sighed.

No. There was no way she was going in my bedroom.

That was my one rule that I always stuck to. It was too...private, too intimate, or something. All impressions I didn't want to, and couldn't, give. In any case, I was hoping to distract her enough that she wouldn't even remember I hadn't taken her to bed. I couldn't help smirking a little at that thought. I slid my hands under her denim-clad legs and picked her up in my arms, which wasn't exactly difficult as she weighed practically nothing. As I walked her over to the sofa, I felt her small fingers travel over my bicep, and she obviously liked what she saw. I'd always been a fairly athletic guy who kept fit, and it was always nice when somebody noticed, particularly an attractive girl. It wasn't exactly a vain thing. I didn't spend hours styling my hair or anything; exercise was pretty much just the way I dealt with stress, anger or any other unwelcome emotions.

She sighed contentedly as I set her down on the comfortable sofa, but I didn't intend on her having much time for relaxing. I unfastened the button of her jeans, my breathing heavy as my fingers brushed against the soft skin of her belly. As I slid the zip down, she exhaled slowly and unevenly, her eyes questioning me. I locked my eyes on her brown irises, and was momentarily sucked in, unable to tear my gaze from her delicate face tinged with a slight blush. Her expression was so innocent, despite the well-practised confidence she'd displayed earlier that evening. Still, I was fairly sure that she wasn't a virgin. She seemed like the sort of girl who'd probably had at least one long-term boyfriend before. I really hoped she wasn't at any rate, because once I started, I really didn't know how I was going to stop.

I pulled at the waistband of the jeans, and she lifted herself up, helping me to slide the fabric down her legs. Unfortunately, the skinny pants got stuck on the pink Chucks she was wearing, and she giggled nervously. I chuckled in response, quickly untying the laces and sliding the shoes and socks off her feet, one by one. As I dropped the shoes to the floor, I saw a flash of something pass over her face. I couldn't be sure what it was, but she'd clearly been reminded of something that she wanted to forget.

Welcome to my life. I thought darkly. Of course, there was no need for her to know any of that; as far as she knew, I was just the average bartender who'd fucked countless women. I mean, I had, but that wasn't exactly me. She didn't need to know that though, I reiterated in my head. I turned back to Bella to see her clad only in these sheer, lacy red panties. A sudden warmth fired straight to my dick, and I had to fight the urge to just rip them off and press her back into the couch. Not yet. I knew she was only a one-night stand, but I wanted to make it feel good for her too. I cupped the soft swell of one of her breasts in my hand before trailing my fingers lower, resting my palm against the waistband of the red lace. I heard her breathing grow heavier, and she let out a quiet moan.

I slid my fingers down over the lace, tracing oh-so-slow circles around where she really wanted me. Even through the fabric, I could feel the heat and dampness of her. I pressed my fingers against her harder, and she cried out.

"Fuck!" Hearing that word from her lips near drove me crazy, and I definitely wanted to hear her say it again that night.

"I like these," I muttered in a low voice, continuing to tease her with my fingertips. "Although I think I might prefer them off..." my voice trailed off, as I was quickly losing the power of speech. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband and pulled the lace down her legs, leaning over her as I did so. I kissed her hard, hearing her gasp into my mouth as I slid my tongue in to entwine with hers, resting my knees against the edge of the sofa. I rested the flat of my hand against her bare back, pushing her closer to me as I continued tasting her sweet, delicious mouth. All of a sudden, she broke the kiss, her features twisting into a frown. What the hell?

"You've still got all your clothes on."

I couldn't help but smile at her self-conscious tone - there was absolutely no need for it. I leaned back, my eyes roving over every line and curve of her body, wanting to show her just how wonderful she looked. Bella was amazingly attractive, and I didn't want her to think otherwise.

"Patience," I replied, placing a finger on her lips to show I wanted her to be quiet. I traced her lips with my tongue suggestively, and she shuddered with pleasure. My mouth travelled over her neck, collarbone, between the soft valley of her breasts and lower still. Lifting off her, I rested my knees on the floor, kneeling before her. I touched my lips to her stomach, trailing kisses all the way to the edge of her hip, then back up. Glancing downwards, I noticed she was completely bare – there wasn't even a landing strip. Christ.

Not that I particularly minded either way, but for some reason, on Bella, I found it so, so hot. I didn't think I'd be able to explain how much it turned me on; it just did. I shifted, the bulge in my pants feeling uncomfortably tight, but I'd have my chance soon enough. I wanted to touch and taste that bare, tempting skin first- wanted her to shake with release even before I fucked her. It was a fairly intimate thing to do with a complete stranger, but something about her made me want to make the experience as enjoyable as I could for her. I dropped my hands to her thighs and slowly parted them. She gasped nervously, but the next second, the moon burst from behind the clouds and I was instantly dumbfounded. Its light shone through the window, illuminating the two of us for a brief moment. For the first time, I could see that her thighs were crisscrossed with red marks so neat and methodical she could have only made them herself.

I couldn't stop myself exhaling a sharp breath, even though her eyes widened in horror as she realised what I'd seen, what she'd herself forgotten about. Raising my head, I met her eyes, reading the shame on her face. The girl was in so much pain, and I hadn't even fully realised it. Should I be doing this? She looked so vulnerable and ashamed, and I didn't want her feeling crappy the next morning because I didn't want us to meet up again. I decided, however, that the worst thing I could do would be to stop now, and have her hate herself even more. I was glad of the fact that there still wasn't enough light to illuminate the faint, white scars that dotted my own body. That would make for an awkward conversation.

The last thing I wanted her to think was that I was disgusted by her. I wasn't really- more upset about the fact that she did it. For some reason, the fact that such a pretty, intelligent girl would hurt herself stirred something deep inside me. I'd sensed the quiet sadness buried within her even before I'd seen the evidence of her self-inflicted injuries, but that confirmed it. Something about Bella made me want to be as good to her as I possibly could be. Whatever it was that made her do that to herself, I wanted to make her forget. Even if it was just for the night.

Moving my hands so they wouldn't aggravate her scars, I touched my lips to her ankle, her calf, and her inner thigh, brushing them over her skin in lingering kisses. Resting my palms upwards on the backs of her knees, I repeated my actions on the other side, taking my time and relishing every whispered moan that came from her. I'd heard her surprised intake of breath as I carried on, knowing that she hadn't expected me to continue. However, it was probably best that we both just tried to forget about it for the moment.

Pushing upwards with the flat of my hands, I lifted her legs so they were draped over my shoulders, her toes curled over my back. I held one thigh fast and ran my hand up the other, too far gone now to take any more time over it. I had to taste her immediately. I ran my thumb over her slick heat, and pressed down on her clit, hard. She let out a strangled whimper and muttered "Fuck!" I squeezed my eyes shut, praying she wouldn't say it again just then in case I exploded in my pants like some thirteen-year-old boy.

"Didn't think a girl like you would be saying words like this," I murmured into the softness of her thigh. "Or be bare." I wanted to let her know how much I liked that, and she was smiling when I glanced up at her face, obviously pleased. "It's fucking hot, though, Bella," I added, enjoying the way her name sounded on my lips. I swept my fingers over the warm, bare skin, feeling her become wetter still under my touch. Circling her clit with my thumb, I ran two fingers between her slick folds and slowly slid them inside. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she gasped. I'm not finished yet, I thought with a grin.

Carefully, I twisted the fingers buried inside her, pushing against that spot just inside that I knew would drive her wild, while my thumb rubbed her clit. She cried out, and I grinned at her while I worked at her with my fingers. With a brief kiss on her inner thigh, I momentarily laid my tongue against her slit, breathing out over her. Bella squirmed, but I held her fast, drawing back for a moment to tease her. It was a bit cruel, but I was about to make up for it. I licked all the way over her, flattening my tongue against her. She tasted sweet and salty, and I wanted more. Removing my thumb, I flicked my tongue over the hard nub. Her hips jerked, rising to meet my mouth as her feet dug into my back. I withdrew my fingers slowly, pushing them back in faster as I slid my tongue over her, moving it back up to her clit. I sped up the motion of my fingers a fraction, and she arched her back, moaning "Oh God."

"You like that, mmm?" I muttered against her heated flesh, my fingers still inside her. She quietly whimpered as my words vibrated over her. I knew full well she liked it, but it turned me on like crazy to hear it from her. She replied with a low moan, and I laughed before sliding my tongue in between her lips again. Her hands twisted in the sofa fabric, the knuckles white where she was holding on so tightly. Incoherent grunts and moans came from her as I circled my tongue over her clit, combining that with the movements of my fingers. Bella was so fucking tight around my fingers, and I couldn't wait to see what that would feel like when I was inside her. However, I had to focus on the task at hand. Her breathing was uneven, her stomach muscles tight and concave, her neck and chest flushed. I knew she was close, and I wanted nothing more than to tip her over the edge.

She panted heavily. "Shit, I'm so...," she muttered, trying to tell me what she wanted.

I pumped my fingers in and out of her faster, sucking her clit between my lips. Indecipherable screams and utterances of my name fell from her lips as I sucked on her, curling my fingers inside her as my other hand held her thigh tightly to stop her moving. Considering for a moment, I gently bit down on her clit, scraping my teeth over it, and she cried out the loudest she had yet. Her hips bucked against my face as she came hard, shuddering against my mouth as she clamped tightly around my fingers. I gave her a moment, slowing down before I sucked her clit back into my mouth, gently moving my fingers within her until she came a second time, gasping and shaking. I placed a soft kiss on her inner thigh, letting the poor girl catch her breath. A hint of a smirk played across my face as I reflected on the fact I'd managed to give her multiple orgasms. Oh, yes. I've still got it.

I shifted my body upwards, placing kisses on her stomach, taking a nipple into my mouth as I went and releasing it with a wet sound. Bella was still trembling from her orgasms, and tried to sit up weakly, but I held her back against the sofa. I crushed my mouth to hers, trying to convey with every movement of my lips against hers just how utterly delectable she was. As I slid my tongue into her mouth, she drew back, obviously ashamed that she could taste herself on me.

"Don't be embarrassed," I told her seriously, locking my eyes on hers in an intense stare. "You should get to see how you taste – delicious."

She grasped my hair tightly and yanked my face back to hers, kissing me with a near violent force that indicated my attempts to reassure her must have worked. Her small fingers tugged at the hem of my t-shirt, and I raised my arms to aid her as she pulled it over my head. She gasped as she ran her eyes over my well-muscled chest, and I tried not to smile. Her fingers darted out to trace the contours of my right bicep, and suddenly she stared. I realised instantly that her eyes were fixed on my tattoo of green vines, 'Ava' written in black ink, and a single white lily. I also knew that she'd follow it up with the usual question. Well, I was going to preempt it. I'd say what I'd always said, and hopefully we'd hear no more about it.

"Girlfriend from a long time ago," I said calmly, feeling a hard knot of guilt as I always did whenever I told that familiar lie. "You know what they say, never have anyone's name tattooed on your body. Youthful mistake."

"Oh, I wasn't looking," she muttered awkwardly, turning her gaze away. "Doesn't matter to me."

Let's hope not.

By that point, my dick was practically screaming to be inside her, and I didn't want to waste time. I stood and swiftly unbuckled my belt, removing my jeans and boxers in one fell swoop. I almost sighed in relief at the fact my erection wasn't cramped up in my pants like it had been for the entire evening.

"Wow." She gaped, but then coughed, looking embarrassed. I had a strong urge to laugh, but I didn't want her to think I was making fun of her. However, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased at her reaction. My lips turned up into a suggestive smile.

Bella got to her feet, her legs still weak from her release, and reached down, covering me with her hand. Fuck! She shifted her fingers up and down the shaft, and it was just far, far too good. The hot burn inside me seared, threatening to intensify. Quickly, I reached down and pushed her hand away, shooting her an apologetic look. Her expression twisted into a frown.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked quietly. I didn't want her to think that at all, while at the same time I felt a bit pathetic admitting how close I was to coming when she'd barely even touched me.

"Quite the opposite," I said smoothly, with a laugh. "I'm not gonna last if you keep that up, gorgeous."

A small smile crossed her face, and I knew it was okay. I bent down and rummaged through my jeans pocket, removing the small foil packet. Her eyes searched the room, focusing on the door, but that wasn't going to happen. Where, though? The sofa? The rug? The coffee table? Against a book cabinet? I grinned to myself as an even better idea came to mind. I took her hand and pulled her over to the wall that had been the site of our earlier kiss. She looked confused at first, but her eyes lit up in understanding. I moved closer to her, and she grabbed my hair, pulling me toward her in a rough kiss full of need and desperation. My hardness pressed into her stomach as I pushed her back into the wall, tasting her soft lips again and again.

I reached down, spreading her slick folds apart with my fingers to gauge whether she was ready for me. I didn't like to brag or anything, but my girth was considerable, and it would definitely hurt her a little if I didn't make sure she was prepared. I'd reached the end of my tether, and knew I couldn't hold back much longer. I wanted to push Bella up against my wall, wrap her body around mine, and fuck her hard and fast. My fingers slipped inside her hot, slick entrance, and when I added a third, I figured she'd be fine.

"You're ready for me, hmm?" I whispered in her ear, scraping my teeth over the lobe. She nodded, her breaths coming quick and uneven as she stood there. Tearing the packet open, I rolled the condom on. My God, I knew my arms were going to hurt the next day, but it was definitely worth it. Taking her hands in mine, I raised them above her head, splaying the backs of them out flat against the wall. Cupping her ass in my hands, I lifted her, holding her back tightly against the wall so she could brace herself against it. She wrapped her legs round my waist, and I shifted the position of my hips so I was holding her to the wall securely.

In a second, I'd be able to sink into her and fulfil all the fantasies that had been spinning through my brain since the moment she'd walked into my bar.

"You're fucking beautiful, Bella Swan," I told her, knowing that didn't come out as smooth as I would have liked. What the hell was wrong with me? I never usually said that to the girls I brought home. My gaze locked on hers - blue eyes on brown - and she blinked, waiting nervously. My hand slid down between our bodies, and I guided myself to her opening, pressing the tip of me against it. Shifting slightly, she dropped her body without warning, taking the whole of me inside her.

Oh my fucking God, she feels so amazing. I jolted, and had to remind myself to keep my other hand steady against her hip that was holding her to the wall, and not drop her.

I grunted as my lips found hers almost immediately, our shared moans into each other's mouths enhancing the sensations tenfold. Dipping my head, I brushed my lips over the skin of her collarbone, sucking on the skin gently as I slammed upwards into her tight, wet heat. She let out a high-pitched moan, and I was nearly undone there and then. Breathing heavily against her neck, I forced myself to regain control, starting back up with slower thrusts before they became quick and deep again once more. She moved over me, and I tipped my hips up so the added friction from the base of my cock would hit her clit. I was rapidly losing control, so I'd do all I could to make sure she enjoyed herself as well.

"Oh, shit," she cried out, moaning in my ear and I groaned in reply, moving closer to her so we were skin on skin as I withdrew slowly, before thrusting back into her. Her breasts grazed my chest, and my fingers found purchase against the soft skin of her thigh, gripping it tightly as I pressed her harder into the wall. My other hand palmed her breasts, her nipples tightening under my touch. Bella let out this unbelievably sexy moan into my neck, and yet again I had to breathe out deeply, trying to hold on. Our bodies ground together, our skin becoming slick and sweaty as I fucked her. Her hands ran over my back, her fingers tracing patterns on my skin as she pushed against me. I sped up my thrusts, and she buried her face in my neck, her nails clawing at my back hard enough to hurt, but it felt good all the same.

My lips crushed to hers, my tongue sliding into her mouth as I kissed her hard and roughly, all the last vestiges of control gone. Her open, willing body was pinned against the wall with my weight, and she was making these fuckhot porn-actress moans as I slammed in and out of her. I couldn't take my eyes off Bella's face; its expression was beautifully contorted with the pleasure I was giving her. Her heels pressed against my ass, urging me on, and I muttered something unintelligible against her neck. I drew my hand down her body, holding it against her hip to keep myself steady.

It dawned on me that I was probably having the best sex I'd had in years, and believe me, I'd had a lot. She dropped her eyes to meet mine, and without warning, she pressed a kiss to my neck. It was an unbelievably intimate thing for a stranger to do, especially in the middle of such a frenzied fuck fest, but it felt great for some reason. This stupid noise halfway between a grunt and a moan came from my mouth and I knew I had to taste her lips again. Her face froze for a second, and I registered its nervousness as she realised that she'd made herself vulnerable.

Letting her know I liked what she'd done, I roughly crashed my mouth down on hers, kissing her roughly yet tenderly. I panted into her mouth, my breaths coming quick and fast with hers as I deepened my thrusts. Shit, it was too good; I wasn't going to last much longer. She was so incredibly tight and responsive to every move I made. However, I wanted her to enjoy herself, so I slowed my movements, even though my dick was screaming to pound into her harder. Please let her be fucking close, I prayed silently.

I muttered "Close?" and it came out in that ridiculous hoarse sex voice that people inexplicably seemed to gain while fucking.

After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, she murmured "Yeah," and I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing I could continue. She pushed down on me harder, rubbing herself against my cock as I fucked her deeper than ever. I was probably being a bit rough, and there was a good chance we'd both be sore the next day - but I couldn't stop. This girl possessed this dazzling sexual power over me that I couldn't even begin to explain. A low moan came from her lips, and I placed my other hand on her hip, hitching both her legs up against me as she wound them ever-tighter round my body.

Her hands rested on my shoulders, her shallow breaths grazing my ear and making it increasingly more difficult to concentrate on keeping my movements steady. When she dipped her head and sank her teeth into my neck, I all but dropped her, but the sharp pain immediately gave way to a further onslaught of pleasure. I didn't know how to respond, my muscles working to hold up both of us now, the methodical pounding of flesh outraced by the pounding of my heart. I pressed my lips to her damp hair and inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla left there by her shampoo.

Our bodies were practically sticking to one another with sweat as I moved against her, keeping her suspended above the ground. It was different to my usual conquests, but I barely had time to register that thought as her legs tightened around me, holding me to her in a vice-like grip.

Oh, God. My stomach muscles tautened, and I could feel the heat and tension building inside me. Bella was so warm and wet and tight I could have probably gone minutes ago, but I knew that she was almost there.

My fingers dug into her hips, holding her up with all my strength as she continued to lift herself over me. She raised her head, and our eyes met for a brief moment. Her warm brown eyes were alive with a fiery lust, and she bit down on her lip with a soft sigh that just about killed me. It hit me that it almost felt intimate, which frightened me, but I didn't want it to end, either. I was so responsive to her, and she to me, that I was almost past the point of coherent thought as I manipulated her body. She raised her head, leaning back into the wall, and I took a deep, burning breath, every nerve ending in my body tingling as I pushed into her with virtually all the force I was capable of.

Please..now...

"Jasper, oh fuck...ahh!" The words fell from her lips as a strangled scream as she came hard, shaking and trembling against me as her hips bucked against mine. Mere seconds later, the combination of her saying my name and feeling her come around me pushed me over the edge as well. The searing fire within me peaked, my head falling to her neck as I rode out my climax. I continued to shudder against her for several seconds after, unable to stop myself muttering fuck knows what in her ear while my orgasm subsided.

I automatically loosened my hold on her hips, and she slumped on to the rug beneath our feet. The dull ache in my legs I'd been ignoring finally took hold, and my knees threatened to give out from under me. I flexed my arms, wincing, but I knew it had been worth it. Reaching for my discarded jeans, I took a cigarette out before joining her on the rug. My heart was hammering, the tension in my body having not fully abated, and I really needed to calm the fuck down. I needed to not look at her right then, or I'd only lose myself in how exquisite she looked, stretched out on my rug naked, her damp tendrils of hair sticking to her forehead. Losing the battle with myself, I stole another glance at her, a shallow breath stuttering from me as I did so. While I flicked the lighter on and took a deep drag, her eyes snapped open. I exhaled, the cloud of smoke briefly hanging in the air between us before it dispersed.

She frowned, and I remembered that it wasn't very polite to blow smoke in someone's face- passive smoking and all. But no, perhaps that wasn't it. Her teeth scraped over her lip, and she sighed in what was an unmistakeably wistful way. Well I'll be damned. She smokes? I was momentarily floored by that particular revelation, and laughed softly to myself.

"Have the rest; I'll light another."

I offered her the cigarette I'd started and she took it gratefully, sucking it back. After lighting a second for myself, I reclined, grateful to be able to relax after physically exerting myself so much.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," she told me in a low voice, and I looked up in surprise.

It was becoming all too clear that little about Bella fit with my first impression of her. Just when I thought I had her figured out, she would confound me yet again. Her eyes cast down to the floor, and she appeared to be lost in her own musings. I grabbed an ashtray from the shelf behind me and stubbed out my cigarette. A chill was creeping over my skin, and it wasn't from the cold. That wouldn't usually have happened. By that point, I'd have already called her a cab, and would have made idle small-talk while we waited before sending her out the door with a chaste peck on her cheek and cab fare in her pocket. There was a difference, however. Usually, that didn't bother me in the slightest - I mean, it wasn't as if I turned girls out on to the street. The difference was that she'd made me care.

She was different. I remembered the moment I saw her scars, hidden right then as she was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, and it still shocked me. Perhaps I shouldn't have continued, but I knew that would have only made her feel like crap, and that wasn't what I wanted.

"That was really - by the way, wow," she stammered, her cheeks reddening.

For whatever reason, her nervousness kind of touched me. Lighting another cigarette, I allowed my gaze to unashamedly wander over her body. Bella was...ravishing, or at least I'd call her so if I ever actually used words like that.

"It was more than wow," I told her entirely honestly, trying to convey so much more than I could in that less-than-eloquent sentence. It wasn't just the sex, even though I would definitely rank it up there among the best I'd ever had. Our conversation at Phoenix had intrigued me, and she'd had far more to say for herself than the usual insipid blondes who'd sidle up to me at the bar. The familiar feeling of being trapped wasn't there. As long as she sat there, I wanted to sit beside her, not just hustle her out the door as quickly as I could. Somehow, her presence captivated me, and that was why I'd allowed her to stay for far too long. My mind swirled with half-formed thoughts that were alien to me, each one more bizarre than the last.

Idly, I entertained the thought of inviting her to stay in my bed. At least that way I might be able to talk her into a repeat performance in the morning. In fact, I was fairly sure she'd be up for that. I didn't like to brag, but I was pretty sure she'd remember that night with me for a good while. I took another pull of my cigarette, letting the corners of my lips turn up into a muted smile. The idea of her staying took root in my brain, and it was a pleasant fantasy, despite the fact that it could not and would not happen. I blinked, squeezing my eyes shut as if to dissuade myself from taking that course of action.

They were my rules, and I'd made them for a reason; it only avoided messiness further down the line. I couldn't give women the wrong idea about what I was capable of. I could be charming when I wanted to be, and it would be easy to convince them that I could give them what they wanted, but that wasn't how I wanted to be. Perhaps I was a bit of a ladies' man, but I wasn't a heartbreaker. Besides tending bar, I'd virtually made a career out of avoiding intimacy, but at least I was upfront about it. Bella's eyes were focused on my face, questioning it, and I knew it wasn't fair to pretend any longer that there could ever be anything more than that night.

Heaving a sigh, I got to my feet. "Do you want to stay on the couch, or can I call you a cab?"

Her face fell, and guilt twisted in my stomach, pouring icy water on all my stupid fantasies. I instantly wanted to take it back - to tell her I didn't mean it, that she could stay, that it didn't matter. But I didn't, and it wasn't just because it was already too late. It was because this girl that I'd never met before mattered to me, and even if I'd never see her again, that frightened the living hell out of me. I offered a hand, and she hesitated before letting me help her to her feet. I immediately felt guiltier still when her face creased into a yawn. She looked so, so tired, and part of that was definitely my fault, despite the fact she'd had a fair bit to drink. I decided I'd better let her stay on the couch. That presented its own challenges for the morning, but I knew I owed her that much.

"Couch, I think?" I said, feeling more and more pissed off at myself at the seconds went on. I was the one being emotionally withdrawn and cold, and then I offered to let her stay like it I was doing her a big favour. I really hated myself sometimes. "I'll get you a blanket."

With that, I headed to my bedroom, my steps slow and lacking in enthusiasm. It wasn't only to do with the fact that I was tired, either. Knowing she was going to be there all night had sent my heartbeat skittering, and I was afraid that I'd give in and go to her or something. Pulling the closet open, I took out the fleece blanket nestled at the bottom that I'd probably never even used. It would do well enough for her on the couch, and was thick enough to keep her warm on what was an unusually cold night. Seriously Jasper, shut the fuck up. Why do you even care? My agitated inner monologue was seriously starting to irritate me, but once I'd allowed the overwhelming feelings of guilt to take hold, I was unable to suppress them. I knew that Bella deserved to be treated better than that.

Grabbing a pair of pyjama bottoms from a drawer, I pulled them on and returned to the living room, blanket in hand. I noted that she'd also taken the opportunity to put some clothes back on. Chewing on my lip, I tried to think of something to say that would end the night on the right note, but I came up with nothing.

"Okay, well, goodnight."

With an unsteady hand, I offered her the blanket and she took it, her small fingers touching mine for the briefest instance. My breathing hitched, and I sucked back a strangled gasp, shoving my hands deep into my pockets to avoid touching her again. Even that momentary contact sparked something within me, and I was afraid that I'd pull her into my arms and drag her to my bed without even knowing what I was doing. I could feel her eyes boring into my back as I left the room, but I didn't turn.

What the hell just happened? Bella Swan had done something to me. I had no idea what it was, but I knew I couldn't trust myself to be around her. Banging my bedroom door shut, I stood with my back to the door, balling my hands into fists to try and stop them from shaking.

Were his thoughts what you expected? I'm glad to be able to share a new side of the story. Please leave me a review if you liked it! Thanks for reading. xxx