Project H and the Half-Blood Prince

By Panicattack/ Project H

Part 5

*Draco's favourite tower*

Dumbledore: -and I don't want you using my strawberry mouthwash

Snape: Not an issue. I can't help but think this isn't the only reason you called me up here

Dumbledore: Things may go wrong, and I'll need you to come through for me. And keep an eye on things around here while I'm away with Harry

Snape: You always go away with Harry. How come we don't go places anymore?

Dumbledore: We'll go somewhere when I get back

Snape: You always say that and we never do

Dumbledore: OK. I promise that when I get back, you and I will go fishing

Snape: *Muttering as he walks away* We won't go fishing, he'll say he's too busy or something...

Harry: What was that about?

Dumbledore: Just sending Professor Snape to run an errand for me

Harry: Why did he smell like strawberry?

Dumbledore:...two-timing traitor! Nevermind that. You need a shave, my friend

Harry: You have a four-foot long beard

Dumbledore: Point taken. You've grown so much since your first year

Harry: You haven't changed a bit. Well, except between my second and third year. You practically became a new man

Dumbledore: We're going somewhere tonight, and it could be dangerous. You must promise to do exactly as I tell you no matter what. Should I tell you to hide, you hide. Should I tell you to run, you run. Should I tell you to abandon me and save yourself, you must do so

Harry: What if you go insane and ask me to kill you?

Dumbledore: Absurd scenario. We won't even consider it

*Cave*

Harry and Dumbledore: *Apparate onto a rock in the middle of rough waters, about a kilometre from the cave*

Harry: Wanna have another go at that apparition?

Dumbledore: Shut up

*In the cave itself*

Dumbledore: The entrance requires payment. Got change for a 20?

Harry: Not on me

Dumbledore: Blood will have to do then *Cuts hand*

Harry: I must try that at a supermarket when I'm short on cash

*Lake*

Dumbledore: We need to get across

Harry: Drink the lake, then walk?

Dumbledore: I would, but something about Slughorn's memory makes me think there might be an underwater boat *Finds boat*

Harry: That was easy

Dumbledore: It took 8 months of investigation and magical experimentation for me to work out how he would conceal such a thing

Harry: Less talking, more boating

*The Basin*

Dumbledore: Oh yes, there is definitely a Horcrux concealed in here. This water must be drunk

Harry: Told you

Dumbledore: You must make sure I drink all of it, no matter what I say. If I beg you to stop, or politely request a toilet break, you are not to indulge these requests

Harry: Will do

Dumbledore: *Drinks water* Kill me!

Harry: As you wish *Raises wand*. No, wait, keep drinking

Dumbledore: *Keeps drinking* Kill me!

Harry: You're really confusing the "follow every order" thing

Dumbledore: *Finishes drinking* Water!

Harry: Well that's what caused all the trouble in the first place. I'll look for some juice

Inferi: Grrr!

Harry: No! Get your own pendant! *Takes pendant and kicks some inferi arse, until being dragged underwater*

Dumbledore: Flame on! *Ring of fire*

*Draco's favourite tower

Dumbledore: Water...

Harry: Well I wanted to stop at a coffee house on the way, but apparently you know best

Dumbledore: Get Severus. Speak to no one else

Door: *Slams*

Dumbledore: Harry, hide below. Say nothing

Harry: *Hides*

Draco: Professor!

Dumbledore: Good evening

Draco: Who else is here? I heard you talking

Dumbledore: I often talk aloud to myself

Draco: You call yourself Harry?

Dumbledore:...sometimes. You're no assassin, Draco

Draco: How do you know what I am? I've done things that would shock you. Yesterday, I parted my hair on the opposite side

Dumbledore: And Katie Bell's cursed necklace, and Slughorn's poison mead?

Draco: Oh yeah, also me

Dumbledore: I cannot help feeling your heart wasn't really in it

Draco: In the mead? No, poison was in it

Dumbledore: I'll make this easy for you. I won't fight back

Draco: Expelliarmus!

Dumbledore: *Drops wand* Now then; that's not the spell that will get it done

Draco: Wingardium leviosa!

Dumbledore: *Lifts up* No, not that one

Draco: Oculus explodo!

Dumbledore: OH GOD MY FACE!

Door: *Slams. Frankly, people should have more respect for old frames and hinges*

Dumbledore: You're not alone. But how?

Draco: Vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement

Dumbledore: But if you required a passage into the castle, shouldn't the room have just created one. Unless your heart wasn't really in it...

Draco: In the room? No, the cabinet was in it

Bellatrix: And Bellatrix was in it. Also, these guys *Points to Death Eaters*

Dumbledore: I think introductions are in order

Bellatrix: Bella, like to kill people

Fenrir: Fenrir, ditto

Death eaters: Same here

Pettigrew: Peter, happy to be here to serve the almighty Bellatrix

Dumbledore: Albus, probably gonna die soon

Draco: Draco Malfoy...about to kill Dumbledore

Bellatrix: Good boy *Kisses Draco's neck*

Dumbledore: Keeping those bloodlines pure, 'ey Bellatrix?

Bellatrix: No more stalling! Kill him, Draco!

Fenrir: I'll do it. Let me eat his face

Bellatrix: No. The Dark Lord was clear

Snape: *Walks past Harry*

Harry: Oh thank God!

Snape: Avada Kedavra!

Harry: Oh dear God!

Dumbledore: *Plummets to his death*

Fenrir: I thought the Dark Lord was clear

Death eaters: *Run through the castle*

Bellatrix: *Trashes the Great Hall*

Snape: Now this is why we can't have nice things

*The Grounds*

Harry: Snape! He trusted you! Bellatrix! You less so

Snape: Go on, Draco

Harry: Fight, you coward! Incarcerous

Snape: Nah *Blocks Harry's spell*

Harry: Fight back!

Snape: Nah

Harry: Come on!

Snape: Nah

Harry: Please

Snape: Nah

Hagrid's Hut: *'splodes*

Bellatrix: *Knocks Harry down*

Snape: No! He belongs to the Dark Lord. And he specifically said not to bruise him

Bellatrix and Death Eaters: *Flee*

Harry: Sectumsempra

Snape: *Blocks it* You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? OK, I'll use one of yours; Stupid-Glasses-Ugly-Freakus!

Harry: Your spell?

Snape: Yes. I'm the Half-Blood Prince

Harry: Care to elaborate?

Snape: Nah *Leaves*

*Foot of Hogwarts Castle*

Dumbledore: *Dead*

Everyone: *Staring at his corpse. That's what they do at Hogwarts*

Harry: *Mourns*

Ginny: *Comforts. Because apparently Ron and Hermione don't do that anymore*

Everyone: *Raise their wands*

Someone who knows how to handle the situation: *Not present. Well, he is, but he's dead*

*Dumbledore's Funeral. No, wait, back at Draco's favourite tower*

Hermione: Do you think Draco would have done it?

Harry: No, he was lowering his wand. It was Snape, and I did nothing

Hermione: That's OK, was all did nothing. Even after he died, we all just stood there

Ron: I think-

Harry: Shut up. The pendant was a fake. Take a look *Gives pendant, then looks away in shame*

Hermione: *Opens pendant, paper flies away*

Harry: You see?

Hermione: Um, yeah, absolutely. Wow, shocking. Just look at all the fake-ness

Harry: That note. I've read it so many times

Hermione: Do you happen to remember it by heart?

Harry: It just so happens that I do. It read:

To the Dark Lord

I will be dead long before you read this, but want you to know it was I who discovered your secret. Not about the toupee, we've all known that for years, but that I have stolen the Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when your meet your match, you will be mortal once more.

R.A.B.

PS. If MacNair is still around, tell him I didn't mean those things about his sister. She's a lovely girl.

Hermione: R.A.B.?

Harry: No idea

Ron: Maybe it's-

Harry: Shut up. Whoever they are, they have the real Horcrux. Which means it was all a waste

Hermione: Ron's OK with it, you know. You and Ginny

Harry: Sorry, what was that? I was busy concentrating on the impending destruction of civilisation, rather than thinking about the cute ginger I snogged. I'm not coming back here, Hermione. I've got to finish whatever Dumbledore started. And I don't know where that will lead me, or where to begin, or where I'm going. Honestly, Dumbledore gave me absolutely nothing to go on

Hermione: We'll come

Harry: Cheers

Ron: And I-

Harry: Shut up

Cormac: I sure wouldn't mind coming with Hermione, if you know what I mean

Harry: He stays here

*Dumbledore's funeral. No, wait, THE END*

Author's note: Thanks to all who read, reviewed, favourited or set alerts for this story. The feedback is much appreciated, and hopefully you all got some enjoyment out of this latest addition (although it was probably a bit too long). New Moon is next on the agenda, followed by either Eclipse or Deathly Hallows, both of which will definitely be done at some point. Also, HOW AWESOME DOES DEATHLY HALLOWS LOOK? Can't wait. Only problem: Won't have any Cormac. I don't know how I'll live without him.

See you all for Project H: New Moon!