A / N ;; Dedicated to Lu Ten, Iroh's departed son. Also, for another character of mine who may or may not get introduced to the world of Avatar.
And no, it's not the one in this story (what a twist!).
Please enjoy the read.
"Leaves from the vine, falling so slow, like fragile tiny shells, drifting in the foam... Little soldier boy, come marching soldier boy, comes marching home…"
It took all her strength not to join in with the elder man standing at his son's grave, unaware of the woman standing far back close to another grave of someone she didn't even know. She made sure it looked like her respect was going to that specific grave, all the while she was apologizing to it for her respect actually belonging to the one where the old man stood. From where she was, she could see a candle lit, the flame softly illuminating anything within its reach through the darkness of the graveyard. Fresh flowers had been placed on ground in front of the tomb-flowers that symbolized the Fire Nation. She had come back to the place she once called home just to visit the grave, to rekindle her memories.
Her heart gave a solid thud, a stream of painful loneliness coursed through her. The young woman bit down on her lip. How long had been since Lu Ten died? It felt like years. Years that past slowly, each bringing with them a new day that hammered down on her loneliness. But she knew his death hadn't just affected her, it had affected his father, too. Always had the man look strong and fierce when she saw glimpses of him, but now… just standing there… He looked like a tired, old, and sorrowful man who had lost his son.
She wanted to stand next to him, to sing the song he had made for the lost young man, but her feet wouldn't allow her. Lu Ten had died at the hands of Earth benders, and unfortunately she was one of them. How would it make him feel to stand next to an Earth bender who had fallen hopelessly in love with his son? Could they share the same remorse, or would he emanate his hatred for her kind? Did he even hate people of the Earth Nation? She was too scared to find out, to take those brave steps, and let him know he wasn't the only one who cared for Lu Ten.
How did he feel without his son? She knew how she felt… Alone was a given. Sad was a misunderstanding. So much painful emotions mixed into one body. How many more nights would she have to wake up to her own crying, her own shivering, her own nightmares? She would drown in the flashback of his smile. She could still feel the phantom touch of his fingers against her skin. Warm, and full of blood, and alive. His voice was always clear in her ears, perfectly solid, like he was still there. It was literally like having a ghost haunt her. The painful memories had been a struggle to repress.
Everyday she'd wake up feeling alone, but would go about her business and let no one know she was hurt. And maybe some could tell, but they never brought it out to her attention. If she smiled, they smiled back. When she glanced down, they would keep quiet and mind their own business. They didn't need to know what was on her mind. They wanted to spare her sharing her pain. But maybe that's what she had been hoping for all along… Someone else who felt the same.
Of course that other person would be Lu Ten's father. Iroh never knew of her. Lu Ten planned on introducing her after the attack on the Earth Nation was over, and it seemed to her there was no longer a need to be introduced now. Iroh didn't need to know of her. He didn't need to know that his son had been in a relationship with someone originally from the nation who killed him-despite that most of her life she had actually lived within the Fire Nation to avoid trouble. Something about approaching him just felt wrong, no matter how much she longed to express everything she had been keeping on the inside.
She bit her lip harder, and tensed up her muscles.
Remembering hurt. Was it right of her to long for the attention of the dearly departed? To wish that Lu Ten could just come back and give her and his father the attention of the young man they formerly knew? But of course, after all these months, no matter how much she longed and wish and hoped, Lu Ten wouldn't come back. He couldn't. He was permanently gone. Taken away from her in a war, just like that… He was gone.
He was gone…
It was like the first time she had realized she would never see him again. It felt like a slap in the face. Reality had hit her with a force. All the dreams of a future she had built in her mind of her being with him were torn down in a second. Only back then, she had cried. She had cried until the tears would no longer come and the sobs no longer made a sound. And when she was done, another realization came to her, she would have to move on. She would have to eventually let go. If she wanted any hope, she would have to accept that he was gone. The process of moving on had never been harder.
Her golden eyes had closed tightly as the image of Lu Ten's face, his perfect smile, slowly painted itself into her head. The memories she had held back were all crashing down on her. Nights where he would sneak away from the castle to come visit her. Nights when they would go on dates and simply be happy together. Memories where the both of them would laugh, and hold each other, and smile, and promise to be happy together for as long as possible.
Why not forever?
She shook herself, and slowly regained her composure. Iroh was still at the grave when she opened her eyes. He was still praying, burning incense for his boy. A tugging feeling finally pulled her away from the grave, and over to the elder man. He looked a little surprise when he saw her, staring at her through the hood of her cloak. But slowly, he turned back to the tomb.
"Did you know him?" he asked silently.
She nodded. "He was, to say the least, someone I admired."
A small smile pulled at Iroh's lips. "It's about time you moved over here. I was starting to feel alone. What's your name?" he asked.
"My name is Tara," she whispered. "And I'm just as alone as you are now."
"I'm just happy that someone else visits my son's grave, too."
Neither of them spoke a word to each other after. Iroh started hum his song, and Tara slowly adjusted herself to sit on her knees. She stared at the engravings on the tomb, letting a small smile wiggle onto her lips.
"Brave soldier boy comes marching home…" she whispered, having memorized Iroh's song. The words tasted like tears. It was a song completely dedicated to him. It was the song of Lu Ten's grave.