A two-part told by Rachel and then Puck. The obligatory post-Funk ficlet. Takes place in my "You Think You Know" Universe.

Enjoy.

I loved you.

Rachel wants to scoff, perhaps laugh derisively. She thinks it is ironic that the two times Jesse has mentioned love to her, it's been biting and not at all what she expected. But perhaps that is simply the way life has been for her, Rachel reasons to herself as she imagines the egg yolk dripping down into her eyes and mouth. It was foolish of her to think that she could ever out-manipulate a person who had been intent on using her from the beginning.

Her mother. His defection. And now this.

Rachel doesn't know how much more she can take. Sure she's always prided herself on plowing forward, compartmentalizing the hate and ridicule inflicted upon her in school. It's a good foundation for her to call upon when she's a world-acclaimed actress, this hurt and pain that swirls around inside her chest like an angry hornet's nest. It stings and Rachel rubs at it absently in the empty choir room, her costume for the funk number they are going to perform shortly already on. Mr Schue had requested one final run through before they go on stage and decimate Vocal Adrenaline. The thought of the devastated looks on Giselle and Jesse's faces makes Rachel bite her lip in anticipation.

She's never been an advocate of intentionally inflicting harm on people. McKinley has been too much of a deterrent for that. Rachel has played the victim too long, been too compliant with her detractors. Yes it is necessary to maintain this warped version of a status quo – where her talent is often ignored by Mr Schue during one of his teaching moments, where a slushie facial is par for the course, where Quinn sketching that atrocious picture of her a few weeks ago with the word loser spelled out in capital letters.

Her fingers fist in the thin cotton of her red shorts and Rachel bows her head, blinks her eyes furiously so that the burning behind them doesn't become too much to bear. She's cried too much already, shed too many tears for people who didn't deserve them at all.

Finn with his clumsy rejection. Jesse with his simple turn of the cheek. Shelby with her proclamation that being her mother was just simply too hard.

Rachel had never felt so lonely.

There is a shuffling of feet and Rachel squeezes her eyes tight before slowly opening them. She is taken aback to see Santana and Brittany in front of her, Mercedes, Tina and Quinn ringed behind them. Rachel resists the urge to scoot her chair back a few healthy inches, flickers her eyes around to wonder if this is an ambush. These girls (perhaps maybe not Tina and quite possibly Mercedes) all hate her with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

'Chillax RuPaul,' Santana tells her, sounding supremely bored. 'We're here to pull you out of that deep funk you're in.'

Rachel narrows her eyes, the wariness already settling in. 'Thank you Santana but I assure you that I'm-'

'Rachel, what Jesse did was whack,' Mercedes interrupts her, folds her arms across her chest while giving her a knowing look. 'Don't tell me I didn't see that sad, Dear John expression on your face when Vocal Adrenaline went all Queen on our behinds.'

'I always knew Jesse was going to defect,' she informs them and isn't surprised to see their expressions widen in what she thinks is anger. 'Did any of you actually think that a seasoned performer like that was going to give up his coronation before graduation by transferring to McKinley?'

'So you knew-' Quinn starts and Rachel shakes her head, angling her face away from their stares.

'Of course I knew. Despite your lack of faith in me, I am very much aware of why the Jesse St James chose me. Aside from the obvious instructions from my mother, he was simply utilizing me as a cover so that he successfully infiltrate our club.'

'But you liked him,' Tina manages to point out.

I still do.

It irritates Rachel, the fact that Jesse is always going to be remembered as her first real boyfriend. Now that memory is going to be tainted as well, as many of her good ones are.

'Yes. I fell for his boyish good looks and incredible charisma,' Rachel says. 'His confidence was extremely attractive.' She pauses, takes a deep breath. 'He was also the only boy who genuinely appreciated me in spite of the majority of my so-called friends kindly reminding him of my numerous crazy qualities,' she finishes and doesn't bother masking her rebuke. Mercedes winces and Tina looks slightly queasy. Quinn raises an eyebrow.

'I'm not crazy. My parents had me tested,' Brittany announces and then pats Rachel on the shoulder. 'Maybe you should ask your dads to do the same.'

Santana rolls her eyes and maybe she's imagining it, but Rachel thinks she sees a hint of respect buried behind the Latina's gaze.

'Thank god. There's actually a backbone buried somewhere inside there. Look Man Hands, I'm not breaking a nail throwing down with those VA bitches. But Schue was right about one thing – there's nothing better than taking someone down through song,' Santana says and Rachel finds herself growing curious despite her better judgment.

'I'm sorry?'

'If Madonna thought us anything, it's that us girls have got to stick together. And you're one of us as much as it pains me to say it,' Quinn remarks, the half-smile she's sending Rachel's way taking the edge off her words.

'We sisters have got to do it for ourselves,' Mercedes agrees.

'Excellent use of Aretha Franklin,' Rachel commends and sweeps her gaze around, feels something warm sprout within her stomach. Perhaps glee really had been good for something. 'So what exactly did you have in mind?'

It is quick and hasty, and the perfectionist inside of her simply rebels at the thought of doing anything that isn't anything but flawless.

It reminds her of Jesse, ironically. Meeting him had never been planned, what transpired after happening so fast that she had often found herself wondering whether it had actually happened. They aren't faultless together either, the two of them – Jesse revels in his role as a miva, and Rachel isn't going to tame her high maintenance desires for anyone.

But the two of them together had felt right, as much as she hates herself for even considering that, just as much as what is about to occur.

'See you punks at Regionals,' Puck calls out and Rachel wrings her hands together, spots Mercedes brush by her ex-boyfriend. Rachel sees him about to open his mouth, disentangles her fingers to grab him around the arm and drag him into the wing.

'What the fuck Berry?' Puck demands, glancing down at her. Rachel feels the warmth of his skin and colours slightly, attempts to be nonchalant as she drops her hold.

'I apologize for ruining what I assume was your rather well-thought out parting line, but there is something that I…that I have to do,' she tells him, stumbling over the right word. She doesn't want to do it, maybe needs it a little. But ultimately perhaps having to do it is the correct thing to say after all, because she's always believed that music was the best form of expression.

She sees Tina and Mercedes take their position, the Cheerios lining up on the other side, and straightens her shoulders and places her cap onto Puck's head by tipping her toes.

'Wish me luck.' She doesn't know what possesses her to say it because Puck looks confused, his stare burning into her back as Rachel saunters onto the stage behind the mike. Jesse is there, smack in the middle, and this time when Rachel looks at him she sees him for what he truly is.

Another boy who has trampled all over her heart.

'This encore is dedicated to you Jesse. You were a great read,' she says and Jesse's brow furrows as he contemplates her words. Jesse has been her self-help book, a study of how to be at the top and act as if you deserve to be there too. And Rachel thinks she's learned enough from him to be able to go forward on her own, that despite his motivations his time with her hasn't been entirely wasted on just deception and deceit.

As the opening strains of Irreplaceable fill the auditorium, Rachel wonders why it's all too easy to find a song that expresses how she feels after a boy has disappointed her.

[Key: Rachel, the rest of the girls, together]

To the left

To the left

Ooh ohh yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

Mmmm to the left, to the left

You look so dumb right now,
Standin' outside my house,
Tryin' to apologize,
You're so ugly when you cry,
Please, just cut it out.

Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not,
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught,
But you put on quite a show (oh),
You really had me goin',
But now it's time to go (oh),
Curtain's finally closin',
That was quite a show (oh),
Very entertainin',
But it's over now (but it's over now),
Go on and take a bow, ohh ohh.

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone),
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on (come on),
Talkin' 'bout girl, I love you, you're the one,
This just looks like a re-run,
Please, what else is on…

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh, And the award for
The best liar goes to you (goes to you)
For making me believe (that you)
That you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech, Oh

So since I'm not your everything (irreplaceable)
How about I'll be nothing (nothing)? Nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby I won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear for you)
I won't lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
'Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy

To the left

To the left

Mmmm to the left, to the left

Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left

To the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'?

You must not know 'bout me (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute

You can pack all your bags we're finished (you must not know 'bout me)
'Cause you made your bed now lay in it (you must not know 'bout me)
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

The stunned look on Jesse's face is worth it.

Santana was right – there was nothing better than ripping someone to shreds lyrically.

a/n: google the mash up – its called "Taking A Bow is Irreplaceable". I added a few verses to it but its essentially the same.

Now that this has been purged from my system – off to write some Poltergeist and/or North!

PLEASE REVIEW!