A/N: This may be a bit racist at the beginning, but hey...I don't hate, I gently prod at racial sensitivities. You've got to know that I'm not serious.

Disclaimer: Who would want to own this movie?

Let's Make a Movie

by Undercooked

Let's make a movie, everyone. A terrible one.

The Fire Nation will spend all day answering computer maintenance calls, the waterbenders will all be great fans of Sarah Palin, and the earthbenders will be just...Asian, so there goes all your seriousness right off the bat. Now, characters...

"I'm an eloquently speaking ninja," says the avatar. This is his motto; everything else he says are variations on the original.

"I'm young and innocent," states Katara. She talks some more, but that all I heard. Did anyone else hear anything different?

"I AM SO INTENSE!" screams Sokka with his frightening eyes. Is this guy on PCP or what?

"Grrrr," growls Prince Zuko, and his uncle's dreadlocks agree by patting him on the shoulder.

Now that we've set up a great story here, we need some memorable dialogue. This priceless gem of a conversation will be perpetrated between Zuko, Iroh's dreadlocks, and some random child.

"I am so angry."

"Why don't you have sex while I videotape?"

"...What?"

"I said, why don't you settle down, beat your wife, and never be happy?"

"Hey, kid, come here, and tell me why I can never be happy."

"You suck."

"DO YOU SEE?"

This conversation, which is even better than the first, is between Katara and Aang.

"Some black monk helped me learn things."

"Oh. That's cool. He's dead."

"WTF, slut?"

"But it's okay, because you have my super intense brother and me."

"Well, that's just fine."

This is a meaningful conversation heard between Sokka and Yue.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHHHHhhhhh...ah."

"My eyebrows are the wrong color...would your grandma approve?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M SO INTENSE!"

Yep. That should do for dialogue. Now we need some special effects.

Oops. We can't do that in writing. Now that's just plain suffering.

Okay, we have a movie. We're just as good as M. Night Shymalan, now, people. We can all go around making terrible movies and get away with it because we have cool names. Awesome.