The Incredibly Deep & Eloquent Diary of Katie Bell

by: Faithful Wheezy

This is not GoF, OotP, HBP, or DH-compliant. Furthermore, I acknowledge Oliver Wood, at this point, should have graduated and moved on (probably to Puddlemere or something), but since I'm already far gone from the actual universe I decided to put a cherry on top—in this story, he is a year older than Katie and company. What can you do? Writer's prerogative.

Oh and by the way—I see all these story alerts and favorites this story is getting: thank you kindly! Could I have some reviews too?

Two: Don't you trust me?

"I can't wait for when my mother doesn't have to take us by Side-Along Apparition," Katie grumbled as soon as her mother Disapparated with a pop! after making sure the three girls made it to the front door of the Three Broomsticks without any trouble.

"I love your mum," Alicia said complacently, pushing the door of the pub open. "Anyway, no one in our Year can Apparate."

"Legally, anyway," Katie said under her breath.

Angelina took off her coat and looked around. "Where are the guys? Do you see them?"

No longer had she gotten the words out of her mouth when what looked like a red tornado attacked.

"Good evening, ladies," George (for it was he) said, making a bow and stretching out a hand.

Katie and Angelina smiled and followed as Alicia took the proffered appendage and accompanied him to the table where Oliver Wood, Lee Jordan, and Fred Weasley sat.

Remembering what Alicia had said earlier about her "freaking out" over Fred's gift, Katie swallowed uncomfortably at the sight of him.

"Top o' the evening to you, Katie," Fred said, grinning, as she took an empty seat beside him and punched him in the arm in greeting.

"So, where are our gifts, boys?" Angelina said jokingly as she sat down at the table.

"Well, happy break to you, too," Lee replied.

"Oh, come on," George said, "Christmas isn't for a couple of days yet."

"We're sorry she's so impatient," Alicia said, pretending to look exasperated.

As Oliver beckoned a waiter over, Fred turned to Katie. "So? Two weeks of unmolested fun!" he said, as Katie cringed as his choice of words. "What say you?"

"I have a mission," Katie said. Fred waited for her to continue.

When it became evident that she was waiting for him to ask, he leaned forward, his face close to hers. "And what's that?"

"Oh, er" Katie said, a beat later than was appropriate, "my mission is to ensure that this is the best Christmas break. . . ever."

Fred grinned and leaned away from her, tilting his chair. "Easier done than said, Bell."

"Oh really?" Katie challenged, confused as to why it was suddenly easier for her to think again. "What do you have in mind?"

Fred steepled his fingers and looked over them at her. It was a few moments before he finally spoke. "Nothing."

"What?"

"Absolutely nothing!" Fred sat all four of his chair's legs back on the floor, looking mischievous. "Apart from tonight of course, but I think not planning is the best course of action for now."

Katie accepted a mug of butterbeer and sipped it in what she thought was a wise and contemplative gesture. "We'll see about that."

"How dare you second-guess a Weasley?" Fred asked in mock despair. He made as if to tilt up the bottom of her mug in order to spill it, but, his arms were longer than he thought.

"Fred!"

Katie immediately pushed her chair back and stood up in one, swift motion, resulting in the chair falling to the ground with a clang. Fred had accidentally knocked the mug over as Katie drank, resulting in the hot beverage spilling all over her very, very white shirt, fully revealing her very, very black, very, very lacy undergarments.

It was impossible to tell who had gone more red: Fred, or Katie. Angelina and Alicia knew they should feel sorry—and perhaps embarrassed—for their friend as she hastened to cover herself with her winter jacket; but they were a bit distracted by the way Fred had inadvertently pushed her behind him, shielding her from the other guys at the table, ears aflame. Oliver, Lee, and George apparently seemed to think the same, as they were laughing so much they seemed close to suffocation.

"Oh, man," Fred said stiffly as he focused his eyes at a point two feet above Katie's head. "I am so sorry, Katie, I didn't really mean to tip over your mug—"

"—I told you the black lace was a bad idea," Angelina said innocently, speaking over the laughter, which only intensified at her statement.

Alicia decided Katie had enough embarrassment for the moment and took her aside, taking out her wand. "Tergeo," she said; and the water was siphoned from Katie's shirt, turning it opaque once more.

"I can't believe you're doing underage magic!"

Alicia looked around and gave Katie a furtive look. "The Ministry says we have a Trace, but honestly, they can't really tell who uses magic as long as they're surrounded by people of age. Anyway, you seem pretty desperate for a quick fix-up..."

"That could sound incredibly wrong in a different context, my friend."

"Oh, shut it."

Once she was done, Alicia stowed her wand away and looked at Katie, torn between amusement and vexation. "Anyway, what are you playing at, wearing extremely black, lacy lingerie under a white shirt?"

Katie wrung her hands. "I have no idea! It was the first thing I grabbed out of my dresser." She wailed. "All of the guys saw!"

Alicia patted Katie's back soothingly. "You know boys," she said, "they've probably forgotten about it now."

However, as soon as they got back to the table, Lee yelled, "You know, my cousin doesn't know what to buy for his girlfriend's Christmas present, d'you think you could lend a hand? She might…"

He trailed off as suppressed laughter overcame him, but the implication was clear.

Angelina, however, sipped her mug primly, evidently over it. "Boys," she said, by way of explanation.

Fred seemed to be the exception to her pronouncement, as he was definitely not laughing—in fact, it seemed as though he was trying to avoid looking at Katie.

"Er, are you okay?" Katie asked, prodding his shoulder.

"M'fine," Fred said to the ceiling.

"That wasn't very convincing," Angelina said across the table.

"Anyway, it was Katie who got scalded by butterbeer all over her front," Oliver said, smirking. "Why are you acting as if it was you?"

"I don't know what you guys are talking about," Fred said, talking to the ceiling as if it were an old friend.

Noticing his twin's discomfort, George leapt to his feet and clapped. "Well, anyone hungry?" he asked in an extremely transparent attempt to change the conversation.

-x-

Half an hour later, the seven friends were full and content, having finished their meals and several mugs of butterbeer… and Firewhiskey. The drinks had calmed Fred down considerably, who had returned to his regular self in no time.

"So, are we all ready then?" he asked, once Alicia, the last to finish, finally put her utensils down.

"Don't you think it's a bit too soon after meals to Apparate?" Alicia asked, looking concerned.

"Nonsense, the rest of us were done ages ago," George said, narrowly avoiding Alicia's swung hand. "Nice," he said appreciatively, "you should fill in for me as Beater if I'm ever in the Hospital Wing."

"That might be sooner than you think," Alicia muttered, but she gave a grudging smile. "I really wouldn't want to go by Side-Along so soon after eating, though."

"That's fine, we can kill time looking around Hogs—"

"Wait a second," Lee interrupted, hitting himself in the head as though he had an idea he should have voiced earlier. "The four of us brought our brooms! We can just fly back there!"

Fred raised his nearly empty bottle of Firewhiskey in appreciation as George said, "Genius!"

"Hold on," Oliver said, momentarily quelling the celebrations. "I should fly ahead to scope out atmospheric conditions, first. I'll head out now—the rest of you wait out back until I come back."

As soon as he left, George sighed. "Wood, I ask you. Whenever it comes to brooms, Quidditch Captain Mode has to kick in."

"I wish I'd thought of bringing my broom," Katie said mournfully. "I feel bad having to rely on my Mum for Side-Along every time I want to go out."

"Just a few more months and we can take the test," Alicia said reassuringly.

Nevertheless, the remaining six friends paid for the meal and went outside where the boys stowed their brooms to wait for Oliver Wood.

They didn't have to wait long; and in no time Oliver swooped down, looking cold and breathless, but excited. "It's great!" he said. "We should go before it gets any colder."

George looked around at everyone and grinned. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

He seized Alicia's hand, pulled her on his broomstick and kicked off the ground before she could say a word.

In a similar fashion, Angelina and Lee looked at each other, shrugged, and took off on his broom.

"Come on!" George called from roughly thirty feet up.

Fred looked at Katie.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me," he said, shifting on his feet.

Katie stepped back, as if to hesitate. "Get on a broom—with you?"

Fred grinned widely and mounted his broom. "What, don't you trust me?"

Katie smiled and got on behind him. "Far from it."

And the two kicked off into the night.