TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. ...Except for this. *holds up empty Ramune bottle* Yeah...I own nothing.

"Harry, what is this?" Draco asked warily, poking and prodding at Harry's new video camera, which he had recently dubbed "That Infernal Muggle Contraption".

"It's a video camera, Draco." Harry said, trying not to laugh. It was just too adorable, watching his cute little Slytherin curiously observe the piece of technology.

"And what does this," the other man paused, struggling to pronounce the foreign word that Harry had uttered, "videeyoh camurah do, exactly?"

"Well, let me show you," Harry said between giggles. Draco frowned at him then, crossing his arms and pouting cutely. "I don't see what's so funny, Harry."

Harry rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, and grinned. "Just give the camera." When the blonde handed the camera over to him, he searched for the on button, and pressed it. The screen came to life, showing an exact replica of the room in front of it. Draco's silver eyes widened comically, and if Harry wasn't as infatuated by how absolutely adorable he was, he would've laughed.

"And that's not it, either." If possible, the silver eyes widened even more. "That's not it? It can do more? Like what?" Harry smiled and pressed the 'RECORD' button. "Like this," he replied, aiming the camera at Draco's face. The quizzical expression that followed was priceless. "Nothing's happening," the blonde complained. Harry chuckled, "Do something for the camera, Draco." A pale eyebrow arched in question. "Like what?" he asked carefully. Harry grinned, and gestured wildly with the hand that wasn't holding the camera."Anything! Just be exciting!"

"Ok," the Draco said confusedly. He slowly raised an elegant hand and waved at the camera. "Hi," he mumbled awkwardly. Harry laughed; he never imagined that the infamous Slytherin Ice Prince, 'Always-Pining-For-Attention' Draco Malfoy was camera shy.

The man in question was now thoroughly confused. Why was Harry laughing at him? Was there something on his face? Draco quickly felt his cheeks, there didn't seem to be anything marring the beauty of his perfect features. His hair? He patted the platinum blonde strands carefully, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with them, either. Maybe there was something wrong with his clothes? He looked down quickly, no; there didn't seem to be a thread out of place. He checked his shirt. The buttons were done right. He raised the hem of his shirt and glanced down at his trousers. No, nothing wrong with those.

He looked back up at Harry, now unsure of what was happening. Why in Merlin's name was Harry guffawing like an idiot? And why was the laughter directed at him? He couldn't stand it anymore. "Harry," he whined. "Why are you laughing at me? Stop it!" Harry stopped laughing, and smiled at him. He looked so nice when he smiled, those emerald green eyes would light up the whole room, making him feel like golden rays of sunlight were shining on him. Harry pressed another button on that strange Muggle contraption and crawled over to him. "Look," he said, giving the camera to him, and pressing yet another button. 'Merlin, why does this thing have so many buttons? Is there really a use for each and every one?' Draco thought in amazement. He didn't know Muggles were so advanced. But all thoughts flew from his mind as he saw the screen. He watched in disbelief as video-Draco waved shyly at the camera. "Hi," said the static voice. He smiled in wonder as he heard Harry's grainy laughter in the background.

Harry laughed once more, something he'd been doing a lot more often ever since Draco had moved in with him. "Well, I'll just leave you with this, then. I've got to go back to work." Draco pouted. "Do you have to go?" The brunette smiled and ruffled the blonde's hair, something that used to really bother him, but seemed to go unnoticed this time as Draco's attention was purely focused on working the video camera.

Soon, they had millions and millions of tapes piled in front of the "tell-a-vision", as Draco had called it. Each recorded tape had a label on it, handwritten by Draco in his elegant script. Some of the titles included, "Harry Eating", "Harry Gets Ready For Work", "Harry Looks For His Glasses After I Throw Them Across The Room", "Draco's Failed Attempt At Cooking", (that had been a nightmare), "Harry and Draco Take A Bath Together", and "Harry and Draco Go Grocery Shopping Together", to name a few. Let's just say Draco had gotten real good at working the video camera.

But there was one tape that had no label. It had been recorded the previous night before Ron and Hermione Weasley and their two children Rose and Hugo had came over for lunch. Harry was busy making tea and chatting with Hermione, and Draco was busy entertaining the children with, just guess: the video camera. Which left Ron all by his lonesome to explore the flat. And explore he did.

He came across a curious pile of obviously self-recorded tapes, and chuckled good-heartedly at the titles he saw. "Harry Is A Prat", "Draco Models The New Robes He Bought at Madam Malkin's", and his favorite, "Harry Surprises Draco In The Middle Of The Night In A Ninja Costume, Otherwise Known As Harry Is A Prat Part 2." That one had taken up two stick-on labels, and the handwriting looked rushed and wobbly, almost as if the writer had scrawled it out after being scared out of his wits.

The redhead frowned in confusion as he found the strange non-labeled tape. "That's weird," he mused, picking up the tape and examining both sides. "This one doesn't seem to have a name." Curiosity sparked, he slipped the mysterious videotape into the cassette player. Those few seconds before the video started would be the last few seconds Ron Weasley would live through unscarred. For the contents hidden inside were not for those with innocent eyes or the weak of heart. The tape started playing and-

'Draco squirmed restlessly on the bed, arms bound by metal shackles. Every movement the blonde made would make the chains rattle noisily as they scraped against the wooden headboard.

"Merlin, Harry, stop bloody…teasing me… and just get on with it already!" he snapped out impatiently.

"Just a second!" an unseen voice called out in the background.

"Harry, what in the world could be taking so long-are you videotaping this?" Draco cried.

"Yes I am." The brunette replied as a matter-of-factly.

"That's, that's just-" the Slytherin paused, struggling to find the right words to say. "Sexy," he finished lamely.

Suddenly Harry appeared on screen with video camera in hand, naked as the day he was born. He grinned, "It is, isn't it?"

Draco smirked, "Who knew the Saviour of The Wizarding World had so many kinks?"

Harry straddled the blonde on the bed and leaned over to whisper seductively in his ear, "Only for you, love." He was rewarded with a loud moan that escaped from Draco's pink lips.'

Ron quickly pressed the eject button on the cassette player, watching what he had thought was an innocent tape slide out of the slot. He stayed frozen in place for a few minutes, mouth opening and closing, and eyes blinking in disbelief as his poor, irreversibly damaged brain tried to make sense of what had just raped his unoffending eyes.

It was then that Harry and Draco both walked into the room, unaware that the poor redhead was in no mood to speak. Or do anything that required mental or physical labor, actually.

"Ron, you okay there?" Harry asked in concern, reaching out to touch his friend's shoulder.

Ron immediately moved away, staring at Harry with a mortified expression, eyes widened in a mixture of terror and disgust, mouth agape.

"W-Why," the redhead's voice was hoarse, "w-why…?"

"Why what?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Spit it out Weasley," Draco said, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.

Ron looked up at the ceiling and yelled, "WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?" and without waiting for a response, passed out cold, landing on the floor with a loud thud.

Hermione rushed into the room, along with Rose and Hugo.

Harry and Draco spun around quickly, "Um, you see-"

"Well the thing is-"

"I don't really know what happened-"

"He just kind of-"

"He just kind of fainted, didn't he?" Hermione finished, not at all surprised.

"Yeah," Harry said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hermione looked at Ron with a deadpan expression. "Typical," she muttered.

"Um, don't you think he needs medical attention-" Harry started to say, but Hermione cut him off briskly, shaking her head, her untamed curls bouncing around her shoulders.

"I'll take care of him," she said, and Levitated Ron out the door.

"Mommy, did Daddy faint again?" Rose asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes, Rose, Daddy did faint," Hermione said quickly, shaking her head in embarrassment.

"Sorry, Harry, lunch will have to wait for another time," she called out as she left.

"Daddy always passes out," Hugo grumbled as he walked out of the flat.

The door shut with a slam.

Harry looked at Draco with a bewildered expression. "What just happened?" He murmured.

Draco was about to answer, when he caught a glimpse of the tape that was still sticking out of the videocassette player out of the corner of his eye. 'Oh, that had better not be what I think it is,' he thought as he pulled the tape out. He stared at it, hoping that if he glared at the offending piece of plastic long enough, it would magically transform into something else. No such luck.

"Uh, Harry, I think this is what made the Weasel faint," he said uncertainly.

Harry walked over, took one look at the tape and said. "Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh'." Draco snapped. " You know, if you hadn't insisted that we videotape us having sex, this wouldn't have happened!" He stared icily at the brunette, hoping that if he stared hard enough, it would wipe that stupid look of Harry's face. Or burn a hole through it. No such luck there, either.

"Well? Do you have anything to say?" Draco asked, the epitome of anger.

Harry looked up at him then, a gigantic, retarded grin spitting his face. "Nope!" he said happily.

The blonde couldn't help but burst out laughing. I mean, who couldn't resist being happy when Harry looked like that? It was contagious.

Harry started chuckling as well, and the rest of the day was spent as a huge laugh-fest for the both of them.

Oh video cameras, how they loved them.

END

A/N:

choo: This is just the first part of my many part series! And if you're waiting for a biting, sarcastic comment from Banana, don't expect it! Because I don't know where she is right now…*looks around* It's kind of creepy not having her around to make me feel like an insignificant speck of dirt. c: Oh well, enjoy the fic, and I'm open to suggestions on what type of electronic device to do next! Read and review, please!

choo: Yeah, um. I found her. She's playing a video game. *pokes She might be dead. …Or dying. D: Oh well. *hangs up 'HELP WANTED' sign