So…this was supposed to be a drunken oneshot, but the beginning is already spanning four pages, so it'll be a short multi-chapter affair.

It may be a little boring at first, and I apologize for that (damn my gaudy writing). Chapter two will be more interesting- that's where the crack is born. : )

Notice the deterioration of the language as the story progresses- chapter two will also be a hell of a lot less flowery.

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Zelda sighed.

She had just come from a session with her advisors not so long ago. The meeting had not been a pleasant one- not by any standards other than those urged by royal protocol. Although the War was over and the kingdom of Hyrule was rich, beautiful and at peace again, there was clearly new political damage in the court. She could not help but notice that she had fallen from the graces of more than a few of those who had supported her previously, though she earnestly made the best decisions possible and ruled with a kind but strong hand.

Now, alone in the drawing room, she was able to recuperate and recount on the evening's events- much as she would rather not. But the arguments, accusations, and strong words circulated throughout her mind ceaselessly. She tried to divert her focus, staring into the fire, then to the window where outside, the sun was setting like a snuffed fire over the horizon.

When these sights failed her, she walked to the immense bookshelf and picked one at random. She wished that she had she had bothered to choose consciously- her tome was of ancient battle strategy. She quickly closed the book and pushed it into its spot on the shelf. She settled on fingering a crystal goblet, noticing how the last light of the day cast sparkles into its cut figure.

Several thoughts idly went through her head- mostly a combination of the stronger words of the evening and a particularly troubling section of a musical score played by a violinist during the morning meal that she was unable to completely forget. Together, they created a musical crescendo best for creating headaches.

The door creaked open. Tranquility interrupted, Zelda popped out of her trance and looked up.

"Evening, Princess," Link greeted her.

"Hello, Link." She replied warmly.

Link stood close to the half open door, one foot in the room, his hand on the knob. He shot Zelda a shy smile of recognition, and Zelda smiled in return. It was endearing to see that, despite lacking the grand and proper entrance technique that most who encountered the princess had mastered, he showed more respect and appreciation than any of them. "So," Link ventured, "How did it go?"

"It went very well, thank you." The pause afterward spoke volumes otherwise.

Link cocked an eyebrow as he closed the door behind him. "Surely. You don't seem very pleased, though."

At first Zelda said nothing, but ran her fingers slowly over the spines of the books. How could she explain the evening? Her chagrin was hot enough without extrapolation. "It could have been less….fruitful, I suppose," she finally admitted.

Link nodded, though he was still somewhat puzzled. He was still left without understanding of what the issue could be. But that she admitted her displeasure at all at least made the fact concrete. "I'm sorry it didn't go as you hoped," he said, at a loss for words otherwise.

Zelda nodded, but again said nothing. Her fingers continued to brush the spines of the books. As her fingers made their trail, they suddenly bumped into a particularly strange book- and stopped. The book was a very thick one- thousands of pages- and yet, it didn't feel heavy and solid as such would. In fact, it felt- hollow!

Curious, she pulled the book off the shelf. The book was heavy, but the consistency was weird- as though it were shifting! The cover read Veritas Venenum and was composed of thick brown leather.

Link noticed her fascination and walked over. "What is that?"

"Link, take this book," Zelda responded. "Does it feel strange to you?"

Link took it and shifted it in his hands. "Yeah, come to think of it, that is kind of strange." He turned it over. There were some stains on the back cover, same as the front, but otherwise nothing. "Perhaps it's enchanted?"

"No, I don't think so," Zelda replied, "Most of the enchanted books are kept in a secluded library in a restricted area of the castle, for safety. They wouldn't be in a social room. Besides, they emanate magical energy- usually you can see or feel it without aid." She peered at it carefully. "This one has very little energy at all. Less than a normal book."

"Maybe it's not a book at all!" Link teased. He finally opened the cover and flipped through a few pages. He then realized that there were only a few pages. The rest were glued together, and the inside of the pages cut away. Link swallowed his words just then- the book wasn't a book after all!

"It's a secret compartment!" Zelda exclaimed.

There was a bottle inside.

Zelda gently picked up the bottle and examined it. It was filled with a thick white liquid. There was a label on the bottle as well, though it was heavily faded. It read, Ch-t-au Ro-ni, ci 1-53 which led to more questions than answers. "What is this?"

"Let me see." Link took the bottle and peered at the label. Then he smiled as he shook the bottle, watching the liquid drain down the sides. "I'll be!" He said happily, "It's a bottle of Chateau Romani!" He looked at the label again. "Too bad the year isn't apparent."

"Chateau Romani?" Zelda inquired.

"Yeah, it's a strong drink that's served in town pubs. You haven't heard of this?"

"Not at all!"

"It's….well, it's a bit of a commoner's drink, since it's so crudely made. I wouldn't expect that anyone who could enjoy finer would have this." He smiled with relish. "It's malted, fermented cow's milk."

Zelda grimaced. She stared at the bottle of thick white liquid, and realized there were speckled lumps in it. "Why on earth would anyone want to drink this?"

"Well, it's powerful stuff….more potent than most drinks. Especially when aged, as this one appears to be. To put it bluntly, it's easier to get drunk off of."

"How do you know this?" Zelda asked, with a wry smile.

Link blushed in return. "I've, um, visited my fair share of pubs," he admitted. "But I didn't drink…well, usually not. Most of the time, I just went to see what people were doing- to pick up information, you see."

Zelda looked at the bookcase where the book and bottle had come from. "My father drank a lot. Mostly wine, though. I suppose it would only make sense that the bottle belonged to him, but why would he feel the need to hide a bottle of spirits in the library?" How many more books contained bottles of similar spirits? Is that why the crystal goblet rested in its place on the shelf?

"I remember, if people wanted to celebrate though, they usually got something fruitier. Mostly, I saw this stuff-" Link beckoned to the bottle in his hand- "ordered by the lonely old men and widows who needed to forget."

Zelda paused. She remembered that her father would always retire immediately after a wartime meeting. She gently took the bottle from Link's hands and stared sadly at it. This must have been what he was doing when he was alone.

Suddenly, she undid the thick clasp mechanism, opened the top, and took a swig.

Link was shocked. "Zelda, what are you doing?"

Zelda choked, and then responded. "I'm following in my father's footsteps." She gagged. "…They burn."

"Zelda, stop!" Link tried to grab the bottle from her, but she twisted it out of reach. "Look, this isn't something I can say to you often, but…." He threw his arms out in exasperation. "This is a terrible idea!"

"Yes, I know." Zelda responded simply.

Link slumped. "So why are you drinking it?"

"Because it's just the kind of night for drinking volatile liquids out of my bookcase." She took another swig, taking care to pinch her nose to block the stench.

Link grew worried. "Zelda, this is really dangerous! That bottle may be too concentrated to drink. Besides, you shouldn't drink alone."

Zelda stopped. "You're absolutely right." She finally handed him the bottle and smiled coyly. "Care to join me?"

Link looked from her, to the bottle, and then back again. "If I don't, you're going to keep drinking yourself, aren't you."

"That is precisely correct, sir." Zelda spat a white chunk back into the bottle. Her senses were already beginning to fade slightly. "However," she continued slyly, "If you were to join in, there would be less left for me to consume…and therefore less to be so concerned about."

Link frowned. He had never seen the calm, serene princess act so rashly before, even during dire times. Perhaps now that there was peace, she was finally able to let herself fall apart? At any rate, he didn't want to encourage this…..

Zelda handed him the bottle. "So, would you like to drink with me?"

….but he didn't have much of a choice now.

Defeated, Link swiped the bottle and took a long swig. Just as he brought the bottle up though, did he hunch over again and proceed to choke. "Fuck my gauntlets," he swore. "This stuff is rancid! It's far past it's expiration. The hops must be through the roof." He looked up at her. "You're crazy to drink this."

In response, Zelda took the bottle and took another drink. This one went down slightly easier- it still burned, but she found she could still breathe afterward.

She brought the bottle down. "Did you just say, 'fuck my gauntlets?'" she asked, giggling.

But, not before steadying her stance.

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