Today in the World News:

England was calmly driving to the World Conference with America in the passenger's seat chomping on a hamburger that was allegedly just purchased from McDonald's. As they made their way further

down the highway, another car comes into view in front of England's. France was fixing his hair in the side-view mirror and then blowing kisses at his reflection. England's temper flared at the sight of him

and he stomps on the accelerator, scaring America out of his wits. America screamed in panic as England grins and continues full speed ahead towards France's convertible. France was suddenly alerted

of the situation and he quickly tries to veer into the next lane where Russia was driving his monster truck with the three trembling Baltic countries: Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania, held captive in the back

seat. In an instant, France's and England's vehicles collided with Russia's. France's and England's cars were completely totaled while Russia's remained eerily unharmed. France is currently suing England

for $1,000 dollars in damages to his hair and Russia is suing Lithuania for absolutely no reason. Reporters are standing by to interview America but right now he is trying desperately to come between a

fistfight among England and France.