I used script format to frame the epilogues, so please excuse me!

Episode 14: Epilogues, Episodes, and Epic Puns

Deoxys: Hi there! This is the special behind the scenes episode of our show. We hope that you've enjoyed the story and that you now understand why Pokemon must take over the world. So you must realize that you're better off submitting to us and being obedient followers.

Mewtwo: (muffled) You could be a little more subtle.

Deoxys: Oh, sorry.

Mewtwo: (muffled) Just go with it. (Mumbles something the camera can't pick up)

Deoxys: Anyhow, we're here in Ysavvryl's yard, as she was nice enough to host this episode herself. It's got an old farmhouse with a red roof and lots of trees.

Mewtwo: (muffled) And poison sumac. (Grumbles again)

Deoxys: That too. Mewtwo's working on a machine that'll let us transport various guest stars here in a bit. For now, here's the first epilogue scene, of stuff that happened after the Legendary War was declared.

While it took Deoxys several Teleport jumps to get back home, he made it back to the old stone castle on his own. It had been around twenty days since they had left for Hearthome, but it felt it had been much longer that they'd been away. And a lot had happened since then too; he felt like a much different Pokemon. But he was glad to be back home all the same.

He drifted through the dark but cool halls for a while before coming to Mewtwo's lab. The door was open. As usual, he was working hard at something inside. After making sure nothing dangerous was set up, Deoxys went inside. "Hello? What're you doing?"

Mewtwo was at a table with nine Pokeballs scattered about. A laptop computer was sitting on the table, attached to various scanning devices. While it was busy analyzing data, Mewtwo was examining one of the balls himself. But he looked over as Deoxys came into the room. "Hello. I'm doing some preliminary research on an idea. Why are you here?"

Coming up to rest his arms on the table, he answered, "I wanted to come back."

He put the Pokeball he had down, causing the stars on the charm bracelet to jangle quietly. "But your title conflicts with what I'm planning on doing. You could have gone with any one of them; I'm sure they would have been happy to take you in."

"I know, but you're my father. I wanted to come back."

After a moment, he smiled. "If that's what you want... I do appreciate it."

"So what are you doing?"

Mewtwo picked up another one of the Pokeballs. "There's several things that I've connected into a possible way to cause the humans a lot of trouble. Pokeballs exert a sub-psychic influence on a Pokemon's mind, similar to that of a TM Case Player. This influence enforces obedience. The strength of that enforcement depends on two things: that the OT number matches the Trainer's ID number, and on the presence of Gym badges. If the Pokeball detects either of these, it compels the Pokemon connected to it to obey."

"How does it detect those things?"

"I'm working on figuring that out. Also, there are ways to subvert this influence. If you are a high level and the OT and ID numbers don't match, the influence is weak. Mew, and perhaps myself, seems to be immune or highly resistant to the obedience enforcement. And a Pokemon caught in depression or a Shadow-cursed berserk state is also highly resistant to the enforcement. Since the enforcement is dependant on the Pokeball's sensors and now the Pokemon's emotions, there may be a way to cancel it out. Perhaps even entirely."

Deoxys smiled at that thought. "That'll be a big help to lots of Pokemon."

"Yes. I had in mind the ones stuck in PC Storage. I need to do some research there as well, but it seems that they are frozen as computer data until their Trainer or some authority removes them. Some time ago, I remember hearing about a Bellsprout who was put into storage for ten years and was only pulled out upon its Trainer's death. There may be even more extreme cases."

"But if you could hack into the system, couldn't we free them?"

"We could, but they would still be linked to a Pokeball. We could release them, but that has to be done one at a time, which could take forever. And if we do release them, they might get caught again. No, I had something different in mind. If I could figure out a way to break the obedience influence and empower the Pokemon stuck in PC Storage, they would be a great help in our cause to ruin the human race."

"That would be amazing. Can I help?"

"Of course. Hmm." He glanced aside, then called a white box to him. "Here, this has some instructional CDs on computer skills. Teach yourself some and you can do some research on the Storage program."

"Okay!" He went to an unused computer and started his study.

Deoxys: That took a really long time to finish, but it was worth it. Mewtwo, have you got the machine running yet?

Mewtwo: I think so. I'm going to test it out. Here we go. (Presses buttons)

(After a massive flash of light, Giratina appears with a roar.)

Giratina: Argh, my eyes! What happened to my nice dark Distortion World? What's with all the green?

(Giratina disappears in another flash of light.)

Mewtwo: It works.

Deoxys: Um, we promised Ysavvryl that we wouldn't mess up the roses.

Mewtwo: Don't worry. I dropped him on the poison sumac.

Deoxys: ... He's going to be so mad at us.

Mewtwo: He's a Ghost Dragon. I think he resists Poison.

Deoxys: Is sumac considered Poison or Grass?

Mewtwo: Probably both. Now who's first on the guest list?

Deoxys: (checks notes) Let's see... Kyogre and Groudon.

Mewtwo: This'll be interesting. (Calls on Kyogre and Groudon)

Groudon: What the hell's going on? Can't a guy take a decent early-century nap... whoa, nice farmland.

(Weather turns very sunny, but nobody notices because it's August in the Midwest.)

Deoxys: Hi Groudon! We're interviewing people for our show.

Groudon: Is that so? Well I'll be happy to...

Kyogre: What in hell were you thinking, calling me here into this puddle?

(Weather turns very rainy, but nobody notices because it's August in the Midwest.)

Groudon: That's a duck pond, dimwit.

(Weather stays sunny.)

Deoxys: Um actually, geese and catfish live there. The ducks live over that way.

Kyogre: It's a stinking mud-filled puddle compared to the ocean!

(Weather stays rainy.)

Groudon: That's what makes this place so great!

Kyogre: You simple-minded fool! Nobody can live without water, so the ocean is supreme!

Groudon: As I've said a million times before, the planet is made up of rocks! So land is supreme!

Kyogre: I'd like to see you live without water!

Groudon: I'd love to if it got rid of the moronic Pokemon like you.

Kyogre: Oh Ground Pokemon are much greater morons that Water.

(Weather is hot and humid... in other words, perfectly normal.)

Mewtwo: Hey jerks, this is our show! (Presses a few buttons and sends them away.)

Deoxys: Um, we never got to ask the question from the reader.

Mewtwo: What was the question?

Deoxys: Um, (reads) asking what they thought of each other.

Mewtwo: It answered the question anyhow. Is there a single one we can bring out next?

Deoxys: Sure, how about... Celebi?

Celebi: Here I am!

Mewtwo: Your entrance is a little early.

Celebi: Is it? You just asked for me.

Mewtwo: Whatever. This is our extra episode and one of the fans has a question for you.

Celebi: Really? Well I might not be able to answer. I have to keep the timeline mostly intact.

Deoxys: I think it'll be okay. It says, 'Will you admit you smoke weed'?

Celebi: I was fighting a weed infestation! I already told everybody that. It was highly invasive in spreading habits and it had a devastating effect among the populace both Pokemon and human. I had to stop it before it acquired its fast spreading gene.

Mewtwo: But you were intoxicated the day of my trial.

Celebi: It was a nasty thing to fight and a hard won battle. Plus I don't normally look to destroy a plant's progress.

Mewtwo: It might have helped if you hadn't used Hidden Power Fire on it.

Celebi: Oh shut up! (Vanishes)

Deoxys: Maybe you shouldn't have said that.

Mewtwo: It's probably the truth. She's got a pretty strong HP score.

Deoxys: No, I mean there's a vine growing in your machine now.

Mewtwo: Ah shoot. Give me a bit; I'll get it cleared.

Deoxys: I hope that's not her invasive weed... anyhow, we'll just play another epilogue now.

Mew was back doing studio work. No matter what happened, she loved singing. So full of life... in some ways, she couldn't believe that she had a hand in inciting a war between humans and Pokemon. But Mewtwo was right about some things. Humans had grown powerful and careless. It was time to remind them why their ancestors depended on and feared Pokemon.

Using her image of Glitter Glameow again, she pulled the headphones off her ears. "What do you think of that?"

"That's a beautiful pop ballad you've written," her manager replied. "I'm a little surprised that it sounds like you're speaking of your love for two guys, though. After the fuss you put up over some past songs."

"It's because I do love those guys," she said, smiling warmly. "They're my son and grandson."

"Wh-what? Glitter, you're just nineteen... that's right, isn't it?"

Giggling, she tweaked the flow of aura so he and others listening forgot about the 'my son and grandson' bit. "That's right, I'm just nineteen. It's no problem."

"Right. Are you going to let your image mature finally?"

"Ma-aybe," she teased.

And ma-aybe her new album would have some subliminal signals on it, calling any Pokemon listener to strive for independence and respect. Just maybe.

Deoxys: Yeah, that's where the title of our show comes from, Glitter Glameow's song about us. Well Mew's song, but you know. I heard Ysavvryl thought about adding bits of it, but decided against it.

Mewtwo: Good thing too, since she's only a mediocre poet.

Deoxys: Aw come on. She put up with you for the entire season, so you ought to treat her kinda nice.

Mewtwo: She's still human. Anyhow, I've got the vine problem fixed. Who's our next guest?

Deoxys: Hmm... Latias... wait, who's that?

Mewtwo: Latias, female twin to Latios. Psychic-Flying, a pink roaming legend of the third generation. That's who she is.

Deoxys: When did she show up?

Mewtwo: She was at the trial, but didn't have a speaking line on the show. Unfortunately, that means I can't call her with this machine. What was the question?

Deoxys: It was... 'Why is that Mist Ball is a useless attack?'.

Mewtwo: Because it is. Who's the next actual guest?

Deoxys: (looks at list) There's one for 'random TG grunts'

Mewtwo: Sure, why not? We can always use them as cannonballs if they get uppity.

Deoxys: Don't you mean cannon fodder?

Mewtwo: If I say cannonballs, I mean cannonballs. (Presses buttons and brings in two blue haired Galactic grunts). Not that you really had to say what they looked like.

Grunt (M): What gives? Don't tell me they've got the teleport pads malfunctioning again.

Mewtwo: Then I won't tell you that. Now, you're going to answer a question and you're going to answer it well. Otherwise, I have free reign to drop you at any point in the world I choose.

Grunt (F): Why're we being ordered around by a Pokemon? We follow a living god! If you don't respect him, he'll smite you where you stand.

Mewtwo: Giovanni can do a lot of crazy ****, but he can't do that.

Grunt (F): I'm talking about Cyrus, not that washed up old Rocket.

Mewtwo: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm real frightened of Cyrus. Deoxys, give them the question.

Deoxys: Right. It's 'Why are you so stupid and expendable?'.

Grunt (M): You dragged us all the way out here to ask that?

Grunt (F): We are not stupid and expendable! We have given our lives and fortunes over to the holiest man on Earth, Cyrus, and we will do anything to make his visions of an ideal life and society real. We are the only perfect society around, which makes us above petty laws and close-minded morals. And when our glorious leader is finally recognized for what he is, we will become his immortal and glorious servants.

Mewtwo: Right, thank you for answering the question.

Grunt (F): I was not answering the question! I was showing how faulty the reasoning behind it was.

Grunt (M): You could have just said it was a stupid question. And a stupid reason for bringing us here.

Mewtwo: And just what were you doing before this? Goofing off on your job of guarding a particular cavern when you have no clue why it needs to be guarded, but suspect some kind of unprintable encounter is going on back there?

Grunt (M): ... no comment.

Mewtwo: And for my own curiosity, why do you call Cyrus the holiest man on Earth? He's fricking insane.

Grunt (M): You just can't understand the true depth and complexity of his mind. Neither can I, mind you, but I still believe in him.

Grunt (F): We follow him because he's sexy.

Grunt (M): What?

Grunt (F): Aw come on, admit it. You joined Galactic because you were drawn in by his irresistible aura. It's the blue hair, I tell you, although this dud doesn't pull it off half as well as our glorious leader.

Grunt (M): Uummm, errrr... no comment.

Mewtwo: Fine, I've had enough of you two. Goodbye. (Presses some buttons)

Deoxys: Where did you send them?

Mewtwo: Into Cyrus' personal quarters. Who's the next guest?

Deoxys: Well... hey, there's a question for you!

Mewtwo: Good. Ask away.

Deoxys: It's... oh, should I ask this?

Mewtwo: Get on with it.

Deoxys: If you insist... 'How have you gotten thinner? You don't do any physical work...'.

Mewtwo: Seriously? That's the only question for me?

Deoxys: Looks like it.

Mewtwo: It's because I do a lot of mental work. If you don't think that is tough, you've never picked up a nuclear sub with only your thoughts and tossed it seventy-five yards. It's very draining being a Psychic Pokemon. Just look at all the rest; they're small or thin.

Deoxys: What about Hypno? They're a tad bulky.

Mewtwo: Only a tad and they focus on hypnosis skills. That's not as much work as doing a full-blown scan of somebody's mind. I bet if you taught a Snorlax Telekinesis and managed to get it to do so regularly, it would lose weight at an astounding speed. Then again, the thought of what a Snorlax would look like after losing all its fat... ugh.

Deoxys: And Metagross weighs over a ton.

Mewtwo: They're part Steel.

Deoxys: Um, I'd rather not change the subject, but I think Celebi just rusted out your machine.

Mewtwo: Drat. Run another one of the epilogues, although this shouldn't take long to fix.

Giovanni walked along the halls of the Sinnoh Elite Four Hall. Lucien followed a step behind him, obviously unnerved by his presence. However, the psychic master had no chance of knowing that he was the leader of the former Team Rocket. Opal was very useful once he'd learned how to use the gem. That and other technologies kept his most dangerous enemies and allies from divining his plans.

Lucien didn't trust him completely because of that, though. "Leo, I appreciate your help, but if you could be a bit clearer on why you're willing to help the Sinnoh League. You aren't from this region."

The fact that he was wearing a reddish wig and had dyed any of his own hair to match helped disguise his true identity. "I understand that it's not your fault that your League is having some trouble continuing to run. It takes a lot of money to keep Gyms afloat. And I understand that giving young people goals helps them develop into better adults. Thus, it is no trouble."

"There's still some people arguing the minimum age of sixteen is unfair and unreasonable, though."

"Changes like that will be fought. They will come to see the sense of it."

Lucien thought he was Leo. The leader of the joint Kanto-Johto League thought he was Gemini. And others thought he was someone else entirely. However, he was stealing control of them all slowly. With a great many underworld organizations under his command, it was easy enough to push these legitimate groups into needing his assistance.

Control over the world wasn't won by brute force. It was won by careful manipulation and legal traps. However, he still needed a powerful force to keep any he did control in line. He lost the Pokemon he had wanted. But he would have them again, someday.

Deoxys: (quietly) Um guys, don't tell Mewtwo that Giovanni got his own epilogue. He won't like that.

Mewtwo: (muffled) What?

Deoxys: Nothing. Well, nothing but the fact that we're back on.

Mewtwo: I've got it running again, but we should be careful of taking much longer. Who else have we got?

Deoxys: There's several questions for the three beasts.

Mewtwo: I don't know if I want to be bringing them all here. They still don't like me.

Deoxys: Well one is just for Entei.

Mewtwo: It's always the Fire types that are popular... except for Slugma. Fine, let's bring Entei in. (Presses buttons)

Entei: Celebi says that your breath is worse than a Gyarados' after it's eaten a Carvahna.

Mewtwo: Well isn't that nice? I wasn't the one who asked the question in the first place.

Deoxys: Wouldn't those tough scales cause indigestion?

Mewtwo: I wouldn't know. You've got some questions to answer, Entei.

Entei: As long as they're not from you.

Deoxys: They're from the readers. Okay, here's the first one: 'How did you grow your beard?'.

Entei: You like it? I'm very proud of it, you know, when I manage to keep it intact.

Deoxys: Wouldn't you burn it when using any of your Fire skills?

Entei: I'm very careful about it. Luckily, I don't drool embers like some other Fire types. I can keep it detangled with my claws if I take my time. But it's worth it. I could win those Contests easily with this handsome mane. That wouldn't give a chance to the mortal Pokemon, though, so I stay out of it.

Mewtwo: (mutters) Not that that is much to brag about.

Deoxys: That's nice. Okay, then... somebody has two questions. 'Are you gerbils, dogs, or cats? And what Pokemon were you before you were killed in a fire and resurrected by Ho-oh?'

Entei: We're Pokemon, duh.

Mewtwo: Yes, but are you canine, feline, or rodent? Most people would call me a feline hominoid, although I find that to be a grave insult.

Entei: Just Pokemon. Some people have called us beasts. I think that's what Ysavvryl uses. So, beasts.

Deoxys: And what about before the fire?

Entei: I don't know. I don't remember and Ho-oh was too upset to identify the remains.

Mewtwo: (smirking) I'd bet you were Rattatas.

Entei: (furious) What was that?

Mewtwo: It's not important if you don't remember it. There was another question for them, wasn't there?

Deoxys: Um, yes. It was addressed to a whole bunch of people, but could you answer it for everybody?

Entei: I think so. I hope I don't offend anyone. Like somebody around here (glares at Mewtwo).

Deoxys: Me either. Okay, it's, 'What was it like to be Shadow Pokemon'?

Entei: ...

Deoxys: What?

Entei: We don't discuss it with strangers. It is a horrid curse and if I ever run into one of those Cipher people again, I'll disembowel them alive.

Deoxys: Ew.

Mewtwo: And here you were trying to stop me from causing war. Hypocrite.

Entei: (growls) Watch yourself. I might not be able to kill you, but I can... (interrupted as Mewtwo sends him away)

Mewtwo: Right then. Who do we have left?

Deoxys: Let me see. There's one for Cresselia, two for Darkrai, and three for Arceus.

Mewtwo: Well let's hurry along. We're already at ten pages and there's one more epilogue left.

Deoxys: But this has been mostly script format, so... (sees Mewtwo's impatience) okay.

Mewtwo; I have a feeling... (presses buttons)

Cresselia: (grumpy) Who's calling me out to the middle of the day... oh, it's you two. What're you up to now?

Mewtwo: The readers of our show have a question for you. Go on.

Deoxys: Here's what a fan wants to know... um, it's got a text thingy. How do I pronounce that?

Mewtwo: Very carefully.

Deoxys: I'll give it a try... 'Won't you admit you 3 Darkrai already?'

Cresselia: What was that question about?

Mewtwo: You have a crush on Darkrai; admit it.

Cresselia: What? No, I don't! I cause sweet dreams and he's the king of nightmares... ugh. I can't stand him.

Darkrai: But you are the sweetest dream of them all, my little crescent wedgie.

Cresselia: Gah! (Teleports away)

Mewtwo: 'Crescent wedgie?' Really?

Darkrai: Don't make fun of the loving nicknames a man gives to his sweetie dreamheart. She'll acknowledge me one of these days.

Mewtwo: Dream on. Anyhow, if you don't mind hanging around a bit longer, the readers have some questions for you.

Darkrai: Well I greatly dislike this Midwestern sun, but I'll hang around for a bit, as you say.

Deoxys: O-okay. The first question is... 'Why is it that I picture you with a Southern accent and cowboy hat?'

Darkrai: What's that supposed to mean?

Mewtwo: Exactly what it says.

Darkrai: Well, hmm... the tan hats don't really fit my image. But those black ones are pretty sweet. I wouldn't mind wearing one of those. Oo, and I love Southern food. Seafood gumbo, cornbread, chitlins...

Deoxys: What's chitlins?

Mewtwo: Fried pig intestines.

Deoxys: That's gross.

Mewtwo: Not as gross as haggis. (Notices Deoxys is about to ask about that) Sheep stomach stuffed with oats and other things, then boiled for an absurdly long time.

Deoxys: People eat stuff like that?

Darkrai: And sweet tea... and Texas chili. The hotter the chilies, the better. Maybe I picked something up at all those late night cookouts.

Mewtwo: You hang out at late night cookouts?

Darkrai: Of course. There's great food and the humans are usually drinking beer, so it's entertaining to see what their drunken sleeping minds come up with. That's where my best material comes from.

Mewtwo: And possibly the origin of your nicknaming skills. What was the other question from the readers?

Deoxys: They really eat stuff like that? Oh, sorry, the reader questions... it's, 'Why do you own so much?'

Darkrai: That question makes no sense.

Mewtwo: That's one of the simpler ones; how does it not make sense?

Darkrai: Well I don't care how many things I own. I haven't been able to claim Cresselia's heart and without that, it all means nothing. I'm just a lonely nightmare chasing some wild dream and I'm getting nowhere. People say I'm terrible, but I know more than anyone else how much love hurts. I don't care about anything else.

Mewtwo: ... I think that's about how good you are in battle, especially competitive. You could snap your fingers at any one of us Psychic legends and knock us down like cardboard cutouts. At the same time, very few legends have the Fighting capacity to counter you properly. Which is why you should be able to simply knock her out cold in one shot and take her captive.

Darkrai: I'm not doing that to my darling Cresselia! Why would I want to cause her pain? That is one other thing that keeps me away from humans, as those infernal Pokeballs would make me hurt my dreamheart. I'm not desperate enough to do that to her. Although I can't even get her to come with me on a blind date... she always guesses that it's me... (sobs)

Deoxys: Aw... hang on a moment.

It was a quiet day at the Cerulean Pokecenter. Nurse Joy wasn't expecting any rush for a few hours. While there might always be a stray traveler coming in for a healing, the center wouldn't be busy by a long shot. It was Tuesday, after all.

At least, it shouldn't have been busy.

Over in the corner, there was a row of computers, available for use by any Trainer who needed them. Near them was a machine that allowed Pokemon to be stored via the virtual Storage system. The only thing it did when not in use was hum. It did not beep repeatedly, as it began to do out of the blue.

It was probably broken, she thought. And it would be expensive to fix. Sighing, she left her position behind the counter to check on it. Before she made it out, a red light came from the device, releasing a large bipedal tree with faces on its five fruits. It shook its broad green leaves and looked at her.

Nurse Joy stopped, uncertain of what to do. Normally she wouldn't be afraid of an Exeggcutor, but normally she knew when to expect it. Something was wrong today.

The Exeggcutor walked off, but as soon as it did, the machine spit out three more Pokemon, a Hariyama, a Ponyta, and a Seedot. Like the one before them, the Pokemon looked at her, then walked out the front door. And it happened again, three more escaping the PC Storage system. From the lights of the machine gone bright scarlet, this was going to continue for some time.

Alarmed and confused, the nurse pressed the alarm trigger hidden under the counter. It was only supposed to be used in case of violence. However, she wanted help and she wanted it now.

On a rooftop facing the Pokecenter, Mewtwo and Deoxys watched the escaping Pokemon. "So there they go," the elder said. "Free to live their own lives and fight against the human race."

"What if they don't fight?" Deoxys asked.

He shrugged. "I know some won't, but enough should to leave an impression. And these Pokemon can't be recaptured by any means."

"I've got you now!" a female voice called out from the top of the roof. A young woman with red hair stood up there. "You'll get it for... huh?"

Mewtwo waved at her, as did Deoxys a moment later. "Greetings, Leader Misty," Mewtwo said with mock politeness. "Did you notice the stray Pokemon in the streets? You can't touch them."

"It's you again?" Misty asked. "You're threatening my Gym?"

"I wasn't expecting you to hold onto that position for so long," he taunted. "After all, you were always traveling away from this place."

"What are you up to?"

"We've declared war on mankind. I'll demonstrate how seriously I'm taking it this time." He snapped his fingers. The Cerulean Gym blew up.

Misty's jaw dropped as a column of black smoke obliterated any signs of how badly the building was demolished. The shockwave jarred her bones and the act jarred her soul. "How could you?" she asked, unable to think clearly.

"Easily. Good luck cleaning the mess up." He and Deoxys teleported away.

The Legendary War was finally fought in the open.

Deoxys: Don't worry, I made sure that everybody got out of the building before the explosion.

Mewtwo: That was the only way he'd agree to it. So, Darkrai left to find some party to distract himself with. And we've got our last guest with us, Arceus.

Arceus: Right.

Mewtwo: So, you wound up with the most questions. Probably because you don't grant interviews that often.

Deoxys: Then we're lucky. Okay, here's the first: 'Why are you so sleepy?'

Arceus: I've got the Meadow Plate. In a sunny spot. It's so relaxing.

Mewtwo: Yes, but how did you sleep quietly when you were right in front of Darkrai at the trial? Most people can't sleep peacefully within a mile of Darkrai's presence.

Arceus: I'm a thespian.

Deoxys: A what?

Arceus: An actor. I am a mask, playing my part in the moment when it is needed.

Deoxys: So, when are yourself?

Arceus: I'm a mask. I'm myself when being used.

Mewtwo: You're quite welcome to that job. I wouldn't accept it for anything.

Arcues: Thank you.

Deoxys: All right, if you like it. Next question: 'What is your opinion on the ? Plate?'.

Arceus: Which one is that?

Mewtwo: The one of the ? type.

Arceus: It is unknown to me.

Deoxys: You know, you're not nearly as interesting as the rest.

Arceus: I am a mask.

Deoxys: Um, you already said that... anyhow, last question. 'Who would win in a fight: Arceus or Baal?' Uh, who's Baal?

Mewtwo: An ancient god of Mesopotamia that was worshiped by several cultures. In the Judea-Christian culture, Baal is a devil who eats babies.

Deoxys: Okay, that's even more gross than haggis or chitlins.

Mewtwo: Also, in the video game series Disgaea, Baal is an uber-boss who sometimes takes form of a Prinny.

Deoxys: And what...?

Mewtwo: A Prinny is a blue penguin that is known for its humor and its ability to explode upon being thrown.

Deoxys: So, a Piplup hacked to know Explosion?

Mewtwo: With the same stats as a legendary, close enough.

Deoxys: That's pretty scary. What do you think, Arceus?

Arceus: Spooky Plate. I win.

Mewtwo: Baal knows more than Explosion. And he's not a Pokemon, so he doesn't have a specific type. But then again, since he doesn't have a specific type, he wouldn't have elemental boosts. You also have to consider how items and equipment work differently in an SRPG. It's like using a Monopoly piece in chess. That's a difficult battle to call without hosting it.

Deoxys: Well since this show was originally hosted on a Pokemon website, I say Arceus wins simply by being the central fandom.

Mewtwo: ... good point.

Deoxys: So then, that's it... I guess.

Mewtwo: I thought there was another question.

Deoxys: I'm pretty sure there were only the questions for Arceus left after we had to deal with Darkrai.

Arceus: Check again.

Deoxys: (looks at notes) Oh hey, I've got a question! I didn't notice it earlier. Let's see... 'Deoxys, are there any stories like this coming out in the future, which are clearly not propaganda efforts to brainwash the masses into submission and clearly are efforts to inform an unaware public of the true version of the historical Pokemon canon?'. Uuhhhhh...

Mewtwo: That's quite a difficult question. They must respect you a lot in order to ask it of you and not anybody else.

Deoxys: (blushes) Well, I'll give it a try. Um... if you mean stories like this by Ysavvryl, I hear she has something called 'The Bride of Darkrai'. It's supposed to be a one-shot, or something like that, that's sort of connected to this story. I didn't quite understand what she meant by that, but it's about Darkrai. Wait, I didn't know that he was married. Who's he married to?

Arceus: You don't want to know.

Deoxys: But that makes me want to know even more. I guess I'll wait until I read that story. She was also talking about doing something with the Legendary War, but that it would be incredibly complex and not quite as crack-y, so she wasn't sure if she would start it.

Mewtwo: Don't worry. Talking to authors is confusing.

Deoxys: I know. Anyhow, that's the last question. I guess this is the end of the episode and the show. So, um, I had lots of fun and stuff, and I hope you all loved it! Thanks to the Serebii forum readers Treeconator11, mattman324, and Son_of_Shadows for today's questions. Anything you want to say, Mewtwo?

Mewtwo: Yes. There are no subliminal messages in this post.

Deoxys: What? But what about...?

Mewtwo: Just go with it.

THE END

And that's that.

The reason why a story of the Legendary War would be more complex and less of a crackfic is due to all the things I established here: the extreme power levels of the Hands of the Original One, the existence of guns/missiles/nuclear subs/nuclear weapons/etc., Shadow Pokemon (because Giovanni mentions Greevil), obedience-resistance Pokemon (caused by Mewtwo), genetic engineering, super science, and of course Giovanni himself. I'm not an action-oriented writer, so managing the balance (or imbalance) of power into a story with interesting personalities... well that's a bit more effort than I want to put in a fanfic. Maybe an original story, but not a fanfic.

I mentioned 'The Bride of Darkrai' mainly because it goes more into that love-hate relationship my versions of Darkrai and Cresselia have.

And yes, August in midwestern USA is like you have Groudon and Kyogre out at once...