CHAPTER 17

Once Starsky was alert, his recovery progressed quickly. He soon regained most of his strength and the weight that he had lost. The doctor was pleasantly surprised when he saw him for his checkup. He took him off most of his meds, except some mild pain medication for his broken leg which still ached, especially at night. The physical therapy sessions started that same week to help him regain his mobility and his muscle tone. Since they had both been injured so many times in the line of duty, Hutch already knew most of the therapy exercises Starsky had to do so he could do them at home to help speed up that process. Starsky still hadn't talked much about his ordeal but Hutch knew that would come in time.

Hutch had already told Starsky his part of the story, about the plane crash and how everyone was led to believe that he was dead. About the mysterious package that had arrived at headquarters with his personal possessions in it that had sent Hutch to New York for answers and about Joe Durniak's part in his eventual rescue. He told Starsky about Gunther being behind the whole thing and how Ben Forest had been the highest bidder.

Privately, he told Starsky about Nick's part in the whole sordid affair. Starsky was hurt but not really that surprised to find out that his brother had been a part of his abduction and torture. He told Hutch that Nick had been the one who called the cab for him that morning but when they arrived, instead of taking him to the airport, the driver had taken him to a deserted warehouse where he had been overpowered by four men and drugged. Although neither Gunther nor Forest had ever been mentioned by name, over the following months, Starsky had come to realize that these four men were just hired muscle. Men who had been hired for their viciousness and willingness to torture another human being.

Even after Starsky started to recover, Hutch still continued to share a bed with him at night. Mainly because he woke up night after night with violent nightmares that left him shaking and disoriented. It would take Hutch a long time to get him calmed back down so that they could go back to sleep. Hutch knew that the nightmares would lesson their grip on his mind if Starsky talked about the specifics of what he'd gone through but he also knew he couldn't push it. Starsky would tell him in his own time and his own way what he had been through but not until he was ready.

That time came almost three weeks after Starsky regained alertness. He'd had a hard day at therapy and his muscles were sore and aching. He'd gone to bed early that evening, only to be awakened shortly after midnight with another nightmare. Unable to coax him back to sleep, Hutch had suggested they get up and make some hot chocolate to try and relax Starsky enough to go back to sleep.

Hutch was standing at the stove with his back to Starsky, stirring the milk in the pan as it heated, when he heard Starsky say in a soft, shaky voice, "They hurt me, Hutch. They hurt me bad."

"I know, buddy. I know." Hutch replied, the tightness in his shoulders the only visible sign of how deeply those simple words affected the big blond. He poured out two cups of hot chocolate and turned to his partner. He sat one down in front of Starsky, then took a seat facing him. "Wanna talk about it?" Hutch asked quietly, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

Starsky stared down into his cup as if he could find the answers there. Finally, he sighed softly and said "At first I thought they were going to kill me right away but they didn't, they just tied up my hands and feet so I couldn't fight back and roughed me up a little. They kept telling me I was going to die but not for a long time that I had to suffer first…." Starsky raised pain filled eyes to meet Hutch's gaze steadily "At first I told myself that you'd come looking for me when you realized I wasn't on the plane….I didn't know they blew up the plane….or put a ringer on it pretending to be me."

"Yeah…they did a good job of making it look like you died in that crash." Hutch admitted, "They wanted to make sure that nobody came looking for you."

"They broke my leg that first day." Starsky said, closing his eyes as he let the painful memories wash over him. This mother the size of a mountain stomped on it until it broke. It hurt so goddamn bad…..I got pretty sick from it, started running a really high fever. I knew it never healed right….."

"Starsk….I'm sorry….I didn't…." Hutch said, feeling guilty and ashamed that Starsky had been through so much before he found him.

"It's not your fault, blintz." Starsky said with a touch of sadness in his voice "You didn't know….they made sure of that. And when you did…you came after me."

"But not in time…."

"You came in time to keep me from dying." Starsky reminded him "That's the important thing."

"Barely." Hutch muttered remembering how close to death Starsky had been when he found him.

"They beat me every day….sometimes it was just their fists and their feet…but other times they used a belt….or a chain….once they used a baseball bat." Starsky's voice had taken on a soft, childlike quality as he remembered more and more of his torture and his eyes had darkened with sadness and remembered pain.

"What else did they do?" Hutch asked, not really wanting to hear the answer but knowing that Starsky needed to get it all out.

"They hardly ever gave me any food or water and even when they did….it was usually stale or starting to go bad. I finally stopped eating because I just tossed it back up again. Sometimes they put salt in the water just to make me sick. They thought it was funny." There was a visible tremble in his hand as he picked up his cup and took a sip of his hot chocolate. Hutch waited patiently for him to go on. "This one guy got off on cutting me with a knife or burning me with his cigarettes. This other guy just liked to hear me scream and he'd do whatever he had to until I did…." A slight tremor ran through his entire body and he sighed deeply "After a while, I stopped caring what they did to me…cause no matter what they did it hurt….it hurt so damn bad."

He raised his head and locked eyes with Hutch, his sapphire orbs brimming with tears "I used to call your name, Hutch…. Beg for you to come and get me before it was too late…but as more time went by and you didn't come….I stopped caring….I stopped hoping….." He lowered his eyes but not before Hutch saw the tears falling down his cheeks as Starsky admitted that he had given up hope.

Instinctively, Hutch reached out to grab Starsky's hand, trying to give him as much comfort as he could, to reassure him that it was over now and he was safe. Starsky flinched and pulled his hand away but Hutch knew that the dark haired man wasn't rejecting his comfort; he just couldn't deal with it and his memories too. "Tell me the rest, Starsk…" Hutch insisted, "Get it all out and we'll deal with it…..together…just like always."

"I thought you forgot about me, Hutch…." Starsky said in a forlorn voice that ripped at the big blond's heart. "I thought everybody forgot about me….and left me in hell by myself…."

Hutch jumped to his feet and to his friend's side, pulling him tightly into his embrace. He felt Starsky's shoulders shaking as he buried his face against Hutch's stomach and wrapped his arms tightly around the big blond's waist. Hutch felt his own tears falling down his face as he held Starsky while he finally gave way to his own tears and grief. It took a long time for the smaller man to finally regain his composure.

Kneeling in front of him, Hutch gently cupped his cheek with his hand and forced the dark haired man to look at him. "Is there more?" he asked gently

"I don't remember much at the end." Starsky told him in a tightly controlled voice "I just remember giving up…..and wanting it to be over…."

"It is over now, Starsk. It's all over….you're safe now and nobody is gonna hurt you anymore. I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt you again." Hutch told him with a grim determination. He smiled faintly "You wanna go back to bed now?"

Starsky nodded his head without replying. Hutch pushed the wheelchair back to the bedroom they were sharing and helped his friend into back into bed. Exhausted, Starsky fell asleep within minutes but for Hutch, sleep was a long time coming. He had heard the torment in Starsky's voice; he had felt his loss of hope. Hutch had experienced his pain. And he felt overwhelmed with grief and guilt. He had failed to protect his best friend and his partner. And Starsky had come close to dying yet again because of Hutch's failures. As he finally drifted off to sleep, he swore he would never let that happen again. He would not fail to protect Starsky the next time.

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Rachel smiled as she watched David and Hutch sitting side by side at the kitchen table eating the cake she had baked for them. It had been almost three months since Hutch had come to New York and told her that David was still alive. He was almost back to his old self again. The cast on his leg would come off in a few weeks and then he would be returning to Bay City with Hutch. Rachel would miss him terribly but she knew that his life was in California now, not in New York with her. And she knew that as long as he was with Hutch, he would be safe. The tall blond had once again shown just how much he cared for her son and the lengths he would go to in order to protect him.

David still had nightmares about his ordeal but not as often as he did in the beginning. His mental injuries were recovering as well as his physical ones. Rachel knew that Nick had returned to New York He had called her to tell her that he was okay and to give her his new address. After some heavy coaxing on her part, Hutch had finally revealed everything Joe Durniak had told her about Nick's part in what had happened to his brother. Rachel had made it painfully clear to her youngest son that she did not want to see him, not just yet, and that she was aware of his part in David's abduction. True to his nature, Nicky tried to downplay his part in the whole affair and tried to shift the blame to everyone else.

Rachel had also made a private call to Joe Durniak to thank him for helping Hutch to find David. The old gang boss was gracious and courteous as usual. He assured her that all the men responsible had been taken care of and that he would continue to 'watch over' Rachel once David and Hutch returned to Bay City. He also informed her that he would be 'watching' Nicky and that he was working for one of Joe's businesses. Rachel knew how to read between the lines, she knew that Joe would make sure Nick realized the error of his ways when it came to family loyalty.

Rachel smiled when she heard David laugh at something Hutch had said. It felt so good to hear his laugh again. For six months, she had mourned her oldest son's 'death' and then had him returned to her in the most unexpected way. She cherished the second chance she had been given to spent this time with her eldest son. She knew that she was indeed blessed to have him with her.

"Hey, Ma…" David called to her "This cake is great!"

"Just don't spoil your appetite for supper." She called back "I'm making the Paul Muni Special tonight with Blintzs for dessert."

"Hear that, baby blue…" Starsky teased Hutch "You're the dessert for tonight." Rachel joined in their laughter as the three of them enjoyed the peaceful, quiet afternoon at home.