wow, i dunno why i never uploaded this, i just found it and it was finished around the same time as ch.2 haha.. (sorry?)

btw, i'm pretty much done with fanfiction, i just haven't felt motivated anymore to write my stories, so don't be expecting too many chapters. To tell you the truth, i kind of forget what i was planning for this story anyway :/ details after the story! enjoy!

"There was never a genius without a tincture of madness." -Aristotle

Chapter 3

"Holy Frond," Holly couldn't help but whisper in her helmet. "They knew I was here. They can read minds. They're- they're vampires! Foaly, have you found anything yet?"

"My hands are still typing away looking up everything they can, but I think my mind has gone into shock. If that vampire were to read it right now, he wouldn't hear a thing," came the centaur's reply. "Oh wait, I think I'm getting something. Yeah, I think I'm over the surprise. Now get out of there pronto, Holly!"

"Artemis and I are going to have a little chat," Holly said darkly. She followed the two humans out of the Cullen's property, not listening to the rest of Foaly's mindless babble.

00000

"I am terribly sorry Mother, but the video call function doesn't seem to be working- I have no idea why," Artemis insisted, his highly advanced cell phone pressed against his ear. "But I assure you, Mother, we are enjoying ourselves immensely. This alpine resort is beautiful."

"I don't know what you're up to right now, Arty, but- just stay safe, OK?" Angeline Fowl told him.

"You know I will, Mother," Artemis said. "How could I not be, with Butler by my side?"

"All right," Angeline sighed. "Goodbye, darling."

"Have fun with Father, Mother." By the time he hung up, he and Butler were almost at the mansion already.

"Is it really alright with you to lie to Mrs. Fowl?" Butler asked, looking at him through the rear-view mirror.

"No, actually it is not," Artemis said, his brow furrowed as though he really was being bothered by something. "I feel terrible about it, but I'm afraid it's necessary."

His bodyguard frowned. "The way you were speaking on the phone- and the way you're speaking now- it seems a bit strange. Is there something wrong, Artemis?"

Artemis's muscles tensed involuntarily, though he tried his best to fight it.

"It's... nothing, Butler." Artemis paused and then added, "I'm fine." Though Butler didn't question him any further, Artemis couldn't shake off his feeling of nervousness. He opened and closed his phone five times, just for good luck, and by the time they reached the mansion, he felt perfectly fine again.

Butler checked the surroundings several times quickly before opening the car door for his principal. Artemis stepped out, looking incredibly preoccupied. Then, as if remembering something, his head snapped up and looked behind them.

"Ah, I apologize, Captain Short," he said suddenly. "I nearly forgot about you."

"Nice greeting," the heat haze replied. Captain Holly Short appeared seemingly out of thin air and landed on the ground. She immediately wished she hadn't. Up close, Artemis seemed sicklier than ever, and now it was both Mud Men that towered over her. She removed her helmet so she could glare at the younger one properly.

She turned to Butler with a smile. "Hey, Butler. How you doing?"

Butler chuckled. "Oh, the usual, as you can see. Chasing vampires across the globe, nothing extraordinary."

"Are you not curious as to how I knew you were there, Captain?" Artemis asked her.

"Did you want me to hear all that, then?" Holly asked him suspiciously, whipping back to him. "Is this all some fancy practical joke, Fowl?"

"You thought that it was?" Artemis said, amused. He vaguely realized he was talking in fives again. He'd thought he'd gotten rid of the habit, but it appeared to have resurfaced during his conversation with his mother. "Come, let's enter the house. You, Captain, have my permission."

Assured that she wasn't going to vomit on her shoes from entering without the owner's consent, she followed her two human friends into the mansion.

Artemis sat behind his desk in his study while Butler got a chair for Holly to sit across from him. Butler himself stood dutifully beside his master.

"So what are you planning, Artemis?" Holly said, crossing her arms and legs. "Have you already gone back to your old ways?"

Artemis's nose twitched minutely. Calm yourself, he reminded himself. Don't let the guilt take over your brain.

"What are you referring to? Extorting gold from mythical creatures?"Artemis questioned innocently. His fingers were tapping involuntarily on his desk. He'd been holding it in all day, and now of all times his Atlantis complex seemed to be taking its toll on him.

He'd diagnosed himself with Atlantis Complex about a month ago. Before then, he'd never planned to disturb the vampires. However, the symptoms seemed to be quickening at an alarming rate and he was in need of a new project to occupy his mind for a while until he could find a way to cure himself.

Artemis was also worried that perhaps even the vampires wouldn't be able to delay the rapid deterioration of his genius mind. Just the other day, he'd caught himself arranging his thoughts in fives. His paranoia was getting worse as well. Even now, he couldn't help but feel incredibly nervous with Butler behind his back. The elf in front of him, too, could have hundreds of reasons for wanting him dead.

He pressed the pads of his left index finger and thumb together until they turned white. This helped him concentrate slightly better, and at this point he needed to focus. This was a crucial part in continuing his project- which in turn was crucial in not going insane.

"I thought you were trying to be a better person now, Artemis," Holly said, more softly now, unfolding her arms. Her expression was definitely less hostile. "I just want to know what you're planning. Do I have to take you down to Haven?"

Artemis sighed. "Butler, fetch us a drink... please." He said the last word forcefully, as if his mouth was having difficulty putting another word into the sentence. Butler nodded, still trying to figure out Artemis himself, and left the room.

"What's wrong with you, Artemis?" Holly said concernedly. "You're speaking strangely, you look like the living dead, and your fingers haven't stopped moving since we came in."

More observant than I'd thought, Artemis noticed. Need to be more careful...

"I suppose meeting with vampires does that to a person," he replied, not quite meeting the elf's eyes.

He set up a video call between himself and Foaly, since he knew the centaur was most likely listening in on their conversation anyway. Foaly's face appeared on the screen, which Artemis turned sideways so Holly could see too.

"About the vampires, Mud Boy. I've been stalking them for the past dozen minutes or so, and they don't seem to be a hoax. So how did you find them? No need to say when, you paid for this house about six months ago."

"Six months?" Holly stared at him. "You hid this from us for six months?"

"Would you have believed me if I'd simply told you that vampires existed? No, I had to show you so you could see it with your own eyes," Artemis answered. "As for how I discovered them..."

The Cullens' house...

Edward was explaining the same thing to his family, based on what he had seen in Artemis's bodyguard's mind. He didn't bother calling down Alice from her room since she was likely listening anyway.

"All right, so about six months ago Fowl ran a search looking for a mansion owned by another family of Cullens that he met personally at some gala," he started.

"You can do that?" Bella frowned.

"Not legally, of course," Jasper said shrewdly.

Edward shook his head. "He hacked into government satellites and even improved their capabilities." Bella gaped in amazement. "Anyways, by mere chance our house turned up. He was about to dismiss it, but- like I said- he'd improved the filters in the satellites, and he'd noticed that while there were several people leaving the house, they had no heat signatures."

"Of all the damn luck," Emmett groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"It gets worse. We were out hunting that day. Even though the trees blocked most of it, he saw enough. So after that he spied on us a bit, did some background research on us," Edward continued, now looking at Bella, "and came to the same conclusion you did."

"When was this?" Carlisle wondered.

"Only a week after he got back from- wherever he'd been for three years. It wasn't very clear."

"Artemis Fowl is truly the most mind-boggling human I have ever met," Carlisle said. "Seventeen! And to have broken into government property so easily..."

"There's some good news too," Edward said. Everyone stared at him. Good news in a situation like this? "Alice just predicted a thunderstorm tomorrow. Bella, you can be the first human to watch a vampire family play baseball. That is, if you're free."

In spite of it all, everyone in the room smiled at least a little. Nothing like a good game of baseball to distract you from the impeding danger of a seventeen year old criminal mastermind.

Back in Artemis's study, no one seemed to be questioning the legality of what Artemis had done. It was the norm, actually.

"So why are you telling us this, Mud Boy?" Foaly asked thoughtfully, leaning closer to the monitor. "You need something, don't you?"

"How well you know me. Actually, I need to borrow some of your equipment, Foaly."

"For what? The vampires?" Foaly said. Then he became distracted. "You know, I still can't say that without feeling stupid. Vampires? Am I dreaming, Holly? Please say I am."

"You are in fact fully conscious, Foaly," Artemis said in amusement. "And yes, I intend to use them for my research. In exchange, I will share with you everything I find out about them."

"You want us to give you LEP recon equipment? Are you nuts?" Holly said.

"All of this is nuts," Foaly muttered. "How could we never have known about them? I don't believe they've gotten past all our surveillance."

"I believe there are very few of them, which would be why you've never been able to find them," Artemis assured him. "After all, they do feed on humans regularly, and to remain inconspicuous for all these centuries must mean there cannot be many of them."

Holly covered her mouth with her hands. In all the excitement, she'd almost forgotten what vampires were known for- killing people and drinking their blood. She suddenly felt nauseous.

Foaly cleared his throat and continued, "Anyway, now that we know that they exist, we need to get started right away on evaluating them. It looks like we won't have a choice, Holly. Artemis is probably our fastest way to find out more about the vampires."

"So that's a yes, then?" Artemis said.

"This still seems fishy to me," Holly grumbled, trying not to think of a vampire's diet.

"I assure you, my intentions are a hundred percent genuine this time," Artemis told them.

"Excuse me if I don't believe you, Mr. Fowl," Holly sneered. "A memory seems to keep cropping up involving you kidnapping me for a tonne of gold."

"That was years ago, Captain Short," Artemis waved it off, though on the inside he could feel the guilt inside him squirming- caused by his current illness, no doubt. "You and I both know much has happened since then."

And of course, the first thing that popped into Holly's head was from about half a year ago, when she had kissed Artemis in the gorilla's cage. Don't you dare blush, Holly, she told herself automatically. Scolding herself didn't work. She blushed anyway.

She didn't know whether or not Artemis was thinking the same thing, but if he was, he didn't show it.

"All right, you've made some progress," she admitted. "But are you telling me you don't want anything to gain from this?"

"I never said anything of the sort," Artemis said, smiling. "There will undoubtedly be leftovers from the equipment that I need to use to conduct my research. Remember how much I was able to do with just several LEP helmets?"

Indeed, the LEP helmets had helped create the anti-shield goggles that Butler used to take down an entire fairy SWAT team, sonic filter earplugs that saved them from a fairy sonix grenade during a deal with Jon Spiro, and several of the parts played a huge role in the invention of the C Cube.

"Foaly, this is a bad idea," she warned him. "I think-"

They never found out what Holly thought, because at that moment they were interrupted by someone banging on a door extremely loudly.

"I think it's coming from your side, Foaly," Artemis said. Foaly groaned.

"Come in, come in!" he yelled in the direction of the door. He typed something rapidly in his computer and the door swung open automatically. "Make it snappy, would you?"

Just then, Butler came in with the drinks, but no one noticed. The small elf on Foaly's side of the screen was looking extremely panicked. They could tell right away that he hadn't merely come to inform Foaly of a baby whose diapers needed changing.

"It's the Council members, sir! A roof caved in on all of them!" he squeaked.

"What?" Butler was confused, Holly was in shock, and Artemis raised his eyebrows- which, for him, also meant he was extremely surprised.

"Three have already been pronounced dead!"

"This can't be happening..." Foaly gaped. "First vampires, now this?"

"Vampires?"

"It's nothing. Is Commander Kelp there?" Foaly asked. The elf nodded, looking petrified. He then noticed whose face was on the giant screen in front of Foaly.

"Holy Frond, is that a Mud Man?" he said in awe, apparently distracted.

"You can leave now," the centaur hinted, not even looking at him anymore. The elf gulped and obeyed eagerly. He knew what Foaly and his weapons were capable of. One of his co-workers had once gotten on the wrong side of the centaur, and he ended up falling into a trap hole prototype.

Foaly hastily set up a communication link between himself and Commander Trouble Kelp.

"Trouble. What's going on?" Holly, Butler, and Artemis watched silently.

"The members were having a luncheon together, and the roof collapsed on them!" Trouble exclaimed, sounding weary. "They think it might have been planned. The roof was perfectly fine before it self-destructed."

"Any survivors?"

"So far, all but three. Another two of them are in critical condition, but the rest seem fine I think. Wing Commander Vinyayá's already recovered and is actually barking orders at everyone at the moment."

They listened to Trouble describing current events for a few hours. In the end, four Fairy Council members died and were replaced almost instantly. Trouble eventually had to leave, and when he did, no one quite knew what to say.

"I- I don't believe this," Holly finally said. It was the first thing anyone in the room had said for a while. "This can't be happening. First the vampires, now this?" She turned to Artemis as a thought occurred to her. "You didn't do this, did you? Please, say you didn't."

Artemis had a cold look on his face. "I have done many things I am not proud of, Captain, but murder is not one of them. Though I admit, the entire thing couldn't have happened at a worse time. Now it is up to several brand-new Council members to decide what to do with the whole vampire situation." He was getting nervous again. His fingers began tapping out multiples of five.

The LEP was efficient. By now the mess had been cleaned up, the new Fairy Council was already active, and families of the dead Council members were preparing their recycling ceremonies. In fact, a Council meeting was to take place in the next ten minutes.

"I'll have to tell them about the vampires at the meeting," Foaly said. "And I need clearance from them to give you the weapons too. Let me tell you right now, don't expect to like the results. New Council members are the worst."

"So do you know anything about the new members, Foaly?" Artemis asked. Four new Council members. Death. His foot started to tap out patterns too.

"Negative. I just know that there are more where they came from. There are back-ups for any position in the LEP." Foaly paused. "Except maybe mine. I'm pretty much irreplaceable."

Another knock on Foaly's door. "Sir? They want you downstairs. The meeting will start soon."

They watched Foaly grab a few things off his desk hurriedly. "Wish me luck," he said nervously, smoothing back his hair.

"Good luck, Foaly," Butler said.

"Break a leg," Holly said.

"Do try and put me in a good light, please," Artemis said. With that, the screen turned black. Artemis glanced at his watch. Six o'clock. "Holly, you might as well stay for dinner while we wait for Foaly to return."

Holly, who had been staring at the empty screen, snapped back to her senses and stood up. She hadn't realized how long she'd been sitting, and she had to stretch her legs a bit. "No, I'll get going. I'll hear from him personally."

"You may have to return here anyway," Artemis said. Holly had already begun walking away, but he caught her attention.

"What? Why?"

Artemis looked grim. "I wasn't expecting new Council members. They may ask you to take me down with you to Haven for questioning."

Holly hadn't thought of that. "All right then," she conceded. "Do you have anything decent to eat?"

"Go lie down on that couch; you must be tired after all that's happened. Butler will find you a salad, I'm sure."

Indeed, Holly was exhausted. She didn't even remark how strange it was that Artemis was trying to be hospitable towards her.

In reality, this was just a way for Artemis to distract both Holly and Butler for a while. Once he could hear Holly snoring away, and he was sure Butler was in the kitchen, he allowed himself exactly five minutes to let his compulsion take control.

Artemis Fowl almost looked crazy. He arranged positively everything on the desk, started muttering to himself, organized his computer files in sets of five, adjusted the blinds to the perfect angle, and a variety of other things the former Artemis would have been ashamed to see himself obsessing over.

He found himself a little scared of the extent of which his disease controlled him, but that was what his research on vampires was for. To distract him long enough to find a cure for his compulsion. After that was done, he would go back to Fowl Manor and spend some more time with his family, as he'd promised. Unless, of course...

A sudden thought occurred to him. It was unlikely, but even so- why take chances?

Butler re-entered the room with the salad, but didn't wake up Holly. By then, Artemis had gotten over his momentary lapse, and was feverishly working on something else.

"Is there anything else you need me to do, sir?" Butler asked him. Artemis paused.

"Not for now, old friend," his master replied slowly. "Perhaps you should lay down a little, too. The next few hours could get hectic."

Butler did sit down- it had already been an extremely eventful day- but he didn't fall asleep. Not at this critical moment. Artemis's warning made him even more nervous. He didn't know what his principal was working on, but he watched him working furiously on it for two hours straight, which was about double the time it took for him to forge perfect copies of the Silence Dogood letters.

After the two-hour mark, Holly woke up with a yawn. At first, she was confused as to where she was, but the day's events soon came back to her. So it wasn't all a dream then, she thought disappointedly. Then, Ooh, a salad.

The pesticide-free salad cheered her up a bit. The ones in the Lower Elements didn't taste nearly as good when they weren't grown in natural sunlight. She munched on the veggies as she watched Artemis concentrating on something on his computer and knew that it wouldn't do any good to interrupt him in that state. Not even a minute after she'd finished the last of her salad, Artemis finally leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"It's finished," he said, mainly to himself. "I'll just burn it to a disc then."

"What were you working on?" Holly asked him from across the study. "Some genius plan to kidnap a vampire?"

"Hilarious, Holly," Artemis said, glaring at her. "Actually, if all goes well I won't even be needing this. However, it doesn't hurt to be careful."

"And you're not going to explain, I guess...?"

"Some other time," Artemis said, his eyes back on the screen. "Foaly's back."

Butler and Holly immediately jumped up from their seats and went over to Artemis's desk.

"What's the good word, Foaly?" Butler said. "And why did it take so long?"

Foaly didn't quite meet their eyes. "Yeah, the meeting was way longer than usual. I was using all my persuasive efforts, but- well, anyways. I've got good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?"

"Good news," Artemis said.

"Actually, it would make more sense if I told you the bad news first, but whatever I guess." Foaly took a deep breath. "The good news is, they're going to let Butler keep his memories." Before either Butler or Holly understood what this meant, Foaly went on, "The bad news is that all the new Council members plus a couple of the old ones want your mind wiped, Mud Boy. Right now."

Srry for the cliffhanger that may or may not be resolved, yall!

like i said, this story will MOST LIKELY be finished, unless i feel the creative juices flowin' again some time soon :P

So, this also means people have full permission to continue this, if they'd like, or take ideas from this, or write another version similar. Just make sure to CREDIT me please, and i'd like you to send me a message too so i can read it :)

That's all for now, folks! maybe i'll write again next week, maybe not till the world ends!

But keep reviewing peeps, it's great to know i have readers :D