Leonardo jerked up, sweat running down his face.

His body was shivering, one finger on his right hand twitching. Like it would be firing a gun.

Leo lifted his hands, looking at them, as if they were some kind of monsters.

Which they were.

The roars which he had heard in his dream…nightmare, were still echoing in his heads.

He wasn't too stunned about them, 'though.

It was the memory. The memory of his little brother, turned into a dangerous vicious monster, running into his direction, roaring at him. The memory of Leo, firing darts off a gun.

Over and over again. Darts spicing into his brother's flesh.

Leo felt so sick.

He got out of his bed.

Luckily to his ninja skills, Donatello didn't hear him when he got up the leader which led to his bed.

As quiet as possible, Leonardo laid down next to his little brother and pulled him close.

Donatello squirmed a little.

"Leo?"

The purple banded turtle opened his eyes, looking right into his older brother's face.

Donny's eyes fully opened at that.

"That nightmare?"

Without saying a word, Leo pulled his second youngest brother closer, tucking his head under his chin.

Donny wasn't surprised. Leo always acted like that, when something, referring his brothers, bothered him.

Donny didn't actually know what his older brother's nightmare was about, but he knew that it had something to do with his secondary mutation Bishop's outbreak had caused.

It had been a few weeks since then and the brothers hadn't fully recovered yet.

They needed eachother's support more than they ever did before.

So, Donny just leaned into his big brother, enjoying his comfortable warmth.

Without really noticing it, Leo started stroking over Donny's chest, searching for the dents were the placed where the darts had sunk in.

He could still feel them clearly.

Leo clenched his eyes together and pulled Donny even closer, causing the younger to gasp.

"Easy, Leo. You're suffocating me."

Donny looked up and smiled at the older.

That smile. That gentle loving smile.

Leo couldn't stand it. He didn't deserve that smile.

"Leo?"

Donny's smile had faded; he was now looking at the older with worry.

"Are you…mad at me?"

Donny's voice had filled with concern, fear and apology.

Leo took Donny's head with one hand and tucked it back under his chin.

"I could never be mad at you."

Leo was still stroking over Donny's chest. Donny placed his hand on Leo's, stopping its movement.

"Then, why aren't you talking? Or smiling at me?"

Leonardo looked down at the younger.

At that moment, Donatello didn't seem to be his mature, teenage brother.

He was looking like a little child, worrying because of a monster hiding under his bed.

But this time, the monster was real.

Donatello blinked, placing his hand on his older brother's cheek.

"There has to be a reason this nightmare affects you so much, Leo. Just tell me! It's just a dream, so it's okay. Completely okay." The younger smiled.

Leo bit his trembling lower lip. Okay? If Don only knew that it was anything BUT okay.

The leader shook his head.

"Never mind, Donny. You wouldn't understand."

"But -!"

"Never mind, Donatello!"

Don winced at the sharp tone of Leo's voice.

He started to tremble slightly.

Leo pulled him closer again, trying not to hurt him.

"Sorry, Donny. It's just…I…!"

Leo gave up and again searched for the dents on Don's chest.

A picture found its way into the eldest turtle's mind.

A picture of him, keeping firing tranquilizer darts onto a fast running monster.

A picture of the monster, falling to the ground, closing its blood red eyes.

A picture of Leo, kneeling beside the unconscious monster and whispering: "It's gonna be alright, Donny."

Leo clenched his eyes shut once again, causing a tear to fall down.

Don noticed.

"Leo?"

But Leonardo shook his head, gesturing the younger to be quiet.

But Donny didn't even think of being quiet.

"Leo, please, tell me. I want to help you!"

Leo shook his head once again.

"You're the little brother here, Donny. You don't have to help me with anything."

"That's stupid, Leo, and we both know that!"

"Donny, just -!" "And you're telling me I don't trust you enough!"

Leo looked down at his second youngest brother, half shocked, half puzzled.

"I know it has something to do with the outbreak! So, could you please just tell me what happened?"

"Don, we already -!" "You told me that I was a vicious monster, you made Bishop and Stockman cure me and I tried to eat Mikey's leg!"

He laughed a fake laugh.

"That information was indeed very pleasing. Now, I'd like to know the freaking whole story!"

Leonardo blinked at Don. He knew he had a point.

But…he couldn't tell him.

Not only to protect the younger from the truth, but also…not to make himself going through the whole story again.

But now that he was confronted like that...Donatello would never let it go if he didn't get his wanted information now.

Leonardo took a deep breath. Now or never.

"You want to know the whole story? Fine, let's start: We were beating up mutants, I was stuck under an extremely disgusting one, and I got a call from April. She was so scared that she wasn't even able to finish her sentences. The one thing I understood that you guys were in trouble. Especially you, Don! So, Raph, Mikey and I made our way to April's, only to find her and Casey being threatened by a vicious, aggressive, cruel, ugly monster. And after it fled into the sewers and we'd thrown some pretty good punches at it, April told us that you were that monster! But we had to ignore our shock and shame to run after you, because you were short before destroying our new home. Then Leatherhead had to finish that Mutant-trap-thingy, the two of you had been building together, to use it on you! To get you into that thing, we'd risked our lives, because you weren't really the same opinion as we were and tried to kill us! Then, when we'd been back at the lair, desperate, you still in that box, trying to destroy it, Mikey wanted to make you breakfast."

Leo chuckled sadly.

"It was your favorite. When he had opened that little opening down on the box to put the tray into it, you knocked Mikey down, and, well, tried to rip his leg off, or something. After I and Master Splinter tried to reassure you and LH had put some sleeping gas into your box, I've figured that we could use the old helicopter you'd been repairing, to get Bishop to cure you. When Stockman tried to put you into a similar box, because, according to him, the one you and Leatherhead had created totally sucked, you freaked out and almost killed Master Splinter. When Bishop said it'd be useless and meant we'd have to destroy you, you and Leatherhead fought each other to Bishop's laboratory, where he had caused Leatherhead so much pain. Then, when you were short before killing LH, I…I appeared and started firing darts off a tranquilizer gun. While I shot, you kept running into my direction, roaring at me, wanting to rip me apart. And then, maybe even less than a second, I…I had wished it wouldn't have been a tranquilizer gun in my hands."

Leonardo looked down at Donatello.

"I wanted to kill you, Donny! I wanted to have a real gun and freaking kill you! And that's why it's not okay and I didn't tell you anything! Because I'd been freaking sick!

I. Wanted. To. Kill. My. Little. Brother."

Leonardo's breathing was faster than usual, his eyes on his brother's face.

Donatello's eyes had widened. He had started trembling. His mouth was moving without any words coming out. He slowly shook his head.

"You…you wanted -?" "Yes, Donny. I wanted."

Donatello looked at his brother's chest, avoiding his gaze.

How?

How could it have turned out like that? How come Leo actually thought of..?

No.

It wasn't Leo's fault. If Don hadn't been such a monster, the whole thing would've never happened, Mikey would've never gotten hurt and Leo wouldn't have had to think about something like that.

Donatello quietly mumbled, his voice cracking: "What have I done?"

Leo looked at the younger with shock!

"Donny?" "It's all my fault!"

Don looked up to his big brother.

"If I wouldn't have been scratched by that mutant! If I had told you guys sooner that it had felt worse than just a cold! If I wouldn't have -!"

A hand flapped over his mouth.

"Shut up, Donny."

Ignoring his protest, Leonardo pulled Donny close, holding him tightly.

"It wasn't your fault. It'd have been everybody's fault of you'd say so, but, no way how often you say it: This wasn't your freaking fault. You couldn't have done anything about this. Not. At. All."

Don had stopped protesting. He was now leaning against his big brother's chest, still trembling.

"Do you…do you still..?"

Leo knew what the younger meant. He pressed Donny's face against his chest.

Tears were now streaming down Leo's face.

"No way in shell, Donny. I'd rather blow the whole world up before I'd kill you. I'm so sorry. So damn sorry!"

Also Donny was crying now.

Both brothers clung onto each other, both searching for protection, support, understanding, and the most important thing.

Love.

Both brothers missed the old times, when they had still been toddlers.

All four of them had slept in the same bed, they would come to each other when they had nightmares, and they would hold each other.

How much the two turtles missed those times.

Both were still crying, Leo more silent, Donny was sobbing.

The blue clad turtle pulled his younger brother as close as possible.

The purple banded turtle leaned into the embrace, not wanting to let go.

Trying to stop his tears, Leo whispered: "I love you, Donny. I love you so much and I'm so sorry about the whole thing. I love you."

Donny cried all the harder.

"Leo!", he sobbed, "I'm also sorry! I never meant to hurt any of you! And I love you too! So much!"

All things needed to be said were said. Both brothers felt a heavy weight off their chests.

For the first time in so many weeks, both turtles felt…relieved.

They started to calm down. Leo's falling tears had stopped, but Donny was still sniffling.

Stroking the back of his little brother's head, Leo whispered: "I suppose, both of us need protection now, right?"

Clinging tighter onto his eldest brother, Donny nodded.

Not letting go off each other for the whole night, both brothers fell into a deep sleep.

And for the first time in weeks, Leonardo wouldn't suffer from his nightmare. But neither him nor Donatello knew, that a far worse nightmare was about to begin.