Will's Point of View

I'd officially done it. I'd fucked up things with Emma by one simple slip of the tongue.

Sure, I'd been thinking of a possible future with her: I'd felt that way for almost a week now. She was everything that Terri wasn't. But me and my stupid mouth – I'd blurted it out before I'd realized it, and now? I'd quite possibly messed up the one good thing I had in my life.

Emma didn't say anything to me as I pulled into her drive. She simply leaned over, kissed my cheek, and got out of the passenger door, wiping tears all the while. I watched her until she had safely entered her condo, and as I pulled away, I might have shed a few tears myself.

The drive home was unbearable. I had to fight myself to not turn the car around and go back, beat on her door and beg her to tell me what I could do to make things better. Instead, I went home, took a long hot shower, and chastised myself for being such a dumbass.

As I lay in bed, I thought of what a mistake I'd made. When would I ever learn to keep my mouth shut? It had gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion and – well, now it appeared that I'd made the biggest mistake of them all. I should have known better. She just wasn't as invested in this relationship as I was. All of the signs had been there, and I'd just ignored them.

She thought we were a mistake.

I could hear the wind picking up outside my window as the branches from the tree tapped against the glass pane, so I closed my eyes and did my best to sleep. I had drifted into a state of semi-consciousness when I heard my phone ringing on the bedside table.

"Hello," I answered groggily.

"Will, um, Hi – it's me. I'm in your parking lot. Can I come up?"

I popped up out of bed and looked out my window. Sure enough, her car was parked in my visitor spot. "Sure thing, Em."

I slipped into a t-shirt and my old faded blue jeans and met her at the door. As she came into view, I could see that her eyes were red and swollen. I wanted nothing more than to run to her and take her into my arms, but I had already made one too many mistakes tonight. I was NOT going to make another one. I still wanted a friendship with her. Maybe I could at least salvage that.

"C'mon in," I said as she approached. She attempted a smile as she entered and made her way to the armchair, taking a seat. I took a seat opposite her on the end of the couch.

"I know you're wondering why I'm here," she said as a fresh round of tears started to flow from her eyes. "I'm amazed you even let me in."

I fought the urge to reach out and take her hand. "Emma, after all we've been through together – you're my best friend. Why wouldn't I?"

She looked up at me, and I could see the sincere hurt in her eyes. "Will, I'm not what you want. After tonight, I know that. I want to be, but I can't."

Apparently she noticed the look of confusion on my face. "Earlier – when we were at the school. You said you…"

Sobs overtook her as she tried to speak, but she couldn't get the words out. I couldn't help myself as I knelt in front of her, taking her small shaking frame into my arms. "Emma, it's alright. Honey, what's wrong?"

She tried to speak again, but her words were unintelligible. As she cried, I pulled her down into my lap, cradling her head against my shoulder. "It's OK, sweetheart. Calm down. It's just me." I held her against me until she caught her breath. I reached over to the end table and grabbed a tissue from the box, handing it to her. "Emma, honey. C'mon…talk to me."

She took the tissue and dotted her eyes, then looked at me. "Will, I love you. I've loved you for a while now, but – I can't…"

I pushed her hair away from her face and wiped away a stray tear with my thumb. "You can't what? Talk to me Em – please."

She pushed out of my lap and stood. I was sure she was going to leave, but instead of leaving, she took my hand and pulled me toward my room.

After she'd shut the door, she pushed me backwards towards the bed until my knees hit the mattress. She used her hand to push me down to sitting. "Will, I need to be honest with you."

I was puzzled. "Emma, you…"

Her finger placed against my lips silenced me. "After my accident, well – you saw me. I was bruised and scarred and battered. More than just my bones were broken…" As she spoke, she slowly unbuttoned her shirt. Was this really happening?

Was she undressing herself in front of me?

FOR ME?

As her shirt fell to the floor, I saw the faint pale slits on her upper torso, her chest. "I'm hideous."

"No, God no- you're not. You're beautiful and…"

Her look silenced me. "Will, please, let me finish." She reached down and undid the button of her jeans. As she pulled them down, she spoke. "My accident left me scarred, not only physically, but emotionally as well. There were so many complications after the wreck. I had to have five surgeries on my right leg alone." She turned her leg to the side and I could see the long pink scar running from just behind her knee upward. "The first time we were together – Will, it was wonderful and amazing and…totally dark. I knew if you saw me like this – all damaged - you'd…"

I stood and quickly made my way to her, taking her into my arms. "Emma, do you think I'm that superficial? I'm in love with YOU…your mind, your spirit, your heart. YOU are perfect." I chanced to run my hand down her chest, my finger tracing gently over one of the larger scars right above her navel. "And…you're beautiful just the way you are." I pulled back and looked at the black satin bra and panty set that she was wearing.

"This was supposed to be your Valentine's gift," she said, her finger lightly caressing over the strap of the bra. "But then…" The tears started to flow again. "…then you mentioned a future, and…"

I pulled her closely. "Emma – what are you talking about? Please talk to me."

She pushed back from me and looked into my eyes. "Please, Will…don't…"

I watched in astonishment as she began to tug downward at the waistband of her panties, stopping only when the long pink scar was visible. "They did everything they could. My pelvic bone shattered, it punctured my…there was no way it could be saved. I…it was the only thing they could do…and I can never, ever…"

As her sobs started again, I realized what she was saying. Pulling her into my arms, I held her tightly, my lips gently kissing her hair, her forehead, and her temples. "Emma, honey, it's alright."

"No it's NOT!" She pulled away from me. "You deserve someone who can give you everything you deserve. You deserve to be a father…and…I could never do that for any man."

She shoved me away from her as she reached for her discarded blouse. "This was a bad idea…I should have known…"

Before she could speak another word, I ran to her, capturing her lips with mine. As our tongues met, I lifted her and carried her over to my bed, laying her down gently. She began to relax into me as my lips left hers, trailing down her throat. As I made my way back up to her lips, I made eye contact. "Emma, darling. I love YOU. All of you." My hands roamed down her body, followed by my mouth. As I reached the scar on her lower abdomen, I kissed it softly. "Even this."

She sat up and looked into my eyes. "But, Will – if we were to carry on – if we ever were to become serious – I can't have children. It will never happen. I…"

"I don't care," I said as my fingers traced along the scar. "You are perfect, Emma Pillsbury, just as you are now." I pulled her toward the end of the bed and knelt between her legs, taking her hands into mine. "I have never, EVER felt as close to someone as I do to you right now. And for you to think I wouldn't want you anymore after this? You're alive, Emma. That's all I could ask for."

She looked into my eyes. "Shhh, Will. Don't talk." Her hands trailed down to the hem of my shirt, her fingers pulling it quickly over my head. "Tell me how you feel in other ways." Her hands were now pulling at the button of my jeans. "Let me show you how much I want you."

After she'd undressed me, she reached around and removed her bra first, then slipped out of her panties. Taking my hand, she placed it at her knee, and I gently caressed up the scar to her center. "Oh God, Emma…" I panted as I felt her, warm and wet.

"I want you," she purred into my ear. "I've wanted you every night since our first time…I just didn't want you to…"

"Shhhh," I growled. "Now who's talking too much?"

I kissed my way down, from her lips to her neck, pushing her downward on my bed as I teased at her nipple with my tongue. She writhed beneath me as my other hand caressed her gently, slipping one finger inside. I felt her breath hitch as I added another, my tongue working circles around her breast.

"Feel good?" I whispered against her stomach as I worked my way downward.

Her words were inaudible, but her head was nodding. I smiled against her skin as I kissed her navel before kissing along the vertical scar right above her sex. She moaned with pleasure as I kissed gently against her clit, her legs wrapping around my shoulders. "Will, you don't have to…"

I looked up at her – her eyes heavy lidded and dark. "Yes, I do."

I felt her tense at my tongue's first touch against her, but soon after she was bucking against me, her body responding to my ministrations. As she came against me, I slipped my fingers back inside her as her muscles contracted around them. "Oh God, Will…I…"

I climbed up onto the bed beside her, my fingers still working her gently. "You what?"

She smiled; the first genuine smile I'd seen from her since I'd picked her up before the dance. "I love you so much."

I pulled her to me, holding her naked body against mine. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"Now, it's your…"

I stopped her as she tried to straddle me. "Nope, not now."

"But Will? What about you?"

I rolled myself atop her, pinning her to the bed. "I'm fine. Tonight isn't about me, Emma."

She laughed – a deep seductive sound – as she caressed my cheek. "And what if I want you, you know…to fuck me?"

I nuzzled into her neck as I felt myself grow harder. "Oh, that will happen…trust me. But not until I make sure you have been wholly and totally satisfied, in EVERY way imaginable."

She sighed against me as I pulled her into my side. "I love you, Will."

Kissing her forehead, I replied. "I love you too, but now…sleep. You're going to need it."

Author's Note:

So, NOW we know why Emma was so self-conscious! Did any of you have it figured out already? The reason she didn't need birth control their first time? Why she got so emotional when Will mentioned kids? My readers are pretty astute, so I am sure there was someone out there who had pieced it together.

I think this arc has pretty much run its course, so expect this story to draw to a close soon. To all of you who have stuck with me through this last year, I really do appreciate you. Not only your comments on the story, but also your friendship and love shown to me through all of the sadness I've been through this past year – it really has meant so much to me.

I do have another idea for a story (canon this time) that I might try to work on after this story comes to a close, but as I do between stories, I will be taking a self-imposed break to clear my head and get ready for it.

Until next time, ~jilly