Warning: I didn't feel like putting in Hinata's stutter (Mostly). The last time I tried that was a failure anyway

Well, enjoy! I think this fulfills my obligation of updating once every few years…

"Okay everyone, time to say something interesting about yourself," said Kurenai, sitting with her legs dangling at the top of a tree, staring down at her students.

Stupid intimidation techniques thought Shino.

"Shouldn't we say our ages first? Or at least names?" asked Kiba, wondering how their teacher stayed up there without exposing her underwear with the short clothing on her body but not questioning it. Female ninjas did that kind of thing a lot.

"To get this far you guys should be observant enough to know each others' names. But you may all call me Kurenai-sensei, and for the something interesting… I'm not really sitting on a tree right now." With that, Kiba was blinded by a flurry of cherry blossoms and found Kurenai sitting on a tree stump and a stump the same height directly behind him at the perfect position to sit in.

Hinata smiled and sat down quietly, happy she didn't have to ignore the stump to save Kiba embarrassment. Meanwhile, Kiba looked bewildered while Shino had been sitting down all along on what Kiba had perceived as thin air. So much for his theory of Shino being a training freak…

"I'm not obsessed with bugs," said Shino. "But if you harm one without reason…" here Shino pushed his glasses up on his nose so they glinted dangerously. "Let's just say I wouldn't advise it."

Kurenai laughed merrily as Kiba looked even more disturbed; she then asked Hinata to say something about herself.

"Well, I've been told that I sleep weirdly…" she said quietly, pushing her index fingers together as she looked at her knees.

"Weirdly how?" asked Kiba, hoping for something expected like she needed a stuffed animal to sleep with or a bedtime story. He was under the impression that Hinata was somewhat of a child ever since she asked him why people laughed at the phrase "That's what she said".

"Um… well, I can't sleep with any dolls or stuffed animals in my room since I'm scared they'll come to life and attack me," she started off saying, and Kiba realized his dreams of an ordinary first meeting were way too high.

"I also need all of the doors and windows shut. I need black blinds to cover my windows completely, and I sleep facing the wall," she continued. "And I absolutely cannot sleep facing a mirror."

"That's not strange," replied Kurenai with a smile. "That way if people are trying to kill you they have to open a door or window, and if you don't know they're there by the time they enter you at least die peacefully instead of seeing their figure above you a second before you get killed. Although you could always turn on your Bakugan, there's also the chance they only want to steal something and your facing the wall could spare them the necessity of killing you just in case you saw their face. And that way they wouldn't know you were using the Bakugan in the first place!"

"Ex- Exactly!" said Hinata, looking up and blushing happily at the fact that her sensei understood.

"Well, I'm a ladies' man," said Kiba, puffing himself up with pride at having a cool one-liner.

Akamaru whined and scratched the tree stump so Kiba knew he either had to suffer a temper tantrum later or add that Akamaru was going to be the best ninken ever; in fact, he already was. It's obvious which option he chose.*

"Now that that's over with, time for your test!" said Kurenai, looking far too excited for Kiba to revive his hopes at all.

"You have five minutes to tell me something about ME that I haven't already told you. Have fun!" And with another wind full of cherry blossoms, she was gone.

"Crap," said Kiba. At least he hadn't been expecting anything this time.

Four Minutes Later

…she looks pretty badass, I wonder if she smokes…man, there was this guy I saw smoking the other day, he looked so cool… I heard he had a hot girlfriend, Beni Yuhi or something… maybe if I smoke I'll get a girlfriend too… what the hell am I thinking about…

Kurenai walked into the clearing this time and sat down, her face a bit flushed.

"Well, I hope you're all ready to tell me something," she said, sitting down as the scent of cigarettes hit Kiba's nose.

Bingo.

"You're dating Asuma," stated Kiba, and Kurenai's face turned a deep red.

"We're not- what-that's ridiculous!" sputtered Kurenai (unconvincingly, I may add).

"Word-of-mouth is a reliable source, blame the village," replied Kiba unconcernedly, happy to have divulged something about her from his memory.

"Well Hinata, you may as well go second again,' said Kurenai, calming down.

"I'd rather say it directly to you instead of out loud…" said Hinata, turning the shade of red Kurenai had been a moment before.

"Why? Don't worry Hinata, we're all on one team here!" said Kurenai encouragingly, flashing her a smile.

Hinata turned an even more impossible shade that was getting close to purple and mumbled, "But…you…no…I- I can't…"

"Just spit it out already!" said Kiba forcefully, exasperated.

"Your underwear is pink today," said Hinata, shocked into replying.

There was a dead silence, and Kurenai decided to never give genin this test again.

"Your eyes are red," said Shino after a few moments.

"Good job, you all passed," said Kurenai, muttering "barely" as she glanced at Kiba.

"Does that mean we'll have dinner together or something? I'm fine, but Akamaru's starving!" said Kiba, grinning.

'What? But I just ate!' barked Akamaru, but Kiba just patted his head and winked.

"Sure. The test was much shorter than I told your parents it would be anyway, so let's get barbeque," said Kurenai, standing up and walking back towards the city.

"Well? Are you four coming or not?"

Akamaru yipped and ran towards her, happy that she counted him as an individual unlike OTHER teachers.

'Traitor' said Kiba under his breath, but stood up along with the rest of his team to follow their sensei, as they would be doing for the next few years.

Blooper:

"Something you haven't told us? You're voiced by Saffron Henderson!" shouted Kiba, standing up.

"No, she was voicing Tsubasa Kurenai! It was a mistake, from then on I'm voiced by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn!" shouted Kurenai back, panicking.

"I never said it was a bad thing, yeesh."

Who would curse their children with a name like Mary McGlynn…

*if it's not obvious to you, he didn't. Being cool is obviously worth it! Oh, and I'm not saying he's full of himself ")

Also, in Japanese the Kanji for "Kurenai" can also be read as "Beni". Google rocks!

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn