READ THIS FIRST! IMPORTANT INFO! Just recently got into MW2 again (I've had the game since April...) and I realized just how much I adored Roach after reading some fanfics! Everyone seems to make his personality sort've "boyish" and "crude" and I can definitely see him like that.

Now, this isn't a 'write down your thoughts' diary. It's Roach's mental thoughts. He can be thinking about this stuff and doing it at the same time. So don't get it mixed up while reading as it may be very confusing thinking he's writing this down while shooting some poor Tango...

Roach's Mental Notes

August 7th, 2016

05:45

Well, I'm awake now...and I seem to have a dilemma...

I really have to pee...but I'm really comfortable right now and I don't want to get up from my cot this early. I'm all warm and snug and I know that if I get up to use the bathroom and come back to my cot, it just won't have that same degree of warmth and comfort...Yeah, I really have a problem on my hands.

Why can't a person be able to use the bathroom and sleep at the same time? That's something scientists really need to start thinking about now days. I mean, c'mon...its a great idea, really. It sounds really stupid, but its actually genious.

05:54

I wonder who else writes about having to pee...

05:57

...Maybe Ghost does...?

06:03

Huh...maybe I should get Meat or Worm to carry me to the bathroom instead...they're always looking out for me here and there. They shouldn't mind too much.

But wait a second...that would still mean I'd have to leave my bed. Not only to use the bathroom, but to wake Meat or Worm up...oh man...fuck my life...

06:11

I can think of only one other solution. But that would not only mean that I'd have to get up, but I'd also have to clean my bed-sheets. Gosh, when did life become so hard?

06:16

FINE! I'll leave my nice, comfy bed and go use the stupid bathroom. Jesus Christ, I swear...I wish nature would stupid fucking calling. Oh well...

Nature is such a bitch.

06:25

Okay, so I did my thing and now I'm cold. I suppose I might as well get up. It's about time, anyway...I don't want Meat pouring ice-water on my head again. That was horrible...

It really sucks being FNG. I wonder if any of the other guys had it as bad as me. I've never been so tired of practical jokes in my life. And, dude, where did I get my call-sign from? Seriously. Roach? Who the hell is called Roach? Everyone else's call-sign aren't that bad. I actually think Ghost's is kinda cool...Meat, Worm, and Scarecrow aren't so bad...but me?

Roach. Goddamn.

07:01

Everyone is awake now. We're all in the mess hall. I've been thinking about my call-sign. I guess it ain't that bad, being reffered to as a cockroach. I mean, they could've called me Cock...now that would've been bad. I could only imagine how bad my life would've been then. Meat and the others would've never let that go.

07:15

I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what day of the week it is. I've completely lost track of the weekdays. I guess I'll ask Captain Mactavish.

07: 19

"Captain?" He looks up from the coffee he's drinking. Ghost is sitting across from him, staring at me. Well, I'm not exactly sure if he is, since he wears those sunglasses and mask all the time. I bet he even wears that crap to bed and that just can't help but kinda make you wonder what people do in their free time, whenever no one else is watching and its just them in the room and they're completely themselves and why is this thought so long? I'm getting off track. "What day is it?"

"It's August 7th, Roach. Why?" He asks me in that thick Scottish accent.

I shake my head. "No, I mean, what day of the week is it? Is it Monday or Tuesday or what?"

"Hmmm..." He sits there in deep thought, rubbing his chin. For god's sake, I only asked what day of the week it was, not what the sqaure root of pie was. He finally decides on an answer. "It's the day after yesterday, and the day before tomorrow. That is, If Tomorrow Never Dies." He ends the sentence with a smile.

"W-What?" I am very confused right now. I don't understand what the Captain's getting at...

Ghost pipes in, in a sing-songy voice. "If tomorrow dies, then the world will end today. But I thought the world was going to end The Day After Tomorrow."

I can't believe my eyes (or my ears) as Captain Mactavish continues, singing along. "Well, no matter when the world will end, at least Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away."

Ghost all of a sudden bursts out, leaning over the table. "But suddenly, you're not half the man you used to be?"

I'm starting to think that I'm still asleep and this is all one bizzare nightmare. Captain Mactavish almost climbs onto the table himself, singing out. "There's a shadow hanging over me!"

Ghost draws back, like he's offended or something, which is strange. But then again, after seeing all that happen, I can't really call anything strange anymore. I can see him scowling through his mask. "Then I suggest you buy more lamps."

07:39

I realize that the attention has been drawn away from me and I sneakily escape from them, not wanting to look back. That had to the strangest expirience I've had with the Task Force so far. It kinda makes me wonder if the Captain's seen one two many tragedies and is going off the deep end. Ghost, too, but it seems way stranger with the Captain, considering he's some sort of bad ass...

I wonder what Meat and the guys are doing?

07:46

"Meat." I acknowledge, plopping down beside him and Worm at the table.

"Well, the cockroach decided to show its face. The lights too bright for you, Roach?" Meat gives my shoulder a nudge and I glare at him. Sometimes I really do hate him with the intensity of a thousand burning deserts.

"Shut up, ass. What day is it?" I ask crankily.

"Today is Augu-" Worm begins.

I shut him up, already knowing what he was gonna say. "No, what day of the week?" I feel like I've asked this a million times already. "Y'know? Day of the week?"

Rocket, who's sitting across from us with Scarecrow, speaks up first. "It's Tuesday!"

I'm about to sigh a breath of relief, but then I hear Worm speaking up. "No, its Friday you idiot."

"It is?" I ask and he nods. Then I see Meat shaking his head.

"No, you're all wrong. It's Sunday." He seems fairly confident about his answer.

I'm am completely confused. My head is hurting and its like I can feel the rusty gears grinding in my brain. I have no idea what day of the week it is and it's realling pissing me off for some reason.

Must be the OCD.

09:50

General Shepherd called us in for a meeting. Something about some Allen guy, KIA, Moscow, Russia, blah, blah, blah...

I don't know why, but it feels like that man is going to kill me someday...

Must be my imagination?

10:34

Well, the meetings over. Looks like that Allen guy was undercover or something and he got killed and now America is being accused of slaughtering innocent Russians and a war is very inevitable now. Oh well, doesn't affect my life any.

Now we have to go look for some in Brazil named Alejandro Rojas. Hmm...I can't help but think of that one song by Lady Gaga, Alejandro.

I walk out of the room, quietly singing. "Don't call my name, don't call my name, Alejandro. I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe, Fernando. Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch. Just smoke one cigarette and hush. Don't call my name, don't call my name Roberto. Alejandro, Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Ale-"

Its then that I notice that Ghost is staring at me weirdly. What? He can sing some random song out of nonwhere, but I can't? I'm tempted to yell at him, but being my superior, I hold my tongue.

10:38

I wonder if I'm any less of a man because I listen to Lady Gaga? All of a sudden, I remembered what Captain Mactavish and Ghost were singing earlier. But suddenly, you're not half the man you used to be?

You think they were reffering to me? How did they know I'd be thinking about this later on?

...The Captain and Ghost truly are remarkable.

13:21

We're on board the pave low now, heading towards Brazil. I swear, this day is dragging by painfully slow. Meat, Royce, and Chemo are talking about some movie..."The Hangover"? I'm not sure.

"No, seriously! There was a tiger in the bathroom and they found a baby in the cabinet!" Meat droned on, overly excited.

"No way!" Chemo yells at him. "You're kidding me!"

"Serious as a heart attack! They steal a police car, their friends marries a stripper, and one of them even gets punched out by Mike Tyson!"

"Aw, shit man! That movie sounds awesome! Why haven't I ever seen it before?" Chemo replies.

They continue on babbling about the movie. I don't know who this 'Stu' guy is...but I want to strangle him with a phone cord.

14:01

We're in Brazil. We're following these guys in a van because they seem to know where this 'Alejandro' guy was. "Alejandro, Alejan- DAMNIT!" I curse out loud. The driver looks at me warily, as if my insanity isn't in tact. I merely brush him off and take to staring out the window.

The van stopped now and two guys are talking to some skinny dude. Oh shit. He just pulled out a gun.

14:02

So that's what brains looks like?

14:04

So I'm chasing that guy down with Captain Mactavish. The streets were peaceful about 2 minutes ago, but now everyone is running around screaming and there's fire everywhere. I wonder how that happened so quick?

The Captain tells me to take a non-lethal shot, so I just shoot the poor sap in the leg. Roach 1, Unlucky Bitch 0.

14:10

Captain Mactavish and Ghost are in the back of the truck doing what I think is torturing the guy with car jumpers. Classic. It's just me, Meat, and Royce now. I wonder where Chemo went?

Great. So we're after that Alejandro guy now. When I find that fucker, I'm going to beat his ass because all this work is definitely not worth it.

Royce just told Meat to clear out the civvies in the favela. He jumps down and proceeds to yell like a banshee and fire his gun in the air. Totally Meat. Making himself look like a jackass. But it seems to have worked, so I guess we're fine. Hey, wait, who are those guys on the roof-tops? They weren't there before...

14:15

Those guys have guns! So I guess that means I shoot them? Yeah, that sounds about right.

We're working our way through the favela and all of a sudden I hear Royce say Meat's down...I hope it ain't lethal or anything, but then again Meat kinda deserves getting shot in the ass. Consider it payback for all the practical jokes he pulled on me. Karma is a bitch.

Maybe he should start watching "My Name is Earl". That show could've taught him a thing or two.

14:27

Okay, out of the those slums now and I'm all alone. Captain Mactavish and Ghost are yelling maniacally in my headset to catch Rojas. I've taken to calling him that instead, so I don't start singing again. I definitely don't need to be singing right now.

These people are very mean. I haven't done a single thing to them and they're shooting me and telling me to go home. Some lady was throwing her dishes at me from her window. One of them cracked me upside the head and now I have a headache. Great.

Running up to the roofs in the favela...Man, this is tough...

14:45

Why does Captain Mactavish make me do everything? Why does Ghost, Meat, Royce and the others get to sit back and relax? What the hell are they doing? Having tea and crumpets? I think NOT! When I get back, I'm going to demand to know why I'm subject to all the work.

Ugh, whatever...I'm at the top of the favela now and I can see this guy running along the rooftops. 'Aw shit...he's gonna get away...'

"No he's not." I freaked out a little because for a second, I thought Captain Mactavish was reading my mind, but then I realized it was just Ghost saying it out loud. Oh, silly me. The Captain bursts from the window in slow-mo (How did he make it slow-mo? The world is strange...) and smashes that guy into the car below.

...I wonder if Mactavish and Neo are related?

15:00

Well, we got that Rojas guy, so I guess we're going home now.

"Bullocks!" I heard Ghost yell into his reciever. "Commands got their heads up thier arse."

Oh, you are shitting me...we're stranded in Brazil with a bunch of crazy people wanting to kill us and we don't have a RIDE?

"I know a guy. Is there a nearby payphone? Do those still exist?" Captain Mactavish asks.

Huh...payphone...we've got some of the most hitech means of communication in the world and this guy wants to use a payphone? What a confusing day this is...

I just hope it doesn't get any worse than it is.

Poor, poor Roach is having a weird/terrible day. Please, please review and tell me if you like! If enough people like this and review, I'll continue into "The Hornet's Next" mission!

Sgt. Foley: RAMIREZ! Tell the readers to review this story immediatly if they want the next chapter to be posted! Oh, and GET ME SOME KOOL-AID!

Ramirez: -sigh- Please review everyone...for poor people like me and Roach who have to do EVERYTHING.