Prologue:

Pein calmly observed the nine people in front of him. He did nothing but observe, yet several were squirming under the force of his gaze.

"Well?" he said icily after a few minutes. The other Akatsuki members remained silent. "Does someone want to explain to me just what happened here?"

Silence.

Pein sighed. "How did you manage to do this?" He gestured calmly behind him. The gazes of the Akatsuki members shifted from their leader to the smoking ruins of the headquarters behind him.

Tobi gulped loudly.

"Tobi, do you care to explain?"

"Well, Leader-sama, it happened like this…"

XxX

Tobi slowly woke and stared blearily at the ceiling. He could hear Zetsu's even breathing from the other side of the room.

"What's today?" whispered Tobi quietly to himself. He had the feeling that today was special in some way. It wasn't until three minutes later that Tobi remembered why. It was April Fool's Day, his favorite day of the year. He got to be annoying as he wanted, and no one could blame for having simply eaten too much sugar.

Tobi put his hands behind his head and smiled, thinking of the pranks he was going to pull.

xXx

When Kisame awoke, he had an unnerving feeling that today he would be visiting hell. This, not being the usual feeling one has when they wake up, worried him slightly.

"Itachi?" he said to his partner.

"What?" responded Itachi, turning to face him. Kisame stifled a laugh. Itachi's hair was absolutely ridiculous.

"What day is today?" he choked out.

Itachi glared at him, sure he was being laughed at, but not sure why, "April first, why?"

Kisame's good humor immediately faded and he stared sadly at the floor.

"Oh," he replied dejectedly.

"Why?" Itachi repeated.

"No reason. It's just….I didn't want to die so soon."

XxX

Hidan, as he did on most days, awoke with a swear.

Kakuzu, as he did on most days, awoke to a swear. This did not please him. He threw a kunai at Hidan.

This did not please Hidan. He swore again.

This aggravated Kakuzu. He threw another kunai.

This aggravated Hidan. He swore again.

"Shut up," roared Kakuzu.

Hidan swore.

Kakuzu tackled him.

Hidan screamed.

Kakuzu punched him.

There was a fight.

Fifteen minutes later, Kakuzu was sulking, Hidan was praying, and a nearby bird was scared out of its wits.

"What's the date?" growled Hidan.

"Why do you care? You're too stupid to know what it means."

Hidan gave him the finger.

"But if you must know, it's April first."

Hidan swore.

xXx

Zetsu was very calm when he woke. He had realized the night before what day it was going to be, and he had now resigned himself to a very painful existence. After all, he had been partnered with Tobi for quite some time, and knew perfectly well what the little bastard could do.

He sighed deeply and turned over, determined to get at least five more minutes of sleep before all hell broke loose.

XxX

Konan was annoyed. Very annoyed. Hidan and Kakuzu and their stupid fighting had woken her up, and she could not fall asleep again for anything. And Tobi would be her aunt before she got out of bed at seven.

She rolled on to her stomach and squished a pillow down on her head. She remained like this for several seconds before a thought occurred to her. A horrible, thought. A terrible, horrible thought.

It was April Fool's Day.

She began to cry.

xXx

Deidara was staring at the ceiling of the room he shared with Sasori, thinking vaguely of some of the more spectacular explosions he had created. A small smile graced his lips, as he pictured the things going up in flames.

After a long while of contemplating, he turned his head to look at the calendar beside his bed.

April first.

When Sasori awoke, not long later, he turned to find his partner in the strangest position. Deidara was staring straight up at the ceiling, his hands clutching desperately at the blankets pulled up his chin, his eyes huge, sweat dotting his brow, and his entire body quivering slightly.

"Uh…Deidara? You ok?" asked Sasori, mildly concerned for his partner's mental health.

Slowly, Deidara turned his head to face Sasori, his eyes still huge, the pupils barely larger than a pinprick.

"It's April Fool's Day," he whispered hoarsely.

Without being able to stop himself, Sasori felt his hands clutch at his blankets and pull them up to his chin, he gaze turned to the ceiling and his eyes grew wide, sweat dotted his brow, and his entire body began to quiver slightly.

XxX

Pein stood by his bed, peering out of a window. He watched as a flock of birds burst into the sky. There was no emotion on his face, but inside he was alternately terrified and relieved.

He was not an idiot, and he realized that because of the date, terrible things would be happening. Knowing Tobi's true identity, he was well aware of what the man could do. Pein would happily rather be locked in a room with hungry lion then be around Tobi on such a day. Thankfully, he was the leader, and therefore, could do whatever he wanted.

xXx

The Akatsuki members assembled themselves into the living room, having been called there by Pein.

"What the fuck do you want?" hissed Hidan, glaring at the leader. Pein glanced about to make sure everyone was listening and then smiled slightly. Very slightly. So slightly that the only person who noticed was Deidara, and that was because he happened to be sitting closest.

"I just wanted to inform you that I will be gone all of today on a mission. I also wanted to inform you that I will not tolerate any puerile behavior, understood?"

"The fuck's puerile mean?"

Pein sighed.

"It means childish, you idiot," Kakuzu snapped at his partner.

"Oh… Wait, who you calling an idiot, fucker?" asked Hidan, enraged.

Konan threw a paper plane at him. This had no effect except to ruin the plane. Pein used a more direct approach. He simply raised a hand and the two flew away from each other.

"Behavior such as this," Pein admonished them quietly.

Kakuzu immediately regained his composure and looked, for all the world, like he meant to be pinned to wall, five feet from the ground. Hidan glared at Pein and muttered a few choice cuss words, the only understandable one being 'shithead'.

Pein let him fall to the floor. He smirked when Hidan swore again and limped to the couch. Kakuzu simply stood and crossed his arms, remaining calm.

"Anyway, I just want this place to be standing when I get back. See to it that it is." And, with that, he left.

Famous last words.