AN: A lot of questions are asked and answered in this chapter…well, some are answered.

P.S. Dib's a violent mofo isn't he?

Chapter Three: Tallest Expectations

Dib scowled from across the kitchen table at Zim, who was trying his hardest to get a kiss from Dib.

"Come on, Dib-love, one little kiss won't hurt. Is it not in your earthly traditions for two mates to kiss each other at their time of bonding?"

Dib rolled his eyes and put in head in his hand in exasperation.

"That's only if said people are …'mates'. We're not 'mates', Zim, we're partners in a school project meant to show the mentally deficient how to care for children!"

Zim sighed and slammed his head down on the table. He mumbled something into the table that Dib almost couldn't hear.

"…What?"

Zim lifted his head from the table and looked at Dib sadly.

"Could we be?"

Dib looked at Zim in confusion. He had never seen such a hopeless look in the Irken's eyes before. It made him feel…guilty.

I never thought Zim was actually trying to get my affection, I thought he was just being perverted or toying with me.

"I-I don't know, Zim. I would have to actually know you to decide if I wanted to be with you. Are you serious?"

Zim slapped a hand harshly against the table.

"Of course Zim is serious! Get to know Zim, and maybe even become Zim's mate! We will do dating, and go through the love boat of watery demise ride!"

Dib couldn't help but chuckle at Zim's enthusiasm, maybe going out with him wouldn't be so bad, but one thing was still bothering him.

"Why me?"

"Eh?"

Dib sighed deeply.

"Why'd you choose me? Why not Tak? Or Gaz?"

There was a pause, then the both of shuddered in repulsion.

"Right, never mind, but still."

Zim smiled and leaned forward.

"What better mate is there than someone who is almost you're equal?"

Dib looked at him with a blank face.

Almost?

Then he sighed dramatically and leaned back in his chair.

"Alright, Zim, we'll go on one date, but no groping! Or kissing unless I agree, deal?"

By the time he had finished his statement Zim was dancing on the table and singing 'go Zimmy, it's ya birthday, not for real-real, just for play-play!'. He paused mid-step and nodded.

"Zim shall play by your pathetic rules, Dib-squeak!"

He quickly leapt down from his position on the table to the chair he had been sitting on, clutching the egg that had been lying on the table in one tight fist.

Crrrck

Apparently too tight.

Dib groaned into his palm for the tenth time that day, already knowing the sticky, yellow mess that awaited him on the floor.

"Zim…you've broken thirteen eggs and maimed one beyond recognition, at this rate you wouldn't last a week past conception!"

Zim huffed indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It is not Zim's fault that earth smeets are so flimsy, with their fragile shells and what not."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer. Just get another egg from the carton…"

Zim duck marched to the refrigerator, mocking Dib all the way by making flopping motions with his fingers. Dib tapped his fingers in agitation against the table.

"I can see you. If you're going to mock someone you should do it behind their back."

Zim waved a hand in dismissal.

"Potato, tomato. It's all the same to Zim."

"…..just get the damn egg, Zim."

Dib rubbed a hand wearily across his face. Besides Zim's weirdness, this week was as normal as he could wish it was. There was no invasion of his personal space by the green alien and it actually gave him a chance to study Zim up close.

In the past six years Zim seemed to have grown into a good height of 5'7'', which made them almost equal in height. Of course with his outward observations came the study of how Zim had changed mentally over the years. It seemed his plans of world conquest had died out, almost as if it didn't take precedence over his daily life. The only thing he could truly say hadn't changed about Zim was his lack of understanding of human phrases, lifestyles, television shows, foods, holidays, holidays…just humans in general. All in all, he was actually quite pleasant to be around. Plus, he could actually get all of his math homework done, thanks to Zim.

Not to say he didn't know his math, but some problems didn't make any sense.

He shook himself and picked up the brown egg that Zim had picked and inspected it for cracks.

"Alright, this time I'll do the designs. It's hard trying to explain whatever you come up with; even though that other girl in class drew antennas on her egg too…and extra arms."

He drew a simple sketch of a cartoon baby face, complete with a single curl of hair at the top of its head. Zim looked at it critically.

"Why does our smeet only have one antenna? Is it defected? IT MUST BE DESTROYED!"

Dib punched him in the face, cutting his rant short.

"It's called hair, you idiot! No more antennas or any other weird shit. I mean it, Zim."

Zim rubbed the bruise on his face, glaring at Dib with no real fire in his eyes. Dib rolled his eyes, knowing that Zim wasn't going to do anything violent towards him. The last time they fought was practically five years ago. He leaned his head on his hand as he thought about it.

"We never fight anymore, what happened to 'I hit you, you try to annihilate me'?"

Zim pounded his fist against his chest, before going into a coughing fit.

"On Irk, the males treat their mates with upmost care. Non-invaders are the only ones able to carry smeets, so we tend to treat them like the tallest themselves."

He jumped on the table (again) and pointed an accusing finger at Dib.

"Unlike you filthy dirt monkeys who like to beat each other senseless and take mates schlooglats without permission! You disgust Zim!"

Dib sighed, making a side note to look up 'schlooglats' in the database later.

"…You've been watching TV again, haven't you?"

"Zim finds it interesting, and GIR is actually learning few things from it as well. So it's a win-win situation."

"Shouldn't you be doing other things, like, planning the destruction of the world or something?"

"Zim has no need to destroy this planet anymore."

Dib flinched at the coldness in Zim's voice and decided to change the subject, for now.

Looks like I've got some research to do. A lot has changed in these past years.

He idly twirled the egg on his index finger, thinking about the end of this project and finally turning in the egg, telling the teacher to shove it and moving on with his life. Zim watched his movements, eyes glazed to the point where they were almost glassy in appearance.

"Dib, will you really go on a date with me? Will you give Zim a chance?"

The egg stopped twirling.

Dib closed his eyes, thinking about the sincerity he heard in Zim's voice. There was no malice or hint of a trap. Could he really go out with Zim? He swallowed, trying to moisten his dry throat.

"I…really don't know, Zim. How do I know this isn't a trap or that you're going to kill me?"

Zim jumped on the table again, hands on his hips and head up proudly.

"Zim will never betray his Dib-love! Zim has changed!"

He got down on one knee, took Dib's hand in his own and looked him in the eyes.

"Just give me a chance, Dib"

Dib blushed and looked away.

"You don't have to be so dramatic. I guess one date won't hurt."

What am I getting myself into?

AN: Yay! OOC ftw! Err-I mean R&R peeps!