A/N: Yeah, another Sesshoumaru-Rin story -_- I'm making another one because I finished watching the Final Act series of InuYasha, and well, if you haven't seen it, just know this: In the last episode, Rin is 12, and leaves Sesshoumaru to join Kaede to 'learn how to live in a human village.' Hmm. Anyway, this is just a diary of hers, but when she turns 18, it'll turn into an actual story. Oh, the diary goes in a pattern of every ten days or so. It'll basically be 10-20-30, and the special days. Not every single day.

Disclaimer: Of course, everything in this story belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

January 26th Today, Rin came to a human village where Kagome and InuYasha lived. Sesshoumaru-sama said we were just going to talk to Kaede, but then as we were leaving… Kaede told Rin I should stay here to learn the ways of a human village! She said I could go back to Milord when I'm done… and all Milord said was "Okay." And left! He left Rin all alone… Rin felt empty. Until Rin got this diary from Kaede, Rin didn't know what to do. But, this Rin now has things to do and learn… so bye?

January 30th Today, Kaede told Rin to stop 'talking in the third person'. She taught Rin that that is wrong, and not normal. Rin is trying hard to stop doing this, but Rin doesn't feel the same saying "I am" instead of "Rin is"! Rin is also learning how to read and write, Kaede's helping me a lot and Rin feels "embarrassed". Kaede helped me spell that.

February 10thToday, Rin figured out just how hard Kanji is. Kaede and Rin were going over symbols, but all Rin can remember is the symbol for 'tree' in Katakana looks like one, and the Kanji for 'forest' is a cluster of three Katakana trees! Rin needs to go to sleep now, bye!

February 16thSesshoumaru-sama visited Rin today! It was only for a few minutes, but it was still nice getting a new kimono. This one was white and had an orange flower pattern near the bottom. It felt really nice, and Rin is gonna wear it whenever she can!

February 20th Kaede told me (I'm trying hard not to 'talk in third person') that I looked really happy when Sesshoumaru-sama came. It meant he didn't just forget about me, which is what I fear. Well, Kaede is teaching me how to make medicines and which herbs to use. She told Rin that Rin is going to learn a lot in the next 6 years.

February 28th I do not like this 'first-person' talking. But Rin is very tired today, so I will sleep soon… Rin and Kaede… I mean, Kaede and I went out gathering herbs for hours and hours with no end in sight… but, I did find a nice cliff with a view near Kaede's house… shrine… thing. Tomorrow's another long day Kaede told me, so I better sleep! Goodnight!

March 10th The last few weeks have been tiring… I've been staying up late trying to learn to read and write without the help of Kaede. It's getting easier, but it's still very hard. All of my time is spent learning herbs and medicines from Kaede, learning to read or write, or sleeping. I don't remember the last time I had fun.

March 20thI've been having trouble concentrating, I keep falling asleep! I also miss Sesshoumaru-sama. Every night before I sleep, I always wish for him to come visit again. He told me he'd try to visit every month if it allowed, but I don't think that will happen. I wonder if he'd be proud of what I was doing?

March 26thSesshoumaru-sama came today, finally after all my wishing! He came during the afternoon and we walked to a close meadow so I could pick flowers for him. They were really pretty, and it felt good talking to him, even if he didn't say anything back. At sunset, we started walking back to the village, and after he talked to Lady Kaede, he left. It started raining that night…

March 30th I stayed out in the rain to get herbs, but I hadn't been sleeping, and I finally got so tired I just fell down and slept. It was still raining when I woke up to boys kicking mud on me, so I quickly got my basket of herbs and tried to run, but those boys were fast. After they were done, I walked home in silence, and got a fresh kimono to go and change into after I bathed. Lady Kaede didn't ask what happened to my dirty kimono, or why I've gotten sick. I hope I don't stay sick and 'lend' myself to writing these long stories all day. Maybe I'll become a writer? I hope not. That sounds boring.

April 9th I didn't get over my cold quickly, well Lady Kaede said I had, since it wasn't really a cold she had said. She called it ammonia or nyamonia or something. I asked her how to write the kanji for it… it's pneumonia. I've seen it before; it was next to a marking of 'miasma'. I remembered it because Jaken got so scared of seeing it! I forgot all about Jaken… I think he stayed with Lady Kaede when Sesshoumaru visited… I don't know, sadly.

April 24thToday is my 13th birthday. Lady Kaede was nice enough to give me the day off and let me wander. I found some dandelion puffs, and I made 3 wishes… I can't tell you what they are, but one came true today! Sesshoumaru-sama came and visited again! I hadn't asked for a present, but he gave me a new kimono! I always loved the kimono's he brought. I told him of what I was learning. For once, he had replied to me 'That's good." I was so happy! Later on, we went back to the village, and I got to see Jaken and say hello. Sesshoumaru-sama again was talking to Lady Kaede in private, so me and Jaken were by Ah-Un. Jaken told me that they only came to get new medicines for wounds from the Lady, and it wasn't for me, and that I just burdened Milord with visiting him. I knew it wasn't true… but… it still hurt. This story is taking up three pages of my journal, and it's getting tear stains… I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.

April 31stI looked closely at my new kimono today. It was a deep purple, this time with a golden lily pattern going from the right shoulder, down to where it stops above my ankles. It feels even nicer than the old one Sesshoumaru-sama gave me!

May 10th Even though I said it couldn't be true, it still hurts me when I think about what Jaken said. And for some reason, Lady Kaede has been awfully nice to me lately. I hope she hasn't been reading this journal! It'd be embarrassing…

May 20th About 2 days ago I found myself bleeding. I won't say it where it was coming from, but I asked Lady Kaede for bandages and she kept asking why until I told her I was bleeding. She then told me it was normal after she saw the blood stains on my yukata! I don't believe her at all, and she said it'll stop in a few days and come back about every 28 days. I told her I didn't want that to happen, and all she did was laugh and say if I wanted children I would. What does bleeding and babies have to do with one another? Oh well. I feel sick, goodnight.

May 30th Hmm. Milord hasn't visited me. Oh well, I knew he wouldn't come every month, but still… it makes me sad and I do not know why.

June 10th It's getting really hot. Because of this, Lady Kaede is spending more time outside, so we visited the townspeople who didn't come regularly for medical check-ups. That other girl, Kagome, came too. She's training to be a miko, and she practices with Kaede while I study. We hadn't talked much before, but she really is nice. She asked if her big-brother ever visited. I was confused until she told me the custom of calling the brother of your husband your 'big brother'. I still didn't understand until she reminded me Sesshoumaru-sama and InuYasha were related. I had forgotten! I felt so stupid… goodnight.

June 20thThe heat hasn't peaked yet, but it is still quite hot. But, it rains and storms a lot, so the nights are even cooler than expected. And, I know it's silly, but I'm scared of lightning, and the dark is scary too. But, it gets less scary when I remember the days when it would storm, and Sesshoumaru-sama would let me rest my head on his Mokumoku. It made me feel safe, like when I was little and my mama let me rest my head in her lap during storms. Well, goodnight.

June 28th I don't think Milord is going to visit this month either. I don't blame him; he must get awfully hot in all the things he wears. I remember talking to InuYasha about it, because he was licking himself and I asked why, since it seemed to be a very dirty habit. He just said dogs do it, and this time I was smart enough to put the pieces together. I still can't stop laughing at the thought of Sesshoumaru-sama licking himself the way InuYasha was! I wish I could write more, but it's late. Goodnight!

July 10th Lady Kaede was being mean today, calling me 'lazy' like Jaken, and she wouldn't help me write the correct kanji for words I was trying to learn! I yelled at her, and she yelled back, asking if I was on my 'menses'. I didn't understand, until she told me it's when I bleed. I don't know why I suddenly became so rude, but I shouted 'It's none of your business, you old hag!' and I ran to my room. I'll apologize in the morning. Goodnight.

July 20th I decided that the morning after our fight, I would make Lady Kaede some herbal tea, the kind she loves. When she awoke, after I had cleaned and polished everything inside her shrine, she sat down and sipped tea. I could see her choke on it. 'Too sweet. You wasted a lot of sugar for this tea…' she said. I was crushed, as I didn't even put in any sugar! She put her cup down, and told me she had read my journal last night. She told I shouldn't say such things about Milord, and about everyone else. She also found out why I was sick! She knew the boys, and would go talk to them, which isn't what I needed. So… I got up, got some of my things, and ran away. I don't know where I am now, as I'm lost in the forest. It's night, so I'll find a clearing and sleep. I'm scared…

July 31st I think today is the 31st anyway. I don't know, I've been trying to count the days as they go by. It's raining a lot this summer, and it keeps the demons away, but it smells bad and it's always muddy. Another month goes by, with no Sesshoumaru-sama I think. I feel sick, and I'm on my 'menses' again. I haven't felt warmth in a while. Maybe I should to the village? I'll walk towards it, but if they don't care enough o get me, I'll stay here!

August 10th About 4 days ago, I collapsed from 'exhaustion' near the entrance or end to the forest, near the Bone Eater Well. I hadn't had any food or water, and my skin was now a reddish color from being in the sun too long. It hurt, and it still does hurt now. I'm thankful Kagome was returning from her time for some supplies for her newly pregnant self, and she found me. Well, actually, InuYasha found me, but waited for Kagome. He didn't want to move me. They took me back to the village, and apologized to Lady Kaede. She told me to never do it again. I don't know why I did that thing, either. I can't survive on my own… goodnight.

August 20thMy skin was peeling off! It felt good to take off, but it was weird. Kagome said I was burned, and it's okay. My new skin hurts, but feels really soft and looks pretty. I asked Lady Kaede if Sesshoumaru-sama showed up again. She said no. I've resumed normal life again, with Lady Kaede teaching me herbal medicines and teas, which I am now very good at. She told me she will be leaving for a two-month trip for rare herbs, and me and the miko Kagome must look over the shrine. I thought miko's weren't supposed to have kids? Well, goodnight.

August 30th By sunset of tomorrow, Lady Kaede will have left. Kagome came and put a strange paste on my new skin- I think she called it 'aloe vera', which she taught me how to make for when I needed it. I have heard of aloe, but not vera. It was… strange. But I'm happy; Kagome's going to teach me new words! Goodnight!

September 10th So far, everything is going good. I've learned many new things from the miko. She was nice to me when I was little, and still is. I asked her about herself and her past, and she told me all about how she came to the feudal era and everything. I told her about me when she asked. She hugged me when I told her about my mama and papa and family, the wolves… and dying. Twice. She told me InuYasha will come stay the night with her and I on the new moon, in a few weeks. I didn't say much after that. Good night.

September 17th I'm happy I'm writing more and more every day! It's good practice, and my new handwriting is so much better than my handwriting from just a few months ago. Also, Sesshoumaru-sama showed up again! He came with another new kimono, something I didn't expect. I told Sesshoumaru-sama everything that had happened, besides me running away and being disrespectful. I asked Milord if he ever didn't like me. He didn't even give me a 'Hn.'. Later, to break the uncomfortable silence, I asked if he still wanted me to come back when I'm older. He told me, 'It's up to you, Rin.' And so, we walked back to the shrine, since it was very late. InuYasha was there, and Sesshoumaru-sama said nothing, and walked out, calling for Jaken. I think InuYasha was surprised. Before Jaken ran out, he told me I had annoyed Milord. I sat in the dark, just thinking for a very long time. It's almost sunrise, I should at least sleep a little bit… Good… morning? Night?

September 30th InuYasha came back last night, sitting outside just looking at the sky. It was night, so I couldn't say I wanted to go pick flowers to Kagome. I told her honestly, I wanted to talk to InuYasha, and she let me! She's too nice, I think. I walked out and sat by him, wearing the new orange kimono with a blue flower pattern, this time only at the bottom and top. InuYasha just looked over at me. He didn't seem like his brother, he actually talked back to me. I sat staring at the stars until it happened- it was long past sunset, and it was close to midnight I 'approximated'. Suddenly, InuYasha's hair became black, and his nails became normal, and I swore his eyes changed color… I think… I think… he was a human now. I heard Jaken tell me this was another way Milord was superior to InuYasha. InuYasha still hadn't said anything. So, I asked him about his past. He fought with me about why he should, until Kagome came out and asked to hear it too. I'm learning so much. Maybe it's good for me to be here. Well, I've written a lot and my hand hurts so much… Goodnight!

October 10th The next day after that, I asked InuYasha about Sesshoumaru-sama before InuYasha became hanyou again and left. He told me a lot—and he had called his mother a 'purebred bitch'. I had heard that word before, but I didn't know what it was, so I didn't say it. It also didn't seem nice, but if it accompanied purebred, it couldn't be bad, right? I'm not certain. His mother seemed nice, anyway. She brought me to life after Sesshoumaru-sama couldn't. I think Sesshoumaru-sama really loves me secretly, like a father loves his daughter. I hope he's proud of me. Whatever Jaken says can't be true, then! Another night where I learned so much and am going to sleep happy. Goodnight.

October 24th Lord Sesshoumaru visited again yesterday, making me just that much happier. He came during the afternoon finally, so we could talk as I picked flowers, and even though it was getting cold again, the prettiest flowers endured and let me pick them. It was nearly nightfall when we headed back, but I asked him if he'd like to see the cliff I had found so long ago. He agreed, and we—I mean I talked, and the last I remember is him almost smiling when I laid my head against his Mokumoku like I used to. Kagome woke me up this morning, telling me Lord Sesshoumaru had carried me back to my room when I had fallen asleep. She said I was adorable and smiling as I slept. I'm going to bed happy again tonight, so goodnight!

November 13th Lady Kaede came back a few days ago. She had a lot—and I really do mean a lot- of rare herbs and herbs from not here. She said someday I could go with her, and it sounded 'amusing'. Lord Sesshoumaru had said that word a few times. Kagome said I was a very nice and polite young 'woman'… it felt weird hearing that. But Lady Kaede laughed and said 'that she is, that she is!' It made me kind of warm inside. Like how I feel when I see Sesshoumaru-sama smile, even if it's only been less than 3 times, it's still nice. Well, time for bed.

November 23rd Tonight it started snowing, so I didn't expect Lord Sesshoumaru to come within the next few days of November to visit. Oh well. I've spent most of my time reading and writing, since we're sorting the herbs and waiting until spring to use them. Lady Kaede has been so 'gracious' to me! She's taught me so much, and I'm happy. Goodnight.

December 3rd It's bitter and cold, and my menses have begun again. Oh, it makes me feel so sick. Those stupid boys saw me again today, and kept yelling at me and calling me a 'prude' and 'flat-chested'. I thought prude meant shriveled up? And I told Lady Kagome about what they said to me, and she said sorry and wouldn't tell me what they meant.

December 16th I don't think I'll ever stop crying. It happened two days ago, when I was getting firewood… those stupid boys- 5 of them- came up to me and pushed me from behind. I had been getting over a cold, and got into a coughing fit. I felt so weak. They started calling me mean names, but the ones that stick out were 'no-breasts' and 'flat-chested', 'tattle tale', and that word… 'bitch'. They, from what I heard, were kicking me and hurting me all because Lady Kaede told their parents and they got in a lot of trouble. I was already weak, and I started coughing up blood. I don't understand why this happened, or why they left so abruptly. No one came for me until the day after, which was yesterday. My blood was left on the freshly fallen snow, and it reminded me of my mama's blood in snow, and then my sisters, and then my youngest brothers. Everybody else was inside spilling their blood. I haven't slept since Kagome found me, and I'm recovering right now… but I don't think I'll stop crying for a while.

December 27th Lord Sesshoumaru visited me today, 'despite' it was snowing. I was sitting outside on the steps when he came. He asked why I wasn't inside in this cold, and I was somewhat happy he cared. I stood up and hugged him. He didn't push me away, but he also didn't pull me in like I always hoped he would once do. I told him in another month it will have been a year, and I don't think I could spend another year here. I asked to go back with him, and after I let go of him he asked me a simple 'Why.' No emotion or hint of concern, but that's normal for him. I told him about the mean boys and how I had finally let myself go and cried for days and how ashamed he must be. All he said was 'I'll take care of it' and left. I told him goodbye, and even now I don't understand what went on. Hmm, well, goodnight.

A/N: I hope you liked it. Any reviews I'll answer next chapter. If you think anybody is OOC, just remember Rin never got used to living in a village with other kids, and she much less didn't learn how to deal with problems other than holding it in, etc. from when she was with Sesshoumaru. Also, a Mokumoku is the pelt around Sesshoumaru's shoulder. It's a pelt that signifies dignity and royalty. Thanks for reading :)