"No Rebecca no! I don't want you dick, I don't want it!" Desmond shrieked.

Shaun stood over the novice assassin who laid thrashing in his own bed. Several bottles of liquor stood empty on a nearby desk. It was already an hour past the time Desmond usually awoke and they could start working, and Shaun was having none of it.

Cold water splashed down onto Desmond's face and the ex-bartender spat and sputtered into wakefulness. He blinked blearily up at Shaun until a light of recognition showed in his eyes.

"Shit Shaun, it was all so godawful!" he sat up and grabbed hold of the Brit, hugging him tightly around the waist. "First I was living with Altair, and I think we had sex! And then I was being forced to marry you, so I killed myself! And then Al Maulim was there, and he ate me! And then Lucy tried to tentacle rape me, but Ezio saved me, but then he didn't really save me, he just took me to Leonardo, who wanted to rape me too! But then it was snowing, and I thought that it was nice, and we made snowmen, but then there were these cookies, and I really wanted some, but they were Lucy's and Rebecca's and because I ate them, Lucy shot my foot off and Rebecca started hitting me with a giant dildo-"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about, you fool!" Shaun spat contemptuously, shaking off the panicked novice. "For a bartender, the alcohol certainly doesn't agree with you!" he walked out of Desmond's room, shutting the door angrily. Only to open it again and poke his head through "We're starting in forty-five minutes. Go wash up and put some clothes on, you idiot!"

After the door slammed again, Desmond looked around. He was back in his own room again and everything seemed back to normal. He had a splitting headache though and slouched back down into the bed.

"I guess it was really all just a dream?" he said softly. He rose with complaint and staggered into the bathroom. He turned on the tap and washed his face. There were no vampire-ghosts, or scary bear women, or Leonardo Di Vinci's here. Life was good. Damn good.

He sighed in contentment. He pulled off the shirt he was wearing and started to get a shower ready. Then something caught his eye. On the floor where he had thrown the shirt he saw something familiar and his heart dropped. It was the hamburger shirt.

Fin.

AN: Ohohohoho! This story is now complete! I want to thank everyone who has read this story. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope that its entertainment value outweighs the fact that it's not very well written! Thank you again everyone, and I hope you enjoyed it. Happy New Years!