Heartache

chapter 1: Stained

Ivory furry, lay on a baby blue plush carpet, his eyes were red and puffy, tears continued to slip from his eyes, and stain and matt his peach furred cheeks. He turned his head to the side, his bottom lip began to quiver as he saw his beautiful azure mate, with a green little box, open, next to him. The contents from the box were scattered around the azure one, bandages, cotton buds, medical creams,clips, and so on. Half of the bandages being covered in little crimson spots, and the others being wrapped around ivory, blood stained wrists. The white hedgehog closed his eyes and turned his head away, to ashamed to even look at his mate. He wanted to say he was sorry, and never do it again, but that would be repeating old lies.

Once the azure hedgehog had finished cleaning and wrapping his young lover's wounds, he could only stare at the fluffy creature. He didn't understand how someone so loveable, pure, and happy, could do this to themselves. A sigh passed his peach lips, of course he was angry at his lover for breaking his promise, but he alo knew that life right now was being hard on him. He placed his gloved hand on the top of the younger hedgehogs head, his fingers gently rubbing behind adorable ivory ears. "Why are you doing this to yourself, Silver?" Azure whispered, gently lowering his head and resting it atop his lovers.

The younger only sighed, as he opened his eyes. His amber orbs stared up at Sonic. "I-I'm sorry, Soikku." he muttered and he lifted up his arms, looking at the work his lover had done. It made him him feel sick, and ashamed of what he was doing to himself, this all started when he had recieved a letter from a certain someone. That someone being his old lover. Silver never showed Sonic the letter or even talked about it, he simply just hid it, and read every night before he went to sleep. Everytime he read the letter he felt as if his heart was being stabbed with a thousand needles. He never stopped loving Shadow, even though he left. And now he feared that if Shadow came back, it would complicate things. And possibly someone could ed up with a few broken limbs. Oh dear, he didnt want that.

Sonic bit down on Silver's left ear, earning a pained cry from the ivory one. "Why are you hurting yourself Silver? Are you unhappy with me? Is that it?" Silver's eyes became wide. Of course he was happy with the famous Blue Blur, he was lucky to have him, lucky to be held by him, kissed, oohhh his kisses were simply devine. Silver was lucky, although, it was a it of an obsticale, when it came to telling people about their love for each other. Naturally, homosexual fanboys were disappointed, fagirls didn't seem to mind, as most of them find yaoi ADORABLE. But it wasn't just the fans, it was their own friends that they were more afraid of. They both feared for their lives at the thought of telling Miss Rose, but surprigly, the two didn't end up castrated. Merely hugged, and covered in gooey, nose blood. The rest seemed ok with their relationship two, everyone except Shadow. Well so it's assumed. Shadow had disappeared, after an argument with his boyfriend, Silver. It had almost been half a year he's been missing. Silver had assumed it was all his own fault that Shadow left, and found comfort in Sonic.

"I-I don't know why I do it Sonikku! But I know it's not cause of you! I love you!" cried the younger hedgehog, fresh tears slippig down his cheeks. He whimpered softly as he sat up, and looked over his shoulder at his blue lover. His ear fell flat against his skull, as he watched at his beautiful lover. Sometimes he wondered why Sonic was even with him. After his tiff with Shadow, he had thought himself as a 'useless, pathetic, undeserving, weak, horrible, maggot'.

Azure sighed and shook his head, he wrapped his arms around Silver's torso, and nuzzled into the fluffy mane at the back of his neck. "If you loved me Silver, you'd stop this or at least give me a proper reason as to why your doing it in the first place. " Soinic rested his chin on Silver's shoulder, his emerald eyes gazed down at the albino's wrists. Looking at this, made his heart ache. He wanted to know why his once happy, bubbly,sweet lover, would do this to himself. "So? What's your reason Silver?" Soinc felt the younger shiver. "Please Sonikku, not now." The albino whimpered. "Please can we just go to bed?" He whined as he tured himself aroud half way, so he could see his lover.

Sonic wanted to find out right then and there what had been making his lover feel he needed to hurt himself. But he could see his young lover was tired, and figured that rest proably was a good idea. "Aw, alright Fluffy." he smiled as he picked up the ivory furry, and carried him bridal style to their bedroom.

Silver, enjoying being carried like this, kissed his lovers cheek, almost forgetting about his little 'incedent' dowstairs. Soon, they and made it to their room. Sonic gently placed his fluffy lover onto the unmade bed, pulling the blakets over him. He sat at the edge of the bed and watched as the adorable ivory hedgehog nuzzled into the pillows, his eyes closing, the hedgehog instantly falling asleep and entering his own little dream world.

A soft smile came to azure's peach lips, as he getly pleaced his hand on Silver's head, his fingers runing through his hash plant like hair. Sonic couldn't believe it, looking at this snow white angel now, you would never be able to tell he had been crying his eyes out. Sighing, Sonic leaned down and gently kissed his fluffy lover's cheek. "G'night, love." he whispered, before kissing Silver's tear stained cheek again, and getting up off the bed. The azure hedgehogs smiled was the replaced with a frown, as he walked over to the wardrobe. He opened it, and his gaze went downwards to the many pairs of red and white stripped sneakers. He bent down and picked out and old pair. He parked himself down onto the floor as she placed the runners onto his lap. Picking up the left runner, he shoved his hand into it, and pulled it back out. In his hand was a folded, yet slightly crumpled sheet of paper. Sonic unfoled the paper, and read the same words he had read four nights ago, when he had found it underneath Silver's pillow. He wasn't all that good at hiding things.

Jade eyes scanned the sheet of paper, re-reading every word.

Dear Silver

Please, forgive me for just, well being an ass and leaving like that. You probably do not wish to see me, but I MUST see you, I want to make amends, and explain why I have been gone for so long. I wont explain by letter, it's cowardly, even though I have already proven myself a coward by running off on you. Please, I wish to meet you at my old house, I'm just assuming you are still living there, but anyway, I will be outside that front door at exactly 2:15 p.m. this Saturday, alright. I shall see you then.

Love Shadow.

Everytime Sonic read this letter it made him choke. Shadow's coming back, and will probably expect Silver to welcome him back with open arms. "It's all your fault." Sonic muttered as he crumpled the letter in his hands. This letter was the cause of all of the problems. Deep down Sonic knew this was the reason why his lover was hurting himself. But he wasnt sure why, although it did occur to him, that since Silver accuses himself as being the reason Shadow left, perhaps hurting himself is his way of punishmet? He wasn't one hundred percent sure of that, though, but in the morning he will find out, he must.

End chapter one.

I'm not even sure if any of this makes sense, ah well I will let yaoi lovers (if you bother to read this) decide. R&R please.