Title: If You Want To

Pairing: Belldom

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Matt gets attacked, which leads to a change in his relationship to Dom.

Beta: The fabulous Dyna-Chaal.

Disclaimer: Muse don't belong to me. This never happened and in some parts we're glad for it.

AN: I am really really sorry. I shouldn't have done this, but I have someone I can blame for it and I'll gladly point her out to you: Dyna-Chaal is the one to blame, cause she is the one who introduced me to Muse and Museslash, which I have only been reading for a week. So please forgive me should one or all of them seem ooc, but I had this idea in my head and had to get it out.

AN2: This is a repost from my LJ account.

Blah, blah, blah - present time

Blah, blah, blah - flashbacks

Dom still couldn't believe what had happened at the bar some hours earlier. How dared that bitch to attack Matt? And the evening had started out so well. The gig had been a success, with them finishing with Knights, leaving Dom slightly knackered, as always, but happy. It had been after they had left the stage and had retreated to the dressing room that Tom had come in.

"You were great," the photographer said, "absolutely amazing."

"Don't say that too loudly," Matt joked lightly, "it might go to their heads."

Dom however noted that it wasn't said as the singer normally would. Something was different and as he met Chris and Tom's eyes he saw that they had noticed, too.

"You two wanna come to the after-party?" Chris asked, trying to lighten the mood. "Tom's paying. He lost a bet."

Matt looked up at Dom and the drummer could clearly see that he wanted to say no, but then Matt's soft voice reached his ears.

"Sure, why not. Can't hurt to get out a bit." While Matt said this, his eyes never left Dom's pleading with him to join them, and not to leave him alone. Dom knew the feeling. Being alone in a room full of people. That was the feeling he had most of the times when he wasn't at least with one of his best mates and sometimes even when he was with Chris and Tom. Never when he was with Matt, however.

Dom nodded. "I'll come too. Where?"

Tom smiled at the two of them brilliantly. "Great! The hotel bar of our hotel. We thought it was the best if we chose something closer to our rooms this time."

They had been at the bar of the hotel they were staying at in this town.

It already been late then; after all they had been celebrating another gig well done.

Dom knew that Matt had not really been in the mood to celebrate. The other man had, after all, just ended his relationship to his fiancée a few weeks ago. Matt had stayed nevertheless to do them a favour.

At this moment he wished Matt had just went up to his room the moment they reached the hotel. He held onto his best friend's hand, listening to the heart monitor.

At some point that woman had come in and had started to flirt with both Dom and Matt. Dom still blamed himself. He should have noticed that something was seriously wrong with her or just taken her to his room although he didn't want to. But the both of them had made clear that they had no intention of sleeping with her; Matt because he wasn't even in the mood to be there, while Dom, on the one hand, just hadn't been interested in her and, on the other, had made it his responsibility that evening, and in the last time to look out for the slightly younger man. Matt had been acting a bit strange since he and Gaia had broken up. So Dom had wanted to make sure his friend was okay that evening. It was the least he could do for him.

When she had finally realized that they weren't interested, she had pulled a knife, and, before one of them could understand what happened and could do anything, she had stabbed Matt in the abdomen. Before she could attack Dom, too, she had been restrained, but the worst damage Dom could imagine was already done.

Matt was hurt.

It had only taken a moment for Dom to register what had happened and an instant later he was on his knees beside his best friend pulling him into his lap and pressing his hands on his wound.

"Someone call an ambulance," he shouted, trying to stop the bleeding, and the wound was bleeding profously.

"They're already on their way," the barman said. "As well as the police, ", he added looking with contempt at the woman who had attacked Matt. She was being restrained by two of the other patrons.

"Hold on, Matt," Dom pleaded. "Help is on its way. Don't you dare die on me!"

At that moment Matt's eyes opened and grey met blue.

"I'm cold, Dom," he said nearly inaudible and Dom had to strain his ears to hear him.

"It'll be okay, you'll be okay," the drummer said. "Just stay awake and with me and everything will be alright. Just stay with me." He tried to soothe the other man, but he was pretty sure he was doing a terrible job.

"It hurts, Dom," Matt whimpered slightly.

"I know, love, the medics will be here soon. They'll give you something for the pain. Just don't leave me. We need you, I need you."

Matt's eyes, that had closed for a moment shot up again at those words.

"You mean that?" he asked before having a coughing fit that splattered his lips with blood. Dom tried to hold him as still as possible as to not aggravate the other's injury.

"Of course I mean that!" Dom exclaimed.

"I mean that you need me," Matt whispered and Dom felt tears spring to his eyes as they softened.

"Yeah…yeah, I meant that, too. I meant that especially", Dom said, his voice choked.

Matt smiled brilliantly through the pain. The medics chose that moment to arrive and set to work immediately.

"Good," Matt whispered as he was taken away from Dom, "because I love you."

Matt fell unconscious after that and Dom stared at his friend, not really understanding what the other had said.

"Anyone of you wants to ride with us?" one of the medics asked and Dom looked at the other members of the band who all nodded at him.

"I'll come with you," he said, climbing in the ambulance and taking one of Matt's hands in his.

They had been brought into the ER where Matt had been taken away from him for surgery.

Matt had been in there for hours, most of which Dom had spent pacing in the waiting area worrying.

And he had been right to, as he had learned later on, because Matt had flatlined three times during surgery.

The others had come in after about an hour and had waited with him until the doctor had arrived.

"Are you with Matthew Bellamy?" the white coated man asked. They all nodded, preparing for the worst. "Family?"

"No," Dom said around the lump in his throat. "We're his band members. But he put me down as the emergency contact should anything happen. How is he?"

"Well then, Mr …?"

"Howard. Dominic Howard."

"Okay, Mr Howard. We've been able to stabilize Mr Bellamy, but he lost much blood, which led to his heart giving out three times during the surgery. He's in coma right now and we have no idea if and when he'll wake up. We're sorry, but we did the best we can. There's nothing we can do, but wait now. We can only hope his will to live is strong enough, because he has to wake up on his own."

Dom sat down heavily. 'If he wakes up…' rang in his ears. 'If…'

And what if not? He knew that he couldn't live without the other man. The consequences too severe to even think about them. Without Matt there would be no more Muse. They had known each other for two thirds of their lives, had started making music together only shortly after getting to know each other.

Sure, a relationship with each other had always been out of bounds. You just don't start something with your best mates. It was kind of an unspoken and unwritten rule, but that didn't mean that Dom didn't love Matt above everything else. Their relationship was easy, much easier than it would be with any woman, because they just didn't understand that the music and the band would always come first.

But it wasn't that kind of physical, even though Matt and Dom were a lot more physical with each other than the others.

But they had always been there for each other. Matt had always been there for Dom to joke with, make music with, flirt with, in interviews mostly, just basically spend time with and do practically everything together.

"Dom?" Tom asked softly, laying a hand on his arm.

"Cancel the rest of the tour. There are only three gigs left anyway," Dom said flatly, "Just don't say anything about his condition just yet." Dom felt empty. He really hated to be in situations like this. At least normally Matt was there to take charge but now he was the one laying in the hospital bed. He ran a hand over his face, suddenly exhausted. When had been the last time he had slept? Right, last night, not even twenty hours ago. It certainly seemed longer.

"He'll wake up," Chris said. After Tom had nodded to them and left, he had sat down beside Dom and pulled the drummer into a short, assuring embrace. "'Cause he has you to wake up to."

Dom's head shot up at that.

"What do you mean?" he asked, somewhat bewildered.

"Didn't you hear him? He said he loved you and don't say now that you don't love him back, 'cause I know it'd be a lie.

Dom stared at his bandmate and long-time friend dumbfounded. How the hell did he know that? Had he screwed up at some point? Apart from this evening he meant. Did Matt know? Sure they had always joked about being together, but he had hoped that it wasn't obvious that he really felt something for him.

"Don't worry. Even if you tell the world now, they would just think that it was a PR gag. And Matt doesn't know that you love him back. Otherwise he would have started something much earlier. It's just obvious to the people outside who know the two of you that both of you are actually serious that you love each other. And don't worry. The other's and I are cool with it. In fact we've been placing bets on how long it'd take the two of you to come together," Chris smirked at Dom who looked at him with his mouth hanging open wide.

"You mean that?" the drummer finally asked once he found his voice back, after staring at the Chris for several minutes.

"Mr Howard?" a nurse interrupted them then.

"Yeah?" Dom looked up at her.

"You can see Mr Bellamy now. But only one person at a time for the moment." Dom nodded and the young woman left.

"We do," Chris continued their earlier conversation. "And now go to him, loverboy. We'll come back in a few hours so that you can go shower, and eat, and sleep for a few hours."

Dom nodded and went after the nurse to find out in which room Matt was.

.o0O0o.

By now a week had passed and Matt still hadn't woken up. Dom had spent the majority of the seven days in the hospital at his side, mostly holding his hand.

The doctor had even kicked him out of the room about twenty-four hours after the initial attack as Dom hadn't had left a minute by then. He had done this with the order for Dom to go home to shower and sleep for a few hours, forbidding him to come back for at least five hours.

After that he had come to a truce with Chris and Tom. He would stay at the hospital for most of the day and one of the others would switch with him somewhere around midnight, with Dom being back by six in the morning.

Both of the others of course had promised to call him should Matt's condition change in any way.

After about half a week Tom hadn't been able to keep what had happened from the fans and that Matt was in coma. That had led to a mass of letters of condolences, which had Dom caused nearly to lose it when he had found out about it.

Dom was totally exhausted after four days exclusively spent by Matt's side, but he wanted to speak to Tom before he went to bed.

It had been half an hour ago that he had switched positions with Chris, the bassist squeezing his shoulder softly as a sign of support and murmuring for him to go get some sleep.

They had told the world the day before about Matt, not enough time to get that much of a reaction of the public, or so Dom had thought.

As he entered Tom's room to ask the other man how the interview had went, however, he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the massive amount of letters and other stuff.

"What the…" Dom trailed off, marching over to the table picking up the first thing he could get his hands on. Tom chose that moment to enter the room, freezing at the sight of Dom in his room and with the card in his hands.

"What the fuck is this?" Dom demanded, stomping over to Tom waving the letter in the other man's face. Tom pursed his lips looking at the same time apologetic.

"That would be the reaction of the fans," his tone of voice clearly said what he thought of it and that was not very much. "I am sorry, you weren't meant to see that."

Dom's anger drained from him, giving way to desperation.

"They talk as if he's already dead," the drummer whispered brokenly. "He's just in coma. He'll wake up again soon." Dom paused before continuing more uncertainly. "He will wake up again, won't he?"

Tom drew him close and led him over to the bed.

"Of course he will. It might take a while, but he will. We just have to keep believing."

Dom's shoulders sagged in relief and he started to sob silently into Tom's shoulder. The photographer drew him closer rubbing his back soothingly as the drummer cried away all the stress of the last few days.

"I can't lose him," Dom whispered nearly inaudibly. "I just can't. Not now."

"And you won't. He'll wake up and then the two of you will have your happily ever after," Tom said smiling. "But now you need to sleep and to shower. You look like crap, mate. Matt wouldn't want you to make yourself sick over him. Go to your room now. Shoo!"

"Yes, mother," Dom smiled slightly. "And thanks. Thanks for being such a good friend."

"That's what friends are there for," Tom waved away. He led Dom over to the door. "You'll be okay on your own or do you want me to stay with you?"

"I'll be fine," Dom said.

"But you do remember what 'fine' stands for in 'The Italian Job', right?" Dom shook his head slightly. "It stands for freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional."

Dom laughed silently at that, brightening up if only slightly.

"Thanks, I needed that," he said, hugging Tom again, "what would I do without you?"

"You'd make yourself sick with worry. Now go and sleep. And for God's sake, Dom, take a shower, you smell."
Dom just smiled and left the room.

"At least I hope he'll be alright," Tom whispered into the now empty room, sighing in relief at the fact that Dom at least hadn't seen the demo tapes some tasteless people had send to apply for Matt's position as their lead singer. It would surely have broken his heart.

Dom was pulled out of his thoughts by a change of sounds in the hospital room. He looked up, trying to discern what had changed and his eyes widened when they fell on the heart monitor. Matt's heart rate was going up.

A moment later Dom felt the hand, he was holding, twitching ever so slightly, making him stare at it in wonderment not daring to look up at Matt's face, afraid that he was still unconscious.

"Dom?" a hoarse voice croaked and the drummer's eyes shot up, relief filling them.

"Matt," he breathed, "you're awake."

"What happened," the younger man asked confused.

"You've got stabbed and have been in coma for a week. Scared the hell out of me."

Matt's eyes were still full of questions and Dom could see the exact moment the singer remembered everything that had happened and what he had said shortly before he had lost consciousness by the drain of the last bit of colour from Matt's already pale face. Dom had no idea when he had learned to read the other man this well but on the other hand, they had known each other for twenty years.

"That doesn't change anything between us." Matt sounded slightly panicked and Dom could hear it in the beeping of the heart monitor as well how worked up he got.

"What I said I mean. Please say that it doesn't change anything between us."

"Oh, I think it will," Dom said and leaned forwards hoping that Matt had meant that he loved him that way. He kissed him on the lips after he had turned Matt's face to him with his left hand.

Matt's eyes went wide at the words, fear entering them, before they went even wider when Dom kissed him, making the fear dissipate and after a few moments the singer's eyes fell close as he kissed back.

Dom smiled into the kiss, hearing the beeping slow down again as Matt relaxed. It was nothing more than a tentive brushing of lips, but it easily felt like the best experience of Dom's whole life. They both sighed happily before the drummer drew back.

"I hope it will," Dom said smiling slightly. Matt smiled back shyly.

"If you want to…"

THE END