July 7, 2009

The room was dark and silent, no light steamed in through the covered windows. No fresh air blew in from the balcony doors. Elisa was still, completely lifeless lying on the couch. She hardly spoke since Michael had passed away. She ate very little and had not slept in days, she would not answer the phone or the knocking on her door.

She was numb and broken, there were only two people in the world that ever made her feel loved, her father and Michael and now they were both gone. Elisa could not even walk back into her and Michael's rented L.A home. After leaving the hospital she went to the first condo complex she could find and signed a lease within the hour.

She felt small and insignificant and blamed herself; she stayed awake every night going over every moment of her life with Michael wondering what she did wrong or what she could have done differently. Elisa wanted to be alone and mourn the loss of her fiancée and wanted nothing to do with the media circus that was swarming outside. The Jacksons were already being bombarded and they all seemed to hate it except Joseph and Jermaine who seemed to be doing interviews left and right.

Elisa did speak to Katherine a few times and she was just as cold and numb as Elisa. The kids were staying with her in her Encino compound and she was just as determined as Elisa to cut herself out from the world and media. She refused interviews and hardly left the property.

Many letters and requests were coming Elisa's way, everyone wanted to interview her from Barbra Walters to Oprah. Elisa ripped every letter to pieces and tossed them in the trash without even replying to them. She had no intention getting in front of a camera and talk to people that had once ridiculed and abandoned Michael. They might love him now but they loved him because he was gone and because he made good news.

What troubled Elisa the most was the fact that she never got a chance to say good bye or tell Michael that she loved him. When he whispered "I love you" into her ear she was so frightened and shocked looking into his lifeless eyes that she grew speechless. She would give anything to see him for a few moments, she just wanted to hold him and tell him that she loved him. She loved him more than she could ever describe or express.

Today was Michaels public memorial at The Staple Center, Katherine had called her that morning and left her a message inviting her to seat with the family but Elisa could not see Michael's casket. Seeing Michaels casket would mark in stone that he was really gone and Elisa could not handle that.

She knew she was being a coward but she did not care, she could not break down in front of thousands of strangers and she could not see Michael in that way. The image of him gasping for air was still branded in her memory and she did not need more morbid images filling the dark corners of her mind.

Elisa stared at the clock for most of that morning, she knew Michaels memorial was starting and she could not stop gazing at the minute hand. It was not moving fast enough, she wanted this day to be over. She could not turn on the T.V, she could not read the paper and she could not leave her condo. Everything in L.A from newspapers to billboards was covered with Michaels face.

Trying to distract herself Elisa began to clean her apartment, she went into every room trying to distract herself but it only made her think of Michael more. Every piece of clothing she folded reminded her of a time when she wore it with Michael. Every book she but back on the shelves reminded her of a discuss she had about it with Michael.

Even going into the bathroom and organizing her makeup and lotions made her think of him. She thought of all the times he complimented her on her beauty or told her she smelled nice, she felt like she was being tortured!

Finally she made her way to the living room and being to clear her coffee table of food crumbs and empty mugs and cups. As she cleared them her TV remote fall of the table and turned on the screen as it hit the ground. Elisa dropped the glasses and mugs she was holding shattering them on the table. She looked at the screen in fright as the news coverage from Michael's memorial lit up Elisa's dark living room.

Usher was singing and the camera showed the entire Jackson family sitting in the front row. The children and Katherine looked devastated and his brothers along with Joseph wore matching suits and silver sequined gloves.

Tears began to trickle down her face and she sat down mesmerized with the screen before her.

The camera than went to Michael's large silver coffin covered in beautiful roses. It than went back to the Jackson family and showed Prince trying to keep his head held high. Elisa could not believe how handsome and grown up he looked; it was like he went from a child to a man overnight. He looked strong and beautiful sitting next to his crying sister holding her hand. He was the man of the house now and Elisa was so proud of him.

Elisa than at that moment realized how childish she was acting, she was not the only person who loved Michael. Yet, she was the only one acting like a coward. She had to get to the memorial, she had to hold Michael's children and tell them how much she loved them.

She overlooked the broken glass and went into her bedroom to change, she grabbed her cell phone and ignored her 20 voice mail messages and called Ron.

"Elisa?" He answered sounding surprised.

"Ron, I need you to do something for me." She said frantically changing her clothes as she spoke.

Ron was in front of her condo within 15 minutes he drove her to The Staple Center and snuck her in through the back. The memorial was almost over and Elisa made it to the side of the stage just as Paris was speaking sweetly into the microphone.

"I just wanted to say; ever since I was born Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanna say that I love him, so much" she threw herself into Janet's arms and cried. Elisa stood waiting for them to leave the stage and began crying herself.

She was not 20 feet away from the large silver casket and it felt like someone was ripping at her insides. She was aching in places that she did not know she had inside her.

The family began to walk off the stage and Elisa walked out further making herself known to them. A few camera man and paparazzi eyed her suspiciously and took her picture but she did not care. She smiled at Paris, Prince and Blanket and they all made their way over to her.

They gave her a group huge and they all cried holding each other.

"I am so sorry I have been away, you all must hate me." Elisa said to them.

Prince was the first to pull away, he looked into her eyes and spoke genuinely.

"We could never hate you; we love you with all our hearts. We know that this is hard on you, but we love you just as much as our father did." He said sounding so much like Michael.

Paris clang to her harder telling Elisa that she agreed with Prince and Blanket hugged her leg and would not let go. The rest of the Jackson family crowded around them giving them some privacy from the audience and from the cameras.

Katherine pushed her way through and touched Elisa's cheek getting her attention. Elisa pulled away from the children and hugged her tightly.

"I am so sorry; I should have tried harder to save him." Elisa said into Katherine's ear.

Katherine held her tighter and stroked her hair.

"My dear girl, I have been trying to save Michael for years. Do not blame yourself for this, this was a tragedy but you are not to blame." She said crying softly.

To her surprise Joseph was the next person to speak to her. He rubbed her shoulder tenderly and spoke kindly.

"You were the best thing to ever happen to my son, He loved you. He would not want you blaming yourself." He said with kind eyes and an even kinder tone.

Katherine smiled and kissed her husband on the cheek while a few of the Jackson's looked on with amazement.

The first notes of Michael's heartwarming song "Man in the mirror" started to play and Michael's brothers and close friends crowded around his casket. They each held one handle and slowly carried it out of the arena with Michael's perfect face on the large screen above them smiling down at them.

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August 28, 2009

It was Michael's birthday and Elisa spent the day with the children and Katherine at her Encino home. They made their fathers favorite cake and sang happy birthday in memory of him.

The kids then watched Peter Pan while Katherine and Elisa talked alone. She told her everything, she told her about what she knew about Dr. Murray and the sedations. She also told her about the baby and the miscarriage, they went through an entire box of tissues talking and healing together. Katherine was becoming like a second mother to Elisa, she loved her and trusted her completely.

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Elisa was finally starting to heal, she was not shutting herself off from the world and she was learning to smile and laugh again. She got in touch with her family again (mostly just Camilla and Marco) and assured them she was fine. Camilla was starting at UCLA in the fall so she was living with Elisa while she attended University.

Michaels face and news was still everywhere but the initial shock had downed down which made it easier for Elisa to go out or to watch T.V. She was working on her new book and her publisher was completely supportive and gave her no set time to finish it.

The process of healing was slow but steady; she was starting to enjoy life again. She and Camilla would go visit Michael's tomb at forest lawn every Sunday and they usually went right before the cemetery closed to mourn privately.

Elisa still refused to do any interviews or answer any questions and her publisher was furious about that. Her publisher wanted her face and name out there but Elisa would never used Michaels death to further her career. She even considered writing under an alias but Katherine and Camilla talked her out of it.

The year went by smoothly for Elisa; her second book was published and met with fair reviews. She visited the children as much as she could and Michael's dying face no longer haunted her dreams. There would always be a missing piece of her soul that would never be filled again but her life was slowing getting back on track and she was thankful for it.

She still wore her engagement ring and swore never to take it off. She would never love any man the way she loved Michael, and vowed never to marry or date anyone again. Camilla and Katherine both thought she was over reacting. They tried to convincing her that she was still very young and had a long life ahead of her. Katherine tried assuring her that Michael would have wanted her to be happy and find love but Elisa was determined.

She never wanted to love anyone again, no one could or would ever take her heart away from Michael.

June 25, 2010

It was a year to the day, one year ago Elisa's life changed forever. Elisa woke up early that day and had a quite breakfast with Camilla. Camilla knew why she was quite and did not pressure her to speak. She simply told her that she loved her and left for her morning classes.

Elisa was going to go down to Gary, Indiana with Katherine and the kids. The town was revealing a shrine that they built for him and Katherine wanted Elisa with her. She agreed right away and made the arrangements; she would fly there early and meet them at the hotel. They were going to go to Jackson St. so that Katherine could reminisce with the kids there families past.

Elisa packed her bag after breakfast and left for the airport. When she arrived in Gary she rented a car because she wanted to explore the town and set off alone. She was not due to meet Katherine for hours and she was excited to explore Michael's childhood.

She had no idea where she was going, she took random turns and went down random roads discovering the city around her. She saw beautiful old churches and schools and wondered did Michael ever went to any of them. She drove through some wonderful neighborhoods with old fashioned shops and candy stores and could just picture Michael as a child buying all the sodas and candy he wanted.

The clouds were starting to gather and the sky was getting dark, she did not want to get caught in a storm so she stopped the car on the side on the road and looked over her map trying to find her hotel. Elisa was super confused, most of the streets had similar names and she could not remember for sure what streets she had taken from the airport.

She decided just to drive around until she found something familiar. It was not long before the sky became darker and darker and the sound of thunder rumbled above her head. The rain began hard and fast and Elisa must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because she was now in the middle of nowhere.

There were no houses or charming little shops around, just wide open space, factory's and steel mills. The roads became narrower and were slippery from the heavy rain. She turned off the radio that she was listening to so that she could concentrate harder on the road. She turned on her high beams but they did not seem to help, the rain dropping so hard and the car seemed to be losing control.

There was a loud crack of thunder and Elisa could see two bright lights in the distance. The lights belong to a semi truck and were growing bigger and brighter as it came closer. The car began to hydroplane and Elisa tried her hardest to keep it steady the high beams from the truck now made it impossible for her to see the road in front of her.

Her car skidded off the road; the last thing Elisa's remembered before everything went dark was the sound of shrieking tires and the semi's loud horn ringing in her ears.

Katherine Jackson was pacing her hotel room waiting for Elisa to arrive or call. She was two hours late and Katherine was starting to grow worried. The children were in the bedroom playing monopoly, dressed in their best clothes for the event they were going to.

The Michael Jackson shrine was all over town and Katherine could not believe that Elisa would be late for something so important.

Katherine turned on the T.V to try to pass the time until Elisa showed up. She went to channel 4 and watched the news. The red headed anchor man talked of the election for mayor that was vastly approaching before switching to the next story about a local food drive. The camera than turned to his co anchor who spoke of a terrible car accident that had just happened off the highway.

Katherine sat up and held her heart, for some reason she knew that it was Elisa and cried as the news anchor told the story.

"The crash took place during this afternoons surprise thunderstorm. The victim was driving a rented car which has confirmed that it was 39 year old Elisa Catani. Ms. Catani is the former fiancée of pop super star Michael Jackson. Ironically Ms. Catani was in town on the anniversary of his death with members of the Jackson family to help reveal the shrine that has been build in the pop stars honor. And in another bizarre chain of events she also died in the same hospital that Michael Jackson was born in 51 years ago."

Katherine could not believe her ears, she tried to still her beating heart but she was devastated. She turned off the T.V not wanting the children to hear and cried openly.

In all the grim and horrifying events of the last year, only one thought put Katherine's to ease.

Her Romeo was finally with his precious Juliet.

Elisa was lying on soft grass; the sun was beating down warming her cold cheeks and body. She batted her eyes open and was taken aback by the bright light around her. She put her arm over her eyes and sat up slowly.

Still adjusting her eyes to the bright light around her, Elisa looked around at her surroundings. She was in a valley surrounded by flowers and flush trees; she could hear water in the distance and the beautiful sound of birds chirping. She felt dizzy but she stood up slowly and looked into the distance seeing outlines of mountains and valleys.

She had been here before, she recognized this place but something was strange. She was surrounded by flowers but she could not smell there fragrance, she could see the grass and trees blowing in the window but could not feel any breeze.

Where was she?

She looked down and discovered that she was wearing a flowy white dress. She touched her hair and could feel flowers in it.

What was going on?

With her eyes were no longer stinging from the bright light she walked around the strange yet familiar landscape and look in its beauty. Everything seemed perfect, the colors were vibrant the clouds and valleys were perfectly formed. The grass was soft and looked like shaven pieces of emeralds.

She walked further discovered a stone path which she followed, at the end of the path stood a large oak tree with thin wood panels nailed into the side creating a ladder.

It was Michaels "Giving Tree", suddenly Elisa knew where she was.

Neverland.

"This is impossible" Elisa whispered spinning slowing looking at the splendor all around her.

"Nothing is impossible" said a soft, sweet voice behind her.

Elisa stiffened at the sound of the familiar voice and turned slowly to see Michael standing behind her.

He seemed to have come out of the light held something wrapped in a blanket in his arms.

Elisa was speechless, he was dressed in all white and his skin seemed to glow.

He looked healthy, his pale skin was now slightly sun kissed and his frame was slender but healthy. His brown eyes were bright and sparkled with happiness.

He walked slowly closer to her and smiled bright causing her heart to melt.

"Am I dreaming?" Elisa said not in upper shock.

"No Elisa you are not dreaming, you are finally awake." He said smirking at her stunned face.

"Michael, I don't understand.." She said still sounding shaken, Michael giggled and leaned in and kissed her softly.

Elisa felt her whole body tingle, suddenly with Michael's soft lips on hers she could smell the flowers around her and a cool breeze ran through her hair and chilled her body.

Michael pulled away and stared into her vibrant eyes.

"We are finally together; I have missed you so much." He said sweetly.

Elisa finally understood what was happening and did not feel once ounce of sadness, she was with Michael again and that is all she needed to feel happy.

"I missed you more." She said now crying tears of joy.

Michael gently wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead.

"There is someone I want you to meet" Michael pulled back the cloth reliving that he was carrying a baby girl.

He carefully handed her to Elisa, she had never seen anything so beautiful or perfect. The baby girl was the perfect mixture of both her and Michael. She had Michael's eyes shape but they were vibrant green like hers. The child's hair was black and shinny and her cheeks were beautiful and defined.

"Michael is this?"

"Yes, this is our daughter" He said moving next to Elisa, stroking the babies' cheek with his long finger.

Elisa stared down at her beautiful baby girl and felt pure joy. She had never felt so happy or content.

Michael took the baby back from her and held her high up in the air as she giggled and kicked her little feet innocently. A strong wind brew around them and Michael and Elisa's child magically turned to a pile of beautiful white rose petals and blew around them in the wind.

"Michael. What happened?" Elisa said looking up at him worried.

"Don't worry you can see her anytime you like." He assured her before holding her in his arms.

"This place is our home, here there is no hate or ridicule. There is just beauty and love."

Elisa smiled up at him and brought him close and kissing him adoringly, she never felt so blessed or happy.

They were home and she and Michael were finally completely free.

-THE END -